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The Fluidity of a Stone by RonNiffler

Format: Novel
Chapters: 4
Word Count: 11,489
Status: WIP

Rating: Mature
Warnings: Strong Language, Strong Violence, Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Substance Use or Abuse, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme

Genres: General, Romance, Angst
Characters: Scorpius, Albus, James (II), Lily (II), Hugo, Rose, OC
Pairings: OC/OC, Rose/Scorpius

First Published: 07/20/2010
Last Chapter: 08/02/2013
Last Updated: 08/02/2013

Banner by: Drowned @ TDA
Beta: megthechef43

They told me it was a gift, that I was special.

It ruined my family, drove my mum away and practically my father too.

But they will never fully understand just how wrong they were. If this is my gift, then I want a refund.

This gift is killing me.

Fred II/ OC 

Chapter 3: One Big Mess

Focus Collette. Focus… You can get out of this…

James’ arm hangs limply over my bare stomach, while his chest hairs tickle my neck. With each snore his body inches closer. That may be a slight exaggeration, but I swear I can feel the out line of his boxers on my hip.

Did I mention he was missing his shirt…and pants?  

The night, well the night had been many things: incredible, passionate, fierce, and so many other thing I have yet to decipher.

I stare at his body, which leaves all the proof that last night did in fact happen.

There are scratches covering his chest and if he flipped over one could see that his back isn’t much different. He has a really nice body, it’s a shame I had to go and leave scars.  There is only one noticeable hickey on his left collarbone, but I on the other hand resemble a leopard.

The comforter rests just barely past both our hips as I delicately lift his arm off of me.  If only I didn’t have to stare at my freckled, boring-underwear-taste, chubby body compared to James’ flawless chest.

I hear a creak as someone wakes up, “Morning Fred.” I hope he doesn’t catch how my voice trembles and I avoid all eye contact. I wonder if Fred is judging me; maybe he thinks I am just like all the other girls that crawl into James’ bed.

Maybe I am. Maybe I am worse then those girls because I still have respect for myself, but choose to do those things with James.

I try to ignore his shocked eyes full of questions and how his mouth resembles a fish opening and closing over and over.

“Don’t say a word,” I hiss under my breath careful not to wake James. Fred goes to open his mouth again. “Not one word.”

I carefully slip out from between the sheets and snatch my shirt from the floor. Fred seems sorry for me.  And I hate it; I despise the pity. If this is how he looks at me for fooling around with his best friend how will he look at me when he learns I’m dying.

And there it is: the fact my brain had been trying so hard to ignore. I was dying. What did it matter that Fred caught me with James or that I had done thing with him things that would make Andrew blush.

“Andrew is going to kill James you know….” Fred awkwardly averts his eyes while I put my shirt back on. I know my whole body is blushing, but I try to not notice.

I glance back at James to make sure he is still sound asleep, which he is, before turning back to Fred. “Andrew can do what ever he wishes. And I can do whatever I wish.”

As much as I want to pretend that I’m okay with all I did last night I can’t.  How could I be so stupid?

I can feel my face getting redder and redder the more Fred stares at me. I have never regretted something more in my life, but I couldn’t let him know that. All I want is to get out of this room and go hide under my covers.

“I’m sorry Col… I didn’t mean to pry. I won’t tell Andrew.” I refuse to make eye contact as I walk away. Why is it always the nice boys who see me as a screw up?

“Fred?” My voice is shaking. I’ve messed up so bad. Why couldn’t I have just gone to my bed last night and cried like a normal person? Instead I had to have a night of meaningless fooling around with my brother’s best friend.

Fred looks at me with the most endearing look. He is sitting up in bed now wearing a white t-shirt that is wrinkled from what looks like a rough nights sleep. I feel like crying, I just want someone to hold me and tell me everything is going to be ok. That Andrew will come back to me, that James will forget about last night, and that I’ll live a long happy life.

And Fred is right there with care in his eyes even though he probably thinks I slept with his friend…Why shouldn’t he be the one I trust?

“I- I don’t know what I was thinking. I just need to talk to someone-”

I stop mid sentence noticing the snoring that was bouncing off the walls of the room has stopped.

“Col, come back to bed.”

 James is awake. He is still lying shirtless in bed giving his signature smirk. “Sorry mate, mind if I steal her back.” I use to find that attractive… That confidence use to make my legs wobble and my heart skip a beat, but now it just makes me sick.

James winks at me. Apparently he is not on board with the plan of pretending last night never happened. I blush again for what feels like the millionth time this morning.

I’m standing in the middle of the room with Fred staring confused and James Potter winking. Not knowing what to do, I just stare at the floor biting my lip.

Collette you are a mess.  A down right mess.

Apparently my lack of a response hasn’t gone unnoticed. “Col?” James comes up behind me and puts his jacket around my shoulder. Why is he being sweet? Why can’t he just treat me like another one of those bimbos? I feel disgusted as the cloth touches my bare shoulders. I can’t help but wonder how many other girls have worn this jacket after waking up in Potter’s arms.

“I have to go.” I mutter not looking up from the floor. If Andrew comes up right now I’ll be having an earlier funeral then expected.

I leave the room as quickly as my feet will let me. The moment the door opens I start to cry. Not full on waterworks but just a few teardrops rolling down my face as I try to catch my breath.

Sometimes your body just needs to a have a long hard sob for hours until there is no more tears left to fall, sadly though, this is not that moment.

I sit down at the top of the stairs. Breathe in. Breathe out.  My legs shake uncontrollably and I fear that I will be right back on the floor the moment I stand up.

“What were you thinking,” I hear Fred shout from behind the door, “that’s Andrew’s sister.”

I know it is bad to eaves drop, but I am stuck here until my legs stop convulsing… I might as well listen.  

“Andrew is going to kill you. That’s his little sister you prat! Have you already slept with the rest of the school’s female population that you had to sleep with Col!” I press my ear closer to the door.

And here is the protective brother act Fred likes to put on whenever a boy dares to touch me. I never thought he would say these words to James, but heck I never thought James would be covered in my love bites.

“Relax, it’s not a big deal!” For the record James didn’t sleep with me, but apparently he forgot to correct Fred. “She just crawled in my bed last night, was I suppose to say no?”

My legs stop shaking enough that I think I can make it downstairs without breaking my neck. If I have to hear one more of James’ big mouth, I might just murder him myself.

I venture outside deciding I can’t get into too much trouble out there. It’s amazing how fresh air can make everything seem right again. I take a large breath not caring about how the cold air makes my lungs feel like they are freezing over.

I’ve always hated the snow. It is cold and wet and makes me bloody miserable, but watching it now dancing through the branches and taking rest on the stairs of the castle, I cannot remember a time so beautiful. No body has walked through it yet leaving muddy footprints behind. Instead it looks like a giant pearly white blanket hugging the surface.

The balance of comfort is yet to be disturbed and just for these few seconds the world around me is safe and perfect. There are no snowmen from the greedy hands of first years that want the snow to look different. No snowball fights to make this beauty into a weapon. No sun to melt all the perfection away and revealing the trampled earth below it. No snow angels-

I’m taken out of my deep thoughts by something cold and hard colliding with the back of my skull. At my feet now rests a snowball and there goes my perfection. I turn my head in the direction of where the snowball had been thrown to find a very cheeky Albus Potter smiling at me.

“Albus!” I screech upset that he has ruined my metaphor for life. “You prat can you not see I was in deep thought and-“

I’m hit again this time in the shoulder. I whip my head around, probably giving my self whiplash. She stands there with a grin bigger then Al’s. Her red hair is pulled into a messy ponytail and her cheeks are rosier then when I had been blushing half an hour ago. She is bundled up in one of her Nana’s sweaters and her scarf looks like it is about to fly off in the wind.

This unfairly beautiful child is Rose Weasley also known as my best friend.

I don’t even get a chance to defend myself as I am bombarded from a third direction. I know it is Scorpius without even looking. Snow is coming from every direction; I have no time to retaliate so I take off sprinting.

My breathing is labored as I run faster and faster. Rose is hot on my heels, Albus not too far behind her. I don’t know why I even bother, Rose is athletic; I haven’t run in over a month.

A few seconds later my face is being shoved in the snow making me gag as I take a quick inhale. My nose is freezing, and I’m pretty sure I may have left it behind in my face print as I push Rose into the snow.

She screams loudly, but is still laughing as she flicks snow in my face in order to get away. We are laughing hysterically even though snow is by this point down our shirts and shoes.

I, Collette Roberts, am laughing. After yesterday I never thought I would laugh again, yet staring at Rose covered from head to toe I laugh even harder.

Rose stands up first shaking the snow off and trying to get it out from under her shirt before offering me a hand.

The moment I’m standing I am right back down again; Al and Scorp shove handfuls of snow down my shirt. I shriek loudly, but none the less am laughing so hard I may piss myself.

Maybe I was wrong… Maybe it is the tracks left behind in the snow that make it so beautiful.

We all end up back in the boys’ common room drinking hot chocolate and snuggling under the blankets. Rose and I are wearing some of the boys clothing being too lazy to go back and get are own. Rose being the skinny stick she is looks like she is drowning in Scorp’s robes. I probably don’t look much better in Al’s oversized t-shirt and checkerboard pajama pants.

I don’t know why we choose to go to the Slytherin common room instead of Rose and I’s. Gryffindor at least knows about heat; here is almost colder then outside.

“Why didn’t you come back last night?” Rose asks, ruining the   silence. I knew Rose would ask about this, yet I have yet to come up with a good enough excuse and neither ‘I’m dying’ or ‘I was with James’ is an answer I’m willing to give.

So instead of answering I pretend as though I didn’t hear her. This earns me a whack, as obviously Rose wasn’t going to give up easily.  “Are you deaf? Where were you last night? I waited up till midnight and you still weren’t back?”

I can feel all of their eyes on me making me ridiculous uncomfortable. Okay Collette time to think on your feet…. “Andrew and I were just up talking last night.”

Scorpius is now the one to give me the questioning look. Scorpius was my first friend I met at Hogwarts and has stuck around ever since. We both have screwed up parent stories that we like to swap. He is that go to guy when you just need a nice long rant about how the world sucks. Plus the cherry on top, I introduced him to Rose, the women he is madly in love with, a fact that she doesn’t know. Hence us being best mates.

Scorpius is the best guy. Honestly Rose couldn’t find a better guy, “Andrew was in here all night,” Arse! That prick, how dare he give up my excuse the rest were believing it.

You know that moment when you know you are so screwed there is no way to get out of it? Yeah well I’m right in the middle of that with three hungry people ready to wear me down for answers.

I can’t tell them. I trust them with my life, I honestly do, but the moment they learn that I’m kicking the bucket soon they will just stare at me with pity. Rose will burst into tears and throw herself into finding a way to save me; Albus will first go kill his brother, James, and then act very similar to how Andrew took the news; and Scorpius would turn into a mess. I can’t do that to them. It’s too cruel, this is my problem and I will handle it myself.

My mouth hangs wide open as I try to think up a good enough lie. “If you don’t close your mouth flies will get in.” I whip my head around to find my wonderful, amazing, superhero brother standing behind me. He looks furious; his face is red from anger and there looks like there is dried blood on his knuckles. I suddenly wish I was dealing with the vultures I call my friends instead of seeing the fury in my brother’s eyes.

Though I know already what is wrong, it still shocks me to see Andrew in this state. We are all standing now the same look written across all of our faces. Andrew is breathing heavily and looks like he has gone mad.

“Collette, outside. Now.” I know he won’t hurt me, but still the venom in his voice makes me want to run the opposite direction.

Albus stands between us, “Whoa calm down man.”

Andrew is not in the mood to take orders though as his fist collides with Al’s jaw and a sickening crack echoes throughout the room. I have never seen Andrew hit someone. Shit, I have never seen him kill a bug.

“Andrew!” I scream and rush over to where Al is on the floor. Albus spits out blood onto the floor along with fragments of a tooth. “What the hell is your problem?”

“You think you can sleep with my sister,” Andrew stands over him his foot ready to collide with Al’s ribcage the moment he talks back.

Andrew thinks I slept with Albus…. It all starts to make sense; he probably heard I slept with ‘Potter’ and obviously assumed it was Al instead of the cocky older one. “Andrew! Stop it wasn’t Al!”

Everyone looks up at me now and Andrew takes a step back from Al’s bleeding form. “It was James.”

I could cut the tension in the room with a knife. Nobody says anything. “I didn’t sleep with Al, it was James.”

Andrew stares at me coldly no love in his usually warm brown eyes. “Andrew, listen!” Andrew has not intent on listening and starts to storm out of the door. I chase after him leaving my drop jawed friends behind me.

“Andrew!” I scream down the hall. He stops but doesn’t turn to me as his body shakes. “I didn’t sleep with James… I just needed a distraction! Please believe me nothing really happened.”

I decide not to tell him that I practically did everything else with James, that’s hardly going to save his life.

Andrew turns around the hate is gone from his eyes and all that is left is disappointment. “I’m such a screw up,” I cry.

Andrew catches me as I crumble to the floor. I start to cry and I mean really cry for the first time since I found out. “You must hate me.”

He strokes hair making me cry even harder as he whispers ‘it’s going to be ok.’ Over and over again lost for any other words. We rock back and forth, I hear him sniffle every once in awhile trying to hide the fact that he is also crying.

I am fully aware that my friends are staring at us about twenty feet away panicking, but I don’t care. Andrew is holding me and I know he forgives me for being dumb and that is all that matters.

I bury my head in his shoulder leaving stains as I cry until I am out of breath. “I can’t do this.”

Andrew forces me to look in his eyes, the sparkle is still missing, but I think it will return soon…At least I hope it will. “Look at me Collette.” He orders as I stare at my feet.

“I’m here for you.”

I realize I am no longer upset about dying. I’m upset that Andrew is dying emotionally right along with me. 

“I’m so sorry.”

I don’t know if Andrew understands the depth of that apology. Yes, I’m sorry about what I did with James, but I am more sorry that he is the one that has to pick me up from the broken pieces I have become. And most of all I am sorry that no matter what I say by the end of all this I will be gone and unable to put my brother back together.

“I’m so sorry Andrew.”