Penname: Professor Cassandra
Member Since: 2008.03.04

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Stories Posted: 6
Reviews Posted: 4
Favorite Author of: 17

My specialty is humor fics about Voldemort and the Death Eaters. Link removed by staff

Author's Favorite Stories | Author's Stories | Author's Favorite Authors (6 found— page 1 of 1)

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1 : Lord Voldemort and the Purple Roadmonkeys by Professor Cassandra     Novella
Rating: 15+   Chapters: 7   Reviews: 10


Maintaining a dark and evil reputation is undoubtedly stressful, so once per year the Dark Lord and his followers take a much needed holiday. This year he has decided to form a biker gang most deadly, and only one name will suffice: The Purple Roadmonkeys. Contains OOC behavior, action, adventure, murder, romance...and what the heck, I'll throw some humor in there as well. This is a sequel to The Annual Death Eater Beach Trip, but can be read independently.

Genres: General, Humor, Action/Adventure   Era: Hogwarts   Characters: Bellatrix, Draco, Lucius, Narcissa, OC, OtherCanon , Pettigrew, R. Lestrange, Snape, Voldemort
Advisory: Mild Language, Mild Violence, Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature, Substance Use or Abuse
Published: 2009.01.05   Latest Chapter: 2009.03.04 Updated: 2009.03.04 Status: WIP (12489 words)

2 : The Annual Death Eater Beach Trip by Professor Cassandra     Novella
Rating: 15+   Chapters: 18   Reviews: 78


You probably think of Voldemort and his Death Eaters as terrible, heartless people, and you are normally correct. But for one week every year, they are able to escape the stress of the wizarding world by going on vacation…the muggle way! Join everyone’s favorite antagonists on their annual road trip to the beach, because something tells me this year may be the most exciting yet!
Expect OOC behavior and plenty of laughs (at least I hope so)! And just let me warn you beforehand- this is my longest, wackiest and most random fic yet. So let the wackiness begin! Muahahahaha.....

Genres: Humor   Era: Other   Characters: Bellatrix, Draco, Lucius, Narcissa, OC , Pettigrew, R. Lestrange, Voldemort  Pairings: Lucius/Narcissa, Other Pairing
Advisory: Mild Language, Mild Violence, Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature, Substance Use or Abuse
Published: 2008.09.04   Latest Chapter: 2008.12.09 Updated: 2008.12.09 Status: COMPLETED (22884 words)

3 : A Day In the Life of Lord Voldemort by Professor Cassandra     One-shot
Rating: 15+   Chapters: 1   Reviews: 8


We've seen the Dark Lord at his worst. We have witnessed his most terrifying fury, and the unspeakable horrors that he is capable of. But do we really know all of his true characteristics? Read on as I chronicle a day in the life of Lord Voldemort, and you will learn many interesting facts about him that are not found in the books. But be warned- what you find may shock you.

Genres: Humor   Era: Hogwarts   Characters: Bellatrix, Pettigrew, Voldemort
Advisory: Mild Language, Mild Violence, Scenes of a Mild Sexual Nature, Contains Spoilers
Published: 2008.10.06   Latest Chapter: 2008.10.07 Updated: 2008.10.07 Status: COMPLETED (1869 words)

4 : Till Avada Kedavra Do Us Part by Professor Cassandra     One-shot
Rating: 12+   Chapters: 1   Reviews: 12


All was quiet in the waiting room of the esteemed marriage counselor, Dr. I. D. Vorce, save for the ticking clock on the wall and the numerous couples screaming their lungs out at each other.

In this story, said marriage counselor will receive a visit from the unhappiest couple in the wizarding world: the Lestranges.

Much like my other stories, this is extremely OOC for the sake of comedy. I hope you enjoy it!

Genres: Humor  Era: Other   Characters: Bellatrix, OC, R. Lestrange  Pairings: Other Pairing
Advisory: Mild Language, Mild Violence
Published: 2008.05.29   Latest Chapter: 2008.05.31 Updated: 2008.05.31 Status: COMPLETED (1332 words)

5 : Tresses of Terror by Professor Cassandra     One-shot
Rating: 12+   Chapters: 1   Reviews: 6


When the Dark Lord comes to the startling revelation that he is bald, he ventures out on an epic quest to locate the perfect hairpiece to accentuate his malevolence.

Genres: Humor  Era: Other   Characters: Voldemort
Advisory: Mild Language, Mild Violence
Published: 2008.04.21   Latest Chapter: 2008.04.26 Updated: 2008.04.26 Status: COMPLETED (831 words)

6 : The Dark Mart by Professor Cassandra     Short story
Rating: 15+   Chapters: 3   Reviews: 56


Even Death Eaters need to stock up on the necessities sometimes, and Lord Voldemort must provide. So how does the malevolent Dark Lord handle this daunting task? Why, he goes shopping, of course!

Genres: Humor  Era: Other   Characters: Bellatrix, Pettigrew, Voldemort
Advisory: Mild Language, Mild Violence, Substance Use or Abuse
Published: 2008.03.04   Latest Chapter: 2008.04.10 Updated: 2008.04.10 Status: COMPLETED (3638 words)
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