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The Unexpected: A Lily and James Story! by Emms16

Format: Novel
Chapters: 36
Word Count: 168,086

Rating: 15+
Warnings: Mild Language

Genres: Romance
Characters: James
Pairings: James/Lily

First Published: 12/13/2002
Last Chapter: 06/19/2003
Last Updated: 08/24/2005


Chapter 33: The Biggest Mistake of their lives.


James stared at his twirling hands, not daring to speak, blink, or even breathe. His eyes were red and swollen from crying, and his back was stiff from sitting straight up in his chair, waiting for any news on his wife.

Lily, that was all he could think about. Why had they fought! What if he never got to tell her that he loved her again? God, she was stubborn!

He bent his head, and rested his temple on his palm. He felt the familiar sensation of water trailing down his raw cheeks. He gripped his hair. ‘Why did she have go and leave, I knew it was dangerous? I knew something like this could happen, and I still let her slip through my fingers.

“This is all my fault, if I had tried just a little bit harder! I mean I’m bigger than she is! I could have stopped her….and I didn’t…” his voice broke, and he crumpled in his seat. He didn’t dare look up, fearing the expression that he knew Sirius probably had on his face.

Sirius had never seen James disintegrate like this.

James jumped slightly when he felt a lightweight rest on his left shoulder. He glanced up immediately thinking it was one of Lily’s many doctors.

He sighed heavily, when he realized that it was only Sirius. Sirius sat down next to his best friend, and tried to smile reassuringly.

James wished he could show as much reassurance as Sirius.

Sirius patted his shoulder.

“She’ll be fine! She’s a fighter,” his voice wobbled.

James looked away, water swimming in his blue eyes. ‘What if she didn’t make it? Where would that leave him?

“Where’s Harry?” James asked.

“He’s coming with May.” Sirius gave his shoulder another pat.

“Where are they!” a frantic voice penetrated the tense silence.

Sirius stood up, and patted James’s shoulder one last time, before walking toward the doors.

He pulled the door open, and May and a doctor wearing a bright white robe, and clutching a clipboard, stood behind the heavy door.

The doctor nodded at Sirius before taking off in the opposite direction that May had come from.

Sirius turned his attention on his fiancée. She was pale, and shaking. Her skin stood out ghostly with her long black hair. She held Harry on her hip, and tears were running from her stormy gray eyes.

“Sirwius!” Harry said happily.

“Siri! Where’s Lily? What happened?” Sirius frantically shushed her and led her out into the hallway. He shut the door firmly.

“You shouldn’t go in there until I’ve explained some things.”

“What? I know it’s something really serious, what’s going on?” she practically yelled. Harry’s large emerald eyes filled with tears, and his bottom lip trembled.

May began to bob him on her hip as she stared imploringly at Sirius, begging him to explain.

“Please stay calm, I don’t need you and James having nervous break downs tonight, I don’t think I could stand it.”

May’s face paled. “How’s James.”

“Not good.”

“Well, then explain!”

“Lily had and accident.”

“What kind?”

“She tried to help an auror, but a death eater found her first.”

May sucked in a breath, and squeezed her eyes shut, a tear rolled down from the corner of her eye as she looked up to regard him again.

“James and I found her when he was in the process of ‘Crucioing’ her,” tears began to fall down May’s face in a steady stream. “It must have been on her for more than ten minutes, because it broke the skin, and damaged many internal organs, but the Mediwitches seem to have that under control. Right now they are cleaning her new blood, before they are placing it in her. (What?? They live in a magical world! Why can’t they have new blood, and the ability to clean it? Think Fahrenheit 451) She’s very critical right now, and she needs a lot of rest. She may not wake up for a couple days so you have to be patient, and we have to be there for James and Harry, because I don’t think James will be able to function properly without Lily. That could mean disaster for little Harry here,” Sirius finished, reaching out to take his godson from May’s shaking arms.

“But she’ll be ok won’t she?” she asked in a shaky voice.

“I hope,” Sirius said grimly, holding baby Harry protectively to his chest. He gently rubbed circles into his little back, and brushed a kiss against Harry’s unruly hair. Harry leaned his small head onto his godfather’s shoulder.

“I want to see James.” May said looking past Sirius’s shoulder at the closed door.

“You sure?”


“Ok, you might want to take Harry with you, James will want to be with his son.” Sirius said, handing Harry back over to his Godmother’s arms. He grasped the brass door behind him that led into the waiting room.

“Did someone tell Remus and Peter?” May asked, bouncing a crying Harry on her hip.

“Oh shit,” Sirius ran a free hand through his disheveled hair, pausing with his hand poised on the doorknob, and sighed. “I’ll contact them when we’re done here.”

May nodded, as Sirius pushed the hospital door open, ushering May into the room, before making his way to find a place to floo Remus and Peter from. “I’ll be back in a minute.

May nodded, and walked further into the hospital waiting room. However what she saw when she reached the hospital waiting room, she wasn’t ready for.

It almost took her breath away. She’d never seen James look more lost, or in so much pain. He had dark rings under his eyes, and his hair was almost non-existent. His blue eyes were cold, and filled with emotional anguish.

“James?” May said quietly, walking up to him.

“Daddy!” Harry yelled, running a small hand over his eyes. He squirmed in his Godmother’s arms.

James looked up, and the first true smile that day lifted the corners of his mouth.

“Hey little man!” he said, holding his arms out to take his son from May. “Come ‘ere.”

May placed Harry on James’s lap, and watched him hug his son to his chest.

“Where Mummy?” Harry asked muffled in his father’s robes.

“She’s in the other room, but she’ll be just fine.”

May sat down next to them. She put her hand on James’s shoulder. Who was still hugging Harry’s small body to his, and placed a kiss on Harry’s small head, before smoothing his hair away from his eyes, but didn’t look at May.

“It’s all my fault, I shouldn’t have let her go,” he said quietly, patting his son’s back comfortingly.

May didn’t know what to do. She squeezed his shoulder gently. “James, this isn’t your fault! It’s that dirty death eater’s fault! And he’s rotting in Azkaban now.” She saw his hands ball into fists on Harry’s night shirt, and she knew he was contemplating all the things he would like to do to her attacker.

“Listen, Lily loves you, and she knows that none of this was your fault. You couldn’t stop her from going to work if you tried, and I know she wouldn’t want you blaming yourself for something that you couldn’t control. None of this is your fault,” she finished, her voice was all choked up, and tears were streaming down her face.

She watched him, as Harry grew impatient and squirmed out of his father’s arms, and instead perched on his knees, and began to reach for James’s glasses that were resting on his face.

He nodded, and looked toward the door, that he knew Lily was behind somewhere.

“Say it,” May said.

“What?” he asked looking at her. “Harry, stop that.” James interjected pushing Harry’s small hands away from his face.

“Say it.”

“It isn’t my fault?” he asked weakly.


“It isn’t my fault.”

May nodded and sat back in her chair. “She’ll be fine,” she nodded strongly, and gave him a one armed hug. “You wait and see.”


Sunlight streamed through the open windows in the hospital room. A light breeze blew her hair, and tickled her sore nose.

Lily tried to pry one eye open, but it was so sore, it felt like a lead weight. Even her hair blowing around her face, was a bit tender.

She sighed, and fidgeted on her bed, she was in a most uncomfortable position. She almost had an urge to call for her mother, before she stopped herself.

Where in the world had that come from?

There was a pressure wrapped around her torso, and she seemed to not be able to move her arms from her side.

The door to the hospital room swung open, and she heard soft voices talking.

“Moony! She’s been unconscious for a week. Her tissue and all that has mostly healed, the doctors have no idea what’s wrong. I’m worried about James; he’s like incapable Lily. I swear to God, I’ve had to come over every morning for the passed week to make sure that Harry and James had eaten,” she heard Sirius’s unmistakable voice. She grinned, and tried to move her head. But a burst of pain put an end to that thought.

“Siri? Rem?” she managed through a sore throat.

The two men went still, and turned toward the bed. She saw the unmistakable grin spread across Sirius and Remus’s face.

“LILY!” Sirius shrieked. He ran to her bedside, and took her hand. He sat down in the chair that was placed by the head of her bed, probably James’s doing, and regarded her with worried eyes. “Thank God you’re finally awake! You have no idea what It’s been like for us, having to take care of James!”

“What about Harry?” she asked with a smile.

“Harry?” he waved it off as if he hadn’t even thought of that. “That kid can take care of himself, It’s James we’re worried about, he can’t cook to save his life.”

Lily giggled, and squeezed his hand.

Remus stood above the bed, and smiled at Lily encouragingly. “How are you Lils?”

She managed a weak shrug. “Sore,” she coughed, but it hurt her lungs. “My god what the hell did they do to me?” she asked annoyed.

“You’ll feel better in a couple of days.” Sirius said.

“Where are James and Harry?” Lily asked.

“They’re down in the cafeteria having breakfast. Want me to go get them?” Sirius asked softly as to not hurt her ears.

“No, they’ll come when they’re done, I’m not going to steal him away from breakfast, if he hasn’t been eating.”

Sirius grinned. “You heard us?”

Lily smiled weakly. “Yes.”

Sirius nodded, just as the door to the room was pushed open. “How’s she doing?” A tired voice asked.

James stepped into the room, balancing Harry on one hip, a throw up rage rag across his shoulder.

“I’m fine Jay.”

James head snapped down to look at his wife, and he stared at her.

“Mummy!” Harry squirmed in his father’s arms, and reached out for his mother.

She smiled at him. “Morning, sunshine.”

She saw tears swimming in James’s eyes, as he walked over. Sirius released Lily’s hand, and stood up, making to stand beside Remus at the end of the bed. James took his place in the chair close to Lily’s head.

He placed Harry in Lily’s waiting arms, and took his wife’s free hand. He brought it too his lips, and gave it a lingering kiss.

“How’re you feeling?” he asked, his eyebrows coming together in worry.

“I’m fine James,” she said while hugging Harry. “And how’s my little boy?”

Harry gave her a wide baby grin.

James glanced over his shoulder at Remus and Sirius, trying to communicate for them to leave.

They took the subtle hint, and left the hospital room.

“I’m sorry.” James said the moment they left the room. “I’m so sorry.”

He laid his head next to her side. “God, Lily, I’m so sorry,” he said tearfully.

She reached up with her free hand, and ran it through his hair. “James, I’m fine.”

“I could have lost you, and it’s entirely my fault. I shouldn’t have let you go.” He said, bringing his hand up to cover hers that was still in his hair.

Harry squirmed, and crawled out of his mother’s arms, and made his way down the length of the bed.

“James, like you could have stopped me,” she smiled down at her husband. “Seriously James, I’m fine. Look at me,” she said softly, “come on, look.”

James raised his head, and Lily’s hand trailed down from his hair to the side of his face. “See I’m here, and I’m fine.”

“Never again Lily,” he covered her hand with his again, “never.”

Lily rolled her eyes, releasing her hand from the side of his face. “James……”

He shook his head. “Never, we need another secret keeper. I won’t have my family put under anymore danger.”

Lily buried her hands in the folds of her blankets that were tucked around her slim waist. She nodded. “Ok, who?”

“Anyone you want.”

Lily nodded. “Ok, I want Sirius.”

James looked at her confused. “Sirius? Black?”

Lily smiled. “The one and only.”

“Are you sure about him?” James asked, looking at her with concern. “Do you have a concussion? I mean I love Sirius and all, but him as our secret keeper?”

Lily giggled. “Well we discussed this before, and I was thinking he’d do a great job. He loves us, and Harry too much to tell anyone where we are located, so it fits, I think.” Lily said.

James nodded at her reasoning. “You’re sure?”

“Positive, when can we start?”

“I want to get this done as soon as possible, I don’t want room for anything like this to happen again.” James said reaching up and smoothed a strand of her fiery red hair from her forehead.

“Well go get him, and floo Dumbledore.” Lily sighed, “Let’s get this over with.”


Lily sat on the bed wrapped in blankets hours later, her hair, having been in her way for the majority of the day, was now pulled into a messy ponytail. She held her wand weakly toward Sirius Black’s heart. James stood next to her, with his wand also to Sirius’s heart, just like they’d done for James’s mother weeks before.

“You’re sure you want to do this?” Professor Dumbledore asked. His eyebrows coming together in worry. “Because once you perform the spell, that’s it. Like I’ve said before, I’d be happy to be your secret keeper.”

James nodded. “We know, and thank you professor, but I think Voldemort would think of you with no problem. We can’t risk it. We’ll go with Sirius.” He finished, shivering slightly.

Dumbledore nodded one last time before turning to leave out of the hospital room.

Lily sat still watching Dumbldore leave, and she couldn’t help but think how the secret keep had turned out last time. She instinctively lowered her wand, and stared blankly at Sirius, with large round emerald eyes.

James looked at her, as the door shut behind Professor Dumbledore. “You ok, luv?”

“Fine,” she shook the thoughts out of her head, and smiled up at him.

Lily watched Sirius’s face as he fidgeted nervously. His mind must have been whirling with what he was about to do. Could he do it? Was he strong enough?

Lily and James’s wands were on him again.

She watched Sirius take a deep breath, and shut his eyes.

She opened her mouth, about to call out the incantation, when Sirius seemed to have made up his mind.

“WAIT!” he stepped forward, with his hands outstretched.

James lowered his wand and stared at Sirius, confused by his outburst.

“Maybe you’ve got the wrong person,” Sirius said worriedly.

Lily lowered her wand to let her weak limb rest on the mattress.

“Care to elaborate?” James asked.

“Well, You-Know-Who will probably assume that you guys would pick me, and then he’d come after me, right? Don’t you think you should pick someone less likely? Someone Voldemort wouldn’t think of?”

James and Lily shared a look.


“I hate to so be forward here, but what about Peter?” Sirius tried.

“Pete?” James asked shocked, turning his attention to his best friend. “Do you think he’ll be up to it?” James asked unsure of where this was leading.

“I think he’s perfect. No one would suspect.” Sirius nodded.

James and Lily shared a look. Lily gave one nod, before leaning back into her pillows.

“I see your point Siri, is he here?” Lily asked weakly, in absolutely no mood to argue.

“Yea, I’ll go get him.” Sirius bounded out of the hospital room, sure that his plan was going to work.

And so the afternoon began with the same old process of making Peter into their secret keeper. They didn’t realize that it was something that would change things forever. They didn’t realize that it was something that James and Lily wouldn’t have the chance to regret.

In short, they didn’t realize that they were about to make the biggest mistake of their lives.


REVIEW! PLEASE! Only one more chapter left of J/L time….*tear* it’ll be sad….but it’s the one you can’t miss! After that I’ll have 4-5 or 6 chapters back in Harry time to tie up loose ends…anyway keep reading and reviewing!

IT’S OFFICIAL! I’m an idiot! I made the mistake of Dumbledore being in the last scene. I clearly wasn’t thinking straight. Sooooo sorry!