Chapter 12 : Confession 10 - Of Meetings, Arguments And Telling The Head
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I haven't Spoken to Jake since we've been back at all, not even one word. Yet we're in the same house, same classes and supposed to be boyfriend and girlfriend. Before Half term Jamie told Izzy and Lola that Jake had gone away for a bit and not too say any thing to any one. So naturally with me moping around the school without Jake caused a few rumours and now we're back and Me and Jake are no where near each other and not talking there are even more rumours.
You can tell that people are whispering behind my back. It's all I hear and they're not even discreet about it. Some of the rumours going around are 'Lily and Jake split up' and 'Jake Smith did it with another girl because Potter wouldn't put out'. I Hate it and I honestly feel like yelling at them because they know nothing. They don't know that we did it and that I am now pregnant, they don't know he left me and our baby which is the reason we are not talking. They don't know fuck all.
I mean come on you would think people have better things to gossip about these days. Well they do actually and it's about Kayl and Al, They have now gone official around Hogwarts. We met up with Al, Jamie and Scorp this morning and together we walked down to breakfast. Rose and Scorp were lovey dovey as usual and walking way ahead, Myself, Livi and Jamie were walking behind like loners and In front of us was Al and Kayl. They were holding hands and when they entered the hall, all eyes turned on us. The whispers started near the door and soon they were all through the hall.
I guess when you're a Potter and a child of the one who defeated Voldemort then things cannot be kept quiet. But yeah anyway everyone was staring at us and I felt the need to pull my robes closer around me, since I felt like they were looking at me as well. Which made Jake stare at my face then my stomach. After that I quickly made my way to the Gryffindor table and sat down as far away from him as possible.
Through out the day I have heard countless rumours about both myself and Jake and Al and Kayl. 'She's only with him because he's famous as is his sister' This one made me laugh because I've know Kayl for years, I knew her before we started Hogwarts since her mum used to work with dad. People keep asking me about Jake as well, what's going on between us since we're normally together and then people like Becca (Hate her) ask is it because he disappeared before Half term, I just ignore them the best I can.
Right now I'm sat in Transfiguration with Kayl, Livi and Roxy, but because we were a few minutes late we missed our normal seats at the back of the classroom. So Becca, Laura, Sammy (A shy red headed Slytherin who sits with Becca in lessons but not by choice, I can tell.) and Penelope (Loud, obnoxious, trouble maker and also Slytherin.) were sat behind us. Penelope and Sammy are not really Becca's mates but they get good grades which means Becca copies off them since she is as dull as a bowtruckle and hangs with them as she hasn't got any friends apart from Laura. Then again they're related so I don't think she really counts.
Jake, Hugo, Matt and Leo are sat in front of us and I can see them passing notes to each other. Huh I only thought it was girls who did that. Anyway I can hardly concentrate because all I can hear is bloody Becca and guess who she is talking about... yep you guessed it, me. She keeps saying snide comments like ' he never loved her' and 'I bet he was using her to become famous' and 'I reckon he's got it on with another girl' except she's not exactly whispering and I think pretty much the whole class can hear her. I could see Jake tensing in his seat, I bet he's dying to turn round and slap her or is that just my own thoughts.
I was glad to hear the bell ring, for dinner. I went down to the great hall with Kayl and Livi but decide I couldn't sit in there. Not with all the whispering, I just can't handle it anymore. I didn't even bother getting any food, since I'll stop by the kitchens. Saying I was going to the library, I left them both at the door and then made my way to the kitchens, tickling the pear I walked inside. The kitchens are a huge hall much like the great hall except obviously there are cookers and stuff.
I was greeted by a little house elf wearing a blue skirt and a white shirt, who goes by the name of Batty. "Hello Miss Potter, How may Batty be of service to you?"
"Hi Batty, Can I have a plate of cheese cut into chunks please." I asked.
She nodded "Of course Miss Potter, batty will be right back."
Before I could reply she had gone and was back within seconds, a plate of cheese chunks in her hands.
"Thank you Batty, that will be all."
She bowed and then I left. Walking through the castle is strange especially when every one is at lunch, it's so quiet and there is no movement at all. As I was walking past a tapestry on the sixth floor I could hear people talking. I walked past quietly so I would not disturb then, when I recognised one of the voices, it belonged to my cousin Molly.
"Listen Mark, I just don't think this is working. I mean you seem to care about quidditch more than me which is why I'm breaking up with you."
"I can change Mol," Came a male voice "Please, I'll quit the team. I love you."
"Yeah well I'm sorry Mark, I just can't take it anymore." Molly replied.
With that the tapestry was pulled across and out came the boy I'm guessing was Mark looking rather pissed followed by Molly who looked rather happy. oops guess I just walked in on their break up scene. whoops.
"Oh hello Lil, sorry you had to see that." She said looking down the corridor after the boy called Mark.
I shrugged and then asked "How come you're not at lunch?"
"Wanted to do it when the school was quiet. I just couldn't put up with him constantly talking about quidditch. You?"
I held up my plate of cheese "I wanted to eat in peace. I'm fed up of the rumours."
Molly smiled at me then hugged me, "Listen Lil. Ignore all the rumours, trust me people will be over this in a few weeks. Look at me, I'm sure you've heard the stuff they say about me. Do I hide away or isolate myself no I keep on going and Ignore them."
I'm not isolating myself I just want peace. "Thanks Mol" I said simply because I didn't know what else to say.
She hugged me again and said " I gotta go now Lil, take care yeah and ignore them." before rushing off down the corridor.
Thinking what Molly had said about ignoring them I carried on to Gryffindor Tower. When I entered the common room I found it empty, making my way up to my dorm I took a piece of cheese and ate it. Pushing the door open to the place I call home, with it's four poster beds and Maroon and Gold colours it's so cosy, I walked in and went over to my bedside cabinet.
Since Muggle devices like Mobile phones and fridges don't work here. I got Rose to find me a spell that would turn something into a cool space like a fridge. She taught me the spell 'Coolio' which I used on my bedside cabinet and therefore the cupboard part is now a fridge. In it I have a supply of pumpkin juice and chocolate and some other sweets. I Placed the plate of cheese in there and left my dorm again.
There was now first year in the common room eating what looked like a pasty and trying to balance several books at one time. I wish I was a first year again and I didn't have to worry about anything except getting through the year. It was a lot less hassle, I mean my O.W.L's start next Tuesday and Rose, Al, Dom, Jamie and all the other seventh years start their N.E.W.T's as well. That's only EIGHT days away, EIGHT days and I am totally freaking out.
But right now, I need to concentrate on going to the hospital wing to see Cassy. I need to tell her that I have chosen the Hamilton's and see if she can set up a meeting which I am dreading. I mean what do I say to them, what if they don't like me. Arghhh Brain shut up please. Concentrate Lily, concentrate.
I walked back through the Hogwarts corridor's to the Hospital wing. Hopefully Cassy isn't down in the great hall, I don't think she was at the staff table when I looked in there. Walking straight into the hospital wing, I made my way to Cassy's office and Knocked.
"Come in." came her voice.
I pushed the door and entered. Cassy was sat at her desk, a plate of what looked like chicken salad in front of her. It looked yummy and my mouth watered at the sight of it.
"Sorry to interrupt, but I need to speak to you about the file you gave me." I Told her.
"Please take a seat Lily." Cassy said gesturing to the chair opposite her.
I sat down and explained, taking the file out of school bag and placing on the desk. "Well you see I've looked through and I think I've found my baby's parents. Natalie and Tyler Hamilton."
"Right then, well I shall contact them and I arrange a meeting." Cassy Replied "While you are here Lily is it ok if I do a check up?"
I nodded "Sure."
Cassy stood up and moved towards the door, I copied and left the office. Just like last time I hopped up onto the nearest bed and lifted up my school shirt whilst she went to get the machine. It doesn't seem like it was only two weeks ago that I saw Jellybean for the first time.
I watched as Cassy squirted the gel on my stomach, again it was cold but this time I made no noise. Her wand waved over my ever growing stomach and stopped directly in the middle above my belly button and the I heard it, my Jellybean's heartbeat. It's amazing. I looked over at the screen and saw a slightly larger shape than last time, my jellybean looks like it's grown.
"Would you like a picture Lily?" Cassy asked.
I smiled at the little jellybean on the screen "Yes Please." I replied.
Moments later Cassy was handing me the picture and as I looked at the little moving jellybean she asked "Lily, have you been eating properly?"
I looked up at her "why?, is something wrong?"
"No, but you need to be eating three healthy meals a day, drinking lots and also resting. Stress isn't good for the baby."
Yeah well right now, all I seem to be is stressed.
Having seemed to have read my mind Cassy continued "Lily don't worry about your O.W.L's too much, you're a bright student. I'm sure you will be fine just take care of yourself ok."
I nodded and went to turn around to walk down the hospital wing when Cassy said"Oh and one more thing Lily, I've worked out you are due the seventh of December and I think it will be better for you to go to St Mungo's for your twenty week scan as it will be the summer holidays then. I shall contact Mr and Mrs Hamilton and arrange a meeting in the next few weeks."
I smiled and said "Thank you Cassy." and then I hugged her.
I left the hospital wing feeling happy. I was walking back through the quiet castle through the corridor's on the seventh floor thinking about the jellybean growing inside of me and since I wasn't paying much attention around me and where I was going, I bumped into somebody.
"Oof" I said as I nearly fell to the floor but someone held on to me.
"Hey be careful." They said as they held on to, keeping me upright.
Hang on, that's Jake's voice. oh no I've bumped into Jake and right now he's the last person I want to see. I'm still mad at him and I have every right to be. He left me, he left his pregnant girlfriend for two weeks without contact. I was worried sick and all he can say is 'hey'.
I refuse to look at him so I just mumbled "Thanks." and started to make my way away from him, except he still had hold of me.
"Lily Please, please listen to me." He pleaded.
I tried wriggling myself free, but it didn't work.
"Lily, I'm sorry. what else do you want me to say. I love you and I'm sorry for leaving, it's just it was huge shock."
I looked at him and raised my eyebrows "A huge shock, a huge shock for you. Well how about me Jake, how do think I felt when I found out. Do you think I was all 'ooh I'm going to be a mummy yay' no was I fuck. I was scared shitless and I still am." I practically yelled at him.
"Lil, I just needed time to think about, for the news to sink in." He said.
"Oh really and what about me!" I yelled "I have had to deal with it for the past nine weeks. I have had to deal with the thought of having a baby at sixteen. I am the one who has had to make a decision that changes my life. Did I run away when I found out, NO I DIDN'T. I stayed and I'm dealing with it. Do you know that I spent the past two weeks worrying about you. I though you were never going to come back since you didn't think to contact me."
"Lil, Please will you just listen." He said again.
"Why, why should I listen." I asked.
"Because I love you and I want to raise this baby. The two of us together and the little one. Lil that's our baby growing in there and I want to be with you forever and always."
Really does he thinks that two jobless, pennyless teenager's are gonna be able to raise a baby, is he kidding me.
"Look Jake I'm not keeping it, we're not keeping. I've chosen adoption and Madame Pomfrey is setting up a meeting with the parents I've chosen."
He looked pissed, Can't say I'm not surprised. "Lily you can't just give away our child!" He said angrily.
"Jake we're sixteen for god sake" I yelled at him, letting all my anger out "And it's not like you give a flying fuck, You left when I needed you the most. I made the decision because you weren't here, you didn't even contact me to say you were back. I heard it from Jamie."
He opened his mouth to speak but I cut across him "NO JAKE YOU LISTEN TO ME, NOT ONCE have you asked me how I am or even how the baby is. We're both fine for your information and not once have you asked to see a scan photo." I pulled out the picture Cassy had not long given me and threw it at him before saying "There it is, our jellybean but don't get too attached. I'm putting this baby up for adoption so it can have a better life, with parents who love it and can provide for it. I've chosen the parents and I'm meeting them in a few weeks." I could feel the tears running down my cheek but I carried on "If you don't like it then you can just fuck off, because I don't really want to see you again."
And with that my tears became heavier and quicker running down my face, I turned around and ran as fast as I could down the corridor and didn't stop until I reached the fat lady. Luckily everyone was still at lunch and hopefully no one just heard our argument.
The fat lady didn't even ask for the password when she saw me, she just swung open and I hurried inside. The first year had gone now and I pretty much launched myself up the stairs, into the dorm and onto my bed grabbing my pillow for comfort. I think I just broke up with Jake, my boyfriend of two years. My boyfriend who I love but am extremely mad at. I think I've gone crazy.
I sat up a little and Looked over at my clock, through my teary eyes I could just make out that lunch was nearly over. I'm not leaving. I'm not going to the last two lessons and sitting there in the same class as Jake and act like noting happened, I'm not. I heard my stomach growl, so I opened my bedside cabinet and pulled out the plate of cheese I put in there earlier as well as a jar of chocolate spread. Yummy cheese and chocolate. After finishing my lunch I went and took a long hot shower.
Shower's are nice, I mean you can cry and no one will even notice same goes for when your walking in the rain. My tears just kept on falling but after a while I couldn't tell the difference between a tear and the water dripping down my face. Having got out after what felt like ages, I put my grey sweat's on and pulled on a purple t-shirt. I went back in the bathroom to put my towels in the laundry basket when I caught sight of myself in the mirror behind the door. I don't look sixteen, I look way older. I have bags under my eyes which are red and puffy from crying. My face looks rounder, my hair is damp and a complete mess and I don't exactly look happy either. My eyes travelled down until they landed on my bump. I stood there and looked at in the mirror.
It's a strange feeling knowing you have something growing inside of you, I rubbed my bump gently and murmured "You are going to be so loved by your parents and one day we will meet again. I know it's for the best and I hope you will see that when your older. I love you baby." I stared at the mirror a bit longer as thought wishing it could let me see inside of my bump, to see my jellybean swimming around or doing whatever it does.
I could feel the tears again, so I wiped them away and left the bathroom. I went and curled up in my bed, right under my quilt. I really think I need to do some revising, I mean I should be sat in charms right now. Except I don't want to, I can't face Jake, I just can't. Not after seeing the look on his face after I told I had chosen adoption and the same look when I told him if he didn't like it then he could do one. I screamed into my pillow. Why Lily, why did you tell him that, he looked as though I had just ripped his heart out of hid chest, crushed it and then stamped on it for good luck.
I bet he hates me, I bet he definitely doesn't want anything to do with me now. I closed my eyes and my brain overpowered my thoughts sending me into a deep sleep.
"Lily, Lily." I heard someone say.
"Will you wake up, please." Came another voice.
My eyes stayed firmly shut, when I felt someone gently shaking me. "Go away" I muttered "I don't won't to get up."
"Well at least she's alive." said the first voice again.
I felt a weight on the bottom of my bed, near my feet and this time I heard a male voice.
"Lily if you don't wake up I will owl mum."
My eyes flickered open and I was face to face with someone with bright green eyes. "Arghh!" I yelled as I sat up, pulling my quilt right up to my chin and then I heard a bump and and "ow". Bringing my eyes into focus I could see Al laughing. Great so it was his eyes that freaked me out. Looking around I found Livi on the floor, ok so maybe she had fallen off my bed, Kayl was sat on her's and Al stood up next to mine. I stretched out an arm and whacked him hard.
"Oww." He complained.
Serves him right, I was quite happily asleep until he rudely woke me up. I yawned and looked at Livi who looked frightened as she got back up and sat on my bed. I then frowned at her and asked "Liv what's up, why do you look like you've seen a ghost?"
She looked right at me "You didn't show up for the last two lessons of the day and no one said they saw you in the library either. We thought something bad had happened."
Kayl looked at Al who put his arms up in surrender and said "Alright I can see where I'm not wanted. I'm going, I'm going and Lil take care" He walked over to Kay and kissed her on the mouth. Yuck.
"Please don't do that again in front of me." I called to him as he left the dorm. I heard him chuckle.
"Lil clearly something has happened otherwise your eyes wouldn't be red and puffy and Jake wouldn't be waiting at the bottom of the stairs pacing like a lunatic demanding to know if you're up here." Kay told me.
"Oh," I whispered before explaining what had happened whilst they were at lunch. "Just tell him I'm fine."
Livi looked at me "Um Lil, I don't think fine will make him go. Apparently he's been there since the end of lunch trying to get up here and you know what the portrait of the witch is like. Al was only allowed up since we let him and that he needed to see if you were ok, since he's your brother."
"Please, just tell him I'm fine. I don't want to talk to him right now."
she shrugged, "Ok, are you coming down in the common room or..."
"No I'm staying here and once you two go I might just go back to sleep."
I watched them both leave the room, leaving me alone again. I need to talk to Bee, I have to talk to her. How did she stay sane when she was having Codie. Not having told anyone and yet still hanging around with James.
I wriggled down my bed and lifted the lid of my trunk. I searched through it's contents and found some crumpled parchment, a quill and a bottle of ink. Grabbing my pillow I put it in the middle of my bed and then I lead down resting my bump on it, I smoothed the parchment out before writing
Hi Bee and Codie
Right now I am so confused. Earlier on today I bumped into Jake coming back from seeing Cassy. I'm fine, I just had to tell her which parent's I had chosen and she did a check up. Anyway as I was going back to the tower I bumped into him. We then got into a big fight about how he left me and how he hasn't even asked about me or the baby. Or even if I had a scan photo. I then threw the latest picture at him and said 'don't get too attached, I'm putting it up for adoption.' He looked like I had ripped his heart out and then trampled on it for good measure. Oh and my O.W.L's are in eight days and I am freaking out about them as well as worrying that the whole school will find out.
The point of my ramblings is how on earth did you manage to stay sane? How did you not tell anyone and how did you manage to stand being around James ever day, because right now I can't even be in the same room as Jake.
Hope you and Codie are ok.
Lots of Love
I folded it up neatly and placed it in my bedside draw. I think that once Jake has gone from the bottom of the stairs then I may go for a little walk to the owlery to see Zephie. I started to read a book that Rose must have left here when I heard the door go. I looked up to see a very muddy, tired looking Roxy.
"Good practice was it then."
"Not really, when you're missing your captain and chaser. And also a beater." She replied peeling off her muddy uniform.
I frowned "How come Dom wasn't there if she's captain. Surely she would have booked the pitch." I saw Roxy shrug as she walked into the bathroom. Why wasn't Jake there" I asked casually.
"Not a clue, He's pacing downstairs and he wouldn't give me an answer unless I let him up to see you." She called over the sound of the running water.
I froze "What!"
The bathroom door opened and her head Poked out. "I said Jake wouldn't give me an answer unless I let him up here to see you. I said no obviously since I want to get changed and shower."
Her head then disappeared back into the now steamy room. Jake... he was still trying to get up here to see me. Maybe he does care about me and jellybean after all and I guess what I said was a bit harsh. Maybe I should let him up just to see what he want's but then again if he comes up here, he might not leave me alone if we argue. On the other hand, if I make my way down to the door and sit on the stairs. Then we will still be able to talk and I will also have an escape plan, but then again people might hear us unless I cast Muffliato.
Hmm.. I was still trying to decide when Roxy came out of the bathroom, wearing jeans and a green t-shirt looking a lot happier and also cleaner. Her wet hair was wrapped up in a towel on top of her head.
"You ok Lil?" She asked as she got a pair of socks from her trunk, sat down and put them on.
I looked up at her, right into her dark brown eyes and said "No I'm not fine Rox because I'm pregnant."
I watched as her mouth dropped open and she dropped her other sock, before leaping up off her bed. "No way" She said looking at me.
"Yes way." I replied.
"W-when, W-who, H-how far are you?" Rox managed to splutter.
"March, Jake and I'm fourteen weeks and however many days" I told her expecting her to yell at me. except she didn't.
"Oh my god," She breathed "What are you going to do, are you keeping it?"
I shook my head "I've chosen adoption and my mind is set."
Roxy came over and sat infront of me and pulled me into a hug. "Aww Lil, is that why Jake wants to see you so bad?" She asked as she broke away from me.
"Well yes and no. He wants to see me because earlier on I broke the news to him that I-" I Paused before carrying on "We weren't keeping the baby. Let's say I didn't exactly put it in a nice way either."
"Lil if you ever need to talk...I'm here you know." She said looking at me.
"Thank Rox, listen can you do me a favour."
"Sure," She replied.
"Can you please tell Jake that I am not in the mood for talking right now and that if he wants to talk we will, tomorrow,"
She nodded "Anything else..."
"Just that message. I think I might go back to sleep, thanks anyway Rox."
I watched as she found her other sock and put it on, then used her wand to dry her hair. She then left the room leaving me alone once again. Fuck, did I actually just tell Roxy I was pregnant. Well if only telling mum and dad had gone like that, It would have been a hell of a lot easier. I closed my eyes and leaned back on my pillows when I heard shouting coming from downstairs.
"YOU TELL HER I WANT TO SEE HER NOW, I NEED TO SEE HER NOW!"
I sat up and then creeped across the dorm and opened the door. Listening closely I could hear Jake's voice and boy did he sound angry.
"I DON'T CARE ROXY, I HAVE TO TALK TO HER NOW OR I'LL SHOUT IT OUT FOR EVERYONE TO HEAR"
I froze, he wouldn't would he?. Oh god this cannot be happening, he wouldn't tell everyone in the common room right now that I was pregnant would he? I grabbed my dressing gown off the bottom of my bed and made my way down the stairs. Stopping two steps up from the bottom I sat down. Jake's back was to the entrance and to me and he was yelling at Roxy who was stood there looking calm. The whole common room was silent and everyone had clearly been watching the scene between them both as all on eyes were on them and now me.
Roxy shrugged "Don't shoot the messenger, anyway she's behind you." She told him before going to sit with Kayl and Livi by the fire.
Jake spun around so fast that he lost his balance causing him to nearly fall over. I suppressed a giggle and remembered what I was going to do.
"What do you want." I snarled at him.
His voiced lowered, "Lil we need to talk."
"No Jake we do not need to talk because my mind is made up and I am not changing it." I told him.
Of course this got very strange looks from the people in the room and they started to whispered. Except Roxy, Livi, Kayl and the boys (Hugo,Matt and Leo) who pretty much knew that we are on about my pregnancy.
"Lil please. If you won't talk then I'll just announce it to everyone."
I noticed a certain person grin wickedly in the corner. Becca was sat there with Laura who was reading the daily prophet, not properly paying attention to what was going on over here. Where as Becca was watching like a hawke, clearly she wanted to know what Jake was on about.
Look's like I'm not going to win here.
"Jake if you really want to talk then fine we will. But not right now I'm tired and I just want to go to bed. So we'll talk tomorrow." I declared.
"But..." He started to say.
I cut him off "Look we either talk tomorrow or not at all. If you pick tomorrow then yes I will speak about it, but I am not changing my decision. If you don't pick tomorrow then I'll do it on my own and I don't want to see you again."
I heard the gasp's as I said this but I ignored them and stood up making sure my dressing gown was still tied tightly before walking back up to the dorm. Taking my dressing gown off as I walked across to my bed. I chucked it across the bottom before crawling under my quilt and reflecting on what had just happened.
Again I think I broke up with Jake but this time everyone heard what I had said. Everyone would know that we had argued and by tomorrow morning it would around the whole school, everyone would know that something was up and that if Jake didn't like it, then I never wanted to see him again.
I rolled over and placed one of my hand's on my bump and whispered "Look's like this is gonna be a long and bumpy road jellybean." Rubbing my bump gently I closed my eyes and wished I would drift off to sleep.
It's been a week since I argued with Jake, a week since I told him that we would talk. A week filled with him annoying me and bombarding me with questions. A week that I have had to duck down shortcuts and hidden passage ways to get to my lessons. A week of me hiding out in my dorm trying to revise for my O.W.L's which start tomorrow!
As you may have guessed we haven't spoken like I said we would. I never intended on speaking to him about it. I just wanted to get him off my case for the rest of that night and now I have had to pay the price. I'm so stressed right now it's unreal, right now my life doesn't seem real. I sent a letter to Bee last week and I've only just gotten a reply, she gave me some really good advice as well:
I'm not sure how to say this, but I don't think saying that was a good idea. You two should have decided together, you should decide together. I have no idea how I stayed sane, I think because I was keeping myself busy with school work and prefect duties I didn't have any free time to mull over the fact I was pregnant. I just couldn't bring myself to tell anyone because I though if no one knew then it couldn't be real, stupid I know but it seemed to work. Again I kept busy with homework and prefect duties to get out of hanging out with James. We did have a conversation about how he thought I was avoiding him etc... but we worked it out.
As for your O.W.L's don't skip classes because right now you need your O.W.L's. If you don't carry on in school and sit your N.E.W.T's then these are the grades you will get. I didn't sit my N.E.W.T's. In fact I didn't even do my seventh year but since my O.W.L grades weren't that bad, I was allowed to take night classes as Codie got older which allowed me to get me a job at the pharmacy and hopefully I'll be able to get in on a healer course in September.
We are both well, pop into Hogmeade if you need a chat on Saturday. I'm free after one o'clock.
Bee and Codie xx
Hmm, well next time I see her or owl her I shall definitely be asking about why she didn't go back and do her seventh year and more importantly what she told everyone. I mean say I did keep jellybean but no one else knew and then I don't turn up for my sixth or seventh year surely people would be asking questions and stuff.
Right now I'm on the way to lunch with Kay and Livi. Jake has detention because we had an argument in transfiguration. I was lucky because Mcgonagall turned around at the exact moment that Jake had chosen to retaliate. His fault really not mine, I mean he didn't have to reply. Anyway it means that I am free to go down to lunch and not have to worry about him annoying me, well at least for a little while.
The whisper's have followed me around the school all day today especially since Transfig and our little argument. Hopefully I will be able to enjoy lunch today without him breathing down my neck and especially now since my sickness has passed and I can eat a lot more than just toast, crackers, ginger biscuits and bread these days.
When we entered the great hall, some eyes turned towards me, others carried on with their conversations and eating not even acknowledging that I had entered. I noticed that Al and Jamie were sat at the Gryffindor table, wondering why on earth they were sat there not at the Slytherin table with Scorpius. My question was soon answered as I spotted Scorp and Rose sat not too far away Al and Jamie, guess they didn't want to sit by the love birds.
"Hi guys." I said as I sat down opposite them. Kayl sat by Al and Livi by me.
They both looked up. Jamie said "Hey." But Al ignored us and kissed Kayl.
"Yuck. What did I tell you two about that." I complained.
They both smiled "I seem to have forgotten." Al said.
I rolled my eyes and helped myself to some salad, chicken and a bread roll. Pouring myself a big goblet full of pumpkin juice I drained it and helped myself to more.
"Jeez Lil, what'd you do. Run a marathon." Al joked.
Kay hit for me, since I couldn't reach. "Haha Very funny. Hate to break it to you Al, but you're no comedian." I told him.
I was quite happily tucking into my food, listening to the conversation around me. When I saw Lola (Jake, Jamie and Izzy's sister) walking towards us, I thought nothing of it I mean she might want to speak to Jake or Izzy who are Both Gryffindor's or even Jamie who was sat with us. She stopped behind Jamie and smiled at me. I continued eating my food since it tasted so good. I don't think I've eaten a proper meal like this in weeks.
"Did you want something Lo." Jamie asked her.
"Um yes," She said in a quiet voice "But it's nothing to do with you." She told her big brother.
"Who's it to do with then?" He asked.
She pointed at me and I looked up. "I didn't do it." I said automatically. I honestly have not done anything wrong.
Lola smiled at me again "Professor Mcgonagall want's to see you in her office. Now if possible." She told me.
They all looked at me, each of them had a confused expression.
"I haven't done anything I swear." I stated.
"Professor Mcgonagall just asked me to pass the message on. And something about Hippogriffs. Bye." With that she skipped off to the Ravenclaw table.
I sat still for a moment and finished the rest of my salad. Then I did my robes up whilst I was still sat down and I picked my bag up. I was nearly out of the hall when I heard Livi yelling "You better be in last two lessons." I just waved in reply and carried on walking worrying about what she could what. I mean I don't think I've gotten in trouble.
I said the password 'Hippogriffs' to the stone gargoyle. It sprang to life ad I hopped onto the stairs. Once outside the door I pulled my robes tighter around me and knocked.
"Come in." Came Mcgonagall's voice. I'm surprised she hasn't retired yet.
I entered and when I looked again, I saw Cassy and Uncle Neville, I mean Professor Longbottom sat in front of her at the desk.
"Ahh Miss Potter, please take a seat." She said brightly and Unc-, Professor Longbottom stood up offering me his chair.
I smiled at him and sat down in a big squishy red armchair, dropping my bag by my feet.
"It has come to my attention that you are Pregnant are you not?" She stated.
I nodded and said quietly, "Yes professor."
"May I ask how far are you?"
"I'm just gone fifteen weeks." I told her.
"Madame Pomfrey tells me that you are due around December seventh. I have spoken with Professor Longbottom since he is head of your house and we have decided that it will be ok for you to start your sixth year and then half way through November you will be allowed time off. It will be up to you when you come back as long as you give yourself plenty of time to catch up and then start revising for your N.E.W.T's"
Ok so that was a good start. At least I am allowed back to school, I thought I wouldn't be able to.
"Um you see professor, the thing is I'm planning on adoption." I announced.
She looked at me for a moment through her glasses before saying, "Very well, that does not change the matter. Who is the father may I ask?"
Ok so that took me off guard and as I looked up to reply I caught Professor Longbottom's eye. He smiled but it made me nervous for some reason.
"Jacob Smith." I muttered
"Ahh yes, I heard you two were dating."
Do the teachers sit around listening to their students gossip or do they makes on when they think two certain people will get together. I only say this because dad reckons that when auntie Hermione and uncle Ron got together at the battle of Hogwarts, he swear he saw her slip some coins to Professor Sprout as if she had lost a bet.
"Does Mr Smith know about this?" Professor Longbottom asked.
"Yes. He knows that I'm pregnant and choosing adoption." I replied hoping it sounded like we had chosen together.
It was then Cassy who spoke, "I've scheduled a meeting with the parents you have chosen for this weekend if that's ok."
"T-this weekend." I stammered.
"Yes" She nodded "Is that ok Lily."
Oh my god, I have to meet them this weekend. That's only what four, five days away, well there goes my plans on meeting Bee, unless I drag her along with me. There is no way I am meeting them on my own.
"As you are aware O.W.L's start tomorrow and I think I may have to excuse you from some of them." Mcgonagall told me snapping me out of my thoughts.
"What," I said nearly jumping out of my seat. "You can't."
"I'm afraid I may have to. You can only do written things in potions and I will make sure you have a written exam and not a practical as the fumes will not be good for you or baby. You will mainly do written work in Charms, Transfiguration and Defence Against The Dark Arts When it comes to the practicals you will do then as normal but instead of being in the great hall with everyone else, they'll be in one of the classrooms opposite."
"But I've been fine in those lessons and there is nothing wrong with me or the baby." I protested.
"We simply cannot take the chance Lily."
I looked down at the floor. She cannot be serious my O.W.L's start tomorrow and I have to do practicals in a room, on my own with an examiner. Great, just bloody brilliant. Whilst I was caught up in my thoughts I hadn't noticed that Professor Longbottom had gone.
"Lily," I looked up and it was Cassy who was speaking. "Lily," she said again "I have arranged you to have your appointments at St Mungo's over the summer, then when you comeback you have them with me until you leave school early November." She explained.
I nodded, "Thanks Cassy, thanks Professor."
Just as I was about to open the door I heard Mcgonagall say "Good luck with your O.W.L's Miss Potter.". I nodded and left. As I jumped off the end off the end of the stairs, I bumped straight into some one. It took me a minute to realise who it was. Jake.
Before I could open my mouth to speak his finger came down on my lips. "Shh." He whispered as he took my hand, bringing me away from the stairs. "Listen Lily, I'm sorry." He said once he had moved his finger from my lips.
I frowned at him since it had shocked me. He was saying sorry?
"I'm sorry for behaving the way I did and I shouldn't have run off. You were right we Can't do this. It was stupid of me to think so. You're right, the baby will have a much better life if it's parents can provide it with the things it need."
Ok so that totally threw me, I had not been expecting that. I tried to talk but he kept on going "Lil I love you with all my heart and I don't want to throw our relationship away just because we argued. I want you to know I support you and I want to be there every step of the way."
I blinked a few times oh my god, is he really agreeing with me.
"Um ok. Well I'm meeting the parents I chose on Saturday if you want to y'know come along." I said a little awkwardly.
He smiled "Of course, every step of the way." He said again and then he kissed me. His lips were soft and warm and he tasted like honey. How I've missed this, I thought, how I've missed him. I haven't been this close with him since the day I told him I was pregnant.
We broke apart and he lead me towards the tapestry of trolls on the seventh floor. I knew where he was going with this and we were soon in the room of requirement. I dumped my bag and pulled out the folder before he could kiss me again.
"This is them," I told him holding the file out. "The parents: Natalie and Tyler Hamilton."
He took it from me and read whilst I went over and laid down on the big bed that was here. I heard the bed creak as Jake joined me, lying next to me so he was barely inches away from me.
"Sooo..." I said looking up at the ceiling trying to remember why this place seemed familiar.
"They seem nice, I think they'll be perfect." He replied kissing my nose.
I giggled, it felt so nice to be this close to him again.
"Hey Lil, how um..." He hesitated "How far are you?"
I looked at him, those eyes. "Fifteen weeks." I murmered as I snuggly closer to him. My hands fumbling with the buttons on his school shirt. "Why?"
"Just wondering." He answered and then he kissed the top of my head. His shirt was undone now and he went to wrap his arms around me but I pulled away. I sat up and went to the clasp on my robes, undoing them to reveal my bump. I saw his eyes widen as I undid my own shirt.
"Wow!" He whispered stretching a hand out and placing it on my bump. "This really is happening isn't it."
I smiled and said "Yes it really is." Before kissing him. The clothes were gone within minutes and he was on top, I felt him gently kiss my bump and it was only then I realised this was the place where all this started, this was the bed where we had first done it. Yet here we were again and this time there was no need for the contraceptive charm since this time I was already pregnant.
I lost my thought and we then had sex on the bed where this all began not so many months ago. It's so nice to be this close again.
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