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LOVE & BROOMSTICKS by StepUpx_Gryffindor

Format: Novel
Chapters: 35
Word Count: 216,870
Status: WIP

Rating: Mature
Warnings: Strong Language, Mild Violence, Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Substance Use or Abuse, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme

Genres: Humor, Romance, Young Adult
Characters: Lupin, Sirius, F. Longbottom, Lily, James, Pettigrew, OC
Pairings: James/Lily, Sirius/OC, Other Pairing

First Published: 07/23/2006
Last Chapter: 03/09/2015
Last Updated: 03/09/2015


You know what I hate? Having James Potter as your playmate as a child, & then having him turn into an egotistical pig as soon as we both set foot in Hogwarts. All the jokes, teasing, cat-calling... I can't stand it! I can't stand him. James Potter may have that devlishly handsome grin going for him, but I'm not falling for it! I've survived him for 5 years & I'm sure I can make it through my Sixth Year without him... I think?

Chapter 16: The Jack And The Joker

Woah. It's been a while. Well, I hope you really enjoy this one... It took me a while to finish it but near the end the ideas just kept spilling! So it's a lengthly chapter ;P

Oh, and I'm not sure if you would call this a filler chapter, but it's more of a 'add up all the loose ends' kind of chapter. Alot actually happens in this one. The kind that makes you hope that there's a good outcome in the future ^_^ I just couldn't stop typing... So really, I apologize if you get bored at the end lol.

IxOWNxMRBECKHAM4ever: I swear, on Merlin’s beard, that if you even try to attempt to blow anything up ever again, I will shove my wand so far up your arse that every time you open your mouth it’ll be EXPECTO PATRONUM.

SIRxSNUFFLESxxSIRIUS: Er… delightful.

EYEz0Fnaturex3EVANS: I second the EXPECTO PATRONUM motion.

FOULLxxHOWLLxxRL58: times five.


SIRxSNUFFLESxxSIRIUS: You’re supposed to be on the marauders’ side!

FOULLxxHOWLLxxRL58: You’re the only marauder on the moronic side, Sirius.

loveMEsomeCHEESE19: PWND.

SIRxSNUFFLESxxSIRIUS: I would totally flick your nose right now, Wormtail, considering you’re next to me. But I won’t… Because I- what? YES, I have self control.

JPlittleQUIDDITCHboyx: no comment.

IxOWNxMRBECKHAM4ever: Is this the dawn of a new era?

loveMEsomeCHEESE19: Who’s Dawn?

JPlittleQUIDDITCHboyx: I really do worry about you sometimes, Peter.

Yes, it’s Monday. A new week, a new set of computers, and unfortunately, not a new set of classmates. We’re in the same classroom as before except some stuff has changed. No, unfortunately our seating arrangements are the same. Jessica still sits next to Mr. Flatulence; also known as Albert The Fart Machine. I’m still no where near her- but I’m not sure if that’s a blessing or a curse, according to the SILENT BUT DEADLYs that Albert’s let rip this morning. The ‘emergency brake’ button was moved inside the cupboard room. No more big buttons for Sirius to be tempted by. It’s quite a small cupboard room…The name fits.


I still can’t get over it. An emergency brake. Emergency frickin’ brake.

In Hogwarts.


Now, on to more important things… No, James didn’t find out it was me. And no- he hasn’t talked to me at all today; just eye contact, which is one serving of James too many. I’m sure Sirius and James didn’t notice Emma and Jessica last night either, because while I walked passed them this morning for breakfast, all I heard was them talking about me- just me. Well, they didn’t know they were talking about me. Sirius was mentioning some girl running around in her panties last night to Remus and Peter. Nosy little bugger.

I have been walking around like a zombie this morning. Emma’s a morning person so she somehow found the energy to wake up today on time. Jessica and I on the other hand woke up ten minutes before the end of breakfast. You know how I am about food…I was NOT missing breakfast, so of course Jess and I rushed to get our clothes on. The worst part about jamming the food down my throat and walking around like the living dead is that I still have the underwear on from last night! I know, it’s terrible. It’s like a dreadful reminder of why my eye sockets have been drooping down to my knees lately. But honestly, this morning, taking off the underwear that almost ruined my life totally slipped my mind. I was too focused on getting dressed on time and being able to eat before classes. But now I regret it. Not only because this bra is a bit too snug, but because every time I’ve tried to adjust my sitting position to fix my boobs secretly… All the memories from last night find their way into my memory. Wearing this thing. Almost being seen by them. Standing in that hallway. My liberation hallway. I guess it was a once and a lifetime opportunity to feel that free… But man, it felt amazing!

IxOWNxMRBECKHAM4ever: Man, I’m soooo tired.

EYEz0Fnaturex3EVANS: Story of my life.

SIRxSNUFFLESxxSIRIUS: Yeah, I noticed at breakfast, well- the couple of minutes that you both were there… you and Ginger Snaps over here staggered in like zombies. Oh, and Lily, you have bags under your eyes.

EYEz0Fnaturex3EVANS: thanks.


EYEz0Fnaturex3EVANS: And, by the way- Don’t frickin’ call me Ginger Snaps, or I’ll snap YOUR head off.

loveMEsomeCHEESE19: So Emma got her hair cut. I saw it today…


IxOWNxMRBECKHAM4ever: ahahahahaha ;]

EYEz0Fnaturex3EVANS: oh, the irony =]

JPlittleQUIDDITCHboyx: I was shocked when I saw her this morning actually. Who knew she’d randomly get her hair cut? She can pull off the short blonde hair. Unlike Parvana Igor who looks like a sergeant from Vietnam with that Nazi cut she got last week.

FOULLxxHOWLLxxRL58: Yeah, the short hair really does suit Emma.

SIRxSNUFFLESxxSIRIUS: Back off, remyyyyy.


JPlittleQUIDDITCHboyx: Oh, of course. She soooo wants you, Padfoot. I can see it in the way she runs away from you….

SIRxSNUFFLESxxSIRIUS: alsdkjfalskdf.

FOULLxxHOWLLxxRL58: SO INTO YOU, PADDY, IT’S CRAZY. The way her legs pick up speed after you try to call out her name…

SIRxSNUFFLESxxSIRIUS: now wait a minute.

JPlittleQUIDDITCHboyx: the way her arms flail all over the place…

SIRxSNUFFLESxxSIRIUS: hold on now!

loveMEsomeCHEESE19: hitting little children…  

FOULLxxHOWLLxxRL58: in the face…



JPlittleQUIDDITCHboyx: SLAP!!!!


EYEz0Fnaturex3EVANS: Not that I’m allowed to say anything, but Sirius… Just don’t worry about it right now, okay?

IxOWNxMRBECKHAM4ever: Yeah, she’ll talk to you eventually. Just don’t… Attack her.

loveMEsomeCHEESE19: Hah! You hear that? No more turning around from corners and trying to catch her arm anymore, Paddy!

EYEz0Fnaturex3EVANS: You WHAT?!


EYEz0Fnaturex3EVANS: Don’t do that ever again! No wonder she’s all over the place! You’ve turned her into a wreck, attacking her like that.

SIRxSNUFFLESxxSIRIUS: What’s this now? She’s a wreck? It’s because of my dashing good looks, isn’t it? ;]

IxOWNxMRBECKHAM4ever: Lily! Stop talking.

EYEz0Fnaturex3EVANS: Er, right. She’s completing fine how she is. Never mind.



So I take out my Lily List for the first time in a while. I read everything all over again, as if I was still on the train on that same day.

1. Get a tattoo on my lower back.
2. Save a pet from harm/rescue an abandoned animal. [ACCOMPLISHED]
3. Get autographs from all the members of McFly.

4. Purchase tickets to see England play, and hopefully win, in the World Cup.
5. Get a boyfriend before the end of school.

6. Snog with someone in the rain.

7. Make a funny home movie, and then save it for remembrance.
8. Get a picture taken with someone in those cool photo booth places.

9. Shave off someone’s eye brows.
10. Bump into someone famous.

11. Become friends with a gay guy.

12. Fall in love with someone who will never leave me, and one day get married.

13. Go skinny dipping in the ocean or the lake at Hogwarts.

14. Moon somebody/show someone my butt and then run away ashamed of myself.

15. Learn how to play an instrument.

16. Ask Mrs. Jenkins to teach me how to knit.

17. Finally save enough money to get an ipod, and make it cooler and better than Jessica’s.
18. Make my own dress.
19. Get a job at an old diner.
20. Learn an exotic dance like the tango.

I look at #14. Technically, I kind of did show someone my ass and then run away ashamed of myself. But the Jessica side of me says: NO. That’s not fully fair. Number fourteen is just going to be another memory of mine I’m going to have to make.

But number nine looks quite interesting.



“I get it now,” Emma says, dropping her books on the coffee table and plopping down next to me on the couch. I was just sitting here in the common room thinking about my next course of action for The LL, and was interrupted by Emma bursting through the portrait hole.

“I’ve got the hots for Sirius Black,” Emma says to me, as plainly as she can.

I look at her skeptically. Emma would never say something like that. She’s too…mature.

“I know, I know- I’m actually talking like a teenager. But, for the first time, Lily, I feel like being giddy!” A smile creeps on her face before she can stop herself.

I adjust my position on the couch. “I knew that in some way, you liked him. Jess and I could tell; but we didn’t know he’d have this much of an affect on you…afterwards.”

“Well, okay, I realize that. That whole self finding thing, that I, well… Found out. And I’ve grasped my feelings now. In the beginning, I was terrified of what this would feel like; this kind of boy interest. I mean I’ve had boyfriends before but I don’t think I’ve ever liked them as much as I’ve found out how hard I have fallen for Sirius.”

I smile. “You seem to really like him.”

“Are you kidding? When ever I hear someone behind me say his name I feel butterflies in my tummy.” She falls back on the couch, her head looking up. I’ve never seem Emma this way, and surprisingly enough I’m not that excited. Of course I’m happy for her, it’s just… I saw this coming. But I wonder about all that other stuff with Emma.

“When did you find out that you liked him?”

“Alright,” she starts, “I was really confused with that horrid poem and then when that kiss came, it felt shocking but relaxing at the same time. I was so guilty for letting myself enjoy the fact that Sirius was an incredible kisser. I felt like a hypocrite and I didn’t want to make a scene and just flat out say that I enjoyed it. Because I thought that I shouldn’t have; like I knew more about what was best for me, even though I didn’t. I shunned myself away for days and ran away every time I saw someone I knew try and approach me. After all that time of thinking he was the most pompous idiot on the planet, I never suspected him to be interested in me; let alone me falling for him! It took A LOT of time to get used to this idea, but I can’t run away from the truth.”

“Well, consider yourself Sirius-ly In Love,” I say with a grin.

“He’s still a pompous idiot, but I’ll learn to like his immature side with time, I guess,” Emma says out of the blue, as if she was discussing it with herself in her head before saying it.

I laugh. “Have you told Sirius?”

She gets a bit red in the face and looks down. “No, I haven’t. Actually, I’ve been running away every chance I get! I can’t tell him, I don’t want to-”

“Emma Michelle Tebbon, you are going to stop running away from him. You’re going to march up to Sirius and snog his brains out. Jessica has tape, if necessary-”

“I can’t bring myself to tell him! What if he’s moved on by now or what if he doesn’t like my hair cut? I know that I haven’t really given him a chance to talk considering the fact that I’ve run way from him and his friends about four times today, but I’m afraid of rejection! And- Wait, what the hell does tape have to do with telling Sirius?” Emma asks bewildered.

I smile sheepishly. “To keep you from running away. We could tape your arms and legs together and make you hop to him, and in doing so, we’d know for a fact that every other human on the face of the earth would be faster than you. You’d have no way of escaping anyone that couldn’t catch up with you.”

“Did you just devise that plan up in your head right now?” She says worriedly.

“Kind of.”

“Stop hanging around Jessica.”

I roll my eyes with a smile.


“How about you? Are you going to go up to James and tell him that it was your arse he saw in velvet pink and lace last night?”

I snort. “That was almost funny.”

“Consider us even, then.”

“No! That’s not fair! Me and Potter, you and Sirius,” I weigh with my hands. “Me and Potter,” my one hand goes down, “You and Sirius”, my other hand goes up. “You two are WAY more important than the former. Besides the fact that those are two very different situations involving marauders, you can’t go around for the rest of the year without talking to him or telling him about your feelings! And no, to answer your question, Sirius is still crazy about you. I think he might be in love with you now considering your knew hair do. You can thank me for that.”

I get up and walk to my dorm, leaving a dazed and awkward Emma in the common room to sort out her thoughts. I’m a couple steps away from the Sixth Year girls’ dormitory when I feel a hand go around my waist.

“I think I’ve figured your game out, Evans,” he whispers in my ear.

I turn around. How the hell did he get up the stairs without it turning into a slide?

“There I was, sitting at my desk during Muggle Studies this morning, thinking about why you have been silent with me for quite a while. Then I thought about it some more while lounging on my bed doing Charms homework; and it hit me. I didn’t know why, but it just dawned on me out of no where. I don’t understand why I couldn’t have figured this out earlier,” James says to me slowly, smirking.

I take a deep breath and try to look away, but I guess I can’t do that, since I’m staring straight into his hazel eyes.

“All those quiet moments, one word answers, smart remarks and retorts to my questions… You’re giving me the silent treatment.”


“Oh, and I dragged myself up here, in case your wondering. Quidditch has given me enough strength to haul myself up the railing,” James adds.

He couldn’t have figured this out already…NO! It was going so well, and the fact that it had been going on for days; it was an accomplishment! Damn him and his marauder skills of figuring out enigmas of all sorts.

I try to seem nonchalant about what he’s told me, and fold my arms.


He chuckles. “Don’t play with me, Evans. You should know that my Jack beats your Joker by a mile.” James rests his arm above me, coming in close contact with my face. Well, he’s sure of himself.

“I’m no Joker,” I say, playing back. If he wants to be a smart ass about this, then let him. I’ll be one, too- see how he likes it. “You’re the Joker, if anything. Only the Jack could have come up with the silent treatment and stump the Joker.”

“Who said I was stumped? Just simply confused.” He leans closer to me.

Getting comfortable, now are we?

“I thought you were supposed to be the Jack?” I try not to smile.

He stays there for a while with out saying anything, and stares into my eyes.

I don’t like this.


The corner of his mouth curls just a bit, but before he can do anything I open the door from behind me, my hand twisting the brass knob behind my back. It would have gone great to have slammed it into his face and leave him there near the stairs. It would have also been great if I remembered the minor detail of his arm resting on the door as well. We both fall, James on top of me, and my back on the floor.

He catches the floor just in time so only some of his body weight really hits me. We’re lying on the floor (part of us in the girls’ dormitory, the other part sticking out of the door) and I’ve never been this nervous with James before; because it took me a while to register a tiny problem.


We’re on the floor and our feet are just there for all to see. Have mercy, people are going to think we’re getting it on! This looks so bad. But before I try to think of a way to get up before anyone sees, struggling and turning under him, I notice my skirt flew up while we fell.

Revealing my panties from last night.

The unforgettable panties with the unnecessary lace trim. I give a little yell and pull my skirt down but it’s too late. James is staring at my ass. And it’s for ALL the wrong reasons.

“Bloody…” He mumbles.

I’m so red right now that if you squeezed me tomato juice would come out.

I don’t know what to do, he’s seen me! He knows it’s me! After running a hundred miles per hour last night so he couldn’t catch me, it all went for nothing! James found out. He defeats me in a nonviolent battle. And he didn’t even do anything. I opened that door. He fell on me. My skirt flew up.

My life is shit.

“I knew it. I mean, I knew I recognized that ass from somewhere. Bloody hell, IT WAS YOU!” James practically screams. Thank God no ones in the dormitory!

“Shut your mouth!” I cover his mouth with my hands and roll on him so I’m on top.

“You listen up, and you listen up good: If you don’t shut that hole in your face I’m going to shut it for you, understand?”

But when I let go he seems less than intimidated. “Only if it’s your mouth that’s shutting it for me.” He winks.

Oh, God. He winked.

I’m never going to hear the end of this.

“I can’t believe it was you!” James laughs. I feel the pressure of his stomach under me, and I feel laughter under my tummy. I can’t find the words to speak.

“Tell me, why were you running around Hogwarts in the sexiest pair of panties in the wee hours of the morning?”

I swallow the lump in my throat.

“None of your business,” I spit out before I can think. I get up off of James and point towards the door. I don’t care what he has to say to me, he just has to leave. Now.

He gets up and brushes himself off. “This isn’t over yet.” Playful and yet, charming. NOT.

I slam the door in his face, just like I did that the sleepover. It becomes more and more entertaining every time I do it. And it's quite satisfying; almost like therapy. I miserable get undressed out of my uniform, put on a McFly band tee, and a pair of jeans, and head for the Great Hall.

“I’m finished.”

“What are you on about?” Jessica asks, shoving mashed potatoes in her mouth. It’s dinner time and we’re sitting in the Great Hall, but at the end of the table; the farthest away from James.

I bang my head against my empty plate.

“Oi. You made me sit at the end of the table tonight and you didn’t tell me why. You’ve been looking melancholy ever since I met up with you outside the Great Hall. And you haven’t even eaten a morsel since we’ve sat down. You’re going to tell me why you have SCREW MY LIFE stamped on your forehead.”

Ah, the rude awakening known as Jessica Finelly.

“I ran into James. He saw my underwear. I forgot to change them before I went to sleep last night, so he saw the panties. THE panties.”

“HONEY COVERED FUDGE NUGGETS!” Jessica drops her fork.

“Hey, lower your voice!” I say hurriedly.

“What were you two doing that made your undies visible?!” Jessica bursts.

“I know! I can’t believe he knows it’s me. After we did so good at hiding it last night- excuse me?”

I can’t believe this. My best friend is more interested in how James saw my panties than the real situation at hand. HE KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE WITHOUT CLOTHES.

“That’s not the main focus!” I argue.


I give her the Evans glare. “Don’t even think about it.”

“Think about what?” She says innocently, taking a bite out of her biscuit.

“Nothing happened with James and I. So don’t think that for a second.”

“Oh, that’s not what I was really thinking about,” Jessica says, smirking at me.

“Really?” I ask even though it doesn’t sound like a question.

“You called him James.” She smiles with her dimples.

I blink.

“Ah, yes. You did indeed call him James. Not Potter,” she repeats again, taking my own plate and filling it with pasta.

I fumble for the right words but she puts the plate, filled up with food, in front of me and says, “That’s not important. We’ll talk about that later. Just tell me how he found out it was you.” She gives me this look.

It’s a look that read: I’m off the hook, for now.

Well, damn, I’m taking that advantage!

“He fell on me, and we landed on the ground. In a fumble, my skirt flew up and he saw them.”

“Well at least he got a good view…”

“Jessica!” I hit her shoulder.

She sticks her tongue out.

“Anyway, I’ve been thinking. I want to do something devious again.”

“Not again. You already went around Hogwarts parading yourself for all of James to see.”

“Stop that,” I say quickly, ignoring her obvious banter/teasing. “Instead of those dares, why not pull a prank on one of the marauders?”

“Hm? Why so interested?”

I pull out my Lily List and she reads it. “Lily, this is genius! I should totally make one…”

I smile. “But what does this have to do with pranking the boys?” Jess asks, confused.

“Read number nine,” I say with dancing eyes.

“Oh, wow. That has his name all over it!”

“That’s exactly what I was thinking when I wrote it.”


We come back to the common room after dinner. I had chosen a new book to read from the library, so of course you can just picture me sitting on the couch reading it right about now. Jessica goes to sit near the window to play some wizards’ chess with one of the younger members of Gryffindor. Peter is reading what looks like a letter from home in the armchair. Sirius and Remus are playing exploding snap near the portrait hole. Frank Longbottom is talking to a rather dark haired and hazel eyed boy next to the television. An infomercial for a special mop is on the television.

Woah, Frank and James? Why are they talking?

You don’t think that James is… asking Frank for advice? No, no he can’t.

I don’t think any of the marauders have made any meetings with Frank, and it doesn’t look like he’s asking him to help him out. I mean there are some reasons to back this up. One: he has NOTHING to ask advice about. Honestly, he sees me nearly nude and he doesn’t know what to do? Two: Frank only schedules meetings at his picnic table outside during the day. I’ve never seen him give his service in the common room before.

They’re probably talking about manly things. Er, what do boys talk about?

Tonka trucks? Hah, I don’t think so. They’re not five.

Quidditch? No. Frank isn’t really that much of a fan and the season doesn’t start until November.

Boobs? Well, they are Gryffindor boys.

“Eat it, Max!” I hear Jessica proclaim. I turn my head around and see her defeat the Third Year in wizards’ chess. He looks like he’s gonna cry.

“Stick that in your juice box and suck it! Come on, cough it up. Four galleons.” She sticks her hand out. Max is looking forlorn as he gets the money out from his robes.

“Jessica, you did not just gamble a Third Year at chess!” I say to her.

“Of course not,” she says. “It was wizards’ chess.”

I sigh and look up at the heavens.

After she collects her money, Jess walks passed me to say she’s going to bed. I continue reading the book in my hands. But not without glancing towards the plasma screen; James and Frank are still standing next to the TV talking. I don’t know why it’s interesting me so much. Maybe I’ll just ask Frank later? Nah, he’d think I was nosy. And I’m not. I’m only nosy in my head. You know, in my thoughts. Nothing more. Nothing more, I say! I don’t speak my mind that much, everyone knows that. Well, not everyone, considering it’s all in my head and I don’t speak it, so how can everyone know?

I’m a nutter, why am I talking about this?


I shake my head, getting rid of any thoughts including James, and turn to the first page of my novel. Ah, a fresh new story. It’s about a boy who grows up in India by himself and-


Remus takes a seat next to me.

I turn my head slightly and give him a cock-eyed look.


He turns his mouth to a certain angle and says, “That doesn’t sound like an asking kind of ‘what’; it sounds like an annoyed ‘what’ that doesn’t need a question mark.”

I sigh. “What is it, Remus?”

“Did you resolve that little thing with James?”

“Little thing? First off, Remus, you’re his mate. YOU ask him. Don’t just come to me at some random moment after dinner and expect an explanation for what ever is going on between him and I. Second off, there’s nothing going on between him and me, so there isn’t a problem to resolve. Goodbye.” I try to concentrate on my book again. I’m still on the first page.

“I thought I told you, he doesn’t share anything between you and him now. It’s different this year. Didn’t we discuss that topic? And to clarify that ‘little thing’ you’re not willing to mention; you’re not talking to him and earlier this year he wasn’t talking to you either. After that whole thing with Diggory, he was living inside his head for a long time. And of course, I’ve been his good mate for years, but that doesn’t mean I know how to handle situations where he ignores us. Obviously I wouldn’t come to you if I didn’t already talk to Prongs, or try to. Can’t you see that?” Remus sounds frustrated.

Join the club.

“He was acting a bit more normal these past couple of days, but James is doing it again. He’s an internal recluse to himself; or his friends rather. I haven’t decided. The James I know wouldn’t pull this kind of thing twice. He’s having a repetition. And I’m not a fan of it the second time around, considering it was annoying me to pieces the first time he was acting like this.”

I sigh again. It’s really become a breathing hobby of mine now-a-days. “Look, I appreciate the fact that you have the decency to share this heart felt bros over hoes love you have for Potter. Really, I understand that you love him like a brother. It’s understandable; you’ve been with him for years. And I’ve been with him longer, and yet I haven’t figured him out. He’s changed enough over the years to shock even those that thought they knew him all along,” I say, a bit hesitantly. To think we used to be best friends…

“Been with him?” Remus asks quirkily.

“Smart ass, you know what I mean. I’ve known him all my life, and if I can’t figure out these ‘little things’ on my own, then you know that you can’t come to me for help.”

He almost laughs. “I’m not coming to you for help. Maybe you don’t understand what I’m trying to say.”

I raise my eyebrow. “Maybe I don’t understand what you’re trying to say? The last time you came up to me to talk about this, you told me to find a way to make James change back to how he was before. The last time I remember you coming up to me, YOU asked ME for help on what to do about it. What ever I did to fix that thing with him, it kind of worked, and it kind of didn’t. Honestly, that ‘little thing’ you keep mentioning is starting to piss me off. It’s not a problem. It’s the usual banter between James Potter and I. Why should this be any different than all the others? And I’m NOT trying to avoid talking about it or mentioning it, just so you know. It’s just… Unnecessary to discuss it.”

He props his foot on the table, leans back on the couch, and throws his hands up in the air.

“Don’t you care about this at all?! You must have realized that this isn’t the usual banter. Something hit the both of you, hard; just like I told you before. You don’t feel like this is changing anything and I don’t understand why you can’t just give me some insight on what’s going on in his head-”

“As if I know what’s going on in his head! He doesn’t listen to me like that anymore. We’re not nine-”

“How can you see the differences in him and not be confused by it?!”

“Oh! Don’t even! He’s complicated my life five times as much this year. Everything I worry about, every tiny thing that confuses me… it’s all because of Potter.” I’m careful to not call him James.

“Pfft. You’re not even trying to work things out! You’re just trying to fight fire with fire, I’ve noticed that-”

“Shut. Up. I’ve grown accustomed to things like this-”

“NOT things like this! The second time, Lily, the second time his attitude is jumping to different intervals. This can’t continue! I care about him enough to try and let him know that he’s changing when he does this. Prongs doesn’t see it. He’s blind to how others are seeing him now-”

“He seemed like his normal self today when he cornered me outside the girls’ Sixth Year dormitory!”

Remus and I are practically huffing at each other. We stop for a couple seconds to catch our breath.

“He’s over it, okay? I ran into Potter only once today; the first time in days- and he was acting like the same James Potter since First Year. What ever kind of attitude he was having before, it ended today- before dinner.”

“Something’s not right…” Remus furrows his eyebrows and scratches his chin. “If you’re saying that he acted like the same old Prongs today when he talked to you then something has to be out of order. For the passed couple of days until day, he was ignoring us and acting different. But since I haven’t tried to talk to him about it today, I’m guessing tomorrow it’s just going to blow other then… Right?”


I mimic Remus’s stance and prop my chin in my hands and lean my elbow on the arm of the couch.

“Don’t mock me, Evans,” Remus says rather heatedly.


“Hah! Where have I heard that before…?” I roll my eyes. We look at each other, annoyed and disgruntled. But still polite enough not to get mad at each other and let the heat get the best of us. I don’t know how we manage to pull off a polite atmosphere, but that’s just what every conversation is like with him. Arguing with Remus is like discussing friendly football and rugby critiques with your father, cousin, or Aunty Betsy. Er, never mind. Not Aunt Betsy; she’s quite…Fierce, when it comes to football.

“Sixth Year is driving me mad.”

I grunt. “You’ve got to be kidding me right now.”

“I’m just letting you know, Lily…”

“I frickin’ know, Remus. And when James Potter wants to grow up to be a big boy and grow some-”

“Lily-” Remus interrupts strongly, as if warning me not to finish my sentence.

I squint at this.

“…When he gains some maturity,” I say as a substitute for my original words, with a grimace. Remus nods approvingly and I continue. “And when he finds the courage to actually confess what’s so forcefully been shoved up his bum-”

Remus’s face looks disappointed with my grammar.

“Oh, suck it,” I conclude. “You can go now, Professor Lupin. I get the point, and you get what I told you, so scram.”

He tilts his head to the side. “You called me professor.”

I look around the room. Is there another Remus I didn’t know about?

“Yes. I did,” I say boringly, opening my book again.

“Hm…” Remus thinks to himself as he gets up and leaves me, looking deep in thought at me calling him a professor.


Oh, what ever. Back to my book! My long waited and anticipated story of a orphan raised without-


Mother of Frank Longbottom, must you keep sending your child to Hogwarts?

I stare straight ahead, annoyed. “It’s alright, Frank. I’ll eventually turn the next page of my book within the next year, so please continue.” Can’t I at least turn to page two!?

Frank looks blank, like he doesn’t understand the fuss around me.

“Okay, what ever,” he says quickly, dismissing my annoyed attitude with weird hand movements.

“I need to know something.”

“Why does everyone think they can come to me for all the answers!? I’m not a damn encyclopedia. What could I possibly offer to you? You know everything!” I toss my book behind my head, almost across the room, tripping a Second Year walking down the steps.

Frank looks at me like I’ve grown another head. He looks back at the kid I threw my book at, and then he fixes himself on the couch. His face can be read easily. He’s giving me the ‘my god, you’re a violent little girl look’ mixed with Frank’s own twist on the ‘wtf’ face.

“No need to be on your period right now, Evans. It’s not that time of the month,” he says to me incredulously.

I glare at him as my eyes turn into slits.

“Chicks…” He rolls his eyes.

“Point of this visit is what?” I ask, aggravated.

“I have some personal questions for you.”


“What do you mean why? I have questions.”

I close my eyes and ask God for patience.

“No. I mean why do you have personal questions for me out of no where?”

“Oh. Right. Well. Certain events have come up and there are some situations that would be much easier for me to comprehend if they could clear up and make sense. You know, get all the parts and put it together; like a puzzle.”

“May I ask what certain events you are referring to?” I think have a hunch. His eyes go around the room and rest on James. Frank looks back at me, knowing I saw him in this transaction.

Said hunch was indeed correct.

“Wait, did Potter come to you for advice or something?” I say, getting a bit nosy.

He chuckles. “I am in no position or have the legal responsibility to answer those kinds of questions.”

I don’t speak. I just stare at the mystery that is Frank Longbottom.

“Okay…” I say slowly.

“Anyway, onto the real meat of this conversation-”

“Woah, woah, woah,” I start, cutting him off in the process. I put a hand up in front of Frank.


“Yes, meat,” he replies plainly. As if talking to me like this is some sort of hobby of his.

“What makes you think that I’m going to tell you anything? Or tell you the truth, for that matter?” I cross my arms.

He clasps his hands together, imitating Corleone in The Godfather.

“I know your going to tell me things, Red. I wouldn’t have come over here if I didn’t think so. And, I can tell if you’re lying.”

“Don’t call me Red.” My lips are pursed together.

I am defeated.

“There really is no fighting with you, is there Frank?”

“I’m glad you’ve finally caught on.” He turns his body on the couch so he’s facing me fully.

“If only Jessica Finelly was as bright as you and would get the hint.”

“Hey, now-”

“Ah, stop talking. I didn’t come here to talk about Jessica.”

For some reason I feel like smiling at his words.

“She really tickles your nerve, doesn’t she?”

“If you must know, yes; Finelly knows exactly what she does to drive me nuts. It annoys me and angers me to no end. Mainly because she has nothing better to do than push me to the limit.”

I chuckle. You know, in a way- not the completely same way, though because that would be impossible- Jessica is like Frank’s James Potter. James knows exactly what he does to drive me crazy, just like what Jessica’s doing to Frank. Except those two people are WAY different than James and I. Of course no one else in the world could compare to our behavior, not even Jessica and Frank. And that’s the sad thing.

I’m all alone. No one to run to for help!

“So, what kind of things has she done to you lately?” I ask him, trying to push the topic of conversation to make it about him.

“Don’t think you’re going to change the subject that easily, Evans.”

“Damn you.”

He laughs. I gape.

Did I say that out loud?!

I blink a couple times. WHAT IS GOING ON?

First I reconcile James’s name and call him ny his first name (only in my mind), then I accidentally use it in the open with Jessica, and now- everything I’m thinking in my head is being blurted out of my mouth without my consent!

NO, REALLY. I’m starting to think I have no control over what I say anymore.

It’s that darn little man. The one taking cover behind the brick walls of my mind. Formerly known as the He/She/It Inside My Head, I have come to the conclusion that it might be many things; but most likely a guy. So, get used to me calling him Little Man once and a while. Why, you ask?


There’s this little thing called sanity. And while I was contemplating if I had any at all, the idea dawned on me that the sex of the mutant in my brain is mostly likely going to be male. I don’t have good luck with the opposite sex. Everything that has to do with me and boys, even romantically, becomes confusing/frustrating, annoying to worry about, aggravating to obsess about, and eventually turns to shit. So in other words, the man inside my head WANTS my mind to cave in.

This is also the goal of James Potter. So, thank you, James. This is for you.

Be proud.

“Mind you, these questions are personal. Any minute now I’ll ask you them. But, I hope that you’ll find it in you to tell me in a way that you can deal with yourself. So you don’t feel guilty or uncomfortable, alright? I’ve never done this before and I don’t want to make you feel like shit. You seem to be doing that well on you own.”

The side of my mouth lifts up in a smile.

Did Frank just say he cared about me? In some way, did he just show friendship in saying what he did? I can’t help but smile.

“Oh, fuck. Don’t do that,” he whines, looking around the room and adverting his eyes.

“You trust me, don’t you? Or maybe, you think of me as a friend? You have a heart, Longbottom. Somewhere under that therapist, that doctor, that lawyer, that testosterone… you have a heart.”

“Let’s get one thing straight, I don’t trust anyone. I haven’t trusted anyone in a while and I’m not resurrecting any old traditions any time soon. I also do not think of you as a friend. I’ve come to realize that I don’t really choose who my friends are. What’s the difference between those that come to me to talk and the ones I run into to and converse with? There’s not really a difference between mates and ‘friends’,” he says, using air quotes.

“Wait a minute. You’re saying you don’t have any best mates?”

“No, no. Don’t do that either, Red. You make it sound like a bad thing. I’ve come to realize I’m not like other Gryffies. It’s not a problem. It’s a gift, well… I think it’s a gift; it was given to me for a reason. My talks, they must be worth something.”

“But, wait. You have all this responsibility to worry about others and you don’t even get a choice in creating a social atmosphere for yourself! And don’t call me Red.” I cannot believe it. Frank has sold his soul to helping others. And he called me Red again!

“Don’t psychoanalyze me, damn it. I’m no saint. Sometimes, I’m a bit of a pervert. Also, I don’t really like Quidditch. And honestly, If I’m not talking, I’m most likely listening to music on my discman. I detest Ipods. I’m a regular bloke with different views on life and weird opinions, ideas, and thoughts on things most people overlook. I’m fine with it. It’s not a bad thing. It’s not as much as a responsibility than it is a way for me to spend my time doing something I’m good at. Everyone else has a talent. This is my thing.”

“What ever you say, Frank.” I give up. Frank’s good at this. He’s not a Quidditch fan. He loves music. And he’s a pervert. There you go.

“Can we actually get to the questions now? Do you mind?” Frank’s face turns from content to annoyed.

“Fine, mister I’m No Saint.”

He laughs blackly. “You’re hilarious.” Oh, the sarcasm.

“I really am.” I innocently smile at him, trying to pull of the dimples like Jessica. But to no avail, I remember I don’t have dimples.

“On to the demands...”

“Okay, I’m ready.” I square myself with him.

“When the party in the Gryffindor common room started, and all that stuff happened with Diggory… were you shaken up by it?”

“You mean like ‘I was flipped upside down repeatedly until I puked’ kind of shaken up?”

“Ew. NO.” I try not to smile at the face he’s making.

“Did you think about how you knew Amos Diggory before the party? Did you contemplate why it happened? Stuff like that. Did it shake you up in that sense?”

“Yeah. I couldn’t believe it. I honestly thought he was a good person. I didn’t think he was that much of an arrogant prick.”

“Well said,” Frank tells me, impressed with what I called Amos. He claps once.

“Right, moving on. Do you know why James was ignoring you after the party?”

I look down. “No.”

“Did you have any idea why James pushed himself away from you?”

I swallow the lump forming in my throat. “I had no idea,” I say sadly. I felt like shit those weeks. All he did was help me, and I was so taken aback by Diggory and James’s actions for caring about me. He just ran away like a stupid little boy, and ignored me; ergo, making me feel like crap. Hell, I invented crap. I mean, HELLO! Take a glimpse at the True Hollywood Story of Lily Evans.

Frank sighs. “Okay. I know Remus was talking to you earlier, and I know that you two glanced at us. Was he asking you about James’s disturbing behavior acting up again?”

I’m dumbstruck. “You know about that?”

“I’ll take that as a yes.” He cracks his knuckles and asks me another question.

“What happened today between you and James?” I look at Frank fully, just to make sure he really just asked me that. “Don’t tell me that he talked to you about that,” I spit out at him.

“Now, now. Calm yourself. I’m not saying he did or didn’t. But I can tell something happened today. I’ve been observing his attitude and what he does when he’s with his mates. He’s acting different. This isn’t the first time… But today, it stopped. Do you want to share that with me?”


“I’m going to leave out some details. But mainly, he flat out told me that he could outsmart me in any game that I was willing to play with him.” I lean back on the pillows. Did you think I was going to share the bit about falling down on top of each other and reveal what kind of undies I had on? Like hell I was.

“Thank you, Evans. That’s all I need.” He lifts himself from the sofa and walks up the stairs to the Sixth Year boys’ dormitory.

Hm? Did that just happen?

All these weird encounters tonight… I dunno about it. Kind of eerie, isn’t it? Like this is some sort of sitcom Dumbledore tunes in to watch every night… Alright, now I’m taking that a bit too far.

I glance around the room to find it surprisingly empty. Almost everyone’s gone to bed. I retrieve the book I threw across the room and I sit on the ground, leaning my back on the coffee table, and position my book on my knees. I stare at the empty chimney. Finally, some peace and quiet for my book! In my peripheral vision I see someone come and stand in front of me. My eyes bulge at this and I try to ignore it.

Maybe if I pretend that what happened today never really occurred… I might just learn to live with it and move on? I’ll just try to act as if he never saw my underwear at all. I concentrate so hard on the page of the novel that I start to get a headache. And I start to sweat.

“I won’t tell him,” James says to me quietly.

I lift my head up and look at James. His hands are in his pockets and he’s looking down at the floor.

“What?” For the first time in a while, my mouth truly drops down to my knees.

“Do I honestly need to repeat myself?” He doesn’t say it as if I it’s a question.

“I don’t understand,” I say. I am so shocked. He must be pulling my leg…

“I won’t tell Sirius it was you,” he states. James is looking at me straight in the face. Not tell Sirius? His best mate? James’s right hand man? I must be delusional. James can’t be serious.

“He’s your best friend, you tell each other everything,” I say as if it’s not obvious.

“One secret won’t kill him.” There’s that damn twinkle in his eye. Yep, those behavior adjustments he went through definitely ended today. “Are you serious?” I ask.

“Nope. I’m James.” Before I can open my mouth to yell at him he interrupts me again, with a chuckle in his voice. “There are always going to be some things best mates will keep from each other; this being one of them.” He gives me a small smile, kind of.

Did that honestly just occur in front of my eyes, sweet earth?

James Potter isn’t going to rat me out to his BFF?

That’s so- Respectful? Well, in a way.

Sweet? No. No. James is not sweet. What he’s doing definitely isn’t sweet. Nope. Absolutely no way.

Fair? Eh, okay. That seems suitable, I think.

James is walking up the stairs to bed. “Besides, I’ve got one hell of a mental picture of you to keep in my mind. It would spoil my fantasy if I shared it with Sirius.”

No, James doesn’t do ‘sweet’.

I'm done with chapter 16!!! OH, and please don't say anything about the grammar and the flow of the story, I know this chappie is a bit random and choppy >_<
Review please! And hey, lemme know your favorite quotes! I love reading those :]

Leslie Toudren.
Yes, the rich girl who snogged James.

Alessandra Ambrossio. LOL. Just picture her with blonde hair.