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Dark Memories by Tom_DracosGirl

Format: Short story
Chapters: 6
Word Count: 16,906

Rating: Mature
Warnings: Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme

Genres: Drama, Mystery, Romance
Characters: Luna, Draco
Pairings: Draco/Luna

First Published: 05/21/2007
Last Chapter: 05/21/2008
Last Updated: 02/15/2009


Full credit & Loads of Thanks to Secret_Soul for the fab banner! Luna Lovegood has always thought of Draco Malfoy as the mean Slytherin whos always causing upset and trouble where ever he goes. But when she accidentally ends up locked in a broom cupboard with him she sees him in a different light. Why is he so scared? He's going mad, all because of his Dark Memories.

Chapter 3: Inside The Cupboard

AN:  Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed and I hope you like this chapter 
Chapter 3

Inside the Cupboard

Draco gasped, pushing wildly at the tall, oak door that refused to budge. Wand! Where was his wand, he could use that to open the door. He fumbled around in the pockets of his robes.

Where was it? It wasn’t there! Where was his wand?! 

Thump, thump. 
Mother! Mother! 
Thump, Thump

He had changed! He had changed earlier and had forgotten to place his wand in his new robes! He didn’t have a wand!

Draco gasped again, dragging a deep lungful of air inside him. Luna! She was there, she would have a wand, he could use that

“Luna! Wand! Now!” 

Thump, thump. 
Mother! Mother Help Me!

“Luna!” he bellowed.

Luna stood staring at him, a tinge of fright curling up from the pit of her stomach at the wild look in his eyes, the desperation that was evident in every line of him.

She shook her head. “I don’t have it. It’s in my bag and I didn’t take my bag to the library,” she explained quietly, afraid to raise her voice in case Draco started freaking out even more.

Draco stared at her incredulously. “What? What do you mean? I need a wand! I need to get out! Luna!”

“Calm down, Draco.”

“Calm down? I can’t calm down! Luna, I can’t stay in here. I need to get out!” Draco turned and began pounding his fist on the door.

Someone would hear, someone would come. Someone would let him out, he needed to get out, he couldn’t breathe!

Standing back from the door Draco swung his foot out against it. The kick didn’t do any good, the door remained unchanged, tall, bold and strong barring his way to the outside world.

He banged at the door again jiggling the handle so much Luna was afraid he might actually rip it off altogether.

Why was no-one coming? Why didn’t someone let him out? He had to get out!

Frantically Draco ran his hands through his hair, his fingers digging into his scalp with frustration. Angrily he kicked out at the door again.

Luna bit her lip, Draco was scaring her acting like a crazed lunatic. “Draco? Draco, can I help you?” she whispered.

Draco spun around, his smoky grey eyes wild and tempestuous. He was shaking, gasping loudly as though some invisible hands were squeezing his throat and he couldn’t pull enough breath into his body. His arms shot out to his sides pressing his hands against the cool stone of the wall, almost as if he could push them down if he tried hard enough.

“I can’t breathe.”

Thump, thump. 
Mother! Mother where are you?

Luna moved quickly to his side. Gently she began to loosen the knot in his tie, she remembered hearing somewhere that when a person had difficulty breathing you should remove anything constrictive from around the throat. Her fingers were quick once the tie had been un-knotted, and she undid the buttons of his shirt, softly massaging her hand across his bare chest worrying that he continued to gasp in that strangled sounding way.

Draco was dimly aware of Luna's hands on his skin, of her stood quietly beside him watching him anxiously. He couldn’t worry about her now, he had to concentrate on breathing, and he couldn’t breathe. He needed to get out of this tiny, poky little room.

The walls were closing in on him, the darkness was rushing over him, the dirt filled his nostrils clinging to the inside of this throat.

He was choking! He couldn’t breathe!

“Draco. Draco, please calm down. Draco, you're scaring me,” Luna whispered, struggling to keep her voice smooth when what she really wanted to do was scream with the hysteria she could feel coming from him in waves.

The next thing Luna knew Draco's hands had curled around her shoulders. Gripping her tightly he began to shake her roughly. Her head jerked so much from his shaking she thought it was going to snap off. “Draco, stop it. You're hurting me.”

“Scaring you? Scaring you? You don’t even know what scared is!” he hissed viciously. Draco's eyes were opened to their utmost,  showing a fear that looked so real Luna felt as though it seeped from him into her blood, she could feel it pumping round her own body.

Mother! Father let me out!
I’m sorry, I won’t do it again! 
Mother help me!

A blind panic gripped Draco’s heart. He was trapped, he couldn’t get out.

Releasing his hold on Luna he began to hammer on the door again. Where the hell was Filch when you needed him? The old fool was always around when you didn’t want him.

“Someone open the door!” Draco yelled, his voice echoing around the small, cramped room to bounce off the walls, reminding him that there was hardly room for both him and Luna in there.

He felt weak, felt as if all his energy had been drained from him and all he could feel was terror. A terror that was so consuming he momentarily forgot that Luna was there. His balled up fists flattened against the door that imprisoned him, and Draco bowed his head trying to calm his erratic breathing; but his heart refused to slow its mad pulsating in his chest.

Thump, Thump. 
Mother, where are you? Help me! Father, I’m sorry, please, please, I’m sorry!
 Thump, thump.

Luna watched fearfully as the fight left his body and he crumbled before her into a ball on the dirty floor. Draco's entire body shook uncontrollably, she could hear his odd, racking breaths and she wanted to do something, anything to help him. Luna frowned, she didn’t know what to do.

“Draco?” she questioned faintly, frightened he was going to kick off and start shaking her again. Unthinkingly Luna rubbed at her shoulders, Draco had hurt her, she knew that he didn’t actually mean it, he was just scared.

No, Luna corrected herself, Draco wasn’t scared; he was absolutely petrified. She wondered of what, was it the dark? The small space? What caused Draco Malfoy to behave in this manner? What could she do to help him?

When he didn’t reply she squeezed around the boxes and brooms to get next to him and knelt beside him on the floor. His forehead was pressed against the door, his eyes screwed tightly shut, an unmistakable look of dread on his face.

“Draco?” she whispered softly. Luna had the feeling he had forgotten that she was even there.

Draco could barely hear her over the violent beating of his heart roaring in his ears, and the tiny, weak voice that echoed around his memory. He remembered then that she was there, Luna Lovegood was with him. He wasn’t alone this time.

Raising his head he looked at her intently. Draco saw the fear in her eyes, the concern on her face for his, what she would consider, odd actions.

“I need to get out, Luna. Help me,” he croaked.

Luna nodded slowly. “I know you need to get out, but we can’t go anywhere until someone comes for us, and they will come, Draco. We won’t be stuck in here for long I promise.”

It wasn’t good enough, her presence did nothing to appease the aggressive nightmare that had so suddenly rushed back to take over his life again.

“No, I can’t wait. I need to get out now,” Draco shoved her forcefully as he clambered up to his feet and began to pound on the door again.

Luna crashed into the wall hurting her back in the process. “Ouch,” she muttered, gazing up at him from her position on the floor.

He was going mad, like a caged animal.Draco was trapped and there was nothing he could do about it. Luna’s heart went out to him, she knew he was hurting and terrified inside, but she was still at a loss of what to do for him.

“Draco, Draco sit down again, take deep breaths. You’ll be ok. Nothing’s going to happen to you,” Luna tried to sooth him, pulling herself up she tugged a little on his arm, frightened he might break his hand if he kept hammering away like he was doing.

Suddenly he turned back to her, his arms reaching for her. Luna thought he was going to start shaking her again, there was nowhere to go, she would just have to let him carry on. Draco didn’t start to shake her. Instead, he wrapped his arms around her so tightly she thought he might squeeze her to death. Burying his face in her hair Draco whimpered pitifully, “Luna, Luna, help me.”

Luna only managed to produce a strangled sounding squeak from the arms that felt like bands of steel around her slender body. He was leaning on her and he was too heavy for her to support his weight.  Stumbling back into the wall they ended up sliding into a heap on the floor. 

Luna was extremely taken aback at this turn of events. She had no clue how to handle this new Draco, who was curled against her clinging on to her as though his life depended on it. She rubbed his back softly, making calm soothing sounds in his ear.

“It’s ok, Draco,” she promised quietly, glad that he had calmed himself down; even if she did wish he wouldn’t hold her in such a vice like grip.

The sea of calm was limited in his mind, and Draco knew the storm would come crashing back over him at any moment. He was aware of how much more horrendous his situation would be if Luna wasn’t there with him. Unfortunately, at this stage, her gentle presence did not ease his troubled mind as Draco would have liked it to.

Closing his eyes Draco allowed himself to breathe deeply the scent of coconuts that clung to her hair  laying against his cheek in soft waves. No matter how deeply he breathed Draco couldn’t stop the dank smell that assaulted his nostrils and evoked deep, dark fears buried within his heart and mind.


I’m sorry father. I promise I won’t do it again. I’m sorry


Mother! Mother! I want my mother!

Father Please! Please!

Luna felt the change him in instantly. She felt the stillness leave him as his body began to tremble fiercely and his fingers dug even deeper into her skin. Low anguished moans escaped Draco's throat and vibrated in her ear as he buried his face deeper into the silkiness of her hair.

“Make it stop! Make it stop! Let me out!” he cried suddenly, pushing himself away from her, his hands tearing wildly at his hair.

It wasn’t his shouting, it his eyes that terrified Luna to her very soul, the smoky grey eyes that were usually nice to look at were now wide and panic-stricken, mad with a frantic tinge to them. Draco's face was distorted with an inner pain that she could not see, coming from some far distant memory that he must have hidden away in the darkest corners of his mind.

“Draco, it’s ok, I promise it’ll be ok,” Luna reached out her tiny, delicate hands; cupping his face bringing his eyes back from the door to look at her. “Look at me, Draco. Keep clam and take deep breaths,” Luna instructed, allowing her eyes to lock with his, hoping to instil some peace into what was very clearly a tortured soul.

“Luna,” Draco whispered, feeling a little better as his eyes met hers. Soft, blue eyes gazed at him with concern, the usual dreaminess hanging around in their depths slowing the craziness that swept through his veins.

Luna was there, she was real, she was touching him; Draco could feel the warmth of her fingers on his cheeks. He could see the flecks of green in her eyes, the long sweeping lashes, the scattering of freckles over her nose and cheeks and the soft, vulnerable line of her mouth.

She was smiling at him, a tentative smile, a smile that told him she was there even before she spoke the words. “I’m here, Draco. I’m not going to leave you.” It was a stupid thing to say, she couldn’t go anywhere either,  if they could get out they wouldn’t be in this situation, Draco wouldn’t be freaking out like this.

Draco sank back to lean against the wall holding tightly to Luna’s arms and dragging her with him. “Sit with me.”

Luna nodded, squirming uncomfortably. She had planned on sitting next to him not between his legs that wrapped securely around her to stop her moving and keep her there with him. Arms encircled her shoulders, pressing her back into his chest so he could rub his cheek along the side of her hair.

She figured it was some sort of comfort thing for him, so decided to suffer through it. After all, Draco was the one with the problem wasn’t he? He needed her for some unknown reason. If having her close to him kept Draco calm then Luna would stay there.

Besides, it was quite nice to be all wrapped up in Draco Malfoy.

Still, Luna was concerned over the rattling in his chest that was passing itself off as breathing. It sounded stuffy and clogged up. Shifting slightly in his grip, she rubbed at his bare chest again in an effort to try to make his breathing sound more normal, the weird restrictive sound was extremely unsettling.

Closing his eyes Draco titled his head back a little, trying desperately to concentrate on her hand rather than the gloomy, dankness of the room and the sickening memories that he could feel probing at the corners of his mind again. They’d come back and ambush him at some stage, Draco knew that. For now Luna was there, he would concentrate on Luna and try to block out everything else.

“Why don’t you talk to me, Draco? It might help you keep your mind off things?” Luna suggested helpfully, tucking a strand of hair behind her ears.

Draco shook his head, he knew that she would end up trying to get him to talk about his behaviour and he didn’t want Luna Lovegood poking into his past. “You talk to me.” 

Luna sighed softly, “About what?”

“I don’t care, anything. Just talk and don’t move.”

Luna considered him thoughtfully. “I’m afraid of spiders, I’m not overly fond of snakes either. Is it the dark or the small space or both together that you're afraid of?”

If it was possible she felt Draco's body tense even more, his already hardened muscles turning to rocks and his arms flinching, pressing her closer.

“I thought you said that we were trying to keep my mind off it?” he snapped, his breathing starting to become more laboured.

“We are, sorry, I thought it might help to talk about it,” Absently, Luna began to massage his chest again, worried that the rattling noise would come back if he got himself worked up into another lather. “Snape seemed to think my homework was ok, I got a good mark for it,” she said, for want of anything better to say.

“Did you?”

“Yes. Are you sure I didn’t do something to make you mad today?” 

“No. Just forget about it,” Draco replied shortly.

“Alright, if you say so. It’s just that you haven’t been mean to me before, and I thought maybe I’d done something,” Luna explained, wishing Draco would lower his head so that she could look at his face to see his expression.

Draco snorted. “What about the other people who are mean to you? Do you do something to upset them?”

“Not that I’m aware of. They just think I’m loony,” she replied matter of factly.

Thump, thump 
“That doesn’t bother you?” Draco asked quickly, willing her to give him a quick answer, the sounds were rushing back at him.

“No, I let people think what they want to think, it’s no good trying to change people is it? I’m happy the way I am, it’s not my problem if others are far from happy with themselves.”

Draco began to wheeze loudly, making Luna jump. “Talk….keep talking,” he managed to hiss, closing his eyes to try to concentrate on her voice. Luna's voice was there with him, it was real. The other voice was only a memory, he could ignore it, he could move past it if he listened to Luna.

“Um, alright, um....” Luna floundered. She couldn’t think of anything to say to him, but she needed something, anything, any words would do. “....Um, I’m taking divination this year with both Trelawny and Firenez, I’m not so good at reading tea leaves, I’m getting quite good at the stars now though. Perhaps I could read yours sometime? Let you know what’s happening in the future?”

“Yeah, yeah that would be good,” Draco replied absently, pressing his face into her hair surrounding himself with coconuts. The dirt was strong, almost overpowering, it tickled his nose, it heightened his fears. Draco needed to get rid of it.

I’ll be good I promise, I won’t do it again. 
Please let me out. Please, please. 
Please let me out!

“Please let me out, I’ll be good, please let me out.”

Luna blinked in surprise at Draco’s words whispering in her ear, his arms pulling her closer rocking her back and forth with him.

“Draco? Draco, what’s wrong? Please tell me. Maybe I can help,” she begged softly. He was scaring her, something had happened to him to bring this kind of cornered animal fear out in full force. Perhaps his mind would ease a little if he told her?

Still rocking her he replied quietly, “Can’t help me, no-one helped me.”

“No-one helped you when?” Luna prodded carefully.

He didn’t respond to her question, continuing to rock her lightly back and forth, his fingers curling around her arm; trying to pull her even closer to him.

Draco moaned softly, he couldn’t tell Luna, he couldn’t tell anyone, he had never spoken of it then or since and he didn’t want to start now. All Draco wanted was to get out, and keep Luna close to him. So long as he kept hold of Luna perhaps he wouldn’t descend into the black pit of dark memories.