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We Couldn't Bring the Columns Down by ladyspirit

Format: Novel
Chapters: 21
Word Count: 59,752
Status: WIP

Rating: Mature
Warnings: Strong Language, Strong Violence, Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Substance Use or Abuse, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme, Contains Spoilers

Genres: General, Humor, Romance
Characters: Lupin, Snape, Sirius, Lily, James, Lucius, Narcissa, OC
Pairings: Other Pairing, James/Lily, Lucius/Narcissa, Sirius/OC

First Published: 05/21/2007
Last Chapter: 06/23/2011
Last Updated: 06/23/2011


“STOP THE MADNESS!” James was screaming, his face glowing with mirth. Apparently his groin was recovering. Sirius rolled onto his back,  he had his wand out and it was pointed at Lily.
Read it now or Regret it Later. You have been warned.OVER 29,500 READS! 
Oh yes and fyi this'll be the best thing you ever read.

Chapter 20: She Became A Cheat

Saturday morning dawned and offered nothing to the pupils of Hogwarts beyond grey skies and sleeting rain. Their desire to sneak away to Hogsmeade dashed by unseemly weather conditions Delilah and Sirius had decided to stay in bed, drawing the curtains of Sirius’ four-poster around them and casting every silencing charm they could think of in order to gain a sense of privacy.

They sat opposite each other Sirius cross-legged and Delilah with her knees pulled to her chest guarding the playing cards she had been dealt jealously.

“You know if I’m going to teach you how to play you will have to show me your cards,” Sirius reminded her as she pressed them firmly to her chest.

“Then why are you making us bet?”

Because it makes things more realistic!”

“So what you’re saying is I should bet you gold then let you see my cards so you can tell me what ones to use?” Delilah snorted, “How dumb do you think I am?”

“Well you’ve already bet me a galleon and you don’t know how to play...”

“This is a more than fair point that you’re making.”

Sirius face broke into a smile and he dropped his own cards to swing his pillow at her face. Hair eschew and expression shocked Delilah burst out laughing, “Unnecessary violence! I call disqualification!”

“I contest your decision!”

“We’ll see about that...” Delilah stuck her head out of the drapes, “James!” James bleary eyed and exhausted despite it nearly being noon blinked at her wearily.


“Violence during cards: grounds for disqualification?”

“Who was violent?”

“Your boyfriend,”

“Then it’s perfectly fine. Go back to your card game... if that’s what you crazy kids are calling it nowadays,” He found enough energy to snicker at his own joke then flopped back against his pillow. Delilah pulled her head back into the silenced cocoon she and Sirius had created with a sombre look on her face.

“It was a tough ruling,” She told him seriously, “But the referee says it is in fact grounds for disqualification so...” She made to take back her galleon but Sirius was too quick and grabbing her by the wrist pulled her up the bed to lie on top of him.

“That is not what he said at all. I can’t believe my girlfriend is such a cheating scoundrel,” Their faces were so close together that to focus on her he’d become nearly cross-eyed, Delilah grinned and kissed the tip of his nose.

“Wow, I’m Sirius Black’s girlfriend,” She said rolling off him so they lay side my side staring at the canopy.

“Yes you are you lucky thing,” Sirius agreed and she shot him a sideways glance, “Quite the turn up for the books isn’t it?”

“How do you mean?”

“Well,” He rolled onto his side to watch her face, his hand trailing carelessly along her bare thigh to the edge of the shirt she had borrowed from him and back down to her knee, "It took us almost seven years to realise we liked each other. It’s a bit crazy.”

Delilah gave him a funny little smile and shrugged, “I guess,”

“I mean... it’s always strange don’t you think? How when you meet someone you never know who they’ll end up being in your life?” Smiling at her nonplussed expression he continued, “I’m serious! When you first saw Lily did you think you’d be best friends? Or when I first met James I had no idea that in a few years I’d be living in his house. It’s weird. It’s like, I met you in first year and it took me seven years to realise how awesome you are-,” He gave her cheek a squeeze much like you would an adorable child causing her to bat him away, “- but  no, joking aside you are. I mean one day- and I’m not committing to anything here- we could be married and have kids and grow old together and we really have no idea about any of that. You could be my future wife, or maybe you’ll be my first wife who takes all my money-,”

“You have no money,”

“- all the money I’ll make after we graduate you cheeky mare. Or maybe you’ll be this girl whose name I remember in forty years time but whose face I can’t quite get a grasp on. You never know who people are going to be in your life,”

“Are you high?”

“No but I’d like to be. Shall we brave the rain and go get something by the way of recreational entertainment for this afternoon?”

“Hypothetical pot smoking won’t be very good for our hypothetical babies,”

“Hypothetically how much do you care?”

“Very little,”  



Andromeda felt the weight of the world on her shoulders, slowly crushing her, weighing her down and overall exhausting her. The Slytherin dungeons had never seemed so damp and dismal before, it was as though being pregnant had opened her eyes to horrible and unhealthy these conditions really were. It was awful that Salazar Slytherin had expected children as young as eleven to live this way (she decided that he really could have had no idea that seventh years would be stupid enough to get pregnant and so did not blame him for not predicting the need for a good environment for a foetus). Still, was it too much to ask for a nice view? Or perhaps just not to have the whole place smell of damp? It was making her nauseous.  

Still, maybe she was just being melancholy and why not? She was almost sixth months pregnant now and it was becoming damn near impossible to hide. There were only so many concealment charms a girl could cast and not only that but then there were the swollen ankles, the thickening of her fingers, the fact that every time her stomach cramped she thought she might have a heart attack. Time was moving much too fast and she really had no idea what she was going to do or where she was going to go. This baby was coming without any regards for blood feuds or underage parents or the fact its mother was poorer than a church mouse in her own right.  

Although she recognised that things could be worse; she had the love of a good man mudblood or no. That had to count for something. Andromeda may have been a Black but she was wise enough to know that love was the most important thing and she had it; it transcended everything else. Blood, money, power; it was all useless and chasing it only served to make you miserable. The thought brought her eyes to her younger sister who was sitting primly at a desk by the wall, her eyes on her textbook but her pupils stoic.

Andromeda couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen Narcissa smile and it was because Narcissa chased an idea of happiness rather than what would actually make her happy. A small flutter brought Andromeda’s hand to rest on her belly; she could feel the size of it- ripe and full- beneath her robes despite the charms to trick the eye. It was strange; having this baby should terrify her but amongst the madness the baby itself was the only thing keeping her sane. She wished, in an odd way, the Narcissa could have her own baby; her own little reminder that there were much more important things in this world than becoming a Malfoy. For what was so great about being a Malfoy anyway? Even Lucius didn’t seem to want to be a Malfoy anymore.  

As if her thoughts had conjured him Lucius appeared from the seventh year boy’s passageway and upon spotting her by the fire made his way over. He flopped- as much as Lucius could flop- onto the sofa next to her and closed his bloodshot eyes before speaking, “Is it wrong to say you’re glowing Andromeda?” He asked in such a way that it didn’t beckon a smile from her.

 Andromeda saw his blackened eyes, his pallid skin, the tremor in his hands and knew that her family had done this; little Narcissa in her naive selfish way and furthermore Bellatrix who with every action was becoming harder and harder to defend, even in Andromeda’s own head.

Her mind flashed to the letter Lucius had shown her, scrawled unmistakably in Bellatrix’s hand and it chilled her so much so that she could barely imagine how Lucius would be feeling although, from the looks of him, it wasn’t hard to ascertain that he was not handling the situation well.  

“I’ve been thinking Andromeda,” He turned his red laced eyes on her, a sad smile pulling at his colourless lips, “You seem nice enough, you’re not unattractive and you’re... in a certain condition. We could solve each other’s problems; I’ll claim your condition is also mine and we get married. Pure blood, above board, no one upset but your snivelling sister and maybe then this all goes away.”

Andromeda’s eyebrows lifted as she tried to decide whether he was serious or not. Glancing around to ensure no one was paying them any attention Andromeda took his hand, “Feel this,” She set it on her stomach; to the naked eye his hand landed on a flat plane but she knew that underneath his touch he’d feel the heavy thickness of her belly, feel the baby moving underneath, the wonder of it, “That’s my baby,” She said quietly aware suddenly that the words had made her smile.

Lucius mouth opened and closed as he searched for words but none seemed to come to him.

“I love this little person more than I could have imagined I’d love anything ever. I don’t even know them yet and I know that they are the most important thing in my world.” She let go of his hand but it still didn’t move from her stomach which he was staring at in wonderment, “Bringing him or her into the world has got me thinking about things, really thinking about what’s important. Six months ago if you’d told this would be happening and you’d offered me what you’re offering I’d have said yes, I’d have seen no other reasonable option but not now. There are more important things than what my family think or whether I get any money left to me in someone’s will. There are more important things than even what some nutcases in masks are threatening muggleborns and the people who support them with. I want my baby to come into the world surrounded by a family who love it no matter what blood runs through its veins or what name it answers to.” She smiled at him and felt a little bit of the weight she’d been carrying with her lift as she realised what she was saying as perfectly true, “So thank you Lucius but I’m going to chase happiness I think, not hide in fear,”

Removing his hand from her stomach Lucius let out a little groan, “I thought you’d say that. Well not all of that, but no. I thought you’d say no.”

“I’m going to make a run for it soon; go somewhere safe where I can see out my pregnancy in peace. Maybe you should go get your girl and runaway too?”  

“It’s not that simple,”

“It could be,”



James sat on the edge of his bed in the empty dormitory with the dirty and crumpled black letter spread out on his knees. He’d read it over and over until the words no longer made him angry; until he felt that he could just let them go.

It was simple really: he loved Lily and she loved him. Whether or not a million rock stars wrote her love letters made no difference really, he was lucky enough to have the love of a woman so enchanting that of course other men would notice it but the point was she loved James. There was no room for jealousy in amongst all that.

That being said he couldn’t quite bring himself to put the letter back into the pocket of her cloak and so, spurred on by the thoughts that she’d probably never notice he pointed his wand at the black parchment, “Incendio,” And watched as it burned and crumbled into nothing but ashes.

He was returning his want to his pocket when Sirius and Delilah stumbled back into the dormitory laughing and holding onto each other.

“We have had a successful venture Jimmy!” Sirius announced, “But before I divulge the nature of our trip I have to know: are you Head Boy or a marauder right now?”

“Oh a marauder definitely,”

“Fabulous!” Delilah cried, “Get Lily and the others, we’re all about to get so stoned we forget how to walk,” It was strange that becoming incapacitated could seem so appealing when promoted with such enthusiasm.   

There was a sudden rapping on the window and the trio turned to see a large barn owl worrying at the glass with its beak.

“Who’s sending a letter at this time?” Sirius asked but Delilah, having recognised the owl was already at the window.

“It’s for me,” She said allowing the owl in and quickly accepting the furled scroll from its talons.

“Why’d it come here?”

“It goes to wherever I am... it stops letters being left lying around.” Her voice was soft as she unfurled the note and read it her face becoming paler by the moment, “It’s from my mum,” She said her voice strange and unnaturally hushed, “I’m going to go and reply to her...”

“Are you OK?” Sirius asked concerned, the little bag of Marijuana he’d been waving excitedly moments before was now hanging limply by his side.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine,”

A/N Well there are really no apologies at this stage! I just hope if anyone's still reading this that you enjoyed this chapter! Let me know what you think! It's been a couple of years so my writing style has changed a little, for the better? It remains to be seen.