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My Baby Girl’s Wedding by obsessive

Format: Novella
Chapters: 21
Word Count: 47,941
Status: WIP

Rating: 15+
Warnings: Mild Language, Mild Violence, Substance Use or Abuse, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme, Contains Spoilers

Genres: General, Humor, Romance
Characters: Lupin, Sirius, Lily, James, Pettigrew, OC
Pairings: James/Lily, Snape/Lily, OC/OC

First Published: 04/23/2007
Last Chapter: 02/23/2009
Last Updated: 02/23/2009

My name is Edward Evans. About thirty years ago I married my wife Kendra, and we have two daughters. One of them eloped with a man I can’t stand. My youngest is the only one I have left, and there is no way I’m going to let her walk down the aisle. Especially not with James Potter waiting at the alter. Yay! Over 17,000 reads!!!

Chapter 20: Mrs. Evans, Mr. and Mrs. Vernon Dursley, Miss Evans, and Mr. Potter

Disclaimer: The Plot and Lily’s parents are all my doing. However Lily and James aren’t mine. I’m not JKR and this is in no way connected to her. Live with it.

AN: Twenty chapter! I’m so excited. I think I’m going to be wrapping this story up very shortly. Also can I just say, and I don’t want to sound like I’m begging, but I’m not very pleased with the reviews I’ve gotten for the last two chapters. They mean the world to me guys, and the more I get the more I’ll want to update it. So feel free to leave some words. (10-7-08) Ok so I lost this chapter when the server crashed, and all your lovely reviews with it. If you want to remind me of what you said, great. If not well thanks for saying something the first time. If you didn’t leave me a review, shame on you, let’s try again.

I pulled the car into the driveway of 4 Privet Drive and cut the engine as quickly as I could. Kendra looked up at the house, and smiled. I grumbled as I examined the perfect grass and the sneering neighbors. This was the kind of neighborhood I’d insisted we avoid when the two of us were looking for our house. It was the type of small town where everything was everyone’s business and there was no privacy. I would never raise our daughters in such a prissy snobbish place, and it almost caused me great physical pain to think of one grandchild being brought up in such a smothering environment.

“Well Petunia seems to have done well for herself.” I glared at Kendra. “Oh now don’t be like that darling. Just because you’ve always thought these kinds of streets have negative effects on one’s personal…”

“Pleasantness?” I offered. “Our daughter’s going to become a gossiping little busy body.”

“Look on the bright side darling. She’s got enough neck to be able to look over the fences without too much trouble,” Kendra joked lightly.

“This is not funny darling. We went through so much trouble to make sure she never became that, and now she gone running into the most annoying stereotype with open arms.”

“Don’t be so dramatic Edward. Besides Petunia will do what she will do. Let it be love. Let’s not forget what happened last time you tried to stop something like this.”

“Can we just get this over with?” I grumbled.

“You’re not happy about seeing the girls?” she inquired opening the door.

“Of course I’m thrilled with seeing the girls. I can’t get enough of the girls. You know that they’re my world. It’s those boys of theirs that I’m not wild about. Little slimy gits.”

“Those little slimy gits as you would like to call them, either are or are going to be our son in laws. I’d get used to them darling. They’re not going anywhere.”

“You never know, a flock of wild geese could wind up attacking them tomorrow,” I responded annoyed. “No I was not kidding.”

“Tell me darling where are you getting this flock of wild geese? And how are you going to train them into attacking James and Vernon but not our daughters? More importantly how are you going to get those four in a room together with out them trying to kill each other?” She asked, making her way up to the front door, with me right following dutifully behind.

“I didn’t say that I was going to attack them with a flock of wild geese. Dursley and Potter could just happen to be walking by a pond were a vicious pack of wild geese happens to live. I would have nothing to do with it.” She didn’t respond. Instead she sighed heavily and rang the doorbell. From the other side I could hear the clink of high heels against some expensive sounding tile, and Tuney opened the door, wearing what could only be a strand of pearls, and some fine silk dress. I couldn’t help but do a double take.

“I thought we were decorating the nursery,” I said confused. Kendra looked at me. She was wearing some old pants, that she’d been patching up since the kids were born, and a t-shirt I forgotten she owned. I was wearing a work shirt I’d spilled mead on a few Christmases ago. “Doesn’t that normally involve painting?”

“Of course Daddy, but see I don’t think it’s good for Lily and I to be around all those fumes, plus the heavy lifting wouldn’t be good for the babies. I thought we’d stay down here and make everyone tea.” Like Lily was actually going to let that happen. She’d still come over to the house without James to tell us about the baby. In fact she hadn’t even told him where she was going to be. I doubted that her being pregnant would have changed her regular behavior very much. My little Petunia Pet could be so delusional sometimes.

“Well it’ll be nice for you and your sister to spend sometime together,” Kendra simpered kindly. Tuney nodded, and lead us inside. The moment he back was turned I rolled my eyes at her, and she patted me on the arm, as if to say leave it alone. Which I did. I would never pick a fight with Petunia, especially not a pregnant and hormonal Petunia.

Vernon was waiting in the living room. He was wearing the appropriate clothes. I was surprised he even owned something other than a suit. He stood up and shook Kendra and my hands briefly, before sitting back down. Kendra and I took a seat on the couch opposite him and Petunia, and I looked around at the house. It had the grandest technology money could buy these days, along with the finest furniture available, all of which was enhanced with marble, and some expensive looking rugs and tiles. Leave it to Petunia to be ridiculously shallow, and materialistic.

“So any ideas on names yet?” I was pulled back to earth by Kendra’s question. Looking over at her and Vernon I saw them look at each other.

“Actually we were thinking about naming it Dudley if it’s a boy or Meredith if it’s a girl,” Petunia informed us, taking Vernon’s hand and smiling nervously at us.

“Oh,” Kendra said slowly. “I’m sorry but aren’t those your parents Vernon?”

“Yes we like the idea of naming the baby after someone in the family,” he replied proudly.

“And we’re not part of that family are we?” I grumbled a little peeved.

“Well Daddy we want to pick the people we’re closest with, and frankly Vernon’s parents have been more supportive about the marriage and the pregnancy. Besides Edward and Kendra just seem like silly names to me.”

“Yes because Dudley and Meredith aren’t stupid names at all,” came Lily’s sweet voice from the door.

“And apparently the Potter family doesn‘t know how to knock!” Petunia shrieked as Lovely Lily and James entered the room, him in baggy jeans and a T-shirt, and her in an old grey shirt and overalls, hair tied back. “Lily could you be any ruder? You don’t just barge into people’s homes!”

“Well excuse us Petunia. Have I not mentioned to you how the Wizarding World is in open warfare? It’s not exactly safe for us to be out on the street to long, and due to my condition we have to travel in the open. You’ll have to excuse us for just coming into your house, after risking our lives to spending sometime with you.”

“How about we get started. That nursery isn’t going to fix itself up you know,” James suggested nervously. I stood up and nodded quickly. Vernon hopped up and lead James, Kendra, Lily, and I up the steps, past a cupboard under the stairs, and up to a big bedroom, with no furniture, and tarps covering the expensive looking carpet. “So where’s the paint?” James asked looking around.

“We’re painting it this nice pastel blue color,” Petunia simpered, finally making her way up the steps. She was a little bit farther than Lou Lou, and had started to waddle a bit. “Now Lils why don’t you come down stairs. I talked to my doctor, and he said painting fumes weren’t good for anyone, let alone an expecting mother. Come on. We can make tea.”

“Doctor?” James repeated blankly. “Why would Lily listen to a doctor?”

“For medical advice James,” Vernon said, looking at his future brother-in-law like he was an alien and taking a couple steps back. “Why would she not listen to a doctor?”

“Aren’t doctors those lunatics who cut people up, and poke holes in them?” he asked Lily. She sighed and nodded.

“Muggles don’t have healers James.”

“Then who takes care of them when they get sick?”

“Doctor’s take care of sick people James,” Vernon said, pulling a bit at his mustache, nervously.

“How can doctor’s take care of sick people? I thought they were those maniacs who walk around with knives, and” Lily cut him off.
“I’ll explain later darling.”

“I agree with Lily.” Petunia snipped, insulted. “James you should know better than to talk about maniacs with knives in front of Lily and I. We’re in a delicate state.”

“Yes, Petunia,” Kendra said sarcastically. “Because when you’re pregnant you’re so fragile the slightest little thing can make you drop dead. It was a miracle I survived carrying to two of you with your father’s lack of tact.”

“Hey I have plenty of tact. When you were pregnant with Petunia no once did I mention blood or grapes.” Everyone stopped and stared at me.

“I don’t want to know,” Lily shuddered.

“I don’t think any of us do,” James agreed.

“Anyway,” Pretty Pet said, changing the subject. “Let’s go make so tea Lily. Mum do you want to come. Then we can leave our three strong strapping men to do some manly work,” she joked. You couldn’t get me to use the adjectives strong and strapping to described my son-in-laws, least of all Vernon, maybe James…but only if you paid me. Lily had pursed her lips and was looking at her mother, annoyed. Kendra shook her head kindly and beckoned Lily to the door. The mother and her two daughters left to go make tea, leaving us “three strong strapping men” to do the dirty work.

“So,” James began awkwardly, “Where is the paint?” Vernon pointed to the corner where three paint cans were sitting, expectantly. “Right…that’s going to take a while…” he trailed off and looked around nervously. “I could just polish this off in five seconds.” I looked at him, and saw that he was casually moving his hand to his pocket, which had to contain his wand. Vernon had visibly tensed, and was staring at his future brother in law fearfully.

“Oh come one Vernon,” I sighed, annoyed. “You know as well as I do, that this is all them,” I said jerking my head towards the door. “I’m just stating the obvious here. The three of us hate each other. The sooner we’re done with this the sooner we can all leave, and I think that‘d be best for all involved.” A look of longing crossed his face at the idea of getting out of this.

“But won’t they find it fishy that a job that was supposed to take us a whole day, only took us ten minutes.”

“Don’t be ridiculous Vernon,” Potter said, sticking his head outside the door and looking from side to side. “It’s magic so it’d only take us ten seconds.”

“I don’t know,” he said nervously. “Won’t Lily know what we did? And won’t she be mad?”

“Oh she’ll be livid,” James replied. “But honestly I can deal with her, but the two of you. There’s no way everyone’s getting out alive, and I think the you know that too.” I sighed, and nodded in agreement.

“And Kendra? She’d kill you wouldn’t she?” I nodded, feeling a bit anxious for the first time. “But Petunia would kill me too. They’d all kill us. We wouldn’t live to see the babies being born.”

“Think of it this way though. Who would you rather deal with your angry wife? Or Potter and I?”

“Wave your wand around,” Dursley said. “Just get it over with, but don’t let the neighbors see.”

“Not a problem, it’s what I’m trained for,” Potter said, frowning in concentration. The paint cans behind us started to shake and slowly lifted themselves off the ground. I quickly walked over to the window and closed the blinds, while the paint brushes rose up, and the cans opened. The brushes dipped themselves in the pastle blue paint, and started to cover the walls. The whole thing had risen above our heads, and was slowly circling the room. Dursley, Potter, and I all watched carefully, but not a drop of paint was spilled, when suddenly Lily walked through the door with a tray of tea.

“Hey we finished the tea, so how’s it going on up here?”

The second she walked in room, James panicked, and without thinking dropped his wand. The paint cans came crashing down, and unfortunately for us, Lily was standing right underneath them. The paint splattered everywhere, drenching her from head to foot. Light blue paint covering her, she spat a few drops out of her mouth.
“Hi honey,” James said, smiling guiltily.

AN: I am so sorry. I know you must hate me!! But I just started school, and I had a party/trip every single weekend since, while I’ve been working on my original work. Plus the whole swing of getting back into school, and I had couple of birthday parties to go to, and one of them was mine so there was that. I know it all sounds lame, but it’s the truth. Thanks for being patient.