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Move Along by Jaggy

Format: Novel
Chapters: 21
Word Count: 67,581
Status: WIP

Rating: Mature
Warnings: Strong Language, Mild Violence, Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Substance Use or Abuse, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme

Genres: Drama, General, Romance
Characters: Dumbledore, Lupin, Snape, Sirius, Lily, James, Pettigrew, Skeeter, OtherCanon
Pairings: James/Lily, Sirius/Lily

First Published: 07/24/2006
Last Chapter: 01/12/2008
Last Updated: 01/12/2008

Summary:
A companionship and somewhat awkward relationship one year in the making, finally becomes official. But the secretive love of Lily and Sirius is turned upside down as Lily finds a new bond in none other than James. In their sixth year, how is the number one guy in Lily's life changed from Sirius Black to James Potter?



Chapter 21: The Running Rat || Posted January 12, 2008
-on hitus-


Chapter 20: Marauders Broken

A/N: I know, I know! I haven’t updated in ages but, see, I moved out, and I went home to visit (this is a three hour drive, mind you) and I left my USB jump drive there which had this update on it, and I only got it back yesterday when I went for another visit. So I’m super sorry! Anyways, enjoy! Oye, and this is taken from JKR sayint that Remus didn't have a twin. ;)



The sheets felt scratchy along Remus’ arms, he noted long before he opened his eyes. And his body felt as though he’d tried to ram a rather strong door. He could feel that his shoulder had been popped back into place and the last time Remus recalled being in so much pain was when he was during the summers, when he didn’t have Padfoot, Prongs, and Wormtail to run about with. His vague recollection of the night consisted mostly with a sense of abandonment and a deep bloodlust.

Remus’ sense of smell kicked in next. There was a strong odor of dog, anxiety, and a hint of the cinnamon smell that he associated with Lily. Sirius was next to him and as Remus’ senses returned to a more stable location, he knew that Sirius was quite alone.

Finally, his golden orbs flickered open and he squinted his eyes against the sunlight as a slow, but certain headache over took him. He groaned lightly, as he always did when waking from such a damaging transformation. What had happened last night? Had they really not shown? Sirius jumped from where he’d been dozing in the chair beside Remus, and Remus smirked a bit.

“You look paranoid, Padfoot,” Remus mumbled sleepily, his voice only touched with pain. “What did you do now? Piss Lily off?”

He’d meant it as a joke, but when Sirius’ eyes flashed from Remus’ face to the clean floor, Remus knew he’d hit the nail on the head with that one. He sighed despondently; he wasn’t sure what Sirius was going to do with both James and Lily angry with him. Lily, of course, would get over it quickly, whatever it was that she was angry with him about.

“Look, mate, all lovers have their spats,” comforted Remus. “Why did you fight?”

Sirius muttered something so low that even with his acute sense of hearing, it escaped Remus and he had to ask Sirius to repeat himself.

“We haven’t yet,” Sirius said finally, his gaze unmoving from one of the tiles on the floor. “She knows I’ve done something, and James, fortunately, hasn’t told her what.”

“What?”

“He figures, and he’s right, that you ought to know first…”

“Me?”

A sinking feeling in Remus’ gut wasn’t helped by the wave of anxiety and regret that was flowing from Sirius’ eyes to the floor. Remus could see the small incline that Sirius’ back was taking, arching himself just so away from him. It was a hint at the moves Sirius made when he finally confessed to the Marauders the nature of his father, where his scars really came from. That look of fear. Sirius was afraid that Remus was going to be angry. Remus narrowed his eyes a bit. He’d been frustrated with Sirius plenty of times, annoyed, maybe a bit mad every now and then, but he’d never been angry enough with Sirius to earn that look from Sirius.

“Well, I—” Sirius started, before shaking his head, and starting again. “What happened—no…Remus I’m an ass, alright. I’m so, so sorry for it…well for you and—and James...”

“Just spit it out Sirius.”

“I told Snape how to find you last night,” he confessed. The sinking feeling turned icy cold and Remus froze where he lay, not breathing for a moment as he absorbed Sirius’ words. “And so he...well he’s right touched in the head for actually listening to me—”

“You what?” Remus asked, his voice barely above a whisper. No. If Snape listened then… “I didn’t...Merlin tell me I—is he—no, shit, Sirius of all the things…”

Remus wanted to cry, break down now, because he knew what happened when people and werewolves mixed. Snape could be transformed or worse and…

“He’s fine,” continued Sirius, his voice shaking now with his own fear and tears. Remus could see them hiding in the corners of Sirius’ eyes. “James saved him before he got to you.”

James?” Remus gaped, sounding even more horrified. James? James could have been...that was worse than the thought that Snape might have been...Merlin. Remus covered his face with his bandaged hands, shaking his head. He had known better than to take on friends at Hogwarts. How many times had Mother explicitly warned him what people would do? But this was different, the Marauders would have never...he sighed somewhere between a sob and a scream. Sirius would have never...Remus trusted Sirius, even more than the others. He was never James to Sirius, but he had thought he was something. He was obviously wrong.

“Moony...”

“Sirius, do you know what would have happened if I’d even scratched one of them?” Remus asked, his voice quiet, but still shaking deeply. He peered at Sirius through his fingers; the other boy was looking at him with shameful self-loathing, and the utmost regret. There were tears, and he watched Sirius hastily wipe the one that escaped him away. “I’d be in Azkaban right now.”

“But you didn’t—”

“Apparently,” Remus had never spoken so coldly to Sirius. Never in all the years that they’d been friends. In fact he recalled once, in third year that he’d woken up to Sirius at his side. James and Peter had gotten in trouble and were speaking with the Astronomy professor as Sirius spoke to Remus. It had been one of their deepest discussions, all of their serious ones started off with Remus fresh from a transformation and Sirius at his side. Sirius’ eyes flashed in the same sad way they had that day in third year, and the memory came to the forefront of Remus’ mind, mocking him.

“It was clever though, Remus,” the thirteen-year-old Sirius exclaimed happily. “I didn’t know that a cat could survive being blown up to such a proportion…”

Remus chuckled in amusement as Sirius elaborated more on the tale of Mrs. Norris the Giant Floating Cat, brought to the viewers by James Potter and Peter Pettigrew. (The boys constantly pestered Filch, attempting to figure out how many Mrs. Norrises there had been because Sirius’ cousin, Andromeda, told them that as long as there’d been a Mr. Filch there’d been a Mrs. Norris.)

Sirius finally wound down a bit and tugged at his school tie, looking at Remus with the face that Remus knew meant he wanted to know something.

“What is it?” he asked, looking at Sirius. He was rather sleepy, and his leg was still throbbing rather painfully from a large cut in it. Sirius’ silver eyes shone for a moment, his curiosity leaking through, and his moment of silence telling Remus that he wasn’t sure how to voice his question. “Well spit it out, Sirius.”

“What happened?”

Remus gave him an odd look. He knew what had happened, James, Peter, and he had cleverly told Remus in second year that they knew about his ‘furry little problem’ as James had put it. “I mean...when you got the bite...when you were little.”

A clench in Remus’ heart let him know that the hand of grief wasn’t quite done with him from that night yet, but Sirius was looking at him with such a desire to understand, that Remus didn’t think he could actually refuse to relive that night. He took a calming breath. He could do this, he trusted Sirius.

“Promise to keep this between us?”

“Yeah, mate.”

Remus looked at him unsteady for a moment, gathering his courage. They were silent for what felt like an eternity to Remus, but could only have been a few moments. Sirius scooted his chair up close to Remus’ bedside and gave him a small smile.

“You have my word, Remus,” he said warmly. “This stays with you and me.”

“I was six,” started Remus, feeling encouraged by Sirius’ word. “And...and my brother and I decided to sneak out of the house for a nighttime stroll through the woods. He thought it’d be fun to sneak out.”

“You have a brother?”

His heart twisted again.

“Once,” he smiled sadly. “He was four years older than me. His name was Seath, but let me finish,” Sirius looked apprehensive now, and for a moment Remus wondered if he should actually stop. But Sirius nodded his head, encouragement for him to continue, and he did. “So we went out, even after Dad had told us not to. We stayed out for an hour or so until I started feeling spooked and begged Seath to take me back. Seath, being like he was, thought it would be...amusing...to scare me on the way back. He pointed to the moon and told me that werewolves were out on nights when the moon was like that and they liked to eat little boys like me.

“We were maybe a hundred yards from the house when he howled at the moon, mocking my fear, and he laughed when I told him to stop,” Remus’ voice tightened now. “And then there was another howl, and Seath stopped laughing, and looked behind us. I remember him looking scared and he told me to run,” Remus’ mind flashed with the memory of Seath’s terrified face, and his voice cracking as he spoke and pushed Remus as close to the house as he could. “The werewolf got him first, and by that time Mum and Dad had heard the noise. He bit my shoulder, and Dad was able to get the werewolf off of me and Mum took me inside. Seath wasn’t so lucky...”

Remus turned away from Sirius’ face, wiping a stray tear from his face. He wasn’t sure if Sirius had looked away to mind Remus’ pride, or his own. His voice was a whisper when he spoke again.

“I’m sorry, Remus—”

“Don’t be,” Remus shrugged, his own voice flirting with the line of whispers. “Just...mind...mind Regulus. Big brothers have more influence than they think they do.”


The seventeen-year-old Sirius had a deeper voice, and his face was lined with a shadow from not shaving. Remus could still read the other boy’s emotions through his voice and his eyes. But those eyes weren’t any different. They were regretful for the pain that they were causing the werewolf.

“I’m sorry, Remus—” he started in that same voice he’d used so many years ago. But Remus didn’t stop him with ‘don’t be’s’ now. He ought to be sorry.

“Go, Padfoot,” whispered Remus. “I don’t really want to see you just now.”

“Moony,” Sirius started, but he fell silent as Remus continued to refuse his gaze. He heard Sirius sigh, his breathing giving way that his tears were barely hidden. Where James took the place as Sirius’ brother, and Remus was on that level too, somewhere, Remus was Sirius’ best friend. The method of sharing secrets wasn’t exclusively reserved to Remus telling Sirius. While James knew more of Sirius’ secrets than anyone, Remus was the one Sirius trusted with issues of Regulus...and of Lily. They had a bond that Remus had once thought couldn’t be broken. He could hear Sirius shuffle his feet for a moment, and he finally rose from his chair and left the Hospital Wing.

Remus had once thought wrong.




The scenarios of what Sirius might have done paled in comparison to the confession Lily could hear through the doors of the Hospital Wing. Her heart rate jumped considerably. Sirius had betrayed Remus. Sweet, harmless, loving Remus? The talking stopped and Lily jumped when one of the oak doors opened and Sirius stepped out, his eyes instantly caught onto her and she saw what little color was left in his pale skin fall with the grace of a cross eyed troll.

“Lily,” he ground out painfully as she saw him take in her furious face.

Lily didn’t say a word, afraid she wouldn’t be able to stop. Her emerald eyes flashed at the open doors, before she turned on her heel and stormed towards the stairs leading down to the Entrance Hall. She knew Sirius would follow her, and she could take care of this outside.

For Sirius’ part, he felt like an oversized cow finally being taken to the slaughter house. Only he highly doubted that anyone would chop him to bits and enjoyably eat him with a healthy helping of potatoes and stew. No, if Lily were going to off him, Sirius doubted she’d leave any pieces of him to be found. She had a sadistic sense of humor and Sirius highly doubted that his approaching death would be clean and simple or any measure of quick.

The redhead in front of him finally stopped her fast pace when they were out on the grounds, next to a large tree that they’d once snuggled together underneath during one of their late night excursions. He felt fear well in his chest as she finally rounded back on him, her beautiful eyes flashing with a promise of a lot of pain. If looks could kill…no wait, she wouldn’t want to kill him off with looks anyways.

“You did this on purpose,” her voice was eerily calm for the furious look on her face, and her words were more a statement than a question. “You put Remus and Snape and James in danger on purpose, and don’t contradict me,” Sirius had opened his mouth to defend that he’d never meant to put them in harm’s way. It snapped shut at her reprimand. “What should I do, Sirius? How am I supposed to be with someone who is willing to risk a life for a silly school boy rivalry?”

It was a rare thing to make Sirius Black stand silently, but Lily Evans had done it quite efficiently. He rammed his shoe into the cold hard ground, watching as his sneakers dug a small hole in the dirt wondering if what was left of his pride, when Lily was finished, would fit into the hole to hide from further damage.

“Well?”

Sirius sighed and looked up at her helplessly. “Well what do you want me to say, Lily? That I think you should dump me now and forget that I ever existed, or that you should forgive me and love me anyways?”

At the hard look Lily gave him, Sirius decided it was in his best interests to belt up or answer properly. With another hard sigh he stood up straight and stopped fidgeting, and with more than a bit of force, looked up into Lily’s angry eyes.

“I don’t deserve you Lily,” he admitted quietly, his voice shaking. “You’d be well within your rights to break it off.”

“As long as you see it my way,” she said coldly. Sirius visibly shuttered. All humourous thoughts left his head now as she looked at him. He could see the tears in her eyes, and her bottom lip trembled just so. “Why did you do it?”

It was the first time he’d been asked that question, and Sirius almost wished she hadn’t asked him. He looked away from her again, finding that the blade of grass next to her left foot exceedingly fascinating.

“He deserved it,” he mumbled darkly. “Remus didn’t and James didn’t, but Snape did.”

He could almost feel her narrowing her eyes.

“What?”

“He did. After what he did to you, how he blackmailed us, he’s a slimy git who needs a good scare now and then, and I didn’t think he’d—”

“Listen to you?” Lily finished for him, her voice bordering on a tone so devastatingly threatening that Sirius looked up at her with a mild touch of fear. “How could you be that thick Sirius?” She really was crying now, but her tears fell down slowly, and there wasn’t a hint of a sob in her voice. “He’d jump at any chance to get you four in trouble! You know I—” she stopped, and Sirius watched her face change slowly from rage to exhaustion. “I don’t want to hear excuses anymore. I don’t want you to challenge someone for my honor again. I’m done with this Sirius, I’m done with lying for us, I’m done with listening to you say stupid things like Snape deserves something that awful to happen to him. I’m done with us. I’m done with you.”

There it was. Somewhere in the deep corners of Sirius’ mind, he had hoped, even dared to pray that Lily would forgive him, that despite his actions, and despite his friends dropping him, that Lily alone would see that he needed nothing in the world more right now than he needed her.

“Lily, please,” he started, only to be cut off by a tearful shake of her head. She left him alone on the grounds, and Sirius sat down, using the tree as his leaning post. The grounds were silent save for a gentle breeze that was blowing through. But Sirius paid no attention to it. He’d lost everything in one stupid move. The Marauders were gone, Lily was gone. Sirius had nothing left. He had no family, he’d disowned them as much as they had him. He had no friends, no girlfriend, no anything. And for the first time in many years, Sirius cried, in the most undignified, childish way he could, curled up in front of a tree with only his own bitter thoughts to keep him company.

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