I don't particularly understand why I have to apparate to the station in London and I still have to the train to Hogwarts. I live in New York City, so I would have to apparate anyway, but it would make more sense if we just went straight to school. Every time I bitch about it, i get fed some bullshit about 'safety precautions.' Really people? I'm not a Death Eater. I would be far too lazy to even be considered for their ranks.
I mean, I don't hate the train ride, per se, it's just that I think it's a waste of time. There are so few things to do-
"LEEEEECEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" Speak of the devil. This, ladies and gentlemen, is one of those few things to do. His name is Scorpius Malfoy.
Once he releases me from his spinning bear hug, he slings me over his shoulder and carries me onto the train. Now before you get any ideas, I don't actually DO Scor. He isn't dating me, and even if I wanted to it wouldn't happen: he has been in love with Rose Weasley since the moment he met her in the First Year.
Due to extreme chickening on Scor's behalf, they don't even talk. He still drools at her from afar. Obvious much? According to my Other Thing to Do (SHUT UP, YOU PERVY BASTARD), Dom, Rose doesn't even notice his creepworthy behavior, i.e. babbling on and on about the warm chocolatey quality of her eyes (I'm quoting). Poor Scor.
"Omigod, I haven't seen you in so fricking LONG, I have had the most BORING summer without you, Lici. I can't wait to tell you all about it, not that there was anything interesting., Dom's in the compartment and she is SO DAMN SELFISH. She was interrupting my bitch/rant to tell me about her summer which I DIDN'T ASK TO HEAR. I was soo pissed…" I'm going to interrupt this running commentary to let you know that yes, this is really is Scorpius talking here. Yes, six-foot-eight, platinum-blond, fucking-Greek-god (at least to the other girls of Hogwarts), Slytherin-star-Keeper Scorpius Malfoy. People that don't know who he is (though you are hard-pressed to find those) assume he's my gay best friend when he talks. He isn't, but he makes it hard to really be sure.
Somehow, we arrive at the compartment as Scor is finishing his tale of woe. "Oh, and Lici, you'll never guess! I'm a prefect!" I blinked. "I never would guess. I was positive you'd end up as the Quidditch Captain." He nodded. "Yeah, I got both and I was so amped until I realized it was against school rules to have both-" Oh, God, Scor is following rules. I have been around him for far too long "- so I mailed the people and told them I wanted to be prefect first, and guess who they gave Captain to?" A familiar voice, dripping with sarcasm: "They gave it to someone far more deserving." Dom pushed her way into the compartment and smirks at us. "Scor, did you ever think that maybe Rose doesn't go near you because she thinks you're dating Lici?" I say, "It's lovely to see you too, Dommy Dearest!" at the same time Scor splutters, "But we're not!" Dom beams and trills, "Oh, but of course, Licikins," and then she turns, giving Scor a pointed look (it's always amazed me how her face can morph like that). "Why in refridgerator's name do you look like that?!" Dom raises a perfectly sculpted eyebrow at his desperate expression. "I mean, what would give anyone that idea?"
Dom was clearly trying to keep giggles in. "Erm, maybe the fact that Lici is always on your lap?" This is true. I don't sit on any seats when Scor's around. I mean, what which you pick, a nice warm Scorpius or a cold hard chair? Yeah, that's what I thought.
Scorpius looked indignant as he declared, "That is a blatant lie." Uh…"Scor, you do realize that I'm sitting on your lap right now, as we speak?" He looks down. "Oh." AWKWARD. "Soo…who got Captain?" Dom rolled her eyes. "You didn't get it when I said someone more deserving?" I just looked at her blankly and said plainly, "No." Dom just raises her eyebrows and looks at me. I look back at her with my eyebrows lifted.. We stay there like that for awhile. "…Are you just going to sit there, or are you going to tell me?" Scor saved me by saying, "She means her. She's Captain." I thump him upside his head. "WHy did you not inform me of this SOONER?!" He just surged. "I had time before, but I have a prefects' meeting so I needed to speed things along." I thumped him again, and then I stood up.
I started following him out the door and Dom frowned. "Where the hell do you think you're going, young lady?" I gave her The Look. "I'm a prefect, too, which you would know IF YOU WEREN'T BEING A BITCH ABOUT YOUR CAPTAINCY." Dom ignored my snappy comment and chose to whine instead. "Your leeeeeeeaving me, Licikins, all on my oooown?? Pleeeeeeease stay. Pleeeease??? Prety please?"
"Mmm…I think….Nope." And with that, I bounced out the room.
By the time I caught up with Scor, the meeting was already about to start. I spotted him next to the infamous Rose, actually talking. He laughed at something she said, and she….blushed? Was that a blush I saw there? I do believe it was…Do you know what time it is?
It is time for me to be uncharacteristically and most annoyingly loud.
I opened the compartment door, and strode over to Scor's lap and plopped myself down so I faced Rose. "She blinked, said "Oh," and began to shrink back. I grabbed her wrist lightly to stop her, and smiled wickedly. "Don't worry, Hon, I'm just here to hold Scor here down, in the event he gets the sudden urge to jump your bones." Scorpius stuttered out something incomprehensible, and Rose snickered. ANd that just set me off. I tossed back my head and laughed. I don't laugh very often, but there was something about her laugh and her smile that really made not laughing impossible. Maybe that was why Scor fell for her. I wouldn't know; I tend to tune him out once he reaches the topic of Rose.
When I finally opened my eyes, head still knocked back, I found a pair of eyes dangerously close to mine. They locked my own and we stared at one another for a time, until I said, "Itt's impolite to stare. Didn't your mother ever teach you?"
Her eyes were realy, really big, and her voice…what did she say? Did she insult my mother? That is something I cannot stand for, even if her eyes were really dark and big and gorgeous. "Well then," I said, with my smarmy-git voice I picked up from James, "you were staring back. Didn't your mother ever teach YOU not to stare?" Her eyes narrowed, and despite the fact that her face was still upside down, she still looked scary as hell. "As a matter of fact, she did." Well then. No need to get snappy, lady, I was just- Why is Rose laughing at me? It isn't funny. Not a bit.
I pulled my eyes from the girl's and saw a couple strange things: 1) The Girl, as she with henceforth be known as, was sitting on Scorpius Malfoy's lap 2) Rose was not laughing at me. Instead, my cousin Rose was flirting and giggling with Malfoy. Also The Girl didn't mind Rose, she minded me talking about her mum. Personally I think that shows a lack of proper priority organization. If I were a girl I would be more pissed that the guy whose lap I was sitting on was flirting with another girl, especially if the guy was Scorpius Malfoy (shudder). I wouldn't be nearly as mad at the very fit man in front of me. Especially if the lovely fit boy was me.
Please don't think I'm gay or narcissistic, because I'm not. I'm just abnormally sexy. That's all.
I started rummaging through my pockets looking for my wand, but it was nowhere to be found. I hate how it disappears right when I need to hex Malfoy. In the background, The Girl had turned back to Rose and Malfoy and had begun to talk about Malfoy jumping Rose. Not okay, lady. My Rosie is an innocent being who doesn't need a conniving Malfoy to corrupt her. And I don't stop this twatberrinosity (hell yeah it's a word) James will and James will do a lot more damage to the both of them than I would. Especially if I can't find my frigging wand…
As I began to have anxiety attacks, The Girl slides herself from Malfoy's lap to mine.Think normal thoughts, Al. Like how you have Malfoy cooties now, via Her lap. Don't think at all about the very much fit girl in your lap. Not a even a little. Nope. I have extreme self-control skills, like a boss.
"So," she drawls, and drapes both arms around my neck. "What seems to be the problem?" She rolls her Rs in a seductive purr… No, Al, She isn't fit. Or sexy, or really attractive. Of course not.
"I'm pretty sure I lost my wand." I'm so smooth, not. I'm so lucky my abnormal level of sexiness makes up for lost smoothnosity.
She snuggles her chest closer to me until it is pressed against my own. LALALA I'M NOT THINKING I'M AS AIRHEADED AS A DUMB BLONDE I HAVE FLUFF IN MY HEAD. "I might have seen it around," she purrs and smirks into my eyes. If eyes could talk, hers would be saying, You are my bitch. Crap.
"Where was it?" If I wasn't flipping complete and utter shit about my wand, I would have taken the time to make myself a little more attractive. As it was, I was flipping shit about the wand and so I came off as a prat. But maybe after I find the wand…
Out of nowhere, she just sticks her hand down her shirt… and comes up with my wand. What the fuck…?! When I reached for it, her hand whipped back into the shirt before I could snatch it. And I'm supposed to be the amazing Gryffindor seeker, with lightning reflexes. Damn. I was just beaten out by a girl.
And she's right in my face and she has these big dark eyes that a bloke could get lost in forever, and of course her hair is all black and shiny and I would very much like to bury my face in it, and she smells all intoxicating and shit, like leather and vanilla and something else like turmeric. But then there is the rest of her which reminds me of this song where the guy sings about a girl who is shaped like guitar, not to mention the fact that all of her guitarness was pressed on me…
"Hush," she says, snapping me out of my reverie. "Why?" She presses a finger to my lips to quiet me. I'm ashamed to say it worked. "The meeting's started, and you started making weird noises and then you went all paralyzed."
"Oooooh…so, can I have my wand?"
"Why the fuck not?"
She shrugged. "I dunno. I don't really feel like going back down my shirt to get it."
"I'm sort of lazy. Besides, we should listen."
Before I could go insane on her (very much fit, very much on my lap) arse, she did that hushing finger again.
In my defense, I had no choice! The hush finger is a very powerful weapon.
"…And so, here are your timetables with all of your patrolling times. Here, I'll pass them out."
Apparently I don't start my patrols until the third week of school, and I patrol on Thursday nights in the Slytherin dungeons with a certain Slytherin by the name of Alicia Santos-Rodriguez. I don't even know who the FUCK that is. Ah, well. I'll figure that one out when I have to.
"I look forward to this year," typical prefect actually enjoying school; the only reason I made prefect is that the kids in our year are largely retarded, "and I 'll see you around. You are all dismissed. The girl leapt up from my lap and swirled her guitarnosities out the door without a word. It was unfortunate, actually, as my lap was quite cold after she left me.
I turned to Rose to see if she was ready to walk back to the family compartment, only to see her practically shagging Malfoy (okay, their shoulders touched). I rolled my eyes and walked alone. But for once I decided not to take part in the banter back in the campoartment.
Instead, I thought about the girl with my wand, the one with a body shaped like a rock guitar.
A/N: Guess where I am? HOME. I wrote this chapter, and the four after it in Europe, so those author's notes probably won't make nearly as much sense. It got rejected, and then I didn't know because I didn't have wifi for awhile. But I'm back and I'm better than ever (actually, I'm jetlagged as fuck and thus am probably worse than ever).
So, pray tell, what did you think of Al? I honestly have no clue what goes on in boys' , and especially not British boys' heads, so I had no idea what I was doing. It looks good(ish) to me, but I'll let you be the judge of that. What did you think of Lici? What will she do next? I have no fucking clue, but in the next chapter you will see less of her badassness, but then Lici will become badass of the century. It shall be of the legit shit.
Speaking of Dom, what did you think of her? And what about Scor? I'm still working on Lici's not-talking thing. That will take place for most of next chapter, actually.
I'm shutting up now, I'm hungry as who-knows-what because in Paris I would be eating dinner around this time…and we don't have any good food in the house. I would rant about it, but I'm alone. Gee, what a nice family I have, leaving alone at home when I'm so tired as to be incompetent. Whatever. I'll rant after I get some food and some sleep.
Wish me luck in my epic quest for food,
January 26 edits
Wow. I was reeeeally jetlagged. Which goes back to a motto of mine: don't post while tired. I almost always regret it. Well... review please. Thanks.
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