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Valour by blackballet

Format: Novel
Chapters: 45
Word Count: 100,067

Rating: Mature
Warnings: Contains profanity, Strong violence, Scenes of a sexual nature, Substance abuse, Sensitive topic/issue/theme

Genres: Drama, Horror/Dark, Romance
Characters: Dumbledore, McGonagall, Lupin, James, Lily, Sirius, Pettigrew, Voldemort, OC
Pairings: James/Lily, Remus/OC, Sirius/OC, Other Pairing

First Published: 08/07/2013
Last Chapter: 06/05/2016
Last Updated: 01/12/2017

banner by me 

Life goes on

But so does death


          Innocence and arrogance combine in a story about eight newly-graduated revolutionaries. 

Chapter 16: The Mystery in the Meet

 (August 1979)


The Hog’s Head wasn’t empty this time of year. In fact, it was the end of the school year in which it regularly thrived. Its lights were brighter than ever, and the smell of the end of summer breezed in the doors constantly.

The eight relaxed in their familiar booth, the same as last year. Marlene and Lily laughed over the similar looking group of freshly-graduated kids across the pub, and Dorcas and Remus were engaged in a game of Exploding Snap. Mary and Peter were quiet, mulling over their tasks with firewhiskeys and Chocolate Frogs. James and Sirius caught each other up on everything they’d missed after Sirius was taken out of the Order.

“Wait a minute,” James stated loudly and drunkenly. “Why did you get kicked out again?” Dorcas looked up from her game, and it exploded on her. Remus snickered happily, collecting the cards and raising his hand for another drink. Sirius wasn’t drinking for all Dorcas knew, but that wasn’t much to go on.

“I um,” he said through a smile, “I just kept skipping out on training,” he finished vaguely. It was enough for drunk James to buy apparently, as he clapped Sirius on the back and laughed brashly again. Dorcas let out a small breath, and turned back to Remus.

“Another game?” she asked in relief, snatching the cards from his hand and splitting up the deck. Remus shrugged and took a sip from his drink.

“I can’t believe it’s already been a year!” Lily exclaimed into Marlene’s ear. Marlene nodded in agreement and smiled at Lily who she hadn’t seen so happy in a long time.

“I know, Lily!” she shouted back, putting her arm around her friend and looking around at their strange group. “I’m so grateful to have you idiots!” Lily smiled goofily at Marlene and kissed her on the cheek.

“Marlene,” Mary said quietly, raising a camera. Marlene smiled at her, and smashed her face against Lily’s happily. The camera clicked, and the Polaroid slid out. Mary grabbed it from the camera, and passed it to Marlene. She looked at the picture carefully, making sure Lily didn’t spill anything on it, and tucked it into a bag that crossed her body.

“Thanks, Mary,” Lily said, her reaction delayed by the alcohol in her system.

“A toast!” Sirius said bravely, raising his glass of water to the table. Dorcas eyed him from across the table and rose her glass again. “To the kids who haven’t been kicked out yet.” James shook his head, and raised his hand to the waitress, signaling for another drink.

“To me!” Lily said, giggling and hooking her arm around Marlene’s shoulder again.

“To me,” Marlene agreed, raising her glass to Lily.

“To the girls who put up with the marauders!” Dorcas offered to the two, smiling at her friends. Marlene swilled her drink down and smiled weakly at Dorcas. Sirius glanced at Marlene out of the corner of his eye and cleared his throat. Lily laughed garishly at something Peter had said, and Marlene shook her head slightly and put down her empty glass.

“To the marauders who put up with the girls,” Remus slurred into his glass. Marlene smiled at Remus as he murmured into his drink.

“Ain’t that the truth,” Sirius muttered into James’ ear, who apparently thought that was the wittiest comment of the year as he spit out his drink and laughed obnoxiously.

“Honestly, do you all have to be happy drunks?” Sirius asked in disgust, wiping his arm of James’ spit.

“Remus isn’t,” Peter interjected, pointing at Remus who was deep in the corner, scowling at his cards.

“That’s just Moony being Moony!” James shouted, sliding down the bench and bumping into Remus.

“Get off me, Potter,” he grumbled as Dorcas snickered at him from the other side of the table. The cards on the table exploded as Lily’s drink spilled on Dorcas. “Come on!” Remus said, shielding his face from the small explosion. James smiled as Remus poked him with his wand. He slid back to the middle of the bench.

“I love you, Marlene,” Lily whined, leaning against her friend. Marlene slipped down on the bench under Lily’s weight, and looked around for help. Marlene struggled, but threw Lily off her and inadvertently onto Mary. Lily’s drink spilled over Mary’s lap, and Marlene’s hands went to her mouth.  

“I think that’s my cue,” Mary chuckled awkwardly. She stood and everyone groaned in disappointment.

“Come on, Mary!” Lily whined. “You’re always running off!” Mary smiled tightly at Lily and looked to the rest of the group.

“Yeah, Mary. Sure I don’t like you, but these prats find something interesting about you,” Sirius added with a shrug.

“No, no it’s alright. I’ve got work in the morning,” she explained, waving them off. “I’m just going to pay my tab and I’ll be out of here.” Peter stood up and put his hand on Mary’s back. She jumped to the side a bit, and her eyes widened in surprise as he kissed her on the cheek.

“I’ll see you soon, Mare,” he said softly as Mary started walking towards the bar. She smiled again and waved back quickly at the group, stumbling over her heels on the wooden floor. Peter sat down clumsily, and Marlene and Sirius shared another uncomfortable glance. 

“I guess that means we should break it up, too,” Remus said, breaking the silence that was building. He looked to his watch and groaned as he realized how late it was.

“Remus, you’re so boring,” Dorcas complained as Marlene stood up with him. She raised an eyebrow, and Marlene adjusted the bag that hung across her. Sirius clambered around the table and sat next to Dorcas, grabbing her hand and distracting her from Marlene and Remus’ sudden departure.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Marlene said distantly as her gaze lingered to Dorcas and Sirius’ hands. Remus slipped his hand in hers boldly, and Marlene blinked a couple of times, Remus’ gallant move breaking her from her trance. The four were locked in a sort of space, and it grew evermore awkward as Remus and Marlene stood there, unmoving. Lily laughed loudly again, and Marlene turned away from their table immediately. “See you tomorrow,” she stammered out again, pushing past the crowd that had formed by the doorway and heading out abruptly, her hand still clasped with Remus’.



Mary felt her heart beating in her chest as she glanced to the clock again. They were coming in a minute now. She held the manila folder tightly in her hands, and her shoulders shook uncontrollably. She took a deep breath, and eyed the shot glass on the kitchen table of her small flat.

“Accio,” she said quickly, whipping her wand at a bottle of tequila. It settled on the table, and Mary picked it up impulsively, drinking from it barbarically. She wasn’t exactly sure if it was better to be drunk or sober for this.  

She slammed it down on the table and bit her lip as the bitter drink burned her throat. She squinted at the clock again. So now they were late. Mary despised tardiness, although she’s sure they don’t care what she thinks.

She heard the snap of an apparition, and held her breath, knowing what was coming.

“Mary, Mary, Mary,” the thin voice hissed from a corner that Mary could not see. Her eyes danced beneath the black cloth that was placed around her head before she was apparated here. Where here was, she did not know. Mary could feel the sweat dripping down the side of her face.

Stupid, stupid, stupid, she thought as she felt a pair of eyes surveying her. How could she agree to this? Well, the real question is, how could she not?

“What do you have for us?” Us? There was more than one person involved in this? Mary thought it was just Voldemort. Again, stupid. He wouldn’t waste his time with something this trivial. “Well that’s where you’re wrong, Mary,” the same voice said knowingly. Mary’s brow furrowed. So he was a Legilimens? “You are not trivial.”  

“I brought the documents. Pr-proof,” she stuttered, holding out her hand into the oblivion. Someone snatched them from her. She heard the folder being ruffled through, and let out a sigh when she heard footfalls leaving the room they were in.

“This is all?” Mary nodded nervously. She left the cloth dampening from a mixture her sweat and now her tears. It stuck to her face, and when she went to adjust it, she found her arms were bound by her sides. “Need I remind you what is at stake here?” he asked calmly. Mary heard the papers being ripped up, and a fire lit up on the other side of her blindfold.

“No.” Mary licked her lips as the heat from the fire reached her. “I know what I have to do. And if you let me do it there won’t be any problems,” she spilled out anxiously. She wasn’t sure if the fire was there to scare her or not, but it sure was doing a hell of job. “There wasn’t a lot that week, that’s all.”

“No need to panic, Mary,” the voice said again. “As long as you’re doing what’s right, I’ll know.” Mary’s mouth shook as she fought herself from crying audibly.

The fire went out suddenly and Mary was left in the dark.

“Watch yourself, Mary. It’s dangerous out there with all those Order members.” Mary felt her head knock against something hard, and that was all she remembered.


(June 20th, 1981)


He slammed the door shut behind him, and the picture of he and Dorcas fell from the shelf above it. The glass shattered, and Sirius screamed with an emptiness about him. He breathed deeply and loudly, through his nose. The dishes were already piled up in the sink, so Sirius went to the kitchen. He broke one against the edge of the counter, and picked up another. She gifted him this one when he first moved into the house. He threw it against the floor and as it smashed, tears pricked at the edge of his vision.

Sirius kicked the broken ceramic to the side as he stormed out of the kitchen. He passed the living room and headed straight towards his bedroom. He opened the door. The door hadn’t been opened in ten days. He inhaled the staleness that had grown in the room and leaned his long frame in the doorway.

He pushed himself away from the doorway, and ran his hands through his dark hair. He tapped his foot against the wall behind him and stared into the empty room in front of him. He pushed off the wall, and launched himself through the door, standing at the foot of the room plainly. He took a long look around, his eyes stopping on the dresser, untouched since June 20th. He stepped over a pair of scrubs and dropped his leather jacket to the floor. As he reached the armoire, he slid his hand over the top of it, a thin layer of dust appearing. He wiped it off quickly on his pants, and leaned against the wooden furniture, his head in his hands.

He screamed out again painfully, scaring a cat off the windowsill. His voice went raw as tears started streaming down his cheeks. He couldn’t deal with this. He couldn’t handle it. He pushed away from the dresser and opened the top drawer. He flung the clothes out of it, throwing them behind his head and all over the plain room. He ripped through them all. Shirts, bras, underwear, shorts. After all the clothes were thrown out, he took the drawer out of the dresser and threw that against the wall with the crack in it. The wood left a dark mark in the otherwise white wall.

Sirius felt the room go still as he stood alone. Everything in the room reminded him of her. Of them. Of it all. It smelled like flowers and candy in one corner and liquor and cigarette smoke in the other. And then he looked at the bed. The unmade, dirty, all-knowing bed. It was unkempt, and a pillow was tossed on the floor. The worst of it: he really couldn’t remember who slept in it last.   

Sirius had never hated himself more than he did in that moment.     




A/N: It's about to get crazy, folks. Are you ready?