Some help with Spanish, please?

RDeHwyl

Member
So I'm writing a conversation between Harry, Ginny, Dumbledore, and Salvador Dali -- Dali speaks in broken English but also uses lots of words in Spanish. Babelfish has helped me find words, but I'm unsure if some of the phrases are nuanced correctly. I could REALLY use some help in making certain the conversation has the correct tenses, usage, etc...

Here's what I have -- please point out any mistakes or offer corrections, Thanks!


“As do I, young señorita.” The voice came from out of the shadows. A short, dapper gentleman with an exaggeratedly long and pointed moustache stepped into view. “I am—how do you English say? Famous? No, no, no—famished from my long trip. However, I am famous too.”



“Who are you?” asked Harry, wand in hand, unsure if the stranger presented any threat.



“Who am I? I am the greatest surrealist pintor of modern times, the author of books, the scripter of plays, the producer of ballets and carrete, the uno and único Salvadore Dali! I have ir to reclamar mi reloj!”



***


Professor Dumbledore, Professor McGonagall, Madam Pomfrey and Señor Dali waited patiently, sharing tea and biscuits while Ginny finished eating the rest of what her brother had brought. Ron and Harry nervously looked on as the four adults conversed, uncertain of how much Ginny would reveal of her knowledge of the watch, its properties and its destruction. The sudden appearance of the flamboyant Señor Dali came as something of a surprise to Harry. The ninety-something-year-old wizard looked to be no more than fifty, his hair and moustache still dark and his features unlined. Now, having finished his tea, Señor Dali was sketching on a sheet of parchment as he regaled the others with tales of his life in Spain and the States as a Muggle.



Señor Potter, the timepiece that was given you looked like this, si?” he queried, displaying the sketch he had been working on. There, sketched with the skill and precision of a draughtsman, was a drawing that matched Harry’s memory of the watch to an almost frightening degree.



“Yes, Señor Dali; exactly like it.”



Gracias, Señor Potter. It is then my watch that you received.”



“We determined that some time ago, when Ginny found the scroll inside it.”



Sustantivó? Then the señorita opened the watch? Magnifico! Brilliant! She then knows how the watch operates. Tell me, has the señorita used the watch?



“Has she used the watch?” interrupted Madam Pomfrey. “Why do you think she’s here in the hospital wing?”



¿Qué? Did she not follow the instructions?”



“Miss Weasley used the time spell to reverse time accidentally, then to stop it before she opened the watch, Señor Dali,” explained Dumbledore. “She found your instructions to be rather cryptic.”



Imposible! I wrote them quite plainly in both Español and English.”



“There was only English, sir,” said Ginny from the bed. She had devoured most of what Ron had provided and was now joining the discussion.



“I have it right here.” Dumbledore held out the tiny scrap of parchment.



Taking the proffered slip, the famed artist examined it closely. “Pah! This is not what I placed in the watch! This-this is absurdo! Nonsense!”



“I suspected as much, Señor Dali,” said Professor Dumbledore. “That is why I contacted you. It seems someone has been tampering with your property.”



¿Qué? Who would do such a thing? To tamper with time is muy maleducado!”



“We suspect this to be the work of Voldemort,” replied Dumbledore.



“Then Voldemort is muy maleducado!” Señor Dali thundered. “To make changes to the past? Does he not know that such tampering could destroy all?”



“We believe he knows exactly that—We suspect that may be the reason Harry was given the watch; to destroy him.”



El Diablo! Escandaloso!” Señor Dali jumped up from his chair and began to pace, gesticulating wildly as he spoke. “El oscurodad Señor Voldemort yo mucho loco! The fool is a lunatic! He is worse than Grindlewald! To even contemplate such foolishness is to invite disaster!”



“A madman indeed,” agreed Dumbledore. “However, such a madman is still quite dangerous. Should he succeed in his endeavours to rule, all of wizardom would be subject to his whims.”



“Ah! This is why you have asked me to come? To aid in defeating this engañar?”



“Not directly, Señor Dali—we only wish you to help in deactivating the power source of the watch to render it harmless.”



“You have removed the cristal?”



“Yes, sir. I have also destroyed the watch,” Ginny piped up.



Destruir? The case is gone? How then did you manage to move in time? How did you set a destino?”



“I didn’t, Señor Dali. I accidentally made time move in reverse after Harry used the reducto spell.”



Dali paled and a look of profound astonishment was upon his features. “That was muy peligroso, Señorita Weasley. Mucho caos could have been the result—el tiempo tormenta —a time storm at the very least, the complete and utter destrucción of several square kilómetro at the worst.”



“There were two time storms, Señor Dali—one here in the hospital wing and one in the library. They are the reason I chanced using the time reversing spell from the brass tag,” explained Ginny.



“Ah! Then I am ill-informed. I assumed the reloj was still whole, but I see that much is yet to be explained.”



“Mr Potter, would you give Señor Dali the crystal, please? Miss Weasley, if you are recovered from the effects of your adventure in time, perhaps it would be best if you were to dress and meet us in my office. I believe you may have to explain all that happened once more.” Professor Dumbledore rose to his feet, indicating that the others should do the same.



As Harry handed over the gem to Señor Dali, Professor McGonagall said, “Mr Potter, Mr Weasley—I suggest that the two of you return to your dormitory at this time. I am certain that either Madam Pomfrey or myself can take care of any emergencies that might arise.”



“Ginny?” Harry paused.



“Go ahead Harry, I’ll be fine.”



As the two Gryffindor boys exited the doorway, Señor Dali smiled and said to Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall, “Parece que las y señorita Weasley y señor Potter mucho amor, are they not?”



“Very much so, Señor Dali—very much so,” smiled Hogwarts’s Headmaster.
 

toxichocolate

New member
You wouldn't say "young senorita", just senorita. Spanish words that end in -ita or -ito (for males), implies little/young already.

For the following phrase: the uno and único I would change to "el único e incomparable", the words you have in Spanish don't really translate because it's an English expression so I would use the phrase I suggested instead.

I have ir to reclamar mi reloj!- I'm assuming he's trying to say he came to get his watch? Most people who mix dialects (at least in my experience) will start with subject and verb in the first languge and code switch to the other language for the object. So here I would say "I have come to get/reclaim mi reloj". That's how I would expect to hear it.

Sustantivo means noun. Were you going for something more like "Seriously?" I would use En Serio?

muy maleducado is saying that something is very rude. Maybe you mean dangerous? That would be peligroso
 
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