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Diary Dilemma by promise_me_rain

Format: One-shot
Chapters: 1
Word Count: 1,795

Rating: 12+
Warnings: Mild Language

Genres: Fluff, Humor
Characters: Hermione, Fred, George, Ginny

First Published: 09/21/2007
Last Chapter: 01/15/2008
Last Updated: 01/15/2008


They are so dead.
Dead as in not living.
I will murder them both.
What kind of cruel and unusual punishment is this?  Stealing my diary...

**Thanks to AddysenMalfoy for the banner :)

Chapter 1: Diary Dilemma

A/N: Okay so this was a one-shot I wrote one rainy day. You can think I'm horrid, fabulous, whatever but please, please, please leave a review. It would really mean a lot. Thank youuuu and I hope you enjoy.

They are so dead. 

Dead as in not living. 

I will murder them both. 

What kind of cruel and unusual punishment is this, stealing my diary? 

Bloody Fred. 

Bloody George. 

I scream at the top of my lungs. 

They are so dead. 

Hermione saw Fred and George leaving my room and laughing. 

And now my diary’s gone. 

My sock drawer is turned inside out. 

Beyond dead. 


Oh man, what's happened to Ginny? 

I’ll bet Ron let Pigwidgeon out of his cage again and he shit all over Gin’s floor. 

That’s what she was yelling about this morning. 

And the morning before.

And the morning before that.

And probably yelling about now. 


When I’m away in Romania, I really miss my family. 

Then I come back here and try not to sprint for the door. 


Ginny’s cry echoes through the burrow. 


“Run for it,” George grins. 

“Thank Merlin mum’s not home.” 

I sprint out the door. 


Who is making all that racket? 

And why? 

I have an important cauldron bottom essay I must complete. 

Why must everyone be shouting? 

It sounds like Ginny. 

Why is Ginny shouting? 

And now there are raging footsteps above my head, must the twins always run about? 

No wonder neither of them were made Head Boy.

Just like I was. 


I cannot believe them! 

Not at all! 

They are the limit! 

They aren’t in their room. Where did they go? 

They cannot, 


cannot have my diary! 

And I can’t tell mum and dad they stole it. 

Not like that time they stole my diary in my First Year and had to give it back. 

I’m not allowed a diary anymore- not after second year. 

Oh, come on, I know you know why. 

Sneaky- dishonest- lying- prats. 

“Where are you two!?” 


What the bleeding hell is going on? 

I swear- if dad doesn’t get back soon, we’ll miss getting to Harry’s to pick him up. 

And then the Muggles will probably try to shove him down the toilet. 

That would be funny actually. 

But not for Harry. 

But, you know, in hindsight. 

Who the hell is shouting? 

“Who the hell is shouting?” I yell outside my bedroom door. 

Fred and George come running up the stairs and push past into my room. 

“You are, dung brains,” says Fred as he jumps under my bed. 


“Hey kids! Come on let’s go get Harry!” 

Why does dad have to come home now? 

I’m right outside the attic, Ron’s room. 

So close. 

I know the twins are in there.

“Hi Dad!” 

“Come on down here Ginny!” 


So close. 

“Be right there!” 

“Now, Gin!” 




“Dad’s hooooome!” Fred shouts. 

“Haha, Ginny can’t get us now!” George jumps out and runs down the stairs. 

Fred follows. 

Thanks guys. 

Thanks a lot.

Way to be considerate of personal space. 

My personal space. 

But wait! 

This means we’re getting Harry! 



They left. 

I cannot believe them. 

Maybe they left my diary. 

But they wouldn’t. 

I’m pretty sure that thing in Fred’s pocket was my diary. 

Such jerks. 

Ugh, mum’s home. 


Harry’s here. 

Oh Merlin! 

Harry’s here! 

And the twins still have my diary!

And Harry's here!


I- I- I don’t know what to do. 

Hermione said to relax. 

Be myself. 




Harry’s here! 

Oh no! 


Ginny seems really pissed. 

I mean, beyond pissed. 

At Fred and George. 

They usually get along really well. 

I don’t get it. 

And she was yelling earlier- oh well, Harry’s here. 

I’m happy. 

And hungry. 

Thank Merlin for mum’s cooking. 


“Thank God everyone’s at the table otherwise Ginny would have our head.” 

“Yeah, I know,” Fred whispered back. 

“What are you two whispering about down there?” Mum snapped. 

“Nothing,” we shrug together. 

I smile at Ginny and she glowers. 

“Do you think Bill will ever let mum cut his hair?” 

No chance. 

“No chance.” 



I don’t understand what’s going on. 

Ginny seems pissed at everyone, myself included. 

What happened? 

I didn’t do anything. 

I swear.

At least- I don't think I did.

Last year she was fawning over me all the time and now- 

Well, let’s just say she won’t even look at me. 

I’ll ask Ron later. 


Poor Ginny. 

I cannot believe they took her diary like that. 

How awful. 

And look, she’s all red in the face. 

I told her not to worry.

They probably won't read it.

That was a lie, actually.

This is so embarrassing for her; she’s all flushed. 

Actually, come to think of it I should locate my diary. 

And hide it. 

So Fred and George don’t take it.

Just in case.


“I- can’t- get- the- bleeding- thing- open!” 

“Give it here!” 

“No, I’ll do it!” 

“What are you two doing?” 


Get the book under the bed! 

“Nothing,” I say. 

“No more Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes, you hear me?” 

“’Course not mum.” 


She leaves. 

“Well, what, Alohamora won’t work?” 

“Nah, it’s got some charm on it so it won’t work.” 

“Is Ginny that advanced in magic?” 

“Dunno, I never knew she was this bright.” 



I cannot find my own diary. 

Oh wait, there it is. 

I wonder what its doing in Ginny’s underwear drawer. 

I could have sworn I had put it at the bottom of my bag. 

Oh, I probably moved it when I was getting out my school books. 

I mean, I dropped my pen in the sock drawer early and threw all the socks on the floor. 


Should clean that up. 


“I got it!” 

“You did?” 


“Open it! Open it!” 

“I’m going.” 

“Hurry up! I want to read it before Ginny gets here.” 

“What? And hexes us to pieces? A third year? Naw.” 

“You never know she might invent some crazy hex with… oh, I don’t know, flying bogies attacking people.” 

“Honestly, Fred, I swear your imagination is just beyond bizarre.” 

“Whatever, just read it.” 

“Oh no.” 


"Just look..."

"Oh no."


“So, what’s up with Ginny?” 

“Dunno, I think she’s mad at Fred and George, they ran into my room earlier and hid under my bed. Gits.” 

Well, maybe she’s just mad. 

In general.

At everyone.

Perhaps I’ll get my fan club back by the end of the week. 

If only Colin were here… 


“Arthur, Ginny’s been acting oddly, don’t you think, dear?” 


Why does he never pay attention? 

Merlin knows I love the man but… 

“Ginny. Odd, no?” 

“Wha- oh yeah, I think she’s mad at the twins.” 

Isn’t she always? 


“Shit, George.” 

“Fred, fuck!” 

“But then why is Ginny pissed?” 

“Maybe they don’t know.” 

“This is embarrassing.” 

“We have to fix this now.” 


“Without getting murdered.” 

“Well, it was a misunderstanding.” 

“A mistake.” 

“Anyone can make those.” 

“Yeah, anyone.” 

“Okay, let’s go.” 

“Don’t get caught.” 


“Hermione what’s that?” 

“What’s what?” 

“That in your hands!” 

My diary? 

“My diary?” 

“You mean my diary?” 

But- but it’s mine. 

“But it’s mine. It says Hermione Jean Granger on the back.” 

“No it doesn’t.” 

“Yes it does look!” 

Oh no. 

Oh no. 

Oh no. 

It does not say Hermione Jean Granger on the back. 

It has no name on the back. 

This is not my diary. 


“Oh no.” 



“Okay well poke your head around and see if anyone’s in there.” 



They’re both there. 

And now Ginny’s seen me. 

And- OWW! 

“Gin, not cool!” 

That would be my eye. 

And the corner of a book. 


And it’s painful. 

I look like I’m crying. 

Like a bleeding pansy. 


“Get in here!” 

“Not if you’re going to poke my eye out!” 

“Now, Fred!” 

They come in. 

“You both deserve to die.” 

“That’s a little harsh, Gin.” 

“Poor Hermione.” 

“Hermione, we’re sorry.” 

“Yeah, we thought it was Gin’s.” 

“We wouldn’t have taken it if we’d known.” 


I go up to her to give her a hug. 

Since I feel like such a prat, I whisper, “Ron likes you too. It’s obvious.” 

"But- but- how do you- how do-?"

"We don't only steal Ginny's diary."

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