A/N: I know it's been forever I am SOOOO sorry but I couldn't figure out where I was going with this and because of the lovely reviews from "We are Padfoot and Prongs" "Countrymusicfanatic" and my personal friend and BETA "Mischief_managed18" I was reinspired and thought of a way to get it going again. Read on and I hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: I am not JK as I am sure you all realize.
I sat in my hospital bed, staring at the door James had just exited through. My eyes were wide as I looked to Rose, "What happened?"
“I don't know, you tell me?" she said, giving me a hard look.
“Well, I remember being angry at James. Last night he was a jerk. You know how hard it is for me to sleep. I always see…him…it’s gotten worse Rose, and I’m not sure how I can make it stop. The fact that James is so cocky frustrates me!”
Rose continued staring at me as I grabbed a strand of my wet hair, playing with it nervously. The snow had melted, making my hair quite heavy and cold. I let go of the strand, putting my hands in my lap and stared down at them.
“I went outside to think. Ever since yesterday, it’s been hard to focus. In class I end up messing up a simple spell or walking in the wrong direction to class. My head just isn’t in the right place. I haven’t been able to sleep and the times that I do, I wake up seconds later.” My hand involuntarily rose to my cheek. I saw Rose’s eyes following the movement and let my hand fall into my lap once more, “Being out in the cold helps keep me focused. It brings me back to reality and allows myself to escape the nightmares. But I was so tired…and the snow just looked so soft. I sat down just for a moment to process my feelings and it just felt right sitting there. I just went to sleep.” I said softly.
Rose looked at me staying quiet as she put her hand on mine, “The next thing I remember is James walking out that door.” I said, glancing at the oak doors and back down to the white blankets.
“He’s the one that found you.” Rose said softly.
“I guess I owe him a thank you.” I looked up to meet her eyes.
Why are you so unhappy September?" she asked, looking into my eyes as if searching for an answer.
“I-I don’t know.” I responded honestly.
She sighed and let go of my hand, “Get some rest Ember. Merlin knows you need it.”
I wanted to argue but saw the hard lines appear on August’s face. I saw June and July exchange worried looks and little October coming to hold my hand.
They were all so lucky. October was too young to remember Dad. June and July were here by the time he got really bad. August was the only one who knew what I was going through, but even he has dealt with this better than I have.
With a sigh, I nodded and closed my eyes trying hard not to think about the nightmare that has been replaying in my head for the past thirteen years.
I heard the oak doors open and close and the Hospital wing once again fell silent. I opened my eyes with a sigh.
Why was this so difficult for me?
“Shut up you stupid girl!” his hand rose to come down on me.
I flinched away from the hand but it never hit. I looked up to see August holding his hand above me.
“You need to stop this.” August had said strongly.
My dad just laughed and pushed him away from me. But instead of my father coming after me, his new target my brother was lying helplessly on the floor.
“Why do you even bother trying? She’s going to go through the pain regardless of what you do. But now instead of September getting the brunt of this punishment, you both can share it.”
His foot rose from the ground and I closed my eyes as I heard my brother yell out in agony.
I blinked away the new tears forming at the corner of my eyes. I couldn’t sleep. I stood and started pacing the Hospital wing, trying to rid my thoughts of my dad. I started to recite America’s states.
“California, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida.”
Madame Pomfry must have heard me walking around muttering, because she came out of her office moments later.
“Miss. Delfire, what are you doing up?” she asked me, concern laced through her voice.
“I couldn’t sleep.” I whispered.
She sighed and gave me a look of sympathy, “Here, I may have something that will help.” She went back into her office and came back with a light blue potion.
I looked at it apprehensively, “What is it?”
“It’s a sleeping draught; it gives you a dreamless sleep.”
I took it from her gratefully, “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” She said with a smile, “When you wake up, you're free to go.”
“Thank you Madame Pomfry. Really.”
“You are very welcome.” She smiled, “Just drink that and it will instantly put you to sleep.” Then she turned and went back into her office. I heard the latch click as I made my way back to my cot.
I examined the potion in the glass vile. It was a beautiful shade of blue. I tipped the glass to my lips and felt the potion go smoothly down my throat. A slight tingle aroused in my belly as I felt the potion settle and immediately, I felt drowsy.
I lay my head on the pillow and closed my eyes. My mind’s eye was met by a boy with messy black hair and hazel eyes, “James.” I murmured and then fell into a deep sleep.
The next morning, I awoke more refreshed than ever. I stretched and the first real smile appeared on my lips. I looked out the window and saw the sun shining, making the icicles on the window sparkle. I closed my eyes in relief as I breathed in the air of the Hospital Wing. I have never felt better.
I got up from my cot and saw my uniform folded neatly in a pile by my bedside.
Madame Pomfry had made sure that I was dressed warmer; she had placed tights and my Gryffindor sweater there as well. I smiled as I started to dress in my uniform.
I went to a nearby mirror as I fixed my hair and looked at my reflection. The light in my eyes had returned and the glow to my features seemed to take a new fire.
I picked up my bag from the side of the bed and left the Hospital Wing without a backwards glance. I walked the corridors and was greeted by a large hug from August who was walking in the direction of the Hospital Wing.
“I was just coming to see you!” he cried, wrapping me in a hug.
“August!” I smiled.
He looked at me his eyes shocked to see me so…glowing.
"What happened? You look... amazing." He said, his eyes betraying how in awe he was.
“You look so surprised!” I giggled and his eyes grew even larger.
I gave him a playful smack on the arm and laughed lightly.
“I don’t know what Madame Pomfry gave you, but I like this side of you!” He said with a large smile.
“Me too.” I agreed and linked arms with my older brother as he led me back up to the common room.
“I need to talk to James.” I said after a few moment of comfortable silence.
“Everything ok?” He asked, his eyebrows furrowing in a worried line.
I smiled up at him reassuringly, “Yeah, I just need to thank him…and apologize for my behavior a few nights ago. I wasn’t myself.”
He disconnected his arm from mine and wrapped me in a hug.
“I haven’t seen you this happy since before dad got…crazy.”
My smile faltered, “Yeah, it’s been a while, hasn’t it?”
“What did Madame Pomfry give you?” he asked.
“A sleeping draught, I got my first good sleep in eight years.”
“Has it really been that long?” he asked, his face contorted into a worried frown.
I nodded then smiled, “Come on August today is a happy day! I’m finally out of my rut. Let’s enjoy it while it lasts.”
He nodded, “You’re right.” He smiled, “James is down at breakfast.”
“Thanks August!” I smiled then ran down the flights of stairs with a skip in my step.
I arrived at the Great Hall and made my way toward the Gryffindor table. The word of my near death experience had circulated the school and I received a lot of ‘welcome back’s and ‘hope your doing well’s. By the time I finally made it to James, it had taken a good fifteen minutes.
“James?” I asked shyly from behind him.
He looked up, as did Erik, Scorp, and Fred.
“Ember, you’re up!” he cried as he jumped up, engulfing me in a hug. I blushed lightly as he backed away.
My eyes moved up to meet his hazel eyes and I felt heat rise into my cheeks. I quickly looked down at my shoes.
“Um…” I started uncertainly, “Can we talk?” I asked, glancing at the boys watching us intently.
When they saw my eyes turn towards them, they began whistling and pretending to be engulfed in their food. Scorpius even managed to be reading a book upside down.
I suppressed a giggle, but couldn't help the smile that had formed on my face. I looked back up to James’ face and his mouth hung open slightly as he watched me.
I blushed again and looked down. I saw him out of the corner of my eyes shake his head as he croaked out, “Um, yeah sure.”
I smiled slightly and turned and started to walk out of the Great Hall. I continued to be bombarded by people’s well wishes but not nearly as many men came up to me as they did before.
I glanced back behind me to where James was. His face was to the ground and he looked as if he was concentrating hard on something. I had an urge to ask him what was wrong, but figured I find out eventually.
She was laughing…she was actually laughing. Her face was lighting up and she looked…happy. It was the first time that I had ever seen her genuinely happy. She was leading me out of the hall and as I was following her, I was trying to figure out what I was going to say.
Erik was talking to me about September earlier at lunch, before she showed up. He was encouraging me to ask her out. I kept saying that she wasn’t ready. That what if things went wrong? She seemed so upset earlier with me. I felt horrible it felt like her lying on the pitch, blue with cold, was my fault.
I felt as if I was the one that pushed her to leave. She was so sad all the time. I wasn’t sure if being with her would help her. She never talked about her past, but I knew that it was bad. I didn’t want to get involved in her life if she wasn’t ready to let anyone in. It took her three years to finally allow Rose into her life as her best friend.
But Rose had even told me that September wasn’t optimistic. Rose is the kind of girl that would go rummaging through peoples things to learn the truth.
It was one day during a Summer Holiday that Rose had said that September admitted that she was interested in someone. I overheard her telling August about it but refused to tell him the boy’s name. She said it was September’s business to tell. She had said that, she couldn’t not tell him, because it was such a huge breakthrough for September to even admit to herself that she liked someone. Never mind telling someone else. But as I was eavesdropping I overheard her saying that she looked into September’s diary and what she read was disturbing.
She had read that she thought that no one loved her. That everyone was just putting on a mask to hide what they really wanted from her. She had even read that her family was disappointed in the way she handled herself, that she took everything too personal and thought herself to be worthless.
When I heard this I was shocked. How could someone so strong willed think that she was weak and worthless? I wasn’t sure if asking her out would be a good thing or not. I wanted her to be happy and I wasn’t sure if asking her out would make her happier or put her back into her depression.
We walked out of the hall and she moved to a quiet corner, away from the Hall doors.
She turned to face me, her mesmerizing silver eyes boring into mine. My breath caught short as she started to speak, “James?”
“Hum?” I said, unable to say much more than that.
“I wanted to thank you.” Her silver eyes shone with nothing but appreciation. She was full of gratitude and the fire lit back up as she watched me.
I stayed quiet, unsure of what to say. I wanted to make a funny joke, say something to make her feel better; assure her that it was nothing and that I’m glad she’s ok.
She took my silence as a queue to continue speaking. Her eyes dulled a bit as I didn’t give her a reaction.
“And…I wanted to apologize.”
That shocked me. Why was she apologizing? Was she apologizing for scaring me? Or worse! Did she know my intentions and was she warning me not to ask her?
“What?” I croaked out involuntarily.
She looked up meeting my eyes, “For the way I acted yesterday. I jumped to conclusions and I shouldn’t have snapped at you. I haven’t been sleeping well…I don’t usually sleep at all.” She added, a little quieter, “So people who comment on it bother me.”
She looked down, took a breath, and met my eyes again, “They don’t understand what’s going through my head and I know that and usually I snap because I don’t think it’s their business. But I realized I shouldn’t have snapped at you. So I’m sorry.” She paused and I realized that she was waiting for a response.
I opened my mouth to tell her I forgave her but instead…
“Will you go out with me?”
A/N: END CHAPTER BWAHAHAHAHAH *ninja flips around flying daggers and other pointy objects* I couldn't help myself it was too perfect but I have good news!!!! The next chapter is in the works so it should be done soon!! Thanks to all of my readers and reviewers I have regained confidence in my stories and found ways to get past my writes block and start writing again!!!