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Falling for Sirius by princesslily_36

Format: Novella
Chapters: 23
Word Count: 31,292

Rating: 15+
Warnings: Scenes of a mild sexual nature

Genres: Drama, Humor, Romance
Characters: Lupin, James, Lily, Sirius, Pettigrew, OC
Pairings: Sirius/OC, James/Lily

First Published: 09/08/2006
Last Chapter: 09/17/2007
Last Updated: 03/26/2016


My name is Juliet Anna Potter. I'm James Potter's twin sister. Life has always been pretty normal for me. That is, until my friend Sirius decided to play matchmaker for my brother and Lily. Now we're supposed to act like we're dating - only it's all pretend...right? Everything's so messed up - especially since I started getting butterflies in my stomach whenever Sirius is around...47,000+ reads!! AMAZING Banner by .amaris @ TDA

Chapter 20: It's all over...

Ok it was 2 days and James had not spoken to either of us. He was angry with Remus but at least he was still speaking to him. And Lily. He was hurt that Lily hadn’t told him. I guess they had had a big row about it that day he was told about this whole thing because during lunch they had gone off together and Lily returned with her face all red and her green eyes flaring up in anger and indignance.

“I am not obliged to tell him everything I know! Does he think he owns me just because I like him?” she muttered furiously as she flopped down with us.

And I was feeling really miserable. Guilt makes you feel that way you know… and I just couldn’t help the sinking feeling in my heart that James was right. Maybe to Sirius I was just another venture… another girl to go in his black book…

And these disturbing thoughts entered my head because of Sirius’ stand offish behavior towards me. Since he had left me after the confrontation we hadn’t talked at all… and he was, well I got the feeling he was ignoring me. and I don’t think I could talk to Lily because I could see that she was upset with her big row with James. Seeing that he hadn’t given her a glance as such after that. And beneath her anger and indignance I could see that she was very upset. And Kia… well she’s sweet and all but all she is going to do is say I told you so and no I’m not in the mood for that as of now.

We were all sitting in the common room. But this time it was different you know… because James and Remus were sitting near the fireplace, me, Lily and Kia (please, no mood for grammar here!) were sitting right at the other end near all the bean bags… and Sirius was sitting on the couch. Peter, well he seemed to be at a loss where to go at first but he decided not to get on James’ bad side and joined him and Remus. It was clear that we were all not at all in the mood to do homework… (not that we ever are but this time we all were miserable) and I got the impression that Kia was ignoring me too for some reason. I hated all this! And the glances she seemed to give me gave me the feeling that she was holding me responsible for the rift of the Marauders.

There was a tension binding all of us even though we were seated at different ends of the common room. And this tension seemed to be choking me. It was all my fault you see. Kia’s way of saying may not be exactly kind (don’t get me wrong she is very sweet… but very stubborn and direct) but she was right. It was I who had fallen for Sirius in spite of knowing very well how James felt about it. It was me who had saved Sirius a couple of times when he was getting ready to tell James the whole thing… and now I was also responsible for Lily and James’ fight (break up? Oh dear hope not!!!!!) After all that I had done to get them together…

“Will you stop it!” snapped Kia. I jumped out of my reverie. She was looking at me with that sort of determined look she has about her… and her glasses made her look even more stern. I didn’t know what I had done now.

“Stop self pitying yourself!” she chided me.

“But I-”

“Oh please! Its written all over your face! Why do you blame yourself alone? Doesn’t Sirius have a say in it!”

“Kia please… he’s miserable as it is! And it’s my entire fault!”

“No its not! He liked you too! And I don’t see why you are so afraid to stand up for what you like!”

Her words startled me. I thought she would blame me instead she seemed to make me feel I was right… maybe I was… I just stared back at her.

“Well yea! If you and Sirius really like each other then why should James stop you? So he feels protective of you and judging by Sirius’ reputation anyone would! But then, its Sirius’ job to show him he actually feels something for you and that this is not a fling. So really you don’t have to feel guilty or anything! If anyone should be doing something it’s Sirius!” and with that she went back to her homework. Her matter-of-fact tone had gotten me thinking. This girl was good! And so right! I don’t see how someone can be right all the time! But she was… and yes it was up to Sirius to show James that he really liked me… did he? Ok I don’t want to get into that… not now at least…

“She’s right!” said Lily, voicing my thoughts, “James is just very protective of you and when it comes to guys like Sirius I agree! Sirius maybe his best friend and all but when you look at his dating record no guy would want him near their sister!” she said, “you should go talk to him!”

“No! He won't even look at me!” I said miserably.

“I was talking about Sirius!” said Lily.

“Oh!” I said. I thought she was talking about James. Yea maybe I should talk to Sirius. And the sooner I do it the better. I cannot stand seeing him looking so sad… he looked too cute for that… I want to kiss him and make it all better… but I guess that wouldn’t be too wise considering James was very much in the vicinity. But I still had to talk to him. I got up and walked towards Sirius, a little hesitantly. I sat next to him on the couch and I could feel James’ eyes snap up at that.

“Hey…” I said softly. He looked up and gave a curt nod of acknowledgement. I took a deep breath. This was not going to be easy. “Sirius… can we talk…”

“Oh now you want to talk is it?” he asked me sarcastically, finally looking up to meet my eyes. I was a taken aback. What was wrong with him now?

“Uhm… yea…” I said confused. Uh-oh wrong move! He seemed to get even madder at that…

“Talk… isn’t that what you do all the time? What’s stopping you now? Why so suddenly you need my permission?”

“Sirius…” I said indicating him to lower his voice as many people stopped their work and turned around to see us.

“Don’t Sirius me ok! You ignore me for two days and now you want to talk is it? Lets talk-”

I ignored you?” I asked indignantly, cutting him off. Some gall he has blaming me for all this! If at all it was he who was ignoring me. “You were the one who ignored me! And now you’re trying to blame it all on me?”

“I don’t want to blame anything on you ok! I was right in the beginning! I never should have gotten together with you… This whole thing was a big mistake!” he said roughly.

Mistake? You call this a mistake? Is that what our… this relationship with me was for you? A mistake?” I shrieked. I saw a group of first years staring at us with their wide eyes and snapped at them, “what are you people looking at? Haven’t your parents taught you it’s rude to stare? All of you!” I added looking at the common room at large and thankfully most of them had the grace to blush and return to their work and I turned back to Sirius.

“Look…” he started slowly.

“No, don’t say anything. Let it be a… a mistake ok… it was a mistake for us to get involved! We’re agreed on that now aren’t we? Now if you don’t mind I have some homework to do!” and with that I walked away, taking the little of my dignity with me, not caring to look at James or Sirius and went straight to where I was sitting. I picked up my parchment and pretended to be busily writing my assignment but in reality I was trying to hide the tears that threatened to flow. I was not going to cry in front of the whole common room… especially not in front of the person who said that getting involved with me was a mistake. I’m too proud for that and all Sirius had done with his little statement was to hurt my pride… James was right! I was just another fling for him… and when he thought he had had enough he had told James knowing very well that this was ideal for a break up. Didn’t he love living in the edge? Maybe that’s why he wanted to date me… because dating me would be exciting. What a fool I had been! And now Sirius lost nothing! James would be glad that he broke up with me and they would become friends… and Sirius would chase another girl to snog… 

And just then i realised something that set my heart thudding...

A realization that made my insides squirm...

I realised that I was the only loser in this deal...

Because I was falling in love with Sirius.