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LOVE & BROOMSTICKS by StepUpx_Gryffindor

Format: Novel
Chapters: 35
Word Count: 216,870
Status: WIP

Rating: Mature
Warnings: Strong Language, Mild Violence, Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Substance Use or Abuse, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme

Genres: Humor, Romance, Young Adult
Characters: Lupin, Sirius, F. Longbottom, Lily, James, Pettigrew, OC
Pairings: James/Lily, Sirius/OC, Other Pairing

First Published: 07/23/2006
Last Chapter: 03/09/2015
Last Updated: 03/09/2015


You know what I hate? Having James Potter as your playmate as a child, & then having him turn into an egotistical pig as soon as we both set foot in Hogwarts. All the jokes, teasing, cat-calling... I can't stand it! I can't stand him. James Potter may have that devlishly handsome grin going for him, but I'm not falling for it! I've survived him for 5 years & I'm sure I can make it through my Sixth Year without him... I think?

Chapter 22: Here With Me

Author's Note: BEFORE YOU READ!!

I'd like to say that this chapter is basically False Accusations, take two. All the POVs belong to Frank and James; the boys in my fic (the personal favorite boys in my fic ;D). Enjoy! Sorry for the long wait. I've been so busy. And sometimes the story wouldn't paste in the chapter text box correctly... oh, what the crap.

Anywho, gets ta readin'. NOW!

_Lunch Time In The Room Of Requirement_

I tell you, ugh.

It’s difficult, trying not to think about it; hell, I’ve isolated myself from the school in which I attend, just to avoid it. But I can’t. As I stare at these blue walls, I see nothing but her face.

Ugh. I’ve turned into such a knob. 

I never understood where she ran off to after we kissed, when Remus opened that door. I didn’t understand what went on the whole time even before that, but it was the most thrilling experience of my life so far. I had kissed her, like in a freaking Hispanic soap opera, in Moony’s gran’s basement. I felt like I was James Bond.

My mind was fuzzy through all the making out (I was there, obviously, enjoying every minute of it). It was like my mind was speeding through a freight train. There had to have been something that caused Lily and me to do what we did. Not that I’m objecting. It was odd, though; she smelled so enticing when she put on that perfume. I have yet to hear from Moony about that. He stopped in after the first class of the day and told me he’d come back around lunch time after he did some research.

Truthfully, I never thought I’d have liked Lily Evans more than I already did.

But for Lily to run away like that… was it shame? Shame that she lost control with someone in the Room of Requirement? Or shame that she actually kissed James Potter? I wonder if she found it revolting. Was she nervous, scared, violated of her senses? Was I that horrible of a kisser to her, honestly!? It’s not like people have complained before…

I though it was great, bloody fantastic, memorable. It had meaning, you know? Or at least I thought it did. This was exactly my problem. How many Hogwarts guys have mentioned meaningful random snogs to their mates?


So of course I didn’t completely blab to Moony about how I felt about it and what had happened during it all. If I told my mates that this kiss was everything, they’d have a field day. Well, Wormtail and Moony would be nice about it, try to be understanding and try not to pester me. But that would just make things worse. And Padfoot would laugh in my face, regardless.

This was my dilemma. I mean, what was a guy to do? Go around, trying to describe the most indescribable kiss of his life? The boys’ in my dorm would probably ask me where I hid my tampons all these years.

I’m James Potter, damn it! And if I have to keep the sappy thoughts to myself to maintain my masculinity and my reputation with my mates, so be it.

I will not be subject to ridicule – which is why I am preventing myself from turning into a morning talk show host on women’s cable. How, you ask? By hiding in here all day.

Fuck classes. I have my teenage years to worry about.

I thought up my bedroom after Lily left me like that. It would have felt weird to walk back to my dorm and fall asleep in my bed like nothing happened. I’ve basically been skipping school today in my bedroom. I’m too afraid to see her face, if I run into her. I’m too afraid of what will slip out of my mouth about her, while I’m with my friends.

The only person that knows about how shit faced I actually am is Longbottom.

I realized a long time ago how truly in love I was with Lily Evans. For a while, it scared the shit out of me. And that scary-ness hasn’t really left, but my body has slowly adjusted to it. I also realized a long time ago that there was nothing I could do about it.

You could call it unrequited love- but let’s cut the bullshit with a knife.

First blade to my heart: there’s nothing I can do to magically make Lily fall in love with me. All these years, I tried to get her in every way possible…and nothing worked.

Second blade to my heart: I think I probably had loved her for all these years, but never noticed until this year; the morning after the party.

Third blade to my heart: I finally kissed her… after years of wondering what it would be like… It was the best snog ever. Dare I say it, it changed me. Almost as if it’s pushed me and made affirmative of my love for the quirky redhead. And of course, that just sets me off in depression mode yet again.

Fourth blade to my heart: I don’t know If I can handle, or have enough strength, to come out of the Room of Requirement any time soon; Professor Dumbledore might send McGonagall down here and beat me with a stick and make sure I taste the splinters off of it. I can’t leave my safe haven. I’m afraid I’ll fall to pieces if I leave my ‘bedroom’. It was the one place I always used to go to when I wanted time to myself when I wasn’t at Hogwarts.

Fifth blade to my heart: I have to deal with the fact that the woman of my dreams kissed my mortal enemy, Amos Diggory.


Not only that, but the A-hole himself tried to start something with me the other day. Double ugh.

I wish Diggory could fall down the stairs and stumble though the doors, out to the Forbidden Forest and get trampled by blasted wombats with an army of centaurs and fall to a pit of crap on the Quidditch Pitch, and out of no where… a hippogriff could come flying and take a shit, and have the humungous dung land right on him.

Yes. Yes, I do.

Diggory had the nerve to challenge me to some sort of dating shindig for the first Hogsmeade trip of the year. He talked about Lily as if she was a prize. He wanted to make a bet of some sort… but I just walked away from him so I didn’t hear everything else he had to say.

But either way, WTF. I was so close to going Rocky Balboa on his arse. I punched him and beat him once, I can do it again. Diggory had the balls to come up to me, to try and start a bet to gain his reputation back with his friend. And all of this had to revolve around Hogsmeade.

Little did he know, I wasn’t allowed to go to Hogsmeade- but I kept my mouth shut.

A couple weeks ago, I’m not sure when exactly, but Diggory and Lily had a fall out; Remus told me about it in the Great Hall. He blamed Lily for his prick/playboy tendencies, in the middle of the corridor. First, I’d just like to say that even though Lily didn’t trust me enough to listen to me and NOT go out with Diggory, the biggest git on planet Earth, it didn’t make her responsible for what happened. Diggory took advantage of girls all the time, but the girls always let him have his way; he was popular and his ego was through the roof. When Lily didn’t know what was going on, he was angry that he had finally gotten rejected. He was stupid enough to think that Lily was like those other girls. Get’s me barking mad whenever I think about it. Second, It was my fault for taking it so far. I unleashed a demon within me on Diggory that I didn’t even know I had, in that common room that night. It scared me. And it sure as hell shook everyone else at the party.

I had to back away from Lily after that, those days…weeks…that passed after the party. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I was going through a plethora of feelings, and I couldn’t explain even to myself how I charged at Amos Diggory like that, besides the obvious. It’s like I had punched the lights out of him and every punch he got came from every emotion I couldn’t show about Lily. I just lost it.

And that’s when I started to self pity myself enough to crawl to Frank Longbottom.

There were times when I was acting normal again… but then I had a relapse. It was like I was going back and forth from how fast I wanted to move on, and how long I could deny the truth. Remus could see it, I could tell. He didn’t say anything about it, but poor Moony did nothing but ask questions because he didn’t know how to make everything right again. And that’s how he is – hand him a puzzle and he’ll do whatever he can to find the pieces in time.


…In time.

I’m not sure when I truly realized that I loved Lily, but when it came to the point where I felt disgusting and my heart was in pain whenever somebody spoke her name, I couldn’t hide from the truth anymore. And that was the day after the party. That morning, I couldn’t look at my face in the mirror anymore. The only good thing that came from that morning was the news Padfoot told me about.

He had kept his promise to me, and took care of Lily.

And then Sirius said she had ‘inhaled’ my linens, and I was so intent on taking another nap in my bed, having the scent of her on my pillow, that I was late for breakfast. I couldn’t help it. That was as close to her I thought I’d ever be.

Well, I guess we can cross that one off now that I’ve snogged her.

I can even remember how good I slept just next to her on that polyester couch, that night in the common room. It was where we fell asleep. I was snuggling with her on the sofa.

It was great!

Even though I didn’t wake up to see her face because Sirius had taken her up, I knew even without having to see her, that something had changed between us. Or at least how I saw her.

And I saw her through the eyes of someone who was in love.

And it fucking sucks, lemme tell you. I’ve never really gone through this before, so I don’t know how to get to the finish line and be done with it. I’m used to accepting things and moving on. I’m the King of Moving On. Go ahead, ask anyone I’ve dated.

But with Lily, it is so different. It’s not just something I can shake off. In fact, it hurts just thinking about TRYING to shake it off.

Oh, Merlin. I’ve turning into a puddle of man-feelings.

That’s just bloody fantastic.

I’m a ‘coming to terms’ kinda guy. I’m understanding, I accept things as they are, and I’m comforting. I don’t know how it all became so wrong, because if I can comfort others, I can most certainly comfort myself. But the reality is… I’m finding it hard to comfort myself at the moment; I don’t know how to fix it. Well, fix my…Problem? If you would call it that.

I want so much to do the teenage girl thing and eat my feelings. How about some biscuits? Biscuits with jelly and some hot chamomile and chocolate dipped ringos, the way mama used to make them?

Oh, what the hell. I might just be on my period. Honestly, chamomile? What’s gotten into me?

Grabbing my WQ magazine off my nightstand, I go over to my small couch and take a seat. I start to read from where I left off, right when Remus had barged in on me this morning. When he was talking to me about his supposed theories, and interrogating me about what we messed with in the basement, it got me thinking. And that’s why I had been staring at my wall like an idiot until now.

I conjure up my food and take off my school robes so I’m just in a white tee and slacks. I kick off my shoes and stretch out my toes, while admiring my alligator socks. I do love my alligator socks. If I move my big toe from side to side, the alligator’s head moves back and forth. It’s hypnotic.

I remember doing the same thing, admiring my socks while reading WQ, when Remus came in some time after first period- and he freaked. I was putting on my beloved socks and I wanted to through a brick at his head. But since it’s lunch time now, he’s most likely going to check up on me. That’s just the way he rolls.

Knock, knock.

Ah, he’s here already.
I get up and unlock the door.

_Lunch Time In The Great Hall_ 

She’s a down right wanker, Finelly is.

First she insults my Potions partner and then she threatens to use me as a punching bag the next time I tell her to shut up. She was the one who kept complaining! I told her to shut her gob, so what? Miss Jessica Finelly needs to realize that she’s a pestering annoyance and is as much of an arse to me as I am to her.

She’s sitting a few meters from me, and it’s driving me nuts. I want to go over there and pull those brown locks out of her hair. But that would be strange, even for me, to go up to her in front of everyone. Actually, I wouldn’t mind it – but people think they know me, even though they don’t, and it might shock them to some extend if I did that, and I don’t need any rumors flying around.

Tis true – I, Frank Longbottom, have no label.

I was always the different one. It started since I was a young child, really. All the children in the play ground wanted to play in the sand box and go down the slides. And there I was, on the swing, trying to help the kids with their problems. A lot of them would get in trouble because they’re moms and dads would yell at them for eating the paste or breaking the crayons, and they needed somebody to talk to. I gave them my foolproof list of tips to avoid ever getting in trouble. Of course, I was a greedy bastard so I charged a lollipop a visit.

I’m different, so be it. I think differently, see things from other perspectives, and through all of my mess of a life, there’s still some loyalty and bravery left over to still keep me in Gryffindor. My dad was strict about me coming here, to Hogwarts. He’s such a nag.

All he’d do was tell me how to behave; in other words, he couldn’t understand me, so I was to act like all the other ‘normal’ kids. Boy, would he be disappointed when I’d come back for summer vacation still the same ol’ Frank Longbottom. There are times where I can’t blame him, sure. I mean, he doesn’t get his son. I once recited a poem from William Wordsworth as reply to a question.

He asked me what I wanted for dinner.

That being said, I’m a freako. And I embrace it. I don’t want to be like everyone else. There’s nothing wrong with not being understood. It’s the ‘being misunderstood’ part that I need to worry about.

See, everyone has their own depiction of me. Some think I’m an ungrateful slob who doesn’t know how to tuck his knickers in his pants (as if I care about how neat I dress), and some think I’m their type of therapist. I’d rather not be referred to as a shrink, thanks. I don’t help people with mental disabilities. I just help out those certain teens that just don’t know what to do and look for advice. Meeting up with clients, or ‘friends’ as I like to call them… gives me something to do. I’ve never thought twice about it, because it always came natural to me. I don’t judge and I don’t stereotype. There’s enough of that in the world already to go around, I don’t need to use it against anyone else.

I’m they’re go-to guy; there’s not problem that I can’t fix. This year, everything was fine. Dandy. Silky. Happy. Cotton-soft. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

And then that fateful day… I decided to help out James Potter. That’s when everything flipped upside down. James Potter’s problem led me to a journey to meet people I didn’t think I’d ever get to know.

I’m not the type of guy to sulk, or show my feelings, but Lily was one of the best people I had ever gotten to known here. And I’ve gotten to know a lot of people… or at least, gotten to know a lot about the people. It was weird for me, the first time Lily called me a friend, or referred to us having any type of friendship. I thought of myself as a loner for years, and to be honest, it didn’t bother me. But when I met her, and her stupid little brunette friend, I finally found out what I was missing out on.

Speaking of Lily, she’s just gotten up hastily and is following someone I can’t see out of the Great Hall in a rush. If she doesn’t come back, I’ll have to get up and make sure she’s okay…

I was always afraid of having friends like Lily. I had thought up this regime in my head of how my life was to be panned out. And I told myself that all friends really do is just complicate things. And with the type of job I had, I didn’t want any ties. They bring down-sides to secrets and they break trust. I can’t trust anyone.

And I don’t think I will for a while. If I can even recover like a human being.

You could say that my bitch of a mother had done that, destroyed that little part of me, but I won’t give her that satisfaction.

I sit here today, at lunch, by myself and just think about how I got here.

How did I really? I put myself in a position where I finally spilled to someone about a client. I shouldn’t have told Lily that James was in love with her. But something in my heart told me I had to. And don’t give me that bullshit about me having a sensitive side.

So you can shut up about that, thanks.

That’s what I was afraid of, blabbing someone’s secret. One of the many reasons why I didn’t want any friendships in the first place. Although, I do think it’s worth it. If there’s a little part of me that can change the lives of two people… then I’ll have to submit to that part of myself and deal with the consequences. Sure, I helped people when they cheated on their boyfriends and didn’t know what to do, or if they had thought they caught some sort of lice from a nerdy student in Slytherin. But now was my chance to actually make a life-altering decision. I had to do it. For Lily and for James. I know that James won’t like it. In fact, he might never speak to me again. But if that makes the two somehow realize, in the future, that they’re meant for each other, so be it. I’ve had to endure a lot my six years here, and I’ve grown up into someone I can’t really be proud of. Part of me feels accomplished with being reliable to students, but another part of me, a part of me that reminds me of my father, is telling me that I need to grow up, and make friends of my own.

And I don’t want to.

I don’t want to rely on people like people rely on me. It doesn’t match up, to me. Friends are like equations, they balance each other out. Unlike the popular ‘frenemies’ in girl world- in that case, if a Slytherin takes the other Slytherin’s boyfriend, they cancel out. Lily’s made me try to stay committed to fully being there for a person. I would consider her the sister I’ve never had.

I know that I can’t open myself up too easily like Lily can, even though she won’t admit that. She and I share that quality. There’s so much going through our heads that no one knows about, but yet people think they’ve figured us out. I was there for her that night when I let her binge drink so she could let her feelings out. Be one with herself. Sometimes you just have to get shit-faced to find out what kind of person you really are and what you think of your life.

You can quote me on that.

I sometimes think that I never made friends on purpose, because I was incompetent. Could it be true? Could me being incompetent be the reason why I have trust issues and can’t have mates? I used to think I could be there for other people, but maybe that was just my way from staying away from people. It’s true that I don’t like ties on people. My mother showed me you can’t even trust your own blood, so how was I to trust anyone? I believe that what I’m doing somehow compiles to doing the right thing, and it all goes for the greater good – but I can’t help but think that I don’t like who I’ve become.

I finish off my piece of chicken and take a swig of pumpkin juice. Out of the corner of my eye I see Amos Diggory getting up from his seat and following the same direction Lily Evan’s has just walked out from. I do not like this.

I’m going to finish what little bit of food I have left, and then I’ll follow Diggory.

_Lunch Time In The Room Of Requirement_ 

Holy shit.
Lily and I wanted to make out with each other!
I mean, I knew I wanted to make out with her, but bloody!

That perfume… it made us realize that we wanted to- ?

“Yeah,” Moony says, standing up, “That’s about it. All you need to know about the perfume. The only thing you need to figure out is why Lily ran off like she did.”

“And you’re saying that if I leave the Room of Requirement right now, Lily will be waiting for me in a hallway to talk about a whole bunch of crap?”


I think for a second and come to an understanding.

“I’m not getting up,” I say simply, falling back on the couch again.

“Don’t be an arse!” He tells me.

Hah, as if I’m the one who locked two people in a basement.

“I’m not being an arse. I’m not ready to see her and deal with her bitching me out about our problems as a non-couple. I can’t deal with that.”

“She isn’t going to ‘bitch you out’,” he air quotes. Hey, that’s Lily’s thing! And he better toss out this attitude. I hate it when he goes into Father mode. It ticks me off. Maybe he needs reminding that I’m not his little boy who needs to be taken care of. I can take care of myself!

“From brother to brother, try to understand how I want so much to crawl under my bed with Mr. Blanky and eventually turn into a hobo more than I want to talk to Lily Evans at the moment.”

“From brother to brother, I gotta say – you’re acting like a dickwad.”

“That’s absurd,” I defend.

“You’re absurd.”

“Yo mama’s absurd.” Oh, burn!

The point is, you’re skipping school and lounging for some stupid reason.”

I conjure up a bottle of butterbeer and firewhiskey. Remus gives me a worried look as I hand him the butter beer.

“It’s not a stupid reason. I just can’t face Lily at the moment.”

“And when will this moment pass, Prongs? When you grow an Amish beard and you’re 30th birthday comes around? You have no intention of actually getting over this. I can’t leave you here for the next fourteen years. You’re a teenager, damn it. Live your life, James. I thought you’d man up by now. You seemed so set on going about the day this morning when I found you, but you’ve locked yourself away and ditched all your classes. You’re a prefect, you know!”

I use the bottom of my shirt and pop open the firewhiskey bottle. Prefect duties can suck it vacuum style, because I need some boos.

“What are you doing?” Remus asks, but he’s saying it in that smart arse way that means he knows what you’re doing but asks you anyway because he likes busting your chops.

“I am going to engage in drowning myself in firewhiskey, if you don’t mind.”

“Great. That’s fantastic. Perfect. Drown your sorrows away, why don’t you. You belong on Dr.Phil. You make me sick.”

“Remus, has your family been watching reality TV again?”

He shudders. “Just my grandmother.”

“She seems like a great gal, by the way,” I mention, trying to get things off topic.

“Don’t ignore me, Prongs. You’re turning into a drunk.”

“I am not! I haven’t even drunk anything yet.”

I tilt my head back and take a big gulp of the firewhiskey.

“Alright, NOW you can call me a drunk.”

“It’s not even past noon!” He takes the bottle away from me, and I try to lick his hand away.

“James. Stop that.”


“Stop trying to lick me!”

“I am the mighty Giant Squid of the Sea!” I pretend I have claws, and start to growl.

“That’s enough alcohol for you.”

Remus is too quick for me and accio’s the bottle. I take a nose dive to the ground in my attempt to grab it back.

“Argh,” I mumble from the ground.

“Sorry, what’s that?” Remus annoying asks.

“You’re a wanker, that’s what.”

“Takes one to know one,” he slyly replies.

Ew, Remus Lupin has attitude.

“Get up.”

“I don’t want to, Moony, just leave me alone. Let me die here and rot in the black abyss that is my life.”

“How about the fantastic opportunity to talk to Lily once and for all, that is your life?”

“How about I haven’t shaved and I feel like I’m growing shrubbery on my face, that is my life?”

Remus throws his hands in the air and gives a girlish scream. I laugh uncontrollably at his poof-ness while he yells at me.

“Get your arse up, Prongs! I locked you in here before; I dragged you in with enough strength – I can drag you out, too!” He counters.

Oh, frogs. I hate it when he thinks rationally. If I’m going to get up and make an epic failure of my life by talking to Lily, I might as well have some fun at Moony’s expense.

“Oh, fine. What ever you say… Oprah.

Remus looks insulted. “It’s Dr. Phil!

_Lunch Time In The Great Hall_ 

Lily hasn’t returned yet.
Remus isn’t at lunch.
And most important of all…Diggory’s no where to be seen.
I hastily get up and try not to get too nervous.

But of course my mind is going to make it much worse than it already is. I always do that. God only knows what the worst case scenario can be…

I make my way down the hallway but someone jumps out from a door.

“Hey, Frank?” I’m almost assaulted by a Seventh Year Ravenclaw.

“Amy, hey,” I say out of surprise. I step back a few feet. Amy has a groping problem.

“I think my symptoms are coming back again,” Amy starts. Then she begins to tell me a tale of how some Third Year in her common room went about the fireplace to add more wood and he bent over right in front of her and, “I just couldn’t help myself!”

I furrow my eyebrows and purse my lips, trying to get rid of the disgusting mental image.

“Er, I’m sorry, Amy, but I can’t talk right now…”

“What?! NO! I need you’re help! I think it’s spreading, and I might not be able to hold myself. It’s bad enough that I can’t stop grabbing guys in Ravenclaw all over the place… But I think my problem is affecting my professors!” She starts sobbing. “I slapped Professor Dumbledore’s arse!”

Christ, I can’t deal with this right now.

“I’m really sorry –”

“No, just go. I see you’re busy. I’ll just have to stay here. By myself. With my hands open wide…”

“That’s great, we can talk tomorrow,” I say quickly, going in the opposite direction. I wave her off and she mumbles to herself but I ignore her.

Amy is… a troubled teenage girl.

She always gets pissy like this, so I’ll let her get over the fact that I can’t talk right now. See, Amy gave me a piece of paper with her cycles of the month. Trust me, I did not want info about her menstrual cycle, but she insisted on giving it to me and told me to ignore her when she was PMSing. Today would be one of those days.

Ah, one of those days…
The meaning itself makes one think of flashbacks. Good days that you grow up with. Memorable moments that you want to relive over and over again.

What a pity.

Now that I think about it, I don’t have a ‘one of those days’ in my system. There’s never a day I really remember. Or want to remember. Why do I want to remember the people in my life that just pass me by? It’s funny, because I now want to have one of those days for myself. I’m not normal, sure. But I’m not going to pretend I’m someone I’m not. And I’ll be damned if the people I somehow care about in my life get pissed on by nimwads like Amos Diggory. I was right. He did follow Lily. Because I’m a couple feet away now, and I can see Diggory getting closer to Lily. From this distance…I know who I want to be.

I want to be Lily’s friend.

“Let me explain something to you, bitch-”

“Let me explain something to you, Diggory.”

“Frank!” Lily gasps and gives me a hug. It feels good to do something right. To help someone, and I mean really help them. Because this time I feel like I’m actually putting my all into it.

“Hey, Lily,” I greet.

“You might want to leave before something starts,” I snap.

“I’ll leave when I wanna leave,” says the blonde prick.

“You’ll leave when I say you will.” I let go of Lily in one fluid motion. “Because if you start something here and now, you might just realize how much you can’t take.”

“That would be the manly thing to do, wouldn’t it, Lily?” He sneers at Lily. I grab him by the collar, ready to punch the oblivion out of him.

“Maybe you didn’t hear me. Clean the dirty lies from your ears and open them wide because I won’t repeat myself. Do not talk to Lily, do not speak her name. Best not run into her like you did today, or you’ll be lacking in the manhood department more than you already are-”

“Why don’t you find yours before you talk about mine, Longbottom.”

How hilarious. This boy needs to be taught a lesson.

“Don’t be insecure, Diggory. You’ll find yours some day. Here’s a hint: Look between your legs. It’s like a penis, only smaller.”

Diggory and I bump shoulders; all the mean while in the background I can hear Lily’s whispers but I’m so zoned out on making Diggory leave Lily alone that I don’t even hear her. And I don’t think Diggory can hear her, either.

“You Gryffindor losers think you’re hot shit, don’t you? Let me tell you what, baby boy. You stay away from my business.”

“Lily is my business.”

“Oh, so Potter’s sharing now?”

You know what? I have a label for Diggory, since he’s such a tool. He said this just now, just so he could upset Lily. I snap his wand in a heartbeat and back him up against the wall.

“Frank. Let him go.”

Scum. Scum is what he is.


“Frank. He’s not worth it.”

Agreeing with Lily, I let go of him. I don’t want to make her upset. I just want to protect her. Protect her the way I could have protected my sister… If she had the choice to live. 

Amos Diggory turns to us and smugly says, “This isn’t over yet. I’ll be right back, you watch.” He walks close to Lily (closer than I would have wanted) and mumbles, “I know you still like me. And you can’t prove me wrong.” He stalks off without a word.

In a blur, I blab to Lily about forgetting about Diggory. I tell her whatever pops up in my mind first. In the distance, I can see Jessica Finelly walking towards us. I can’t focus, though, because I’m too busy talking nervous nonsense to Lily, trying to make sure she’s okay. I don’t think I’ve ever done that…defended someone’s honor. Hell, defended someone’s honor without a wand!

But even Lily seems to feel blurry. Her eyes… she’s thinking. I know this face. She’s talking to herself, trying to fix something. So I keep talking. In a couple seconds, she’ll come back to me.

“He’s an arse, Lily. And I’m sorry Diggory had to come here and assault you like he did. He has no right, the pompous jerk...”

“Can you- can you do something for me?” Lily asks me hesitantly.

“Are you alright?” I ask.

“I’m fine. Really. Thank you for…that. Diggory’s gone, but he was the least of my worries. I have some stuff to clear out and I need you to go distract Jessica.”

Woah, hold on! This is not what I was expecting her to think about. I thought she’d have other thoughts… say… about her other problems, about her emotions towards an individual, ABOUT JAMES. The marauder that’s a total wreck without her, damn it.

“What?” I look around for some sort of sign, telling me she isn’t asking me to do what I think she’s asking me to do. If she mentions Finelly-

“Go over there and persuade her to leave, or to not meet me at the moment. I have too much to handle right now and Jess will explode if she hears what’s just happened with Diggory. So please… just… postpone her for me. I can’t talk to her right now.”


“…Okay,” I respond. It can’t be that hard, right? What ever I can do to make Lily’s life a bit easier, I’ll do it. I turn to leave but not without giving her a smile and saying, “You owe me.”

She smiles back at me and pushes me forward. “Go.”

Walking down the hallway, my vision gets less and less blurry with the oncoming image of one Jessica Finelly, pain-in-the-arse-extraordinaire. The pain in the arse that I have to stall so she doesn’t bulldoze into Lily’s life at the moment. Postpone her, she says? I’ll turn her request into an understatement.

As soon as she walks up to me - SHE’S WEARING RED LIPSTICK.

“Finelly,” I kind of choke out. I give her a fake smile so she doesn’t get tipped off by my brain convulsions.

I love red.
Red lipstick… looks good on her.

“Longbottom,” Finelly says boringly. “Where’s Lily off to?” I respond with my arm blocking her exit. I know how she works; she isn’t going to move away from me.

“Don’t worry about her.”

Pfft. No… red lipstick looks good on brunettes. Yes, brunettes in general. Not just Jessica Finelly.


“I don’t think so.”

“Move your damn arm. Before I break it off.”

“Let’s have a chat like civilized adults, shall we? Come with me for a moment.”

And bring your red lips with you- NO! What the shit?!

“Don’t push it, Dungbottom. I’m busy. Chat up some other chick.”

Okay, now I’m pissed. “If I want to chat you up, I’ll chat you up. Understood?”

“Now isn’t the time. Don’t be an arse about it,” she tells me. Do I sense softness in her tone?

“It’s not a choice,” I retort.

I look her in the eyes for the first time in a while. And for some reason, I want to get her in an abandoned classroom.

Not for that, you hormonal teenager! To get her away from this setting… she has a short attention span. She can change her attitude in a second flat. I need to get her out of here so I can piss her off and argue with her.

And she’s wearing red lipstick.

I mentally smack myself.
What the hell does that have to do with anything?
Maybe that was just a brain fart.

Without looking back, I take her wrists and pull her into a vacant room. The dust is thick and it takes Finelly a moment to realize what I’ve just done. I’m an expert when it comes to ‘acting in the moment’. She’s probably thinking how the hell I did that without as much as a mumble from her own (bodaciously red) lips.

I’m just magical like that.

“What the fuck was that, Longbottom?”

“You know what? I don’t like your attitude.”

“I don’t like your non-existent nose hairs.”

I start to laugh uncontrollably. I’ll give you this, Finelly, you’re quite the individual.

“Goes to show people can truly hate things that are non-existent. Like your personality. I hate it already,” I chuckle. Nothing like a wound to her pride to get a rise out of her…any moment now-

“Listen up, dirt bag. Take you’re stupid insults and shove it!”

Ah, wedding bells to my ears.

“Come up with something creative, Finelly. I’m getting bored.”

“Fine, Frank. You win.”

Sweet Murphy!

I look at her straight in the face.
Fuck. She didn’t just say that, did she?
This isn’t good. I feel like my throat’s reverberating.

“What?” I mumble disbelievingly.

“I said: You win. Go ahead. Insult all you want. I don’t really care because my boobs-”

“Did you just call me by my first name and said ‘I win’ together in a chain of sentances?” She looks tongue tied and I continue with quite an interesting point she’s forgotten about.

“…And what about your boobs?”

She isn’t answering. Finelly has a look on her face that says ‘oh, god, don’t look at me because I know that you know that I look helpless’.

NO. No…This can’t happen. I know what she’s about to do. I can’t believe this.

I know that Jess can’t stand me, and I also know that she doesn’t know why. This is the whole point why we fight; it keeps things interesting. Because this is something that we agree on…the arguments, its how we live. It’s what I wake up to do each day, because we both have an idea about each other that we’ve made up to hate. And we enjoy it so much, so silently. We need the false hate. If that’s not there…then we can’t fight. I am NOT becoming friends with Jessica Finelly! I have to stop this. I can’t let her try and be friends.

It’ll change everything between us.

“I think the reason we fight so much is because of me. I have to tell you, there’s a reason I mess with your head-”

“You are so predictable.” I swallow a lump in my throat. I know this isn’t good. I’m not certain I understand the female mind but I know that this will piss her off, make her hate me even. And this needs to happen.

She quickly turns her eyes to me. “Excuse me?”

“You know, I knew that you knew what was going on. But I thought, hell – she might be creative and do something else. But no, you’re here to surrender to me just like I predicted. I know that there’s no reason for you to dislike me. Other than the fact that I get under your skin. I also know why I get under your skin. And it’s because you can’t find something about me to dislike. And that annoys you.” I’ve analyzed her now. She must be falling to bits, mentally. I look at Finelly.

She looks like I’ve taken a big shit in front of her.

“What’s funny, though, I must say, is that we both share that annoyance. You didn’t pick up my hints that I argued with you for the same reasons. I was hoping you’d make this fun. But no. You gave up. And you started telling me something I already knew. You are so bloody predictable, Finelly…”

She hates this. I can tell. In fact, I expected it.
What I didn’t expect, though, was Finelly moving closer.
Why-why is she doing that?
Oh, Merlin. She’s just grabbed onto my tie.
I swallow hard, like I’m taking a dry pill.

Something tells me this is NOT going to be one of those days.

“You can’t predict shit, Longbottom,” Jessica says, and plants her ruby red lips on mine.

Well, FUCK.

_Outside The Great Hall_ 

In some sort of weird, fucked up alternate universe, I could understand what was going on with Lily Evans. Unfortunately, I’m enjoying this snog too much to analyze my possibilities in said alternate universe.

I’m trying very hard not to be a girl about it, but holy crap, my heart sped up a mile a second when she got near me. When she grabbed me and kissed me just now, I wanted so much to just steal her away from everyone . But I’m not sure if she’d agree to go anywhere with me, even if I did take her away…have her all to myself.

And here we are, again, making out. this is probably the happiest and saddest thing that’s happened to me all day.

Happiest because I get to see her, touch her, be near her. And get to her. Kiss those beautiful lips I have been fond of since we were kids. But, the saddest, because I know something sparked this. This kind of happiness is never going to truly happen between us. I’m not sure it can be. The saddest because… it isn’t real.

I pull away from Lily Evans and we look each other in the eyes.
And I stare at her amazing emerald eyes. They look like diamonds.

“I-I don’t know…” she trails off.

I love you.
But I’ll never tell.

“Shhh,” I mumble. I take her face into my hands. There is no Amos Diggory. There is no Hogwarts. There is nobody.

Just us.

Lily looks like she’s going to cry, and I purse my lips from trying to think about what she’s thinking about. Because we both know the answer. And it’ll take only one of us to say it out loud enough to make it real. I want nothing more than have her here with me. There’s no way I’m saying it.

“I can’t do this,” she cries, running out of the hallway towards the staircases.

I can’t move.

I tell myself to get a grip. To go after her. She’s worth it. She’s worth it, damn it. And I can’t lose her like this. I take a look around the hallway. Apparently Diggory left while we were together. Or was I just imagining him walking towards us?

I run. I run until I find her the common room and I throw the door open.
She wants to talk, doesn’t she? I at least owe her that. Let her say what she has to say, then I’ll leave her alone. I know that it probably hurts her, knowing that what she did right now was a mistake.

I barricade the door to the common room with an unspoken spell and I sit down in an arm chair. Lily isn’t facing me, but facing the back of the couch, her hands resting on either side of the sofa. She hears the knob click, but I know she feels my presence only a couple feet behind her.

“You don’t have your wand,” she says, just above a whisper. Her voice is coarse.

I would smile if this situation wasn’t so screwed up to the third degree. I’d love it when we were kids, and I’d give her scenarios, and we’d test each other on how observant we were.

“No, I don’t.”

“You can do magic without a wand.” It isn’t a question. She’s certain.


“Since when?”

“We both know we’re not here to talk about wandless magic.”

She turns around and I see the diamonds in her eyes again. And the reason she’s had emerald diamonds in her eyes was because she had tears in them. Tears that are now running down her face.

Lily brushes them off quickly, ashamed. “Fine. Let’s do this.”

I nod in agreement. “Let’s.”

Once and for all.

A.N. - The song "Here With Me" by Dido inspired this one. It just fit so right, because James has an internal struggle with himself. I just thought you'd all appreciate a sort of helping aid to help make the mood right ^_^ Please leave reviews!

I know this chapter kinda sucked -_-

But just give me your critique so far, and let me hear your ideas! I love reading your theories and foreshadowing :)