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If I Should Die . . . by CelticKisses

Format: Short story
Chapters: 4
Word Count: 7,217

Rating: Mature
Warnings: Mild Language, Strong Violence, Scenes of a Sexual Nature

Genres: Horror/Dark, Romance, Angst
Characters: Harry, Ron, Hermione, Dumbledore, Lucius, Draco

First Published: 06/25/2005
Last Chapter: 07/05/2005
Last Updated: 02/12/2006


Author's note: This is one of my oldest pieces - written in 2005. I have decided not to remove it as I go through and delete and edit my story collection. We all need a little reminder of where we come from. ^_^

Chapter 4: The Show Must Go On

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be love loved in return."


Another hero
Another mindless crime
Behind the curtain
in the pantomime

On and on
Does anybody know
What we are living for?

"No!" Her voice called out into the thick night. She ran through the trees, darting left and right. Limbs scratched her face and snagged at her robe. She hurtled through the blackness, jumping over lumps, trying to not imagine the damage done to the remains she was running past. Praying she wouldn't see their faces and recognize them, and yet at the same time, straining to discern their faces. Praying he wasn't lying there.

Whatever happens
We leave it all to chance
Another heartache
Another failed romance

"Harry!" She called into the blinding rain. She didn't know why, but she knew that he must be here somewhere.Three days after The Order's proposition she had been welcomed into the deatheater's ranks. Her arm now permanently bore the mark, and she was ashamed of it. Even though she had done it for the greater good.

She hadn't been able to see Harry and Ron while she was undercover. She had been aching for Harry's arms to be around her for three days of pure hell. Yet, she was oddly proud of her accomplishments. Draco had welcomed her with open arms, as Dumbledore had predicted, but it had not been easy. She had had to do things that brought a horrible taste to her mouth just when she thought about them.

Shame flowed through her, but it tingled with pride, and now fear as she searched the cold forest for any sign that he was still alive.

On and on
Does anybody know
What we are living for?

"Harrrrry!" She called out with all the energy she could muster.

The show must go on

"I am here." A cold voice came from behind her. She turned quickly and met a gaze that chilled her blood.

"Harry?" She said as she went to him, wanting to fold into his embrace.

Outside, the dawn is breaking
On the stage
That holds our final destiny

"Get away from me!" He said as he backed away from her touch.

She looked at him with hurt dripping form every pore in her body.

The show must go on

"Don't touch me." He hissed at her. She felt her heart breaking inside her chest. "You went from me to him!" He accused wildly.

It had only been three days, had he forgotten already?

"Harry . . . the Order asked me . . . I didn't-"

"Don't come near me." He said as he pulled away from her advancement again. "Don't ever touch me again." And he turned his back on her and walked away.

Inside, my heart is breaking
My makeup may be flaking
But my smile
still stays on

Two arms came around her from behind and she was turned into the body of a cold blonde. "What's his problem?" He asked nonchalantly.

"Oh." Hermione said with a fake smile plastered all over her face. "Who knows. Stupid git, thinks he's important or something . . ." Every word tore at her already wounded heart and the syllables made her tongue bleed.

Draco smirked at her and then gestured deeper into the forest. "Shall we my dear?"

The Show Must Go On

"Yes. Let's." She said, feigning excitement and trying not to look back.

I'll top the bill
I'll earn the kill
I have to find the will to carry
On with the
On with the
On with the show

She put her arm in his and followed him deep into the trees.

They emerged in a clearing where there was a mass of dark cloaked figures in a circle. Draco smiled at her and nodded towards the horde. She tentatively let go of his arm and made her way to the front of the group. What she saw, made her heart stop and bile rise in her throat.

If I should die this very moment. . .

There were bodies, strewn in grotesque positions in the center of the circle.

I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here

In the center of this pile, was a black haired boy. His glasses were askew and his hair flopped down over his eyes. His cheeks looked as if they were tear-stained, while there was blood stains all over his previously emerald cloak.

Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you

Tears pricked at her eyes. Why? Why? She collapsed on her knees. The ground was muddy and wet but she didn't care. Draco looked at her curiously. Then she spun around and roared.

"What did you do to him!?"

Why live life from dream to dream
And dread the day...

The eyes of the deatheaters shifted and locked onto her. They now knew she was not truly one of them. She had betrayed herself.

Harry's head lifted feebly from the ground and he gazed at her in shock.

. . .when dreaming . . ends.

"So you've shown your true colors now Hermione." Malfoy said as he pulled out his wand. "There's no turning back."

"Avade Ke-"

"No!" The speaker was cut off mid-spell as Harry hurtled between them. "It's me you want Malfoy! Leave her out of this."

"Gladly." Malfoy smirked as he removed his cloak and threw it to the ground.

Never knew I could feel like this
It's like I've never seen the sky before

Hermione caught Harry's arm as he turned to walk away. "Harry?" She asked, only moments ago he had looked on the verge of death.

Without explanation he pulled her to him and she welcomed his arms wrapped tightly around her. "I couldn't do it." He whispered in her ear. "I couldn't find the energy to fight back, knowing I didn't have you fighting with me."

"You've always had me Harry." She whispered back.

Want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day I'm loving you more and more

Harry looked at her momentarily and then swept her lips against his.

Listen to my heart can you hear it sing?
Come back to me and forgive everything!

"Move away from her Potter. Or I'll kill her too." A cruel voice interrupted.

Hermione felt Harry's lips go cold. He turned around and forced Hermione behind him and raised his wand.

"So we meet again." The voice taunted. They looked around furiously, but they saw no one. Draco was leaning against a tree with a smirk plastered across his handsome face.

"Show yourself you coward." Harry taunted back. "Come out and play, Tom."

The voice laughed and filled the air all around them. Then two red eyes materialized in front of them, followed by a cloaked body.

I was a fool to believe . .

"Run Hermione!" She thought she heard Harry call to her.

It all ends today. . .

Everything was happening so fast that she wasn't sure.

Yes, it all ends today

Then she saw Harry dueling with a wizard who's very essence betrayed him. Voldemort.

Today's the day when dreaming ends

"Harry!" She called to him as she ran. She was stopped by Draco. She collided into him and he smirked down at her.

"Where you going Granger?" He asked tauntingly.

"To save my boyfriend." She answered defiantly with her chin in the air.

Malfoy looked at her with an eyebrow raised, bordering on shock. Had she seen. . .no . . . it couldn't have been . .. Jealousy? Sadness?

All these thoughts vanished when he muttered something vile in which she thought she heard the words 'mudblood' and 'git'.

I follow the night
Can't stand the light
When will I begin
To live again?

Her first reaction was to hit him. And she did. Hard. He bent over double on the ground at her feet cursing her with tears of pain in his eyes. She spat on him.

"Don't call me mudblood, you pureblood trash."

One day I'll fly away
Leave all this to yesterday
What more could your Love do for me?
When will Love be through with me?

Then she turned her eyes towards Harry. The battle was thick. They threw spell after spell at each other but neither would relent.

Why live life from dream to dream?
And dread the day when dreaming ends

Her eye was caught by a dark figure creeping up on the two. "Harry!!" She called out in warning as she ran to him. Her mind reeled, he'd never hear her in time!

“Avada Kedavra!”

A searing pain pierced her side as she heard the spell echoed by Harry’s voice.

“Avada Kedavra!!”

Then two very familiar arms were around her. She felt the energy sapping from her. She looked weakly up at him as he dragged her body onto his lap.

“Harry....Voldemort...” She whispered.

“He’s dead love.... he’s dead..” He whispered back.

" I couldn't, I saw you there and I couldn't and Draco he's so... , I'm tired I don't want lie , and he knows! I don't want to pretend anymore, I don't want to lie." Her eyes were already closing on her. Her head was too heavy to hold up.

“Please don’t Hermione.” He begged her with tears in his eyes.

One day I'll fly away
Leave all this to yesterday
Why live life from dream to dream?
And dread the day when dreaming ends

“I love you Harry.” She whispered as the darkness claimed her mind. She couldn’t fight it any longer. Her body sagged against him as her eyes fell shut, never to open again.

One day I'll fly away
Fly, fly away

“No!” He cried long after she was beyond any help. The battle had ended after Harry had uttered those horrid words. The two words that had destroyed the dark lord and in turn the dark lord had destroyed the beautiful girl in his arms.

He had felt betrayed, he couldn’t endure the thought of her lying in the arms of another. Especially Draco Malfoy. And the guilt that he had wasted their last three days together in a fit of prideful anger, tore his heart.

“Why did you do it Hermione?” He asked as he rocked back and forth hugging her body to him. “Why did you jump in front of me?” He whispered in her ear. Then he turned his face towards the sky and let his anger and pain unleash.

Come what may
Yes, I will Love You
Come what may
I will Love You
Until my dying day

Fate was cruel, the wizarding world had it’s peace. But at what cost?

How much was too much to pay . . . for people you don’t even know?

How much would you have sacrificed . . if you had known what you would have to loose. . .


The Historical Archives of The Ministry of Magic:
ATTN: To Whom it may concern,

I feel that these events need to be documented in some fashion, and I hope I will do them justice. Attached is the account of a fated love, the story of the boy-who-lived and the lioness of Gryffindor. I feel that her death is partially my fault, because the mission was a fake. Draco Malfoy had approached me a week or so before and revealed his intentions to join The Order. Miss Hermione Granger was sent in as a decoy to keep the DeathEaters' suspicion away from Draco Malfoy. The loss of such a witch is mourned throughout the school and community, and the hole she has left can never be repaired. I wish you to keep this manuscript in the archives so that future generations can learn from past mistakes. Her sense of duty betrayed her. Her loyalty set her down a course that could never be backtracked. She was a witch beyond reproach, and I feel I have failed them. She and Harry. No one involved will ever be the same.

I sat down, and I wrote their story. A story about a time, a story about a place, a story about the people. But above all things, a story about love. A love that will live forever.

I leave this as my last testament. The dying wish of an old, old man. Keep this tale safe, and when the time is right, tell the world.

Albus Dumbledore
Headmaster of Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardy,
Order of Merlin First Class