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She's In Love With The Rat by Kira

Format: Novel
Chapters: 23
Word Count: 86,809

Rating: 15+
Warnings: Mild Language, Mild Violence, Substance Use or Abuse

Genres: Drama, Humor, Romance
Characters: Lupin, Snape, Sirius, Lily, James, Pettigrew, Voldemort, OC
Pairings: Other Pairing

First Published: 11/14/2006
Last Chapter: 07/02/2007
Last Updated: 04/22/2013


Sensational banner made by azn_princess from TDA! So awesome!
Katie Potter is the seventeen year old, never been kissed, sister of James Potter and she is certain that she is in love with Sirius Black. However, fate’s winding road leads her, instead, into the arms of the last person she ever expected; a person who would make her life extraordinary at one moment... and then tear it to shreds. And he spends some of his time as a rat...

Chapter 23: Dead While Alive

And here we stand. The last chapter. I am both sad and pleased at the same time. Sad that this story must end but pleased that it has been both a success on the site as well as a complete joy to write. I will have a longer, Author’s note at the end…as for now, please enjoy the concluding chapter of She’s In Love With The Rat

Chapter Twenty Three

Dead While Alive

Remus stared hard at the four graves in front of him. It was a perfect day. It seemed so impossible and sad that the world was just going to continue spinning and conjuring up gorgeous weather when four fantastic people now were buried in the earth. The sun was starting to go down, kissing the treetops with blazing light beams. There was a sharp breeze; powerful yet refreshing.

The funeral was long over, and he was the only one left standing in front of the graves. How could he leave? For Remus it seemed that if he left, it was actually over. If he left he would have to get back to life. How could he ever get back to life? His life was his friends, and now they were gone.

There had been so many people, family, friends, and people Remus didn’t even recognize. It just showed how many lives had been touched by his four friends…gosh how he loved them.


His best friend since year one at Hogwarts. Jovial, funny, deviously clever, a born leader, a fantastic father, friend, man…now dead. He looked like he was sleeping so peacefully in the casket; as if he was waiting to wake up to the familiar sound of Harry’s early morning cry.


Kind, understanding, beautiful inside and out, a phenomenal mother, supremely intelligent, always there for anyone…now dead. Lily was laid out with flowers in her hair; she seemed to glow with all the love she experienced in her life.


Funny, loud, adorably insecure, noble, loving, faithful, a fantastic friend…now dead. She was still smiling even in death. It twisted Remus’ heart but also made him feel a bit better. Perhaps she really was indeed in a better place. The day before the funeral Remus had gone over to Peter’s apartment to look through the stuff that remained. To his surprise he found a thick pile of papers covered in Katie’s writing. It seemed to be scribbled in some sort of hurry. Remus had spent hours upon hours reading every word; savoring each letter. Most of it didn’t make much sense, some fantastic imagery, but no decipherable plot. But one page, among the many, had a beautiful poem upon it. Remus had been so moved by it that he had requested to have it inscribed on the graves of his four friends; one part on each stone.


Confused, mysterious, good, loving, passionate…now dead. They had never found his body; only a bloodied finger remained. Sirius hadn’t only killed him; he had destroyed everything that was left. The few muggles that had been at the scene reported, before their memories were altered, that the two men had been shouting at each other and waving sticks before there was a massive explosion. That blast had killed Peter as well as Katie. Had that been Sirius’ intention? Who knew?


Essentially he was now dead to Remus. He had been hilarious, confident, uninhibited, and brilliant in his own casual way. Now what was he? A prisoner rotting in a maximum security prison for the rest of his life, charged with murder. Remus was supposed to hate him. How could he hate Sirius?

How could one person’s life be shattered in so many different ways in such a short time? How could he go on? How could he eat breakfast in the morning like he used to? How could he walk down the street like he used to? How could he laugh like he used to? How could he live like he used to?

Remus would have probably stood there for the rest of his life if a hand from behind him was placed gently on his shoulder, as if a butterfly had alighted there.

He whipped around to find Albus Dumbledore looking at him with misty eyes.

“Remus,” he whispered his voice deep and sorrowful. “What are you still doing here?”

“I just couldn’t leave,” Remus answered, his voice barely audible. “I don’t know what I’m going to do.” He couldn’t stop the tears from coming; the world around him grew hazy. His hands started to shake and he felt his chest get tight.

“Don’t do this to yourself,” Dumbledore, murmured, putting a comforting arm across Remus’ shoulders.

“What am I supposed to do?” Remus shouted, shoving Albus’ arm away. “What am I supposed to do? I can’t do anything else but stand here. I can’t go on without them.”

Dumbledore gave Remus a weak smile.

“Have you read the words on these graves?” he asked gently.

“Read them?” Remus asked, his voice hostile. “I found them and requested for them to be on the graves.”

“But have you actually read them and thought about what they say?” Dumbledore asked again. Remus rolled his eyes but turned to face the graves and began to scan the words. The words began on James’ and went through to Peter’s.

It is not hard to find bad things in our lives.
Every life has something bad
Or something good that is missing
It is so easy to overlook the good things that are in our lives every day
It is so easy because people are looking for a miracle that doesn’t exist.
People think that miracles have to be big, colossal things.
But people tend to overlook the drops of dew clinging to the leaves of a plant,
The smile of a child swinging in the park,
Or the way we laugh with our friends.
It is hard to live life with this sort of view, seeing the small things.
But if we can at least try…that’s a miracle.

Remus nodded his head gently as he traced the engraved words with his finger.

“Your friends are no longer living, Remus. Don’t you stop living too,” Dumbledore said profoundly. “Do you want to be dead while alive?”

“No,” Remus answered, still shaking a little bit. Dumbledore gave him a reassuring smile, before he slowly lead Remus away from the graves.

Remus looked over his shoulder once and noticed a flash of movement near Katie’s grave but told himself to keep walking.

If he would have walked back he would have found a rat with a missing toe sitting upon Katie’s grave; pelting the stone with it’s tears.

The End

Author’s Note

Something powerful goes through a writer when they write the words The End. I can’t believe that this is actually the end. *Sits back contently.* I sincerely hope you enjoyed this fic because I really enjoyed writing it. Thank you for any and all support you have given to this story. Thank you so much, words cannot describe how much I appreciate it! For being such dedicated readers please enjoy this preview of upcoming fics.

1. Finding Ava

Ava writes an advice column in the Hogwarts school newspaper on the very subject of finding oneself and becoming the real person inside. When an anonymous person writes in asking for help Ava advises her to break up with her boyfriend who is clearly keeping her from being herself. The girl, who is no other than Sirius Black’s girlfriend, takes Ava advice and breaks up with him. When Sirius, who has never been dumped before, figures out that Ava is the reason that he was dumped, he decides to come up with a plan to sabotage the reasoning in her column to win his girlfriend back.

2. Title Unknown

Possible sequel to She’s In Love With The Rat. It would revolve around Charles Potter, James and Katie’s little brother. It would take place when Charles is grown, and after Voldemort has been defeated. Charles is a successful Auror by this time and his focus is on finding Wormtail, one of Voldemort’s dedicated servants. He doesn’t know of the connection Peter Pettigrew has to his life. The fic would focus on his journey to find Peter and what he will do when he does find him.

Those are my current ideas. Finding Ava will be out soon so I hope to see you there!!! Let me know what you thought about this chapter, or the story as a whole, but also please let me know what you think of my new ideas. Thanks a million once again and I want to tell you again how much I appreciate what you have done for me. You guys rock and I hope to hear from you again soon!!!!

Much love,