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LOVE & BROOMSTICKS by StepUpx_Gryffindor

Format: Novel
Chapters: 35
Word Count: 216,870
Status: WIP

Rating: Mature
Warnings: Strong Language, Mild Violence, Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Substance Use or Abuse, Sensitive Topic/Issue/Theme

Genres: Humor, Romance, Young Adult
Characters: Lupin, Sirius, F. Longbottom, Lily, James, Pettigrew, OC
Pairings: James/Lily, Sirius/OC, Other Pairing

First Published: 07/23/2006
Last Chapter: 03/09/2015
Last Updated: 03/09/2015


You know what I hate? Having James Potter as your playmate as a child, & then having him turn into an egotistical pig as soon as we both set foot in Hogwarts. All the jokes, teasing, cat-calling... I can't stand it! I can't stand him. James Potter may have that devlishly handsome grin going for him, but I'm not falling for it! I've survived him for 5 years & I'm sure I can make it through my Sixth Year without him... I think?

Chapter 4: The Sleepover

Author’s note:

Gosh! I feel bad that I didn’t update so quick! I’m so sorry! It’s been like, 4 weeks. PLEASE DON’T THROW ROCKS AT ME! ♥ I was SUPER busy.

I hope you like it! Oh, and so you know, at the end of the chapter there's a picture of one of the characters in this story. I'm going to go through everyone involved :D

“Jeans?” I ask her.
“Hair brush?”

My dad said Jess was allowed to spend the night, so Mrs. Finelly picked us up. She brought us home and I’m helping Jess pack her overnight bag before going off to my house. The whole ride up here we were talking about how we were going to get James back for messing with our sleepover the last time. Every sleepover that we have at my house always gets a different ‘surprise’ from him. The last time, he spooked us and shut off the lights in the house. Regardless, we ended up at the bottom of my stairs. We would have been lucky if we actually fell. But no , we had to FLY.

I can just remember the faint cries of ”Jessica, your butt is crushing me!” and “Well jeez! I would move off of you if you could take your foot out of my armpit, thank you!”

And you don’t even want to hear the rest.

Please don’t ask me how that arrangement happened. Even we don’t know how my foot was jammed up her armpit WHILE she was sitting on me.


So not fair that she has an iPod... I want one sooooo bad!

Hm, let’s mess with her shall we?



“Che- hey!”

I smile, feeling accomplished. “What is it with you and diapers-” Jessica asks before getting cut off by her ringtone, "Lips of a Angel" by Hinder. She picks up her mobile and clicks the button. “Hey, Remus.”


“Oh, nothing. Just getting ready too… -Are you serious?”
Um, okay... WHAT?!
“Oh, okay, thanks.”
I want to know!
“See you later then, bye.”
Tell me, damn it.

She shuts it off and tosses it on her bed, and looks at me. “Remus just told me that James is having a sleepover too.”

“Um, what?!”

“… With all the Marauders.”

Oh, jeez.

I’m guessing my face shows what I’m thinking because then I hear, “Lily, stop with that face. It creeps me out.”

It’s easier said than done.

“But anyway…” Jessica says with emphasis, “Don’t freak out over it, Lily. You’re so paranoid… This could be the perfect way to get back at James for messing with our sleepover the last time! ”

I relax almost immediately. She’s right. “I like the way you think.”

“Yes, I know, darling. Have a seat; let us plan this thing well….”


Mrs. Finelly pulls up to my drive way, and I can see in the window that my dad is talking to someone in a pinstripe suit. He looks like he’s some big casino guy! Who is he? He must be new.

“Here we are!” She says as she unlocks the doors. My dad sees us and waves, we wave back. Jess and I both get out and head towards the trunk. “Whoa, who’s the DeNiro dude talking to your dad?”

I love that Jessica actually knows muggle actors, I just love it! She practically knows who ever I’m talking about when it comes to muggle movies and actors/actresses from America. I guess it’s the massive amounts of time we hang out with each other. Not many people at Hogwarts know what I’m talking about if I bring up an American movie, or some Italian actor. Or maybe, it might just be the ‘pureblood’ thing. We’re not regular English folks. Ok, I take that back. With or without the ‘pureblood’ thing, we’re sort of kind of weird. Or should I say Unique.

In our own way of course.

“I don’t know… maybe a new neighbor.” She hands me one of her bags. Yeah, I said it. ONE OF HER BAGS. She has like, five! Plus our books from this morning at Diagon Alley.

Mrs. Finelly gets out, and greets my dad. My dad introduces her to Creepy DeNiro Dude. I think I’ll call him CDD for short. Ha! It sounds like some sort of disease! Um... yeah, anyway… They start talking, and the man in the pinstripe suit does this thing with his hands. It’s like every word he says has a hand gesture that goes with it. His hands are flying! I mean, not in rage or anything, he’s just, er... passionate when he talks?

“Ooof.” She plops another bag (and, thankfully, the last) on top of me. I’m carrying more than the Hogwarts Express at this point. She’s holding one duffle bag and a purse. I’m holding three carry-on bags and another duffle bag. Plus all her books and mine. You do the math.

The trio of adults has departed, and Mrs. Finelly is coming back towards the car. “Take care, girls! Call if you need anything, my sweetie pies.” She hugs us and closes the trunk.

She honks, and then she’s off. Great, we’re left with CDD and my dad.


I make my way up there with Jessica on my side and say, “Hey, Dad.” We set all the bags on my porch and walk back to my dad.

“Lilian! I’d like you to meet Mr. Di Angeli. He’s our new neighbor from around the corner. Mr. Di Angeli, this is my daughter’s friend Jessica.” He hand shakes Jess and then mine, with a firm grip. Not gentle but not rough either. He does it in a manner that says he’s the boss.

We definitely have an Italian in our midst.

I don't stereotype, and I don’t label people either, it’s just obvious. My aunt Betsy married an Italian, and I used to spend time at her house over the summer with my cousin Tina when I was younger.

“He’s used to live in the United States. He and his family immigrated there from Italy. He left Italy about 15 years ago. Am I right, fifteen years?” My dad asks him.

“Yes, yes. I have traveled all around the United States and thought I might like to see the types of businesses here. So my family and I moved in just a day ago,” He says to us, with an italian and 'American' accent, so you could tell straight away he's not English. “We're still moving our things over.” His voice is rough, but smooth at the same time. How does he do these things all at once? His eyes are also smokey, but worn into; he has wrinkles around his eyes, probably in his mid-40’s. His eyes are like the clouds, with the gray and blue twisting together.

We chat for a bit, and I find out that he has a daughter, Teresa, and a son, Marco. His name is Luca, and his wife’s name is Lisa. And, he owns a casino! He’s relocating his casino business over seas and it’ll be up and running within the next month.


So he is a casino guy. Jessica is better at this observing skill then I thought.

“Excuse us; we have some stuff to do. See you later, Mr. Evans. Nice meeting you Mr. Di Angeli!” says Jessica, shaking his hand, and showing her pearly-white smile with those award winning dimples. I shake his hand also, and we leave them alone to continue their talk. Jessica and I carry all the bags upstairs and because I was holding most of them I had to make a second trip. Jessica comes down to help me. We make a dash for my room, but we get a slight encounter in the hallway.

“Hello, Freak. Hello, Friend of the freak.”


“Petunia, please. You can’t come up with anything cleverer to insult us with? I mean, here we are, Lily and I. And you can’t seem to find something more 21st century? How lame. And besides,” Jessica says, pushing her out of the way as she flips her purse over her shoulder, “with all that make up on your face, you look like the freak. The circus called, they want their clown make up back.”

Oh, did I not mention that my sister and my best friend are not exactly fond of each other?

Well, now you know.

I wish I could stand up like that… to any one. The only person I don’t have a problem talking back to is Jam-I mean POTTER.

Slap me now.

What is happening to me? Am I loosening up? Do I want Potter as a friend?


Yeah, right.

Ok, so I should definitely get a life and stop talking to you! You little man inside my head!

“Ugh,” Petunia says with a scowl, giving us the dirtiest look she could muster. She runs down the other side of the hall where we came from, and goes to her room. We reach my bedroom door, and walk in. We set up Jess’s stuff, mainly her bags.

“How do you do it?”

“Do what?

“How did you put Petunia in her place like that, or actually; how do you do that with anyone for that matter.”

“Ok, Lily, you need to stop being want people want you to be and be yourself. I know that you could say what I said, three times as bad. You just don’t have the guts, and I know that the whole ‘Petunia hates me’ situation was really hard for you, but this is ridiculous. Why the hell is she on your ass, still? It’s been six years. She needs to get a life, and stay out of yours.”

“I don’t know, Jess. It’s just… it scarred me in a way, you know? Most of my confidence has gone, and I got a lot of insecurities because of it. Like, she was my best friend, and I trusted her with my life. Now, I don’t even think she even cares about my life. And that’s what hurts the most.”

“I know. But now you have me, and your damn lucky, Lilian Evans. I will be there for you, and I am NOT shallow. I won’t ditch you for anything, anyone, and any kind of human-made object. No matter how weird that just sounded, you actually know what I mean. Ahhh, am I making you smile? Hmmm?” Jessica says, poking me.

She’s teasing me, and I can’t help but grin.

“Yeah yeah, I’m smiling…” I take a couple magazines from my drawer out.

“Good! Pass me this month’s Enchanted issue, please.” Jessica plops on my bed, and we read all my issues of Enchanted and pick out which guys we think are gorgeous. A half hour later, she asks, “Hey, you get the daily newspaper right?”

“Yep. Be back in a second.” I pull out one from this morning’s mail and race up the stairs. I kick off my shoes and plop on the bed again, and hand it to her.

“There’s this picture of someone from school in the paper, and uh… I think it’s something you might like to see.”


“Well, it’s quite entertaining. This ‘person’ won some kind of chemistry wizard award or what ever. What a dork.”

How nice.

“Do I know this person?”

“Oh yeah.” She says. She flips through the pages, and stops. I’m guessing she found this picture of this so called dork.

“Ew, look at that girl’s hair cut. It’s revolting!” I say as I point to the picture.

Jessica starts to howl in laughter, and I begin to think she might have been dropped on the head a couple times as a baby. “LILY! YOU IDIOT!”

I give her a puzzling look.

And that’s when the *DING* occurs to me.

“Let me see that again.” I snatch it back, and Jessica resumes her laughter. I look at it. I look at her, and back at the picture.

Without realizing I formed an "O" with my mouth.

Jess calms herself, and looks at my face. And then she laughs in my face.


“Haha, I love it when you think, and then your face expression shows exactly what your thinking.”

Oh gosh, the world has figured me out! Maybe I should change my identity!


I stare her straight in the face, and she stops laughing.


“Yes, well, welcome back to earth.”

“You should probably run away from earth! You just said that Severus Snape was a girl and had a revolting hair cut!”



“I have to go to a dinner party tonight, for work. I’m leaving you and Jessica with the house, and I expect it to not be in bits and pieces when I come back.”

Jess and I nod and smile, trying to look mature.

Pst- let me tell you a secret…


This is so perfect, it’s crazy.

“You know, maybe I should ask Petunia if she could watch-”


I think that was a bit much for in-the-face screaming.

“Excuse me, Lilian?”

“What she means,” Jessica says, “is that Petunia has her own plans, and we’re definitely old enough to have our own sleepover. We did a good job last time didn’t we?”

I wince at the memories, and rub the bruise on my butt.

“Jessica, when I came home, it was only 9 o’clock. As soon as I come it, I find dents and scratches all over my floors!”


“Um…” She’s shifting her wait on her feet. She smiles anyway with those dimples. “Plllleeaassseee?” She’s good with the puppy face too. This girl is amazing.

“Well… Okay. I'll be back really later because we have a firm that was double booked and we can’t post-pone it, so I expect the house to be clean when I get back, since I’ll be out so late. If you want this privilege of having a sleepover while I’m out this late, then you’ll have to spit shine everything. Think of it as a little tax from the last time.”

But leaving the house dirty is like our copyright law! It’s our trademark and now we have to clean the entire house?

Jessica pinches me discreetly and I know she’s thinking the same thing.

“No problem, Mr. Evans. It’ll be spic-n-span when you get back, and we’ll clean up after ourselves.” Jess gives me a little look with her eyes, a tiny but insignificant glance.

She’s planning something.

“Alright, girls. I trust you with this. Don’t let me down,” Dad says. He opens the door, hugs us, and I close the door with a big slam.

“Lily, this is so like Alexa Vega in that muggle movie it’s not even funny. What’s it called? OH! Yes, that movie ‘Sleepover’!”

“I know!”


Oh, wait… did you here that? Hm…

I just heard two different things.

One, for sure, is my stomach. It’s signaling that I need food. I’m Hungry.

But the other sound, I have no idea. It sounded like a crack and a slam from upstairs. Jess and I give each other quizzical looks and race up the stairs. We hear the sound again and it’s coming from Petunia’s room.


No point, I know she’s sneaking out again, Even though she told dad that she was going to the library. My dad just pulled out of the driveway and Petunia doesn’t want to be seen from the front door, knowing he’ll see. How do I know? It’s happened so many times I lost count after one-hundred twenty-seven.

She’s sneaking to the 20-year-old-looking-but-really-18-year-old Vernon’s house. He lives about 3 blocks away in the next development. Why the hell doesn’t everyone have to be so damn close to our house?

She doesn’t even say anything to us.


“It just Petunia,” I say. “I’m hungry, let’s go down to the kitchen and have some dinner. It’s around 6:00 already.”

First we change into our pj’s. I’m wearing my old shirt from second year and short shorts that are super comfy. Jessica is wearing a shirt that says ‘Mrs. Beckham’ on the front and her pants say ‘David’s Property’ on the butt. Oh my, this child has lost it. I think she got them specially done. And that’s the scary part.

After, we go down to the kitchen. Jess is making home made lemonade and I’m popping popcorn in the microwave. We’re planning to watch a movie. But since we’re lazy, that’s probably the only thing we’re going to make. Trust me, compared to our sleepovers, this by far, is a nutritious dinner.

I plop my butt on top of the kitchen table and wait for the popcorn to pop, which should be in about 2 minutes according to the packet.

I’m bored. I hate waiting for food to cook. The Evans’ household is the only magical family on the block with a microwave. How embarrassing. But still, I can’t be ignorant of my other half. I’m still muggle-born, so I try to save the enchantment when I’m in the house.

I’m still bored. Come on, little man in my head. Help me out here.

Argh. I should have gotten that leisure book! Oh, the memories. I don’t even want to think about Potter. I zap up a book from upstairs that I read five days ago. Am I proud to be a dork? DAMN STRAIGHT.

I would help her with the lemons, but she had second the motion that I was a weakling and that I could barely get her bags.

After three minutes I look over.

Jessica’s two steps away from committing double homicide on the lemons.

“Jessica, calm down.” I hop off the table and bookmark my page.

I turn on the radio and Ciara’s “Get Up” song plays. Jessica puts the lemons down on the table, wipes her hands with a cloth, and makes her way over to me. We start dancing like crazy. We giggle and wiggle and jiggle for a little bit.

In mid swing, the door bell rings. It knocks us conscious and Jessica goes back to those poor lemons.

“Don’t worry about me. Get the door bell.” Does it look like I want to leave her with the squeezer and fifteen lemons? Besides, the door bell just threw off my groove and I want to keep dancing. At least Jessica’s still bopping her booty to the music.

I just said ‘booty’.

I should be tsunami slammed.

It rings again. “Alright! I’m coming.” I open the front door and see some horror movie DVDs.

“Hey, Jessica, did you owl your movies?”

“Oh, they’re here?”

“Yeah,” I yell back, scooping up the movies. I put them on our coffee table, and then the microwave dings. Yay, popcorn!

“So, what’s with the movies?” I add butter and salt to the popcorn. “I asked my mom to apparate them over here. I asked her to ring the door bell so I knew she delivered them, but I forgot about it until you opened the door. I thought it would’ve looked strange if an owl swooped in your neighborhood with DVD’s dangling from its little feet.”

“Oh, okay. Thanks,” I say with a chuckle. When I’m done with the popcorn I shut the radio off and I’m about to go to the living room when Jessica yells at me, “Put extra salt on my popcorn!” Ew. I was hoping she wouldn’t notice. Unfortunately, she always does. Jessica always has popcorn with extra salt. And she puts too much! It’s down right nasty.

I get the salt shaker, and put a couple more pinches. Then I sit on the couch and eat a little popcorn. Jess comes in with the glasses of lemonade. “Thanks for cleaning the kitchen up, Jess. Much appreciated.”

“No problem, Lily. Let’s look through my movies and choose which one we’ll watch first.”

I look from left to right.

Left: The Grudge.

Right: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

“The Texas Chainsaw Massacre,” I tell her.

“What? Why? I was hoping you’d pick The Grudge.”

“Jessica, I already had enough of the girl who fell down the damn well and comes out of televisions to kill you. I don’t need anymore dead girls with dark hair.”

“Alright, press play.”


“OMG! This is the part when-“

“Jess! Shut it!” I cup her mouth as we watch the people on the screen getting sliced.

We’re at the part when the murderer dude with the chainsaw is no where.

And as soon as he comes out of nowhere and raises his chainsaw is when we hear the loudest, scariest noise ever.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” We both scream. Well, if you want to get all technical about it… I was squealing, Jess was screaming. The popcorn bowl flips over and flies everywhere. We jump on the couch and jump up and down.

We hug each other in fright. What? That’s what girls do.


How the hell should I know?

“I don’t know… I think it came from outside,” I say with a whisper. I sound like a little kid. I think this terrible sound traumatized me!

“Go and check it out,” I say. I push her towards the door.

“Well, this is your house, you go and look!” She moves behind me and pushes me forward.

“Hell no, I’m not going out there!”

“You wimp.”

“Hey, you’re as much of a wimp as I am!”

“Okay how about we both look together?”

“Fine, then.”

_1 minute later_

“Jessica, stop pushing me!”

“You haven’t moved an inch! Just go!”

The suspense is killing me.

“Well, if you must me blunt about it…”



I roll my eyes and we walk (well, struggle) all the way up to the door arm in arm.

I open the door. There’s nothing.

We scream again.

“Lily, Damn it! Why didn’t you turn off the TV!? That stupid horror scene with that creepy music is playing.”

We walk in backwards, our eyes still on the door, and I get the remote from behind me on the couch and click off the movie.


Arm in arm still, we walk back up to the door.

“Should we step out?”


We poke our heads out and get splashed in the face with sprinklers and hoses.

“Nice one, Moony!”

I hear howling laughter.

THOSE BITCHES. It’s freezing!

“Ah! Lily, I’m soaked!”

“Remus! Shut those sprinklers off RIGHT NOW!” I scream.

I spit out about a gallon of water that had been splashed into my mouth. I can’t believe they hosed us! They’re still laughing. Jessica and I are about two steps away from popping our heads off.

We open our eyes and wipe our faces and ring our hair and pj’s out.

“Oh, get up off the grass. It was NOT that funny,” Jessica says.

Sirius is rolling on the ground. “How could you guys do this?!” I say.

“Well, Evans, we needed a distraction. And that noise pretty much set you off,” Sirius says.

Oh, the nerve!

They all stand and help each other up. “That noise scared us half to death!” She says to Sirius.

“I know, Finelly, we heard.”

“Shut your trap,” Jessica replies.

“Oh, come on, you have to admit, it was good,” Peter says.

“And besides, it isn’t all bad,” Remus says. He of all people, I thought, would be more considerate. But then again, he’s still a marauder, and there’s a little bit of all of them in each other.

I shiver. How is it not all bad?

“Yeah, Moony’s right. You two look pretty cute in your pajamas.” He takes turns looking at us. He looks in Jessica's direction.

“Jess, I think you’re obsessing.”

“For your info, I don’t obsess. I think intensely, ” She responds.

He looks at me up and down.

“And Lily, well, you’re tight and fit aren’t you? James was right; you are a cute little thing.”

I try not to blush, and pull my drenched shirt down a little bit, realizing that I was barely covered. My T-shirt is up high and because I was younger when I wore it, I grew out of it and it became a belly shirt. Now, it was practically exposing my entire tummy.

Well this sucks.

My short shorts aren’t helping either. I wore them because they were comfy and worn into, so they were soft. But, because they were too short, they were low rise and squeezed my bottom.

Hey, at least I didn’t say ‘booty’.

I can tell that Jessica’s as uncomfortable as I am, because all three of them are looking at us-

Um, come again?


I count again.






That means one is missing.

Realization comes to my face, because Sirius sees me counting in my mind and says, “Chill out, Lily. James is already inside.”

I am the definition of HORRFIED at this point. He’s inside the house?

I give them all glares, signaling that I’ll be returning. “STAY HERE. DON’T MOVE,” I tell them.

I take Jessica and drag her along with me inside. I close the door and head for the stairs. Why is it that Potter is always the one who's never with the marauders when something bad happens? Why is he always the one who's behind me?

I. Hate. Boys.

“I can’t believe them!” Says Jess with a shiver.

“I know!”

“Um, Lily?”


“Why are we going upstairs?”

“We’re going upstairs because, unfortunately, James would probably go in my room.”

“Yeah and let’s hope he’s not making a mess anywhere else. He’s already made us leave marks on the floors, and I promised your dad we’d clean the house.”

I open my bedroom door.

Before the door opens all the way I see his back is to me, and my bra is dangling from his hand as he raises it above his head. What is he doing? Inspecting it!? That’s when I slam the door open the entire way and it makes a big clang noise. He turns around unexpectedly to find Jess and I in the door way.


His face is sort of a mix between the ‘wtf’ face that Jess pulls off so well, and his ‘I’m totally screwed’ face.

I would laugh, but the situation is far from funny. He calms down a little bit and he gives a tiny little grin.

“34B. Not too bad, Evans.”

He’s smiling.
He’s smiling like this is normal and happens everyday.

And thank God it doesn’t. He’s looking me up and down like Sirius did, except he does it differently. He does it the Potter way. Have all the marauders, like, been trained to do this technique with the eyes? “My, my. Seeing you soaked twice in one day is not that bad.”

I blush. I pull my shirt down as far as it can go. “Um, excuse me?” I hate it when he does that. I feel so vulnerable. ARGH.

He puts his hands behind his back, with my bra still in his grips, and walks over to us.

“Don’t flip out,” He says with a smirk. “As you well know, I’m hosting a sleepover at my house also, and we were playing truth or dare…” His eyes wander aimlessly around the room.

“Go on,” Jessica demands.

“Well, I was dared, and you know that I, James Potter, never turn down dares. Sirius dared me to steal something from your intimate apparel.”

Nice choice of words, Genius.

“So, we needed a distraction for me to take it. But, as I can well see, you seem to be a bigger distraction,” He finishes, eyeing me up and down again. I’m still wet and shivering. “James likes.” Must he talk in third person?

I roll my eyes.

“Wait, so you’re telling me that you guys distracted us from our movie with that big noise so we would come out?” Asks Jess.


“And hosed us down so you could wiggle through without being seen?” I ask.


“Just so you could take Lily’s bra?”

“Yep.” He’s looking triumphant.

Why I ought to…

I’m pretty sure I’m seething.

“Get out!”

“Oh, now that’s not a warm welcoming, is it? I was planning to stay and have a little party.”


Jess and I are pushing him out of my house while I try to grab my bra out of his hands.

He’s laughing the entire time.

I open my front door where Peter, Remus, and Sirius had been waiting and they have amused faces on.

I push him out, and Sirius puts on my bra.

Jessica starts cracking up, while I look like I’m about to throw up. “Alright, James, you won the dare. Let’s go back now,” says Remus, laughing. Sirius is running around the lawn like a mad man yelling, “I’M A SEXY BEAST! I’M A SEXY BEAST! I’M A SEXY BEAST! I’M A SEXY BEAST!” over and over. Does this boy ever stop!?

Now, he’s making a run for Potter’s house and the marauders follow. The marauders and Jess have been cracking up the entire time. I laugh too, because, well come on… how could you not?

But then, Potter turns to me, and gives me a smirk that makes me regret not slapping his smirk off his face in the beginning.

He lifts his shirt to reveal his toned stomach.

“You know you want this, Evans!” He says, before I slam the door in his face.

Jessica turns to me. “It’s time.”

“You sure?”

“Are you kidding? We’re soaking wet! It’s time for revenge, Lily.”

Ok, I know I said I would get Potter back for the last time, but I just don’t feel like I can really go through with it. I don’t know if I can do this.

“I don’t know if I have the guts, Jess. I hate to say it, but the marauders can be quite intimidating.”

“NO! No way are you not going through with our plants for tonight!”

“I don’t know, Jess…”

She takes my wet shoulders and shakes them. “LILY! Have you gone mad?! We have one week until school starts. ONE WEEK! Do you know what that means? Marauders here, marauders there, marauders everywhere! Both of us haven’t gotten them back for anything! Well, to James, yes. But the whole clan, no. You and I have GOT to do this!”

“Okay,” I say with confidence. “I can do this.”

“No, we can do this.”


We’re standing outside Potter’s backyard with our gear.

Haha, yea I know! We have gear!

Jess and me got dry and put our pajamas in the drier and we’re now wearing sweats, but our hair is still damp. We cleaned the house so it was spic-n-span before we came out.

I poke my head up to one of the windows. The kitchen. Off too the next window… The Broom Closet.

Broom Closet? Who has a window in a broom closet?!

We keep walking around the house, Jess leading the way, until we see the marauders through the family room window.

“HALT,” She says as I bump into her back.

“Um… Okay, Sergeant Finelly. Thanks for the warning.”

I can’t believe it. I never thought the day that I spied on Potter would come.

She takes out the binoculars.

Yes, sweet child, she is my best friend.

She went so out for this that she even got war paint. And I, well… I painted my toenails while she was getting ready for the leading role in ‘Predator’.

Come on, does it not remind you of Arnold Schwarzenegger?!

“Okay, target in sight.”

“Jess, you are officially freaking me out here. We aren’t snipers, nor are we trying to threaten a country with a nuclear bomb.”

“Ok, fine.” She chucks the binos (that’s what I call them for short) in the bushes. “But I’m keeping the war paint.” I stare at her with a look that says 'alright, fine, you weirdo'. We peek through the window. They’re sitting on the sofa, in their sleeping bags already, hypnotized by the TV. “Ok, they’re totally hooked. Let’s go set up.”

“Okay,” I say as we use a ladder from Potter’s shed and get up on the roof of the two story high house.

No pressure.
Except if you fall you die.


It’s been about 40 minutes since the marauders soaked us and it’s now around 10:30 so the neighborhood is dark and most of the lights in people’s homes are out. I don’t see his parents' cars in the driveway, so I guess the guys are on their own in that house too. It’s so quiet that you can pretty much interpret what’s happening inside the Potter household. The plan is set. All we have to do is start it off. We’re on his porch. I ring the doorbell, and we run behind a bush.

“Wait, Padfoot. Someone’s at the door.” Potter’s footsteps are getting closer and closer to the door. They seemed to already be in the hallway… probably on their way to the kitchen because the next thing I hear is Sirius’s whining. “OOOOH, come on, Prongs! I’m starving! I want tacos!”

“Dude, do I look like I have tacos?”

“But I want tacos!”

“Oh, God. Why tacos?!” I hear Remus say, obviously annoyed. Um, maybe he has some thing against tacos? They start to bicker about the tacos and I’m sure the whole neighborhood can hear. Our block gets real quiet at night, and I can just picture someone waking up because of stupid teenage boys and their opinions about tacos.

We hear Potter take the last step before he opens the door.

The big oak door bursts open and there standing outside is a very tall, very shirtless Potter in pajamas.

Don’t look at me like that.

I am NOT staring…

that much.

Okay, please tell me that did not just happen? What’s with me today!?

It can’t be me thinking this. Maybe it’s the little man inside my head! Or wait… it would have to be a woman though. Well unless the man inside my head is gay… wow. Let me stop myself there. Here I am freezing my arctic buns off for this revenge plan to work, and I’m talking to myself about whether or not the man inside my head is gay, or if it’s even a man in the first place. It’s probably some weird teenage thing.

Damn hormones.

But it doesn’t matter anyway, because I will never fall for him. I won’t give him that satisfaction. He’s cocky, conceited, selfish, and I am not one to judge on a person’s appearance. And to think, we used to be friends before Hogwarts entered the picture.

“Hello? Is anyone there?”

He looks both ways across the porch and says a final time, “Hello?”

“Who is it?”

“I dunno, Remus. There’s no one here.”

“There has to be. At this time of night I don’t think anyone who rings people’s door bells is planning to run away after.”

“Come see for yourself then.”

“But I STILL want tacos!”

“SHUT UP, PADFOOT!” All 3 marauders say in unison.

They all step up on the porch in line next to the other, and look far and wide to see if anyone left. Remus has a white beater on, Peter has a pajama top, so Sirius and Potter both are shirtless.


“Okay, so I guess it was just a prank then,” Remus says.

“Maybe it was the girls,” Peter pipes up.

“Nah, Lily’s too nice. She would probably get back to me, not all of us,” Potter states.


Hee, hee, hee.

For the 15 seconds that they’ve been on the porch, Jess and I got ready. We look at each other. “One,” She raises her wand.

“Two,” I raise my wand.

“Three!” We say together. We pop out of the bush and cast the spell. The marauders looked at us for 3 seconds before realizing that they couldn’t do anything because they didn’t have their wands. The ropes that were once invisible when the boys came out are now visible. Each boy had put a foot in it, not realizing.

The ropes tighten around each marauder’s ankle and pajama bottoms on their left leg, and yank them upward. Jessica and I are gripping our stomachs laughing.

“EVANS! YOU ARE SO GOING TO PAY FOR THIS!” one marauder says. Guess Who.

“Yeah, well there’s nothing you can do now, Potter!” I yell back to him, and resume giggling. They’re all hanging by one foot off Potter’s roof. Upside-down. They’re all yelling at us, telling us to let them go. As if.

Jess and I walk up to the porch. The boys aren’t hung that high, so the tips of their heads come up to our foreheads. Well, Peter being the shortest, makes his head about a foot away from our heads. The house door is still open, so I stand on the WELCOME carpet and say, “Accio Bra!”. My undergarment whizzes around in the house and flies to my hand.

They stretch their arms outwards trying to grab us. But we pull away.

“Let us go! Please!” Says Peter.


“This is pretty illegal, even for us,” Remus says.

“You don’t know what’s coming for you, Evans. You might have won this time,” Potter says to me, “But we WILL get revenge.” He has an amused face, but still has that marauder spirit shining through. All the yelling they did made the whole neighborhood wake up. All the lights are getting turned on and people are coming out of their houses.

“Oh, we’ll be ready for it, no doubt. But I hope that you learned your lesson, Potter,” Jessica says.

“And what’s that?”

I go up to him and squeeze his cheeks like a baby and say, “Girls don’t play nice.”

Everyone is waking up and about 6 neighbors are heading this way to see what 's making all this racket.

“Jess, time to go!”

We dash to my house. The entire time we were laughing all the way to my house the neighbors were yelling things.

“What’s with the damn racket?! I haven’t gotten an ounce of sleep yet!”

“Oi! It’s that Potter boy!”

“Oh, my! He’s dangling from the roof! Poor thing!”

“And so are his little companions!”

I lead Jess through my back yard route and open my back door so as not to be seen by the neighbors. We run to my room and I put my bra back in its place. We change in our new pajamas swiftly and get to bed as fast as we can just as my dad drives up the driveway.

And that is how it’s done.

I will now be putting pictures of the characters and what they look like at the end of each chapter until i am satisfied lol. so my first pik is what remus looks like:

-This actor was in the movie The Covenant

I think I didn't write this chapter very well and it sort of sucks.. lol. But please – change my mind. =] Think of this as a HAPPY THANKSGIVING present! The review box is calling your name! PS- I LOVE YOU!

… did that persuade you?