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LOVE & BROOMSTICKS by StepUpx_Gryffindor

Format: Novel
Chapters: 35
Word Count: 216,870
Status: WIP

Rating: Mature
Warnings: Strong Language, Mild Violence, Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Substance Use or Abuse, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme

Genres: Humor, Romance, Young Adult
Characters: Lupin, Sirius, F. Longbottom, Lily, James, Pettigrew, OC
Pairings: James/Lily, Sirius/OC, Other Pairing

First Published: 07/23/2006
Last Chapter: 03/09/2015
Last Updated: 03/09/2015


You know what I hate? Having James Potter as your playmate as a child, & then having him turn into an egotistical pig as soon as we both set foot in Hogwarts. All the jokes, teasing, cat-calling... I can't stand it! I can't stand him. James Potter may have that devlishly handsome grin going for him, but I'm not falling for it! I've survived him for 5 years & I'm sure I can make it through my Sixth Year without him... I think?

Chapter 13: Rats, Bunnies, And Cottages In The Yonder

A/N- LOVELY PEOPLE! YAY! I have finished the next insallement of dear Lily's wonderful life! This chapter was really fun to write and I hope you like it. Oh, and I'd like to clear up some questions about my updates: I know that you've notice I've been updating more often than I was before. Sometimes I could only update once a couple months! And I've really improved since then.

I would ask you all to please refrain from asking me if I can update as quickly as I can, because I already am. I appreciate all the great comments and reviews, I really do! And I also understand that you really want me to submit chapters quickly, but the fastest I can do is about one chapter every two weeks or so. So please, don't ask me to update faster than that, because I just simply can't. There are not enough hours in the day for me to do so.

Thank you all for supporting this story :]
You guys are honestly what keep me going!



The fury inside me could light every torch in Hogwarts. I feel so many emotions all at once. And what pains me the most is that I don’t know why I feel this way. Why should I care? Can’t I get over it? Why do I have to get hot and bothered? I just don’t know anymore. I slam the door to the common room and Remus notices me huffing.




“Not now, Remus.” I hold up a hand to silence him as I walk towards the stairs. He put his book down and jumps over the couch to me.


“Wait, hold on.” He stands in front me and gives me a nudge to stop walking. Does he not know the manners of etiquette? Ladies go first, and you do not block women! If I was in the eighteenth century, he’d get a little ass whooping for that.


I have no idea where that came from.


“Did you talk to him?”


I give him my ‘wtf’ face.


“Alright, you obviously seem pissed.”


“NO. REALLY?” I say sarcastically.


“So, that means you talked to Prongs, right? You’re always pissy around him.”


“I am not always ‘pissy’ around him,” I clarify. Pissy? Is that even a word?


He rolls his eyes. “Whatever. What did you say to him?”


I give him my questioning look with my quirky eyebrow. “Why are you so interested?”


“Oh, well, I just- I wanted to-”


“Make sure that you weren’t responsible for any of the things I said?”


Remus opens and closes his mouth a couple times. He looks at the floor with his head hanging as he surrenders. “Yes,” he mumbles.


I give him a little slap on the cheek. Not enough to hurt him, but enough to get his attention. “I didn’t name drop. Not that I had a chance; I didn’t talk to him.”


He pops his head up. “What?! You didn’t sort out anything with him? Then why do you look like you wanna throw someone at the plasma television?”


“Well, Remus. One finds it hard to talk to someone who’s too busy snogging someone else.”


“Are you kidding me?” he grumbles as he suffocates his entire face with his hands. I didn’t know this stressed him out so much…


“No. Stop. You’re going rip your cheeks off.”


He pulls his hands further down his face so his eyes pop up from the tip of his fingers. He looks like an alien.


“That’s attractive.”


“Lily. You don’t understand. He’s an idiot-”


“-Ha!” I throw my hands up.


“And I know that you and James are not so good right now but for my sake, and for the marauders’ sake, you two need to talk. I’m tired of hearing him complain and moan, and I’m tired of seeing him act so SILENT at the same time! I feel like he’s switching his personality everyday. You have no idea how he’s been acting.”


I contort my face in rage as I almost lunge at Remus, but he quickly fixes his words.


“I MEAN! I MEAN- around you, it’s different. But when you’ve hung around the same person for so many years, you tend to know what they’re like, do you not!?”


I huff.


“And…” he continues, “We’re all sick of how out of it he is. All we know is that this whole problem has nothing to do with us; you and James need to figure this out. If not, he’s going to keep acting like someone we don’t know. It’s so weird, Lily. Something caused this. Peter and Sirius haven’t noticed it; that he’s like this because it’s a reaction to something. Heaven knows my best brothers aren’t too smart-”


“-That’s an understatement…” He pauses and gives me a look as if he’s telling me to behave.


“Okay, go on. Go on. I won’t interrupt,” I say.


“Wormtail and Padfoot just think that he’s going through some sort of phase or he’s nervous about something or- Okay, look. They don’t think this is the aftermath of something that happened, okay? Just the total opposite. But there’s no doubt in MY mind that something struck him, or the both of you, hard in the gut. And he’s either rebelling or trying to ease his soul with some demented form of therapy.”




I cross my arms. “So I guess that I’m not the only one suffering from this?” I question amusingly.


“Trust me, Lily. We’re his boys. If he doesn’t share this with us, then something is definitely wrong. Only you and James can work this out. Now I’m sorry that he was snogging someone when you found him, but this is up to you. If he doesn’t realize what he’s doing is socially disturbing to all of us, then he won’t come around and face you. So, I say that you should make him face you,” he tells me, with emphasis on the last for words.


I smirk. “That’s exactly what I was thinking.”






“Then why did you barge in here and try to hurry up to your room?”


“For one, I didn’t really feel like explaining my pissed off situation to anyone, but I guess you changed that around to your liking.”


“Er, sorry.” He scratches his head.


“And two, I was thinking of taking charge of this ‘situation’ up in my room,” I say, using my air quotes. “My best friend and I are very good in that department, don’t you agree?”


For a split second I see his cheeks redden. But he shakes it off and asks me, “So, what will you be doing in your room now that I’ve given you some kind of background support for this?”


I smile and say, “Plotting.”





“I’m going to pretend like nothing happened,” I conclude.


Jessica looks at me like I’m mad. She crosses her legs on her bed. “You’re not letting him off that easy…” she tells me forcefully.


“No, Jessica, that’s the thing. He won’t be expecting it. Potter’s going to wait for me to yell at him, or explode a fit of rage in his face the next time I see him. I’ll give him something like the silent treatment. He wanted to ignore me? Hah. Fine. He had his week. Now it’s my chance to mess with his head. When he asks me something, I’ll answer calmly-”


Jessica chucks a shoe at my face.


“Shut up and listen,” she says. “I don’t know why the hell you’ve become so set on messing with his head when we could be MESSING WITH HIS FACE.” She opens her hands wide as if her solution is the most obvious.


“I know, I know. But just hear me out, okay?”


She crosses her arms and rolls her eyes.


“He’s not going to know how to react to this, and in a way, he’ll be acting like a stranger in his own skin. This is what I had to go through these past several days, and now he’s going to know what it feels like.”


I stare at Jessica for a couple minutes.

“Well… I guess I understand. And yes, I agree that he’ll have his lesson. But come on, I wanna tackle him!”


“… Is there a reason why you’ve become so violent?”


“Frank Longbottom has ruined my day,” she concludes.


“I don’t understand why you feel so threatened by him,” I take a seat next to her.




She huffs and looks forward.


“Alright… Well you seem to find him annoying.”


“Yes, I find him annoying. Not threatening. He’s not exactly scary,” Jessica says.


“But you’ve never acted this way before. Can you please tell me why this hostility has appeared all of a sudden?”


She pouts at me. “I don’t know.”


I blink. “What?”


“I have no idea, Lily! It’s just that every single time I see him I just wanna shove my book up-”


“Okay, okay!” I put my hands up, signaling her to stop.


She covers her face. “You’re not the only one whose head is being messed with. I have a hated annoyance with someone I haven’t even had as much as a conversation with for the past six years!” Jessica falls back on her pillow.


“Everyone’s too damn frustrated,” I conclude, putting my fingers to my temple.







During dinner, Frank walks passed us to use the bathroom, and Jessica gives him a look. They have a little staring contest until he’s out the doors of the Great Hall. I laugh at this. Jess looks at me.


“This is not funny,” she says.


“Mhm…” I shove more green beans into my mouth.


She holds her head up with her arm. “I’m going to figure this out, don’t you worry. Man, this is so annoying…”


“Maybe you like him,” I say, reaching for the peas.


“Hah! As if. I am not attracted to Frank,” she responds, making puking noises.


I roll my eyes. “Maturity, please.”


“You always ask for maturity when you’re talking to me.”


“I know,” I laugh.


“Hey, I can be mature! I just choose not too.”


“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here, have some hummus.”


“Stop trying to feed me.”


“You didn’t eat anything for lunch! Come on, now. You have to be hungry.”


“I’m not hungry at all, actually,” she says, shrugging her shoulders.


“That’s impossible.”


“I have too many things to worry about. Like why I can’t find Frank to be anything more than irritating.”


“But haven’t you been worrying about that since our first encounter with him this school year? You just told me about this problem. How can that possibly take your hunger away?”


“Now that I told you about this whole weird Frank situation, I feel more open. But it’s kind of just making me more nervous. I have no idea why. I mean, what’s there to be nervous about? My mind is just on fixing things right now, in my brain, up here,” she pokes her forehead a couple of times. “If I don’t figure this out quickly I’m going to starve. Or worse, I’m going to turn into you.”


I stare blankly at her.


“Just kidding,” Jess smiles. She shoulder hugs me.




_four hours later_


“Yes! Friday night!” Peter bellows as he comes through the common room. He stops and puts his arms down from his chant as he sees me. It soon becomes awkward and he walks away.


So I guess you could say this is the anniversary of me destroying a Gryffindor party.


I’m going to have to learn to deal with the Fridays to come because I hope people won’t give me looks every time they see me on the weekend. The last thing I want to do is make it awkward for everyone. Peter Pettigrew has been one of many people that have stopped to look at me awkwardly today. As far as I know, there are no parties. So no worries, Hogwarts students. Lily, the worst partier ever, will not be crashing anything. I felt so out of place once, and I’m not planning on doing it again. And don’t worry, Amos Diggory. I might not have run into you yet, but when I do, I’m going to hurt you.


No, really. I’m going to give him a good yelling if I see him. Especially if he doesn’t apologize! That bastard. My life has become a bit more screwed up, do you not agree? I think I’ve become a bit bitchy. I don’t know. Do you think I have? Meh.


Enough talk about bad memories…


I’ve decided that I’m going to try and get a job. I know, I know. I’m at school, and there’s no way I can go out of this building for an occupation. But I was thinking that for extra money, I could work at Hogsmeade. When we’re allowed to go down to Hogsmeade later in the year I could go out for something! I could look for a job that’s only on Saturdays. I’m sure there are stores and boutiques that can use an extra hand when students come around their town.


“I’ve heard a lot of things today.”


Frank sits next to me on the couch.


“Yeah? Like what?” I say with fake interest.


“I’ll spare you the details, but some of them were interesting.”


“I can only guess what they were about.”


“I’m sorry for what happened. That was honestly one situation I heard about that I never really knew about. People were gossiping about it. And I thought, what really went down? But I never really knew.”


“I’m surprised. You usually know everything and just keep your mouth shut.”


“Yeah, I know. Well there were a lot of different stories I found out about today.”


“Let me set things straight before you go on: Amos Diggory tried to have his way with me, and he got me drunk. Before anything happened, the marauders came and helped me out. Jessica was comforting me. I don’t know if Diggory even liked me the whole time,” I conclude.


After a long minute he says something. “I’m sorry for that. If I was there, or if I knew anything about it, I would have done something to make him pay.”


I can’t help but smile. “I never expected you to be so loyal.” I’m shocked at the sincerity in his voice. I guess I can call him a friend now?


He shrugs his shoulders. “I’m always loyal,” he smiles. “After all that stuff I heard today, I feel like throwing him off the balcony in the Astronomy Tower.”




“I know. What ever reason he had to ask me out, the world will never know. He should have known that I’m not like the other girls he’s gone out with. I can only imagine the stories people told you today, based on what they saw of that Diggory/Potter fight.”


“Some people were even saying Diggory went out with you just to make James jealous.”


I feel like putting my head between my knees.


“I don’t know what to think, Frank. My life was never like this. It was weird, yes, but never this nerve racking. Does everybody’s life turn upside down during Sixth Year?”

“Probably.” He scratches his head and makes his hair stand up on end. Woah, just like Ja- GOD DAMN IT.


Before I know it, Frank and I talk for the next hour. That is, until Sirius comes down stairs and starts yelling for Emma Tebbon with Peter hot on his tail.


“Sirius, don’t!”


“My dearest Peter, you must understand-”




“- I have transformed into my poetic twin. I will rise above!” He bellows.


Peter looks at him with his mouth hanging open and eyebrows meshed together.


“Above WHAT?”


“I don’t know. What ever poets rise above, Wormtail.”


Peter sighs. “I heard your poem Sirius, and trust me; you don’t wanna say it to any human, animal, or magical creature.”


“Ha! I don’t think so. My poem is a work of art. Don’t fool yourself, Peter. You loved it. You almost cried.”


“I was going to cry for a different reason, Sirius.”


“Whatever, it’s too late now,” he says and waves off Peter. “I didn’t memorize this whole poem for nothing.”


“Fine! I just hope you don’t come crying to me when you get slapped.” Peter throws his hands in the air and stalks off.


Emma walks down the girls’ stairway wearing a hooded sweatshirt and one of the many pairs of dark jeans she owns. She sees Sirius and rolls her eyes.


“Some one said you were screaming for me?”


Out of no where, Sirius bursts out laughing. Oh, God.


He’s such a stupid immature hormonally crazed pervert.


Emma glares at him and crosses her arms. A pink tint finds its way to her cheeks. I can tell she is starting to get mad. “Try not to be a total teenage dog,” she snaps.


This just makes him laugh more. Emma takes off her left shoe, getting ready to chuck it at his head, when Sirius controls himself and chuckles a bit.


He puts his hands up as if to tell her to not do anything. “Okay, okay. Sorry. I couldn’t help it. You’ve got to admit it was funny.”


“Imbecile,” Emma mutters.


“Anyway, I wanted to remind you of our bet, in case you had forgotten.”


“Oh, I didn’t forget. I just wanted to give you as much time as possible. I wanted to be generous. I mean I don’t wanna feel bad when you’ll be wearing that dunce cap on your head all next week. It’s not forgetfulness, Black. It’s sincerity. I have a heart you know.”


He raises one eyebrow. “How sweet of you,” Sirius says disbelievingly.


She fakes a smile in response.


“Well, I don’t need anymore time. I have created my poem, and I will woo everyone in this room very soon. My darkness has come!”


“…What darkness?” Emma asks, perplexed.


Sirius’s face goes blank as he ponders about what he just said.


“I don’t know,” he responds.


“Are you serious?” I ask.


Sirius turns to me and tells me, “Yes, I am. That’s my name. Don’t wear it out.”


I turn back around on the couch and rest my head on my hand.

I’m not going to deal with him. I’m just going to sit here and pretend he didn’t take stupid pills this morning…


“This is gonna be one hell of an entertaining bet,” Frank says, smirking.


I look at him with pity.


“Why do things like this happen?”


Frank is amused. “We’re Gryffindor kids. Like we have a choice…”


We look back at them. They’re fighting.


Of course.




“Sirius Black! Stop that this instant! I don’t remember telling you that you had to have an audience.”


Everyone turns their attention to Sirius. Emma looks absolutely embarrassed. For a Friday night, there are a lot of people here in the common room. Half of them are from Ravenclaw and there’s a corner near the window that have some people from Hufflepuff. If Sirius does what I think he’s going to do, he’s not only going to embarrass himself, but he’s going to give the other Houses a reason to tease Emma.




“Oh, get ON with it!” Emma throws her hands in the air.


Sirius glares at her for a split second before he clears his throat loudly.


I am here, you are there…” Sirius starts.


Very original.


And I find, that a bear…


Sweet biscuits.


An animal, not the other kind of bear…


At this point I’m covering my face with a pillow. Kill me now. “As if there’s any other kind,” I hear Frank mumble. “I think he’s talking about the word bare,” I muffle behind my pillow. Frank chuckles. Sirius takes dramatic pauses between what I think are his poetic stanzas.


Resembles the fierceness in you; which is FUNNY, because you don’t look like a bear. Oh look, it is SUNNY!” Sirius points out the window.


It’s dark out.


The blinding light of the sun, makes me want to run. But then I say, HEY! And I start to think, what kind of animal are you exact-LAY?


Is this what he calls ‘rhyming’? Just a question.


I ponder, out through the yonder” – he guides with his hands – “Through the fields of grain, frolicking, as if I’m in the rain…


Sirius jumps around like a deer.


I’m afraid to watch this. “Tell me what happens, Frank.” I bury my entire face in the pillow.


“Hah, okay.”


I hear thumps on the ground coming from Sirius’s prances.


“He just dug in his pocket and took out a yellow rain hat. He’s fastening it to his head,” Frank tells me.


And then I trip and land on a beet. It hurts like a rat squished under a mouse trap by its feet!”


“Peter just got really mad. He’s fuming.”


“Why?” I ask Frank.


“I dunno.”


I pick up the bloody beet, and cook it with meat. When I take my first bite, I see clearly…Finally! You are the rabbit, which eats the beat. I have taken away your FOOD, which has put you in really bad MOOD because now you’re going to starve…” He rushes out the last sentence to keep up with the rhythm of his poem.


I feel bad, because I know you are mad. I see you, the rabbit, outside my bushes of daisies outside my cottage in the yonder, and you ponder. There is another beet on the ground, which I pick up because it is something I have found. I give it to YOU, and you morph out of the BLUE…


“Is this poem ever going to end?” I grumble.


Into the princess inside of YOU! I think to myself, if I was Romeo, would you be my Juliet!?




“He’s moving towards her. I’m honestly going to burst out in laughter if he tries to pounce…” Frank says.


This time I take my head out of the pillow and chuck it behind me. I hear somebody say, “Ow! It poked me in the eye!” behind me, but I’m too concentrated on Emma and Sirius to care. Emma’s face is drained from all emotion, and her mouth is practically falling down to her knees.


I believe, truly believe, that you should give me something in return. I know the SIN that lies WITHIN; I have written my poem, which means I WIN. My pet, this is the last part of the bet…


And without a final word relating to rats, bunnies, and cottages in the yonder, Sirius takes off his rain hat in lightening speed (and whips it at me, by the way) and puts his arms around Emma… And plants a passionate kiss right on her lips.

AHAHAHA! yes! It was inevitable xD

Yours, truly...

Emma Tebbon =]