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We Couldn't Bring the Columns Down by ladyspirit

Format: Novel
Chapters: 21
Word Count: 59,752
Status: WIP

Rating: Mature
Warnings: Strong Language, Strong Violence, Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Substance Use or Abuse, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme, Contains Spoilers

Genres: General, Humor, Romance
Characters: Lupin, Snape, Sirius, Lily, James, Lucius, Narcissa, OC
Pairings: Other Pairing, James/Lily, Lucius/Narcissa, Sirius/OC

First Published: 05/21/2007
Last Chapter: 06/23/2011
Last Updated: 06/23/2011


“STOP THE MADNESS!” James was screaming, his face glowing with mirth. Apparently his groin was recovering. Sirius rolled onto his back,  he had his wand out and it was pointed at Lily.
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Chapter 4: She Became Whatever He Wanted

She Became Whatever He Wanted

“Lil’s you really need to stop stressing about the whole thing, just ask him out. It’s not unheard of. You know he likes you,” Delilah smacked her glossed lips in the dormitory mirror then stood back to examine her whole appearance, “Hey you should invite him to Slughorn’s stupid start of year party tonight instead of me. We both know that man thinks I’m a waste of space anyway, he’d love if you and James hooked up. You’d be his clubs first power couple,”

“Slughorn wouldn’t care if James and I started going out,” Lily snorted and Delilah rolled her heavily shadowed eyes dramatically.

“Oh yeah because he doesn’t care about you two at all. He only postponed his party for an entire week because you were both in detention last Saturday.” She arched her back and examined how her hip bones jutted out sceptically, “Do you think I’m gaining weight?” She asked and Lily ignored her.

“I’m not asking him to the party anyway,” Lily sniffed coming over to join Delilah by the mirror, she ran her hands along her stomach hopelessly, “He probably doesn’t fancy me anymore, why else would he not ask me out?”

“Lily it’s Friday night, right? He kissed you last Sunday.” Delilah ruffled her already humongous hair, “It’s not exactly a dire amount of time,”

“It’s the longest he’s ever gone without asking me out,” Lily sighed, “I bet now that he knows I like him back he’s lost interest,”

“That’s not true. It’s not even possible,” Delilah smiled at her friend, “You’re the only one who doesn’t seem to know but James Potter is real gone on you Lil’s, so far gone it was almost pathetic until you started fancying him back.” She went to her wardrobe, “Here.” She pulled out a silky burgundy dress that glimmered eye-catchingly in the dormitory light, “Wear this. Mother knew I wanted one but she sent a ten, it’ll look great with your hair,”

“You are an extremely bad liar,” Lily gushed rushing forwards and grabbing the dress with wide eyes, “You’re mother has never sent you clothes and you’d never be mistaken for a ten and this is the dress I pointed out in London during the summer- Delilah I told you not to!” But she was already struggling out of her plain black skirt and t-shirt set.

Delilah was grinning, “OK so it’s your birthday present but what’s the point in giving you a dress on your birthday if you have no where to wear it to? At least this way you make James Potter fall madly in love with you- even more madly in love with you I mean,”

Lily took the dress from her and set it oh-so carefully on her bed before flinging her arms around her friends neck, “I love you!” She gasped and Delilah laughed hugging her back. “I wish I’d got you something!”

“You did, you got me that mascara back in April, remember?”

“I can’t believe I got you mascara and you got me this!” Lily looked close to tears, “I’ll get you something else-,”

“Don’t be stupid I love that mascara and anyway I love giving presents, it would take away from it if you paid me back in anyway,”

Lily beamed at her, “I’ll put it on then!”

While she was zipping it up Delilah went back to the mirror and applied yet another layer of dark eye shadow, one more sweep of lip gloss and fluffed her hair up a little more. She tugged on her tight band shirt, fiddled with the belt that held up her skin tight white jeans and looked utterly dissatisfied, “I’m definitely gaining weight,” She hissed pinching at the skin on her hip, she barely got more than a fingertips worth but it was enough to make her blue eyes darken with anger. “I’ll never make it if I’m such a fucking fat mess,”

“You’re not fat,” Lily groaned now fully zipped up. She looked beautiful and suddenly felt a hundred times better about the James situation.

Delilah smiled at her, “It looks great,” With one more hate filled glance at the mirror she turned, all smiles, to Lily, “Now lets go, we mustn’t be late or Slughorn might not fancy you anymore,”

“Eww! He does not! You are so sick!” Lily snickered following Delilah to the door, “So what’s happening with you and Sirius?”

“Nothing.” Delilah sounded horribly grumpy.

“Oh nothing? I could have sworn I heard him asking you to Hogsmeade tomorrow?”

“He was suffering a lapse of sanity.” Delilah huffed speeding up as if trying to outrun Lily’s prying.

“I think he fancies you,”

“Well I think he fancies James,”

“I think you fancy him,”

“No Lily you fancy James not me,”

“No I mean you fancy-,”

“You fancy me Evans?” James was at the bottom of the spiral staircase leaning lethargically on the banister with a small, contented grin forming on his handsome face.

“I-,” Lily felt herself flare puce and nearly cussed out loud, “No- Of course not,”

Delilah rolled her eyes and pushed James out of her way, “Why would she fancy you James?” She asked scathingly, “You’re so desperate, you’re like a hippogriff in heat,”

“Those hippogriffs are animals,” Agreed Sirius who was lounging (if one could lounge whilst standing) just behind James, “Beastly in the sack,” He wiggled his eyebrows and Delilah snorted.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if you had forced yourself upon one of the poor creatures,”

“She loved it,”

“Sirius guess what,” James said putting his hand on Delilah’s face and literally pushing her out of his way, “Evans fancies me,”

“No I don’t!” Lily gasped and James rolled his eyes as if to say ‘women!’.

“Don’t you push me Potter!” Delilah growled with clenched fists but she didn’t strike.

“Yeah don’t push her James, just drop something on her head,” Sirius let out a bark like laugh but no one else joined him, “Oh, too soon?”

“Your mother went off her pill too soon,”

“Evans!” Sirius gasped, “I’m shocked,”

“So was she,” Delilah chirped before laughing at her own joke.

James was looking confused, “But if his mother stopped taking her pill why would she be shocked?”

Delilah stopped laughing and looked thoughtful, “I don’t know… But it kind of worked if you don’t think about it too technically,”

“So Evans why do you fancy James? Is it his washboard abs or the fact that he has four adorable eyes?” Sirius asked and Lily scowled.

“I. Don’t. Fancy. James.”

James’ face fell, “Are you so ashamed of our mutual attraction? Is it because I don’t really have washboard abs?”

“It’s because of that weird smell that’s always hanging about you,” Delilah told him, “You should really leave him alone sometimes Sirius,”

“Ooo!” Sirius applauded, “That was almost witty!”

“Ooo!” Delilah mimicked before beginning to walk of, “I’m going to the stupid party now, you coming Lil’s?”

“You weren’t even invited,” Sirius told her back as she walked.

“And yet… I’m going,” Delilah smiled at him, “Funny old world isn’t it?”

Professor Slughorns office was huge in comparison to any other Professors office that Sirius had visited and in his many years of trouble he had made it to a lot of offices. He wondered if it had been magically enhanced then decided he didn’t care enough to think too heavily on the matter. There were lots of banners and posters on the walls tonight, ones that weren’t usually up, they said encouraging pre-school year things like ‘When you fail to prepare you prepare to fail’ and ‘Do not believe the sky is the limit when a Nimbus500 can take you to the moon’. There was also a little notice that allowed older students to volunteer to tutor any younger members of the ‘Slug Club’ in more troublesome areas of their study. Sirius quite cheerfully signed Peters name on the board listing his tutoring to include bum love and belly dancing.

“Ah Mister Black!” Slughorn sauntered towards him with a glass of brandy clutched in one of his chubby paws, the professor looked jovial and kind but there was something in his small, dark eyes that put Sirius off, “So happy you could make it! Young Regulus is around here somewhere if I recall!”

Sirius grinned, “Well if you see him coming this way give me enough warning so that I can hex him before he speaks,”

Slughorn chuckled, “Siblings! When you’re both older you’ll realise how much you care for each other,”

“Somehow I doubt it.” Sirius was still smiling good naturedly but there was a tightness around his eyes that Slughorn didn’t pick up on.

“Family is important Sirius! Why only last week I was speaking to Gwendolyn Gibney- you may have heard of her? She recently won the European round of the best logical wizarding minds?- but that’s neither here nor there,” He chuckled, “Her brother has recently had quite a lot of success in music if you would believe it? Gwendolyn introduced him to her fiancé who happens to produce music, Eric Stanza, and there you go!” He smiled nodding, “In fact Gwen might be coming tonight! Maybe she’ll bring him along?”

“Well that’s all well and good but I doubt Regulus will ever marry someone likely to make me a popstar,” Sirius frowned, “In fact I doubt he’ll ever marry, he’s not exactly a good looking bloke is he?”

Slughorn laughed again, “Oh Sirius you do slay me,” Then he pottered off to talk to Lily who was by the buffet table murmuring with James.

“Can you believe him?” Sirius asked sliding up to where Delilah was standing fiddling with the hem of her white, summer dress. “Me and Regulus caring about each other,” He snorted, “The only thing I care about Regulus doing is falling off something quite high up,”

“Hmm,” Delilah replied shooting him a curious look.

“So, lets put all this silliness to the side,” Sirius grinned wickedly at her, “Why don‘t we accept the sexual tension and just shag already?”

Delilah gaped at him and then in a shocked voice said, “What sexual tension? We’ve barely spoken!”

“Oh, you’re a conversation girl then?” Teased Sirius sliding his arm around her shoulder playfully, “Fine. Then I reopen my offer to Hogsmeade. I’ll take you to the Hogshead, get you liquored up (I’m paying, of course), then seduce you on the way back to the castle. Does that sound like a plan?”

“I… I can’t believe you’re saying this to me. It’s inappropriate!”

“Sometimes you have to be a little inappropriate to get what you want. I’ve wanted you for ages now. Come on, it’ll be fun,” Sirius winked at her.

“Really? For ages?”

“Oh yeah, ages,” Sirius nodded, “You’re cute little butt, those freckles on your nose…”

“Well I don’t know…”

“I’m just playing you know. I won’t try any funny stuff if you don’t want. We can just hang out and talk,”


“Don’t break my heart now,” He warned clutching his shirt over his chest.

She laughed, “OK then, I’ll meet you in the entrance hall tomorrow morning?”

“Well… OK… the entrance hall if you want,” He reached for her hand and kissed it, “Until the morn fair maiden,”

“Yeah…” She watched him walk off feeling utterly wrong footed but undeniably pleased. She was still feeling bemused when Professor Slughorn approached her and handed her a tall glass of pumpkin juice, “Ah, I’m so glad you could make it!” He beamed, “Did you enjoy your summer, Jessica? How are the family?”

Out of the party and further along the corridor in the potions classroom Delilah was perched atop a desk with her legs wrapped around Lucius’ waist, “Happy birthday,” She purred in a faux-sexy voice as he stroked the denim over her thighs, “I’ve got you a present,” She whispered.

“Oh really?” Lucius’ eyebrows rose, “Where is it? Wait is it you? Oh good, can I unwrap it?” He began tugging at her belt buckle and she laughed pushing him away.

“No… well yes but that’s part two of my present,” She winked at him, “This is your real present,” She unwrapped her legs and hopped off the table.

“… I’m not liking this present so far,” Lucius frowned and she stuck her tongue out at him. She reached into the back pocket of her jeans and pulled out a folded picture.

“Here,” She handed it to him. He unfolded the picture and grinned when he saw her face beaming back at him with a cheeky smile and a wink.

“Oh wow a picture of you,” He mocked but his smile was pleased.

“It’s not just one picture of me,” Delilah was grinning too, “It’s a whole album in one photo,”

“Just what I always wanted,”

“No seriously. Put your finger on it and say ‘Delilah in that black, lacy underwear I love’,” She watched as shot her a disbelieving glance.

“It doesn’t do that does it?”

“Oh yes and much more,”

“Oh my.” He touched it, “Delilah in that black, lacy underwear I love,” She appeared in the photo wearing the underwear, giggling and posing for him. He grinned, “Now this is great, but how can I keep this? If anyone finds it our cover is blown,”

“That’s the beauty,” She came forward and wrapped her arms around his neck smiling up at him, “Only you and I can see it,”

“I knew I loved you for your brains,”

She beamed at him, “Well now every time that skanky Narcissa is all over you, you can take out your picture and make me do dirty stuff. You have no excuse for looking at her now,”

He groaned, “It’s my birthday! No talk of Narcissa Black!” He kissed her forehead before holding the photo up and examining it, he touched it, “Delilah starkers,” The photo stayed the same, “Ah you held out!” He complained and she smirked pulling back from him.

“Oh no, let me make it up to you,” Her t-shirt was suddenly lying on the floor, “Starkers did you say?” She undid her belt buckle, “Well you are the birthday boy,” The belt was thrown on top of the shirt, she undid the top button of her jeans, “Now here’s what makes my present the best gift ever,” She shimmied the jeans down her legs and stepped out of them, she flicked them at him with her toes, “When these panties come off all you have to do is look at me, remember what I look like and touch the page. Next time you say you want to see my starkers I’ll be there, exactly like I am now,”

“It’s not the page I’ll be touching when those panties come off,”

“You beast you,”

“I love you, Delilah,”

“I love you too,”

Back at the party Lily was on her second platter of cocktail sausages and feeling like her beautiful dress was being wasted on a man who did not appreciate how utterly stunning it was. James had been talking about Quiddich, non-stop for the past hour. She’d zoned out somewhere after the first thirty seconds but now that she liked him she couldn’t find the words to tell him to shut up, she wanted him to go back to being the guy he’d been on the bleachers! She smiled blankly at him and looked wistfully in the direction of the crowd wondering where Delilah was and if she was having a better time than Lily.

“-You?” James’ mouth had stopped moving.

Panicked Lily nodded, “I agree,”

“You agree?” James looked confused.

“No.” Lily backtracked, “Not really… Well yes but no,” She grinned then her face fell and she rolled her eyes, “Oh sod it, I haven’t been listening. You’ve been talking about Quiddich forever, I don’t care about Quiddich James, truly,”

James looked thunderstruck, “But you go to every practice?”

She shrugged, “I just have nothing better to do. Sorry. I’m not the woman you thought I was,” She began to walk off but James grabbed her wrist to stop her.

“Lily if I had of known you don’t like Quiddich I wouldn’t have talked about it for so long! I was just nervous and thought that was something we have in common! I don’t like you because I thought you liked my sport,” He laughed, “It was just an added bonus,” There was sincerity brimming in his hazel eyes and Lily felt a strange jolt in her stomach, “Come to Hogsmeade with me tomorrow,” He moved his hand from her wrist to her hand, holding it lightly, “On a date, please let me take you on one date Lily Evans,”

“Why’d you kiss me then take so long to ask me out?” Lily asked before she could stop herself and James flushed slightly.


“No it’s Ok,” Lily knew she was bright red, she removed her hand from his and fussed with her hair, pushing it from her face in agitation, “You don’t have to answer-,”

“I didn’t ask you out because I was worried that that was my only kiss with you ever and I didn’t want to ruin the memory by getting rejected again.” James was staring quite solidly at his shoes, “I wanted to have the kiss be something of hope for as long as possible before it became bitter sweet,”

Lily gaped at him, “Oh… I thought it was because you didn’t like me anymore,”

James looked gob smacked, “I could never not like you!”

Lily flushed even darker but her lips were twitching upwards, “So where are you taking me tomorrow?”

James’ face grew into a huge smile, “Wherever you want to go m’lady!”

Back in the potions classroom Delilah and Lucius were sprawled on the cool stone floor whispering to one another. Delilah had her leg flung over Lucius’ and her fingernails playing on his bare chest, he in turn was running his fingers up and down her spine.

“It’ll be somewhere secluded, somewhere rural with acres of land where we keep the horses and the dogs,” Lucius was saying placing a hot, soft kiss on her forehead, “It’ll just be the two of us and the cat in the house. Well do stupid stuff like match the curtains and the rugs and spend all day in bed or watering the flowers,”

“We’ll have a television but never watch it,” Delilah pitched in with her face nestled in the curve between his neck and shoulder, inhaling the scent of him, “We’ll spend hours just wandering around the grounds talking about nothing and everything. People might judge us but we won’t care, we don’t need anyone else,” She snuggled even closer to him, “We’ll have a stupid sign above the door saying ‘cottage sweet cottage’ and another in the hall saying something corny like ‘sometimes I wake up grumpy and sometimes I let him sleep’.”

“You’ll bake scones wearing nothing but an apron and I’ll smoke a pipe and train one of the dogs to bring me my slippers-,”

Delilah laughed out loud, “I’ll always nag you to repaint the fence before the good weather turns and to unblock the fireplace before the days get cold,”

“I’ll do the crossword in the Daily Prophet and call you an old nag and mutter nastily about you to the cat,”

“I’ll get my hair set once a week and always have a pink rinse. I’ll get really fat but give you tiny portions because of your cholesterol,”

“I’ll sneak out to the garden shed to secretly smoke and eat steak sandwiches with the brooms. When the kids visit I’ll look at you and roll my eyes,”

“I’ll knit my own tea cosies and make you jumpers that are horribly itchy but you have to wear them,”

“I’ll never do anything around the house and drive you mad,”

“I’ll always cook dry chicken for dinner then give the dog something that looks more appetising,”

“I’ll wake up early every morning just to watch you sleep, then I’ll wake you with a kiss and let you know I love you unconditionally no matter what I mutter to our pets,”

“And I’ll call you an old fool but secretly wish we were young again so we could do it all over,” Delilah raised her face and pressed her forehead to his, “But I wouldn’t change a single thing,”

They kissed slowly and carefully. Delilah sunk into the feeling of his lips on hers and allowed the emotions she was feeling fill her up. Lucius Malfoy could simultaneously make her deliriously happy and so sad she could weep forever. She felt tears stirring behind her closed eyes and kissed him harder. She imagined them in their country cottage with their pets and photos of the family, she imagined their garden shed and paint chipped fence and knew it was all a beautiful lie. Nothing more than a nice story to tell one another because Lucius would never choose her over his family. He wasn’t willing to sacrifice his reputation, or besmirch his family name but she was. She was willing to sacrifice anything to be with him and that included her pride. So she’d stay quiet and play the game, submerge herself in the dream and then cry herself to sleep.

He rolled onto her and cupped her face in his hands as the classroom door swung open. The couple sprung apart automatically, both trying to cover themselves but it was too late. Andromeda Black stood in the doorway, her eyes were wild and her mouth wide. With a quick apology she closed the door again and left the pair sitting in stunned silence. 

A/N So? What do you think? Love it or hate it let me know! Can you figure out where it's going? Have I made it too obvious? Thanks so much to those who have reviewed so far! I've noticed some loyal reviwers already and I'm SO grateful! Reviews really make me feel inspired to write! Thank you again! Please R/R!! x x x