You are viewing a story from

If I Should Die . . . by CelticKisses

Format: Short story
Chapters: 4
Word Count: 7,217

Rating: Mature
Warnings: Mild Language, Strong Violence, Scenes of a Sexual Nature

Genres: Horror/Dark, Romance, Angst
Characters: Harry, Ron, Hermione, Dumbledore, Lucius, Draco

First Published: 06/25/2005
Last Chapter: 07/05/2005
Last Updated: 02/12/2006


Author's note: This is one of my oldest pieces - written in 2005. I have decided not to remove it as I go through and delete and edit my story collection. We all need a little reminder of where we come from. ^_^

Chapter 1: Come What May

All songs used are © Moulin Rouge....

I appreciate feedback greatly! Kudos to Chloe for gently pointing out all my mistakes ;)

Never knew I could feel like this,
Like I've never seen the sky before,
I want to vanish inside your kiss,
Seasons may change, winter to spring,
But I Love You, until the end of time.

"Look!" Hermione said as she pointed to the sky. "Make a wish!" He laughed at her as she scrunched her eyes up. They were sitting together in the Astronomy Tower. She was leaning on his stomach, between his legs. He had his arms wrapped around her, hugging her tightly to him.

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place.
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace.
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste.
It all revolves around you.

"You really are a dork. You know that Hermione?" Harry said chuckling at her antics.

"Yeah." She admitted while turning in his arms. "But you love me anyway." She said with a smile.

"That I do." He said, returning the smile.

Come what may
Come what may
I will Love You
Until my dying day

The moment was broken apart by thundering feet on the stairs. A red head burst through the doors, panting heavily. "Harry!" Ron called.

Harry helped Hermione to her feet as he stood and confronted his best friend. "What's wrong Ron?"

"It's Dumbledore! He says he needs to see Hermione immediately! And alone! It doesn't sound good Harry."

"Hey!" Hermione said indignantly. "I am right here you know!" She said mock pouting and placing her fists on her hips.

Harry gave her an admonishing glance. He wasn't amused at the moment. A few weeks ago they had been secretly inducted into the Order and had been attending meetings. There had been whisperings of something big going to happen soon. A dangerous mission, but no one would clarify. The fact that Dumbledore wished to see Hermione alone, didn't quell the adrenaline that had been pumping through him for the past few weeks.

"Tell the headmaster we are on our way." Hermione said to Ron. When Ron turned and made his exit, she turned to Harry and put her hands delicately on his chest. "Don't brood Harry. It's probably nothing."

Harry wasn't comforted.


When Hermione entered Dumbledore's office, after commanding Harry to wait outside, she was affronted by all the Order members.

She nodded politely to them and then took a seat gracefully in the center of the room that she had assumed was set for her.

Dumbledore cleared his throat and walked to the front of his desk. "Miss Granger, the Order would like to offer you a dangerous task. You may refuse, but if you accept, there is no going back." He said warningly.

Hermione didn't even ponder her answer. She was ready and willing to do anything for the Order. Anything against Voldemort. She could sense the unease in the room. She could feel the tenseness.

"Of course. I will do anything the Order asks."

"Your mission is simple." Professor McGonagall said from her chair where she sat primly with her hands clasped before her. "We have reason to believe that their is a penetration in the school. We would like you to . . . make contact. . . and . . . "

"We want you to become close to Draco Malfoy. Receive the death mark, and penetrate His inner circle at Malfoy's side." Snape finished much less eloquently.

Hermione's heart stopped. Malfoy? Penetrate His inner circle.... "At Malfoy's side?!" She burst out loud.

Dumbledore sighed. "You do not need to accept Hermione. But, we have information that Malfoy would welcome you into his company, and you would be easily ushered into Voldemort's circle, with Mister Malfoy's vouch for you."

Roxanne...You don't have to put on that red light

Hermione was rather confused, but she didn't have time to think about it because her disgruntled boyfriend had just appeared in the center of the room.

Walk the streets for money
You don't care if it's wrong or if it is right

"Ah. Mister Potter." Dumbledore said, unperturbed that he had just appeared into the center of a secret meeting.

Roxanne...You don't have to wear that dress tonight

"Come on Hermione." He said while taking her arm.

Roxanne...You don't have to sell your body to the night

"Harry? What are you doing?" She hissed at him as he tried to get her to leave the room.

His eyes upon your face

"You're not doing it." He said in a stern voice.

His hand upon your hand

"Mister Potter." Dumbledore interrupted. "If you would so kindly take a seat." He said as he gestured to a chair that had just appeared next to Hermione's. Hermione looked at him as he threw what she now saw to be his father's invisibility cloak on the ground and sat in the chair with a huff. She, on the other hand, sat back down much more gracefully.

His lips caress your skin

"I don't want her to do it Headmaster." Harry said in an obviously teetering tone. He was trying to bite his tongue and swallow his anger. Hermione wondered how much he had heard.

It's more than I can stand . . .

"How could you ask her to do this!?" He said as his emotions poured over and he burst. He stood up and the adults in the room looked away from him. His distress was well founded. They were asking her to place herself in the arms of her enemy. The enemy who had taunted Harry and she for seven years.

What bothered Harry most, was how willing and ready she was to accept this 'mission'.

Yo que te quiero tanto, que voy a hacer? ( And I who love you so much; what am I going to do?)

"It's not your decision Harry." Hermione said firmly as she gazed up at her boyfriend.

Harry's eyes betrayed the hurt he felt. How could she do this? Didn't she understand what she would have to do?

Me dejaste como una paloma ( You left left me like a dove )

She stood and took his hand in hers and placed the other one lovingly on his cheek. "Wouldn't you do the same thing . . . if you knew it would save me?" She asked him quietly.

El alma se me fue; se me fue el corazon ( My soul has left me; my heart has left me )

Hermione could see the pain written across his face, she could almost taste the metallic tears he was holding back. He knew she was right.

Ya no tengo ganas de vivir porque no te puedo convencer ( I no longer wish to live because I cannot convince you )

Harry turned his back from her gaze and his face away from her touch. She put a hand on his shoulder, as if to bring him back and he shrugged away.

Why does my heart cry?

"Harry. . ." Dumbledore said gently. Harry shook his head and slammed the door behind him.

Feelings I can't fight . . .

Hermione took a moment to breath deeply and then turned back to the members of the Order.

"What must I do?" She asked quietly.


After the meeting Hermione walked down the hall with her head hung. She was nervous. Extremely.

Professor Snape had given her the Slytherin room password, and a new robe that had the green and silver emblem blazed across it. It was surreal. She was switching houses.

Dumbledore said he would announce it in the morning. He had said it as if he could just explain away the questions. How did the Gryffindor Lioness, get switched into that house? Why was Draco Malfoy's arm wrapped around her? What about Harry Potter?

They'd probably think she was disgusting, that she had sunk to a level even lower than the common Slytherin. For sure, she'd loose her friends. She'd loose the respect of all the students in the school. Except the Slytherins, but they didn't truly count did they? Their sense of honor was distorted.

Whoever heard of a mudblood in Slytherin?

She followed the mental directions she had been given to reach the Slytherin Common Room. Unsurprised she stopped before a statue of a large green snake with emeralds encrusted into the head to pose as eyes.

Should she feel so guilty? This was for a just cause. Yet she couldn't help but feel like the virgin maiden being sacrificed into the roaring pit of the volcano.

And when the statue swung open before she could say the password, to reveal a very handsome blonde leaning against the wall as if he knew the feelings he commanded in people, she couldn't help but feel slightly apprehensive.

"Hello Granger." He smirked at her, his hair falling across his eyes.

IT was then that she realized, she was in way over her head.


"The girl's dorm is that way." He said pointing towards a long hallway to the right. "Just follow it till you get to the last door. There are two other girls in there." She then felt his arm go around her waist. "I then expect you back here." He said.

She timidly removed his hands, trying to not cringe at his touch. Why was he so trusting?

The hallway to the dorms was extremely long and slightly depressing. The lighting wasn't nearly as bright and cheery as the Gryffindor dorms, and their seemed to be decorative snakes everywhere.

To her absolute chagrin, as soon as she opened the heavy wood door to her new dorm room, she was greeted by her two new roommates, Pansy Parkinson and Rosalyn Rochester .

"Argh, Rosie . . . this shirt is just... argh.. Can I borrow your green one? I want to look perfect for Dra- What are you doing here!?" Pansy asked in disgust as she noticed that Hermione had entered the room.

Hermione stopped short. Whatam I doing here? She hadn't prepared an answer to such a question yet. Fortunately, Draco came to her rescue.

"Play nice girls." He said from the doorway. Pansy practically flew to his side and made a disgustingly degrading display of affection towards him. He, in turn, ignored her. "I just wanted to make sure you found the room alright." He said as he walked towards Hermione. He at least attempted to walk towards Hermione, but he was slightly hindered by the human leech. "Get off me Parkinson!" he said in frustration.

"Oh! But Drakie!" She protested in an annoyingly high and childish voice.

Hermione rolled her eyes at the girl. Draco, in an uncharacteristic show of gentleman-ness took Hermione's bag, placed it on the only empty bed and then took Hermione by the wrist and tugged her from the room.

As he pulled her down the hallway she looked down at her wrist in surprise and repulsion. He's touching me . . . he's touching a mudblood . . .

She only had to wonder how Dumbledore convinced Draco for a short while because as soon as they reached the common room, he deposited her on the couch.

He stood across from her, assessing her with cold eyes.
She was completely uncomfortable and the amusing thought of Harry beating Malfoy to a pulp entered her head.

"Snape told me." He said abruptly, ruining her pulp-fantasy.

She looked at him, confused.

"Six years . . and you never said anything?"

She now really wished Dumbledore had clued her in. Draco moved to the stiff back armchair across from her.

As he sat she couldn't help but think, too close... too close!

"It's really a shame you wasted so many years . . . especially in that house . . ."

Going out on a limb she said, " How much did Professor Snape tell you?"

"All of it, I assume." He said with a shrug. "He told me you're a pureblood-"

A Pureblood!?

"-and how you're joining us." He then rolled up his sleeve and she forced herself to not turn away when his sleeve went past the mark branded on his arm. "For some reason," he said without taking his eyes off the mark, "the dark lord wishes to inaugurate you tonight. He's wasting no time. . . but I wonder . . " he said now turning his eyes back to her. "Although you are no doubt an asset . . why trust you so quickly?"

She could tell this question was aimed at her. "Because I've always loved the dark arts." She prayed she could pull this off. "They intrigue me."

"But do you believe in our cause?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

Do you believe in your cause?? "Yes." She replied.

Draco seemed to think for a moment before he came and sat next to her on the couch.

Way too close! Don't cringe . . just ... stay.. calm....

"So not only is there a bad girl under that school girl façade, a rather hot school girl façade mind you . . but you're a pure blood too . . ." Draco said in a this-is-too-good-to-be-true voice. "What about Potter?" he asked darkly.

Why'd he have to ask that? "We're through . . it's not like I actually loved him. It was an effective way of keeping up my pretense." I'm so sorry Harry

Draco smiled approvingly, then frowned suddenly. "All those years I though you were a mudblood . . all those things I said and did..."

Is he apologizing? . . .Does a Malfoy know what an apology is . . .? This is not the Draco I expected . .

"Hermione?" He said in a earth-to-you tone.

Hermione? I thought I was Granger... "Draco?" She answered in a what-do-you-want voice.

He looked at her, his hair falling across his eyes, and smiled.

Oh Merlin. What am I doing?