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Dark Memories by Tom_DracosGirl

Format: Short story
Chapters: 6
Word Count: 16,906
Status: COMPLETED

Rating: Mature
Warnings: Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme

Genres: Drama, Mystery, Romance
Characters: Luna, Draco
Pairings: Draco/Luna

First Published: 05/21/2007
Last Chapter: 05/21/2008
Last Updated: 02/15/2009

Summary:


Full credit & Loads of Thanks to Secret_Soul for the fab banner! Luna Lovegood has always thought of Draco Malfoy as the mean Slytherin whos always causing upset and trouble where ever he goes. But when she accidentally ends up locked in a broom cupboard with him she sees him in a different light. Why is he so scared? He's going mad, all because of his Dark Memories.


Chapter 5: There's More

A/N: Thanks to everyone who has been lovely enough to let me know what you think of this story. Here's the next chapter & I hope you enjoy it. Please rememebr to tell me if you did.

Chapter 5

There’s More

Luna blinked quickly in the sudden deafening silence, staring stupidly at him. Had she just heard him right?

“What?” she breathed, hardly daring to speak and totally unable to drag her eyes from his.

“You heard me,” Draco replied quietly.

No, she hadn’t heard him. Or if she had heard him, she hadn’t heard correctly. She couldn’t have. It was impossible that Draco had said what she thought he had said.

“I…I don’t…. I…. Why?” Luna stuttered helplessly, she didn’t know what to say to him.

What did you say to that except why? Was there even an answer? What could his father possibly have said to justify that?

Releasing the pressure off her shoulders Draco straightened up flinging his arms wide and sneering down at her. “Because I am a Malfoy, a pure blood and I need to act accordingly,” he informed her, his voice a frighteningly good imitation of his fathers.

He watched Luna as she watched him. Her eyes that had never been on the small side had widened to the size of saucers and seemed to fill her face, swirling with horror and an underlying disbelief. Draco knew it wasn’t disbelief at him, Luna believed him, she just found it difficult to accept that a father would do something like that, especially as her father seemed to be the father that he would have liked to have had.

Slowly she raised her hands to rub at the alternate shoulders. She looked to be thinking very carefully about her next move.

“Sorry,” he indicted her shoulders.

“It’s ok,” Biting on her bottom lip she shifted uncomfortably. “I don’t understand. Why? How could someone do that?”

“We’re talking about my father, Luna, not just anyone,” Draco reminded her.

Luna tilted her head and surveyed him closely. He looked ever so slightly calmer at having told her, although she wasn’t sure if he wanted to go into details about it and she certainly didn’t want to hear it. However, Luna was willing to listen to Draco if he felt that he wanted to tell her.

She thought how funny it was that only earlier she had been thinking of how people presented masks to the world, and now Draco Malfoy was stripping his mask away and revealing the real Draco. The real Draco Malfoy was far from the mean, unfeeling, spiteful Slytherin he played on a regular bases. The person he was painted to be didn’t really exist, there was just the frightened boy before her who looked lost and had no faith or trust in anyone other than himself.

Taking deep breaths Luna ventured to speak quietly to him. “Your father locked you in a…..” she trailed off when his eyes rested back on her face, somehow it felt that if she didn’t say it aloud it wasn’t real.

“A coffin. Yes he did, and in…. never mind, it doesn’t matter. I’ve told you enough as it is.”

Draco shook his head, trying to clear away the mental pictures that swam through his mind, if he could call them that, there wasn’t much to picture being shut up in the dark for hours on end. It wasn’t the pictures that haunted him in his dreams, but the sounds.

The sounds rushed upon him, assaulting his memory, forcing themselves into his subconscious and echoing around his head. At first it had happened all the time, with hard work and determination,  Draco had learnt to block it out, push them from him and keep them at arms length until the night. The night was always the worst, and if something particularly bad happened during the day, even now he could wake up in a cold sweat remembering.

He shuddered. If Luna hadn’t been there with him today he’d have ended up having a breakdown. Draco knew he would always be grateful to Luna for trying to help him. She had done what she had thought to be best, she had offered a sympathetic ear for his troubles. Luna had been the one to sooth him when his mind spiralled out of control and his crazy fears erupted within him. 

“If you want to know I’ll tell you,” he offered.

Hesitantly his hands reached for her shoulders. Luna automatically flinched, her shoulders had taken all the rough treatment they were able to take for one day, she couldn’t stand him gripping her again.

“I’m sorry, Luna, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“I know you didn’t. It’s ok.” Wrapping her arms protectively around her waist she allowed his fingers to tenderly knead the soreness in her shoulders. Luna winced slightly, before glancing up at him through her lashes. “If you can tell me then I’ll listen, Draco.”

Draco nodded but remained silent for a long time, concentrating on massaging her shoulders. Luna was very frail and delicately built he realised. She was actually quite small, tiny in fact, she barely came up to his shoulder.

He could appreciate now the fear she must have felt from him towering over her and acting like a lunatic. Draco wondered at this tiny blonde who everyone referred to as loony. She had been the one who had offered her support to him even when she was afraid of him. Luna Lovegood had been the one he had leant on for comfort, he had held onto her, wrapped himself around her and tried to surround himself with the now extremely familiar sent of her because he had needed her.

Draco hadn’t needed anyone as much as he had needed Luna today since he was little, and unlike others in his life she had been there. Luna hadn‘t walked away or shut him out, but had held on to him, let him touch her and be close to her. She was still there now, watching him apprehensively, chewing on her bottom lip.

“I always knew I was a pureblood, that the Malfoy name was one to be respected, feared even to a certain extent. My father instilled that into me from a very young age, he always wanted a son and he wanted to make sure that I didn’t let him down, let the Malfoy family honour down. If you’re a Malfoy you can’t be weak, you can’t cry. You need to be strong, need to know that you're superior to everyone else; especially muggles, mud-bloods and blood traitors. That’s the way it is, and you have to conduct yourself appropriately even when you're little.”

Luna didn’t respond, she had no answer to give, this wasn’t a subject that she could relate to having never had that kind of teaching forced upon her.

Draco smiled crookedly at her, tilting his head slightly he said, “Would you believe me if I said I once had a friend who was a muggle?”

Luna considered his question carefully before answering, she didn’t want things to come out wrong and hurt his feelings. “Um...well, that depends. Going on what people say about you then no. But, I don’t know you do I? Come to think of it, they don’t know you either, so I don’t really know, but I wouldn’t expect you to have a muggle friend. No.”

Draco shrugged moving to lean against the wall beside her, suddenly needing to be close to her again if he was actually going to do this and tell her the complete truth behind his nightmares.

“I live out in the country,” he began to explain. “There’s not much to do now, but when you're younger it’s like a whole world of adventure is waiting for you. I was out in the woods one day in the summer and happened to bump into another board boy who was my age and we decided to be board together. That’s how it went for weeks, me and Jack would just hang out, do nothing, climb trees, swim in the river just normal stuff. Nothing too exciting when you think about it. Execpt to us it was great, there were no parents or any kind of grown up to tell us what to do and not to get dirty.”

“Boys always get dirty,” Luna agreed, smiling up at him encouragingly.

Draco sniggered a little, “Yeah we do, and I’m not exactly sure how either.” He paused for a few minutes, his eyes glazing over gazing back through the years to the carefree summer of Jack and Draco taking on the world together.

He cleared his throat, “Anyway. One day I asked my mother if we could have Jack round. She didn’t know anything about him and we’d been friends for about three weeks, but that’s just my mother for you, she’s not really interested in the day to day living, it boards her. She likes her excitement, glitz and glamour, so long as she’s out of the house doing whatever it is that she does with her friends then she’s happy and to hell with everyone else.”

Luna frowned at his statement. Her mother had never been like that, her mother was always there when she woke up in the morning, always there to tuck her into bed at night and read a story or sing a song. Her mother would stop whatever she was doing throughout the day if Luna had wanted to play or talk. The difference between her mother and Draco’s was obvious. Her mother had been a mum, Draco’s mother was just that, she was only his mother. Draco had never had a mum, and Luna felt desperately sorry for him for not having had the experience of a mum like she had. Even though it hurt that her mother was no longer with her, the memories she had were priceless and she wouldn’t trade them for anything.

“So what happened when you asked about Jack?”

“Obviously she wanted to know who he was, who his father was mostly, what pureblood family he belonged to. When I told her he wasn’t a wizard she just sort of went quiet and stared at me for a long time before sending me to my room and telling me to stay there when she went to speak to my father.”

At the mention of his father a slight shiver ran down Luna’s spine. Unthinkingly she turned to her side, reaching out for his hand she entwined her fingers through his squeezing his hand lightly. It didn’t surprise her when Draco's fingers tightened their hold on hers. He wasn’t looking at her though, he was far away, remembering.

“I hadn’t been up in my room that long I don’t think, I was practicing my levitation. For some reason I could only hold things up for about ten minutes and then I’d lose concentration and the object would fall.”

Luna just nodded her head, she knew the feeling of not being able to accomplish your spells very well. Even now she could sometimes mess up the simplest spells or charms because she failed to concentrate.

Draco sighed heavily. “I was called down to my fathers study. I don’t know where my mother was, it was just him. He was there alone standing by the fireplace….he was waiting for me of course, just stood there ….calmly waiting for me…. When he knew…..he knew what he was planning to do….but he was just stood there…. Calmly.”

Draco’s words began to stick in his throat, he could feel his breath clogging up again, could feel the clamminess sweeping him and the panic start to rise from the pit of his stomach. He gasped raggedly his fingers holding tighter to Luna’s.

Again Luna’s hand appeared on his chest making slow circular motions to try to ease the restrictive breathing. Draco may not have noticed any difference with her actions, but she had. The muscles in his chest seemed to relax when she touched him, bringing him back to the present where he could concentrate on the fact that he wasn’t alone. She was there.

She was used to the weird breathing now, but the dull, lifeless tone he seemed to insist on using sent chills through her. Draco had taught himself to cut off from emotions when he needed to. That was what he was doing now Luna realised, he was trying to keep all emotion out of the conversation and tell it as a series of facts so that he still would not have to actually deal with it.

“It’s ok Draco, you don’t have to carry on if you’d rather not,” she told him.

Draco looked down at the concerned, worried face of Luna Lovegood. No-one had worried about him before. His father worried over him, worried he would do something ridiculous and bring shame to the Malfoy name. But he hadn’t had anyone to worry about him, how he was feeling, how he was coping. Until now, until Luna.

Unhurriedly, Draco let the fingers of his free hand sift through the glossy waves of her hair. Somehow it brought him a little peace to touch Luna, to let himself get close to someone.

“He was really cold, really hard. He said that….. That I wasn’t to….. To associate with Jack again,” Draco gulped back the emotions that began to trickle into his voice. “He said I was a….. a Malfoy, and I shouldn’t ….. associate with filth.”

He paused trying to will the hot, stinging tears that were burning his throat to go away, to stay from his eyes. He couldn’t cry, he was Draco Malfoy, it wasn’t permitted for a Malfoy to be weak. It wasn’t right that a man should cry either, and that’s what he was supposed to be now, he was supposed to be a man.

Although, at the moment, Draco didn’t feel like a man. Instead he felt like a little boy again, the same little boy who had gone to his fathers study when he had been told to do so, the same little boy who had stood trustingly before his father to hear why he had been summoned, not for one second thinking that day was going to be the worst of his young life. 

“I told him Jack was my friend, that I had to see him again, we were going exploring tomorrow. I had to be there or Jack could get lost without me. That made him lose his temper. I knew I wasn’t supposed to answer back and could get a whack for it; but it was Jack. We’d made plans and I wanted to go exploring.”

“Where were you going?” Luna wondered softly.

“Just in the woods, but it wasn’t the woods to us. We were going to the desert, to ride on camels and battle with bandits. But we never got there,” he told her dryly. Winding a strand of her hair around his finger, he smiled slightly at the fond look she was giving him. He knew Luna was trying to image a mini him running through the woods believing he was in a desert somewhere.

“Well, I think you were very brave to stand up for your friend, Draco,” Luna told him firmly.

“Stupid more like. Then he said it, very clearly aiming his wand at me, Perfidious totalus. The next thing I knew I was lying on the floor stiff as a board….. then….. Then I saw him doing it…..still standing by the fire…. He didn’t move. He just stood there conjuring up…. a….a coffin,” Draco just managed to splutter out his last sentence before he felt the warm flowing of tears from his eyes.

Luna started horrified at Draco. She did not want to see Draco Malfoy cry, it was too much. The mere sight of this boy, who only a few hours ago had seemed to her to be so strong and in control of himself had crumbled before her very eyes. Now he was a shaking, quivering mess; crying, overcome with his emotions, his one hand squeezing hers and his other entangled in her hair.

“Oh, Draco please don’t cry,” she whispered, tip toeing up so that she could wipe the tears from his cheeks.

Draco miss-read her and she somehow found herself pressed tightly to his chest with his face buried in her hair again as he cried brokenly. “It’s ok, Draco,” she soothed him gently, hugging him close to her.

“He….he just….just …. Levitated me over to…to…it and dumped me in it. Then the lid came on, and the darkness came. I could hear the screws…..I was calling for my mother…... Begging him to let me out, but I started moving, I was floating somewhere for what felt like ages, then…then I stopped and I heard it…..” He trailed off, unable to continue with the choking sobs that caught in his throat, and the underlying fear he still felt even from talking about it.

Luna was afraid to ask her question, but she knew it was important that she did. It was important that Draco get through his story. “What did you hear?”

She felt his arms tightening around her, felt his lips grazing her ear when he spoke. “The earth. I heard the earth falling on top of me.”

Luna’s jaw dropped. Instinctively she pressed herself closer to him wishing desperately she could get closer still. She held him while his body racked with violent sobs; it was all she could do to try to comfort him, there were no soothing words to speak. She couldn’t erase Draco's memory or make him feel better with any words she possessed.

“I was begging him to let me out, promising to be good. I was screaming for my mother …..for her to ….to come and….and get me. But no-one came.”

“H….how old were you?” Luna managed to stammer.

“Seven.”

Luna screwed her eyes shut, horrified by his answer. She could see it in her minds eye a little seven year old Draco locked away in the dark, terror flowing through him, scared, lonely and wondering what had happened to his world.

“Draco, I’m sorry,” she whispered, “I’m so sorry I made you talk about it. I’m sorry, Draco.”

Draco could feel her body quivering in his arms and he felt the wetness of her tears on his neck. It eased him a little knowing she was upset, knowing she felt for him, that she was sorry for what he’d had to endure as a child and she was doing everything she could think of to comfort and sooth his aching fears away.

Rubbing her back gently he replied carefully, “There’s more.”

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