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I am Alexandra Jane by FunkyLlama

Format: Novel
Chapters: 4
Word Count: 9,134
Status: WIP

Rating: Mature
Warnings: Strong Language, Mild Violence, Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Substance Use or Abuse

Genres: Drama, Humor, Romance
Characters: Lupin, Sirius, Lily, James, OC
Pairings: Sirius/OC, James/Lily, James/OC, Lily/OC, Remus/OC

First Published: 09/21/2009
Last Chapter: 11/12/2009
Last Updated: 11/12/2009


It's a pity I'm not normal, according to the others I could be so much more if I tried.
Who am I kidding, I quite enjoy talking to myself, I'm quite a fascinating person.
Nothing that exciting happend in my life...Untill him.

I am Alexandra Jane.
And he..
Why he's Sirius Black.

Chapter 4: Detentions and the Hulk.

 A/N: I back flipped over the side of the hot air baloon basket. I was falling, at a limb cracking speed. I looked up, spotting six or seven dark figures also toppling through the cool night air. I pointed my arms toward the ground, increasing my speed. I had lost them! I pulled my shoot, and floated easily to the rough, brown terrain. With a pleased smile, I landed. Job  well done. I looked up.

In a tight circle around me, stood fifty. NO, one hundred and fifty armed Lawyers.

I raised my arms in a feeble surrender....

Ok. Enjoy!

Never in my life had I gotten a detention. No, I'm not a goody good! I'm just careful when it comes to misbehaving. Only on special occasions is my motto! I smiled to myself.
It was almost eight o'clock, I had a detention with Sirius Black in twenty four minutes and thirty two, thirty one, thirty seconds. I wasn't quite sure how to handle this situation.  It seemed Sirius didn't hold any interest in being my friend, or even being kind to me. No he much rather preferred to see me humiliated and put out. I could tell you now, Sirius black and I had absolutely nothing in common, he was a prick, he was good looking. Very, Very good looking. I wasn't. It didn't bother me that I wasn't radiant like Cassie, Lilly or...Jacinta. I didn't care, not very much anyway. I rose from my bed, leaving the soft sheets behind. As soon as I had gotten back to the dorm I had decided to take a quick nap. It was a talent I had developed over  a number of years; I was able to fall asleep anywhere. It took less than a minute for me to doze off. 
It was cooler now. The evening had brought a musky humidity with it. Outside on the grounds, a light mist hung ever so beautifully above the lush grass. The sky looked gorgeous, every star individualized; the deep black of the sky causing the stars to look absolutely enchanting. I beamed, it had definitely been the most interesting day of my year. First of all, I had been talked to my Cassie's spunky older brother, was hit in the face, jumped in the lake, had eye sex with Sirius Black, ran into Lilly snogging, been yelled at by Sirus for telling James, witnessed a battle and landed myself in detention.
In all honesty I was quite damn proud of myself, I had prevailed in aiding Cassie with Remus, broken the rules and had spilt a secret to James Potter. This day would have been perfect if not for the detention. 
I wasn't really sure about what to bring, what to wear. I decided to change into a pair of torn skinny jeans and a Hulk Tee; I soon realized it was a tad bit small, and rested just a few centimeters below my belly button; I decided it looked fine, I couldn't really be bothered changing anyway. The Hulk, another Muggle creation. A regular guy that, when enraged, turned into a hot hunk of brawn and green. I grinned.
I reached over to the left side of my bed, and grabbed my school bag. Just incase it was lines or something boring like that. I smoothed the covers of my bed, tucking in the sheets and plumping the pillows expertly. I loved a well made bed.
The dorm was empty apart from me. I suspected most of the girls were out with their significant others; It seemed that everyone had a boyfriend apart from me.
I slipped on some of Cassie's flats- White ones, with the backs worn down. I walked into the bathroom, took one look in the mirror and my face crumpled.
A agonizingly dull face scowled back at my from the finger-print coated glass. My hair was chaotic, wavy as well as frizzy. I reached over to one of the many make-up bags on the bench. It just so happened to be Lily's. I probed around until I found her special de-frizzing balm, she didn't let anyone touch it. Ever. I took as little as possible and combed it through my hair. astonishingly it worked; nothing worked on my hair, I grinned. My hair now fell in feminine waves, it wasn't as pretty as Lilly's or Cassie's; It still looked relatively nice. I scrutinized my face, deciding my foundation did not need to be re-applied. However, I did decide to apply some eyeliner and mascara. My eyes were soon lined with coal black, making the blue stand out a little more. Lastly I applied my mango and strawberry lip balm, spritzed some of Cassie's perfume on (Which I regretted instantly; I was never much of a perfume kind of person) and walked out of the dorm.
The halls were empty, the paintings were silent, slumbering. I raised an eyebrow, It was hardly that late! Oh shit. I didn't actually know what time it was, I glanced at my watch. Of course it was of no help what so ever. All I could do now was pray to Merlin that I wasn't too late. My speed picked up as I rounded a corner, my footsteps resounding off the stone walls. I was out of breath by the time I reached Professor Mcgonagall's office, and as I pushed the door open I knew I was in the shit.
"Miss Jane, do you have any idea what time it is?" Mcgonagall asked, her eyes were on a piece of parchment that lay on her desk. 
"Um, I don't actually." I paused, realizing Sirius was not in the room. "You see my watch we-" I started, but before I could finish the doors were thumped open; Revealing a relaxed Sirius Black.
"Mr Black, glad you decided to join us" She raised her eyes, watching us both with an intense gaze. "You are both thirty four minutes late, this detention will now finish at ten thirty four." She said, her tone lacking any sign of emotion. I instantly felt guilty for making her wait. Ah, clever trick.
Sirius groaned, and sent a glare at the woman, who stood up and gathered her things.
"You will both be required to clean this classroom, spotless. No leaving before ten thirty four."
Sirius drew his wand, and smirked.
"Mr Black, certainly by now you know no magic is to be used." She said, her gaze stern. Sirius groaned once again, and put his wand away. "You will find all the laundering products you require in the cupboard to your left, good night." She said, gesturing to the broom cupboard, and then she disappeared out the door.
It was silent. 
"Um, I uh" I tried.
"Look, I don't fancy being here anymore than you. Do me a favor and don't talk to me" He spat.
My mouth dropped open in surprise, who the hell did he think he was! I watched him, taciturn, as he hauled out a mop and some green stuff in a bottle.
"Excuse me!" I said, "Just because your having a sulk cause your plans with some bimbo got cancelled, does not mean you have the right to take it out on me!" I exclaimed, crossing my arms and glaring at the preposterously exquisite boy.
"I can do what ever the fuck I like. Just because I had plans and you didn't" He said arrogantly, returning the glare with equal hostility. I huffed.
"For your information, I did have plans! Something alot more interesting than eating face" I clenched my fists.
"Oh, like what eati-" I didn't let him finish, "Your disgusting, stupid ass!" I yelled. 
"Oh, is little Alexandra jealous." He said in a mocking baby voice. 
"Black your a right prick!" 
"I think Alex needs a woman to hold" 
"No need to get defensive just cause you like girls." He jeered.
I shoved him as hard as I could.
"Don't fucking touch me!" He said, shoving me back.
"Don't push me Black!" I screamed.
"Or what, what are you going to do about it huh?" He asked, shoving me one last time.
My back hit the stone wall.
"I uh- I- u-hm" I stuttered moronically.
Blacks face was dangerously close to mine, his breathing was angry and ragged. I could feel it on my face. His glare bore into me, I felt defenses against him.
I looked up at him, fear showing in my eyes. I knew about him, his family. I didn't know what to expect from him, I wasn't sure what to do next. He kept my gaze, his eyes burning into mine. I was about to whimper when, and I know I'm not imagining this, his eyes flickered to my lips.
That one moment was all I needed, I brought my knee up as hard as I could. It connected with his groin. Sirius let out an agonized yelp and crumpled to the floor.
For a moment, I regretted it. That moment however passed, and with all the speed I could muster I bolted out the door. We hadn't even begun to clean the room, this was sure to land me in another detention; I didn't care. I knew it wouldn't take long for Sirius to recover. He's be after me in a flash, and then, I was fucked. I ran down the corridor, turned left and then hid behind a suit of armour and waited. It was about three minutes before Sirius came into sight, limping slightly. He looked furious, I shrank back as he looked left. For a moment I was certain he was going to walk down the corridor I hid in. I blew a relieved sigh past my lips as he continued on, straight, mumbling. I slid down the wall, eyes closed. There was no way I could go back anytime soon, he would be waiting there for me. As I sat against the wall my mind drifted to other things. My family, mother, father and sister Molly. I loved Molly with all my heart, she had graduated from Hogwarts two years ago, a brilliant Ravenclaw. She now worked as a healer. I missed my family more than anything else. I missed my mother's cooking, my father's aftershave. I missed my room and the garden view from my window. I missed the muggle people next door. I loved Hogwarts, but I needed my family.  I sighed and stood with great effort. It took longer to get back to the Common room, I walked at a painfully slow pace this time. My mind was elsewhere, and my feet were unresponsive. When I arrived I gave the Fat Lady the password and cautiously stepped inside. There was no Sirius insight, he must be searching still, or he's in his dorm.
"Alex! Detention over already?" 
I looked up to see Cassie and Lily sitting on the couch, pouring over a muggle magazine. They were not the only ones in the common room. Jacinta Hornbury and James Potter were snogging by the window, Frank Longbottom was sitting at a table, a wall of parchment encircling him. There were a few first and second years playing Wizards chess, and four third year girls deep in conversation by the fire.
"Oh yea, uh. Finished early?" I said, scratching the back of my head awkwardly.
"Why, what happened? Mcgonagall go easy on you?" Lily asked, absently.
"Uh, no not exactly" I said, looking rather embarrassed.
"What did happen then?" Cassie said, looking very interested now she noticed my expression.
"I um, well" 
"Spit it out!" Lily exclaimed, putting the magazine down.
"Well, ok." I said simply.
Their faces had impatience written all over them, "Ok, so I may or may not have, kneed Sirius in the balls." I said quickly.
Their faces were absolutely priceless, Lily's eyebrows shot up and her jaw dropped. Cassie's face went from blank to Puzzled to shocked. The third years by the fire gasped, James stopped eating Jacinta's face.
"You, wait. You did what!" hollered Cassie.
"I kneed Sirius in the nuts" I said, then I opened my mouth to continue but Lily interrupted me.
"Oh my gosh, Alex!" She scolded.
"Hey, he insulted me, said I liked girls!" I said defensively.
"So! You know better than that!" Lily said, "You know your going to get into trouble for this!" 
"I'm not stupid Lillian, I know!" I spat.
Hurt flashed across her face, Cassie shook her head.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it Lils!" I said, my apologies were never the best. Infact I didn't normally apologize to anyone. 
"It's alight, never mind." She replied, a small smile appearing on her gorgeous features.
Cassie yawned and stretched, "I'm pooped, wana head up? " She asked.
The common room was empty anyway, so after one quick glance at the portrait hole; I followed the girls upstairs, into the warmth of the dormitory.
The room was alive and buzzing, Jacinta and her posse of skanks sat on their beds; they were talking about nonsense, and a horrible smelling lotion onto their dieted limbs. Alice and her quiet friend Sandra sat on Alice's bed, chatting in hushed tones. Olivia Greens, the pretty caramel headed chaser had gone to bed; I wasn't surprised, she did get up insanely early.
I bit my lip as Jacinta laughed, in the least subtle manner about my once again frizzy hair. Lily shot her a dirty look and smiled at me.
All I wanted was to sink back into the warm sheets of my bed and sleep, a dreamless night. I changed quickly, and hurried into the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth.
The chatter from the dorm continued as I hopped into bed, after saying good night to my friends. I drew my curtains and ducked under my covers, relishing the warm darkness.
I shut my eyes, and soon fell into a deep slumber. My dreams saturated with one face.
Sirius Black.

A/N: Oh I know I'm evil!

'Omg don't hurt Sirius!'

TO BAD! Mwahaha. I bet you all thought Alex was going to let him kiss her!

What will happen next?
Will Sirius get revenge?
Will Cassie get with Remus.
Who knows!