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Conventional Wisdom by SnitchSnatcher

Format: Novel
Chapters: 22
Word Count: 112,253

Rating: Mature
Warnings: Strong Language, Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme

Genres: General, Humor, Romance
Characters: James (II), OC
Pairings: James/OC

First Published: 02/06/2009
Last Chapter: 06/21/2010
Last Updated: 09/09/2011

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My best friend is getting married. I should be happy, but there's just one small problem: He's not marrying me. And I'm the mother of his child. What worse is that his fiancee asked me to be her maid of honor. Merlin, I should've stayed in bloody Panama.

Chapter 1: Always Expect the Unexpected

Always Expect the Unexpected

Always expect the unexpected.

That’s the moral of this story.

If I had expected the unexpected, I doubt that I would be in my present situation. I wouldn’t be sitting in an uncomfortable, wooden pew in the second row behind some zany woman who thought it was a good idea to wear a peacock on her head as a hat in an old, but insatiable beautiful cathedral strewn with lavish decorations of red, white, and gold.

If I had expected the unexpected, my fists wouldn't be clenched, my fingernails wouldn’t be cutting stinging half-moons into the flesh of my palms. I wouldn’t be biting down painfully on my tongue to prevent myself from crying out, from objecting, to save my best friend from making the mistake of a lifetime - and believe you me when I say I’m an expert on the subject.

If I had expected the unexpected, I wouldn’t be doing my absolute best to keep the hot tears from spilling from my eyes. 

And just so you know, I wasn't tearing up because I’m happy for the groom, who happens to be my aforementioned best friend in the entire world. No, I was two seconds away from bursting out in tears because it’s not me standing there, looking entirely too gorgeous and skinny and blonde in an off-white wedding dress, my shaking hands holding those of the most stunning man that I’d ever met, the man I love and had loved for years.
If only I had expected the unexpected, it could be me up there, eyes shining with happiness and tears of joy, not bitterness and sadness, streaming down my cheeks.

But I hadn’t expected the unexpected, and because of that, I was paying the price. And oh, what a high price it was. Because I hadn't expected the unexpected, I was sitting in the uncomfortable wooden pew behind an apparently insane woman with a ridiculous hat and bemoaning all of the wrong turns my life had taken.

It’s eerie how you think you know the direction your life is going, but suddenly, it ends up doing a complete 180 and you’re veering off in the wrong direction. All it takes is one wrong turn, a little mishap and you’re done for. Everything you’ve worked so hard to build - your academic record, your career, your relationships - they all go down the tubes with one quick flick of the wrist.

If you would’ve told me three years ago that when I boarded the flight that would eventually bring me to Panama, it would be the first crack in the tightly-knit relationship I had with my best friend, I would have laughed in your face. I’d have called you delusional and politely suggested that you get yourself to St. Mungo’s as soon as wizardly possible as your head needed to be examined for damage. 

And if that didn’t work, I would have argued with you until Kingdom Come that nothing could tear James Potter and I apart, that it is possible for two members of the opposite sex to maintain a long, sturdy friendship without sexual tension ruining the friendship. After all, James and I had made it through Hogwarts relatively unscathed; the only time he’d kissed me was when we were twelve and curious as to what all the fuss was about snogging. And we’d made it to the ripe age of twenty-two before a surprise visit, too much alcohol, ranting over heartbreaks, and ripping each other’s clothes off finally caught up with us and caused this entire fiasco, for want of a better word.

I closed my eyes briefly, trying not to let the flashes of skin against skin, stolen breath after stolen breath, get to me. I wasn’t allowed to have those thoughts, especially not in the church where James Sirius Potter was getting married to a woman that definitely wasn’t me.

If only someone had been there to warn me.

- - -

A/N:Regarding this particular story. . .well, I don’t really have an excuse. I just love writing, particularly fanfics, and I’ve been dying to write a fic concerning Harry’s eldest son, so I decided to go for it. As you can see, it’s a romance, but not a necessarily happy one. If you have any questions at all, feel free to ask, though I’m sure the first real chapter will clear up a few of them.

So! That being said, REVIEW! Or you know, just anticipate the return of WIITB - it’s probably going to have a different title, by the way, I’m just searching for the perfect one. Au revoir!