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Caught In The Fire by DeathCabForCutie

Format: Novel
Chapters: 24
Word Count: 82,143
Status: COMPLETED

Rating: 15+
Warnings: Strong Language, Mild Violence, Scenes of a Sexual Nature

Genres: Humor, Action/Adventure, Angst
Characters: Dumbledore, Lupin, Sirius, Lily, James, Narcissa, OC, OtherCanon
Pairings: Sirius/OC, James/Lily, Other Pairing

First Published: 03/25/2009
Last Chapter: 09/18/2010
Last Updated: 09/18/2010

Summary:
Everyone in the world who has ever dared to love has had that person.


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This is the one person who meant more than all the others and made more of an impact than any of the rest. Juliette Paxton, Auror, disowned Pureblood and former Slythern was thought to never have such a person. That was until Sirius Black strutted back into her life.


Chapter 4: You









Her dark eyes lured him in. They always did. No matter what he told himself to try and stay away from her he never could make himself do it. Leaning in he smiled, a smile he reserved only for her, and said, “Where have you been?”


She smiled back. “Waiting for you as always.”

Sirius bit his lip and cupped her face with his left hand. “Oh really?”

“Yes really.”

“What would you do if I said the entire Slythern house was standing behind me?”

“The same thing you would.” She bit her lip tauntingly. “I would pretend you never existed.”

He brushed her hair back with his index fingers. “You sure about that?”

“I know you would.”

The confidence in her voice saddened him. Sirius locked his eyes with hers. “Well do you know why you wait for me?”

“Why? I would love to know what to tell myself from now on.” She teased easily.

“Because you know…” He dropped his voice as his face became serious. “That’ll always come for you.”

“Un huh. Yeah right. If the whole Gryffindor house was standing right behind you. You would swear you just ran into me.”

“No I wouldn’t.”

She tipped her face to this side in disbelief. “So you’re trying to tell me that if one of your buddies saw us you would tell them that it wasn’t by accident? That you Sirius Black are friends with someone like me?”

“Well I wouldn’t exactly categorize you as a friend....” He told her as he traced her jaw line.

“Oh really? What would you call me?”

He pursed his lips. “I don’t know…my woman…my lady friend…”

“Your woman?” Her eyebrows shot up.

“Well would you prefer my girlfriend?”

Her eyes lit up but she acted indifferent. “I mean anything’s better than ‘your woman.’”









 

Sirius shot up from his bed so quickly he hit his head on his headboard. Groaning he clutched his forehead irritably and searched for her but found her nowhere in sight. Then as he looked over he saw a blonde sleeping soundly next to him. Everything came flooding back to him. His momentary lapse in memory was gone and he starred at the girl. Last night was their third date. He didn’t find anything out of the ordinary about her. She was a nice girl but lately he had been having flashbacks of a very different girl. It was inevitable. It always happened. Sitting up he ran his right hand through his hair and leaned over the edge of his bed.


 
 

She stirred in her sleep. “Sirius? You alright?”

“I’m fine…Go back to sleep Elliot.”

Her face fell and anger boiled in her eyes, “My name is Sara.”

Sirius grimaced, “Ah…”

Sara grabbed the sheets around her and frowned. “Don’t even….You don’t even remember my name…

“I didn’t-“

Just shut up.”


 

He was about to go after her but she snatched her clothes and slammed the front door of his flat shut. Swearing under his breath Sirius pulled a clean shirt from his closet and tugged it on over his head. Moving to his drawer he heaved on a pair of pants before checking his mail. There were eight letters there; James, Remus, James, Peter, Lily, James, Dumbledore, James and James, again. He read Dumbledore’s letter first. It wasn’t that much of a letter. All it said was that they would be introducing a new member at tonight’s meeting and that he shouldn’t be late. Nothing deep about that. The order got new members all the time now. Usually they were old Hogwarts classmates that he had lost touch with. This new edition would probably prove to be no different.






Going into his kitchen he put some bread in his toaster and began to make himself some breakfast. As he poured his orange juice and set down his napkin he let his mind wander. James’s letters would no doubt be about Lily and their new house -things that he would soon discover just by talking to his best friend. Sirius dropped his heavy guard as he felt the icy sting of isolation thaw him. He hadn’t even seen her in three years. Three whole years and yet her face was still perfectly figured in his mind. Her voice echoed in his head every once in awhile. It was truly infuriating. Of all the girls he had known in his twenty years of life she was the one that broke him.






Abruptly he heard a loud knock on his door. Distracted he refused to get up and get the door.
 

 



“Yeah?”

Who answers the door like that?” A female voice scoffed in response.

James laughed, “It’s me Paddy. Open up.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “Yeah.”

“See?! There he goes ag-“ Lily began but halted when Sirius swung the door open. “Again.”

“Hello Lily, Prongs.”

“Sirius.” Lily nodded with a scowl.

 

 

Sirius snorted, “What do I owe this wonderful unexpected visit?”

“Well I wanted to invite you out to lunch with us.”

“Who else will be there?”

James avoided Sirius’s stare as he scratched his neck. “Ah Remus, Dorcas, Peter, Eleanor…”

“You can’t be serious….”

“Nope that’s you.”

“Prongs I’m not going to lunch if Eleanor’s going to be there.”

Lily sent James an ‘Told-you-so,’ look before speaking. “Well the offer is still open.”

“Thanks Lily but I think I’ll pass on seeing that psycho thanks.”

“Psycho’s a bit harsh…” Lily defended her friend half heartedly.

Sirius face turned to outrage. “She followed me my entire sixth year! I had to run and hide from her!”

“Sirius-“ Lily initiated with a whine.

Sirius interrupted swiftly. “RUN AND HIDE LILY! Not avoid and advert! RUN AND HIDE!”

“You’re being rid-“

“RUN AND HIDE!” He repeated with a serious expression.

Lily scowled again. “Fine. Be mentally unstable.”

I will.” Sirius declared proudly as he grabbed his toast from the toaster and dropped it on a paper plate.









James and Lily took seats at Sirius’s kitchen table.  Sirius ignored them. He simply sat down and ate his breakfast. Shifting awkwardly Lily crossed her arms as a worried expression came on her face. Seeing this James decided to take over.


 

“Sirius?”

“Yes James?”

“We’re worried about you…”

Sirius glanced up from his orange juice thoughtfully. “Why?”

“You don’t work, you don’t have any hobbies. All you do is women and whatever work you’re assigned for the Order.” Lily piped up evenly.

“And the problem with that is?”

James frowned unhappily, “It’s unhealthy.”

“It’s disgusting.” Lily agreed.

“How is it ‘disgusting’?” Sirius countered with raised eyebrows before taking another bite out of his toast.

Lily exhaled dramatically.“Because you are refusing to allow yourself to be happy.”

“No I’m not! You two are just paranoid.”

“Oh really?” She fired back stubbornly. “You really don’t see how we could be worried when you have nothing stable going on in your life?”

“Um yeah I do.”

“Like what?”

He furrowed his eyebrows wistfully. “Ah I’ve been friends with James for nine years you call that unstable?”

“No but he doesn’t count. I’m talking about having a career or a steady girlfriend or something that’s constant besides your best friends. Everyone has best friends but you don’t have anything else going for you!”

Ouch Lily…that was…” Sirius fumbled around for the right word.

James picked a word for him. “Truthful?”

Sirius feigned a painfully shot through his heart. “Prongs…That hurt.” He then pretended to shed tears. “And here I thought you loved me!”

“Sirius you’re a moron!” Lily exclaimed furiously. “Here we are trying to help you and you can’t even take your head out of your ass long enough to listen to what we are saying!”

“I am listening Lily.” Sirius told her as if she was five. “I just don’t agree with what you are say-ing.”

She flipped her hair over her shoulder dismissively. “Well that’s because you’re in denial!”

“Look Paddy.” James smiled fakely, “We aren’t saying make Eleanor your girlfriend. We aren’t even saying get a job! We are just saying-“

“GET SOMETHING TO LIVE FOR! GET SOMETHING TO DO WITH YOURSELF!” Lily exploded loudly.

James starred at his wife in alarm before going back to Sirius. “She’s crazy…but she’s right.”

“I'll think about it.” He shot Lily a wary look. “Alright?”

Lily took a deep breath, adjusted her jacket and stood up. “You better do more than think about it. If I see you with another slutty blonde I will lose my mind! Don’t you even know any brunettes?!”

“No.” Sirius lied with a smirk.

James shook his head and opened Sirius’s front door. “We should get going.”

“Yeah…” Lily fixed her jaw before walking over and seizing the collar of Sirius shirt. “Look Sirius I love you and because I know that you are a good person and deserve better I am going to keep bothering you about this. So get your head out of your ass and straighten up your life!” She released him and stood next to her husband. “Now… Don’t make me come back here.”

Sirius set his face neutral before saluting her. “Yes mam!”

James gave Sirius a dirty look before slowly closing the door. “Why do you have to antagonize her?”

“Because I can.”



 
 

James shut his door all the way. Laughing to himself Sirius finished his breakfast now in peace and tried to ignore what Lily had said. It didn’t faze him at first. He just went on with his day like he always did. An hour later he went and hung around Diagon Alley. On the errands he got a fresh edition of the Daily Prophet, a cup of coffee, went and got some new dress robes and went to go work out. Though he already had muscles naturally Sirius liked to stay in shape. Peter was his example for exactly why he should stay fit. There he was twenty years old and unable to run for more than five minutes straight. The thought of being caught by Death Eaters because of something stupid like that sickened Sirius to his core.  Plus running helped him think clearier. Lifting weights on the other hand was just something he did to do. Running was more therapeutic than that.

 
 



When he got home to take a shower he saw an urgent Owl waiting for him. Taken aback he ripped it open. Fear trickled down his spine as he instantly recognized Remus’s large looped handwriting.


 

--Sirius—

Come to James’s quick. They took Lily.

--Remus—











Without wasting anytime Sirius changed his clothes and went right over. Remus was waiting for him at the front door. He looked like he’d been hit by the Knight Bus. This sent a wave of panic into Sirius’s already accelerated blood stream.  Rushing inside he locked the door and chose to talk to Remus first.

 
 

“What’s the situation?”

“We were just sitting in the three broomsticks having lunch, twenty or so Death Eaters showed up.” Remus reported in a grave tone.

Sirius sulked, “Any causalities?”

“No.” Remus sighed. “They were after prisoners. They took Dorcas and Peter too.”

“Merlin. It’s all bad…Where’s James?”

“Living room.”



 

Patting Remus on the back Sirius moved on through the house to find James. The second his grey eyes took hold of James’s figure he half wished he didn’t find him. His best friend was just… gone. All that was left was this pathetic shell of a man. Any confidence Sirius had that he could talk James into staying calm was shot to hell. One glance at his face told Sirius that. Leaning his back against the wall behind him Sirius took a long breath and tried to locate the words that would heal his best friend. In the span of ten minutes he began to realize that the reason he was having such trouble was because there were no set words for this. So Sirius opted to just sitting next to him. James didn’t look up, he knew he was there.
 


 

For two hours they sat there. Neither moving. Neither speaking. The images going through James’s head were enough to keep him quiet. With his parent’s deaths to remember he was more than terrified that he would have to bury his wife as well. James’s posture was stiff. His body was tilted downward and his eyes were glued to the carpet before him. Sirius felt nothing but guilt. If he had been at the stupid luncheon…. If he had just sucked it up and gone maybe he could have saved James the agony he felt now.  Glaring at the crackling fire Sirius became more and more livid with himself. Lily was like his little sister and where was he when she needed his help? Remus came in and glanced unsurely at the pair. He wisely chose to remain quiet. The three of them sat on James’s couch for a long time before Emmeline Vance came in.

 
 



“There’s an Order meeting guys…”

Sirius nodded at her before sharing a look with Remus about James. Remus stood. “They’re staying. I’ll go.”

Emmeline looked unsure. “Ah Dumbledore asked for everyone…”

“I can tell them what is said at the meeting.” Remus reassured her.

“Okay…” She gave James a saddened look. “I’m sorry James.”

 


He jerked his head up ever so slightly in recognition before going back to his isolated state. Sirius rose and walked Emmeline to the door.

 
 

“Is he going to be alright?”

Sirius shrugged, “If she’s not he’s not.”

“Well I hope she is…For both their sakes.” She smiled bitterly before hugging him.

“Me too. Thanks Em.”

“Anytime Black.”









 

The rest of the night Sirius stayed dutifully at his best friends side. Remus eventually returned and informed them that they staged a mission and found Peter and Dorcas. When Sirius wordlessly asked about Lily Remus shook his head with a heavy heart. The three of them stayed up all night. None of them said a thing until breakfast.

 



“I’m going to make some breakfast. We need to eat to stay awake.”

Sirius waited with James until Remus was done cooking. James turned to Sirius suddenly. “I keep going over in my head….Things I could have done.”

“You can’t think like that mate.” Sirius told him sternly even though he was doing the exact same thing.  He grabbed his shoulder firmly. “Lily’s a fighter. She’ll pull through.”

“You’re right. I just can’t help thinking of what could happen.”

“I know.”

James gave him a hard glare. “No Sirius. You really don’t.”

“Hey I’m worried about Lily too-“

“But you don’t love her like I do…You’ve never dared to love anybody that much…” James muttered under his breath depressedly.

Sirius’s jaw flattened. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Really? I don’t? I’m your best friend Sirius. I don’t remember you ever so much as keeping a girlfriend for more than a week.”

“Well …You don’t know everything.” Sirius implied darkly as a shadow passed over his face.

James snorted deliberately. “I know enough.”

“Come on guys!” Remus called loudly from the kitchen.

Sirius gave James a sincere look. “I will do everything I can to help.”

I know…” A flash of regret flooded through his sharp hazel eyes. “Sorry Paddy.” He groaned and rubbed his eyes. “I shouldn’t have said-“

No worries mate.” Sirius smiled forgivingly. “Now come on. let’s get some grub before Remus transforms into a woman.”

“Wouldn’t be much of a stretch.” James joked back weakly.

 
 



Remus set down plates for each of them and sat down with his own. Sirius checked his watch and swore. “I will be right back. I have to let the painters in.”

“Hurry up. Benji , Dorcas, Peter and Caradoc will be over soon.”

“I’ll be just a second.”








 

Moving at warped speed he apparated back to his flat, opened the door, left a note and checked his messages before returning back to James’s house. Everyone Remus mentioned would be there was. Remus was in his element. He cooked food for all of them and after cleaned up the dishes with Dorcas and Benji. Sirius himself was beginning to lose steam. Even with the food now nestled contently in his stomach he needed a jolt of energy. While everyone was reconvening in the living room Sirius made himself some coffee and went upstairs to wash his face. On his way back downstairs he heard James shouting his wife’s name. At first Sirius was alarmed but when he saw her standing there, trapped in James’s death grip, he realized that she was back.

 



 

Then, Sirius froze. His heart felt like it was fire as he recognized the girl Lily and James was talking to. ‘It can’t be her…It can’t be her,’ He thought to himself as his face flushed bright red. Then he heard her speak and he knew it was. Agony was his. In the years that had passed he knew eventually he would hear her distinctive brisk voice again. His gut wished for nothing more for her to turn around. His pride on the other hand wished her nothing more than the true raw torture he was experiencing now. Sirius didn’t get a chance to express these emotions to her however because the minute he stepped forward to do so she apparated away. Breathing unevenly Sirius went over to Lily.




 

“What happened?” He demanded in harsh tone.

“That Auror saved me.” Lily responded in bewilderment.

Sirius starred at her in confusion. “That what?”

“Sweetheart?” James questioned Lily gently. “How do you know she’s a Auror?”

“I saw the badge sticking out of her pocket.”

“She could have-“

Lily held up her hand to cut off his speech. “It had her name on it.”

James’s eyes widened. “Really?”

“Yeah…She gave me medicine and stopped my bleeding-“

“BLEEDING?!” James yelled in panic searching his wife for the blood. “Where?!”

She grabbed his face. “She-stopped-the-bleeding-and-gave-me-medicine.”

“So...You’re okay?”

“Just a little dizzy.”

“Well come on. Let’s sit you down.”

 

 

Sirius watched James escort Lily upstairs. He now noticed the others lingering in the doorway. Dorcas gave Sirius an odd look. “Black you okay?”

“…Why?”

Peter raised his eyebrows. “Because you look like you were just run over.”

“I’m…” Sirius cleared his throat, “Fine.”

“Well come on mate. We all are clearing out now to let James be alone with Lily.” Peter told him slowly, putting his arm around him.

“Yeah…”

“You sure you’re alright?”

Sirius adverted his gaze awkwardly. “Never been better.”








Author Notes:


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