Disclaimer: This story is my interpretation of the song koukou sannensei (12th grader), a Japanese song, sung by Moriyama Naotaro. Lyrics embedded in the story are the translated version of the original lyric (thanks to my bro and sis help for this). Any character, object, scene, etc which you recognize belong to JKR. I really recommend you to listen to the song first to get into the mood of the story better though It might be hard to look for the song. The easiest way is to browse the title with the original writing (look for the Japanese title in its japanese writing).If it's still hard but you're still curious, you can ask me.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Seventeen years old Scorpius Malfoy was lying on his bed. His right arm was up around the pillow while his left was raised by his side, holding a picture of a girl. He gazed upon the girl in the picture. She was sitting alone on one of the many stone steps scattered around Hogwarts castle, reading a thick black covered book. Her head leaned over the book, making her long curly auburn hair fall over her shoulders. The hair concealed her face, but Scorpius knew, nonetheless, that there lied the beautiful and kind face of Rose Weasley. He moved his right arm and traced the outer line of her figure affectionately. His eyes followed whenever she flipped over the pages of the book. He smiled subtly and whispered softly, “You really do like reading, don't you?”
His mind then wandered off to a time in his early student years. He was at Platform nine and three quarters, almost ready to board the Hogwarts Express for the first time, when he saw his father nodding curtly towards a group of people fifty yards away. He couldn't help but also look in that direction. There he saw a bunch of kids, some with reddish hairs, with their famous parents whom he recognized from the stupendous amount of information and pictures found in books, newspapers, and even chocolate frog cards. It was then, for a brief moment, that their eyes met. She was one of the kids with reddish hair, auburn to be more precise, who was already wearing her Hogwarts robes. Then, just before he averted his eyes to the ground, he vaguely noticed a smile coming from her; a very polite yet sincere smile.
The next time he noticed her was when her name was called during the sorting hat ceremony. That time, he was already seated at the Slytherin table. His eyes followed her back as she walked happily towards the cheering Gryffindor table.
The rest of his first year at Hogwarts passed by without him interacting much with her. They shared a few classes together, but that was all about it. However, he couldn't help but notice the energy she brought into each and every class they were in. She was a very active and smart student. She liked to answer and ask questions, sometimes to the point that made many fellow classmates groan. Even so, she was still well-liked. People often came to her whenever they had problem with a lesson, and she gladly and kindly helped them. He also noticed that she always smiled at him politely on several occasions when their eyes met during classes or when they passed by each other in the corridor. Later, he realized that was just how she was, a very polite and kind being. She smiled at everyone, even at the very old nosy caretaker of the school named Mr. Filch.
During the second year at Hogwarts, he was paired with her for a Potions project. He remembered her coming towards him and introducing herself politely. “Hi, I'm Rose Weasley. I think you picked the same colored ball as I did.”
Scorpius showed her the blue fluffy ball in his right hand.
“Yes... So I guess that makes us partners for this month assignment. I hope we can get along all right,” she added a little bit nervously.
He nodded, then quickly said, “I'm Scorpius. Scorpius Malfoy.”
She smiled and said, “I think we had a few classes together during our first year, didn’t we?”
Scorpius smiled too and answered, “Yeah. We did.”
The group assignment went smoothly. He had to admit that he felt compatible with her. She was smart but not intimidating, she was very open to ideas and criticism, and the most important thing was her warmth and friendliness towards him – something he almost never got from other students. He knew his family’s reputation in the wizarding world, and he was not that naive to expect people to look over that fact when interacting with him. But this girl didn't seem to be bothered by it and treated him as one would treat a normal classmate – something he felt really grateful for. Perhaps that was why he could be a little bit less reserved when he was around her.
By the end of the month, they were awarded 20 points each for their excellent result and presentation of their custom made Doxicide. They were still standing in front of the class, beaming – classmates and professor clapping their hands for them. They turned their heads toward each other and exclaimed at the same time “Good job!” They both grinned and went back to their seats.
Since then, he had been on good terms with Rose Weasley. They were never very close friends but good enough to change Rose's polite smile into a warm and bright smile whenever they ran across each other. Also, since both felt very compatible as academic partners, they often did homeworks and assignments together. Then, starting from the beginning of their third year, Rose occasionally asked him to join her table whenever they met at the Three Broomsticks. He sometime accepted her offer when he was there on his own, but some other times he politely refused when he was with his friends or when she was surrounded by too many of the cheery and loud Weasley-Potter kids. Whenever that happened, she just grinned and nodded casually at him while wishing him a pleasant day.
There was this one time during their fourth year when Scorpius accidentally brought Rose into trouble. It was 7:50 pm in the library. He had just finished doing his assignment on the morphology and behavior of Unicorns, and was about to leave the library, when he noticed that the door to the restricted section was opened. He saw no sign of anybody inside. He then glanced over the library counter and saw no sign of the librarian. He had always been curious of what was inside the restricted section. He took another glance towards the library counter, and when he was sure nobody was there, he carefully went inside the restricted section – trying to make as little noise as possible. He swore to himself that he would just take a brief look at a few book titles, just out of sheer curiosity. He was about to read a title of a book on one of the shelves when suddenly someone called out his name.
“Scorpius! What are you doing there?” He felt like his heart just skipped a beat. He turned around and saw Rose Weasley standing in front of the restricted section entrance. Her eyes filled with a conflicting mixture of anxiety and amazement. In panic, he grabbed Rose's robe and pull her inside.
“Are you trying to give me heart attack?” He asked furiously in a hushed voice. “I was just curious, okay? I saw the door open, and I just sort of went in. Now let's get out before anyone notice. Come on”.
“Wait a minute,” said Rose, also in a hushed voice. “What are you holding there?”
Scorpius stopped and looked down at his right hand in horror. He had accidentally grabbed one of the books from the shelf. He looked around wildly to find which shelf it was.
“Moste Potente Potions....” whispered Rose. “I've heard my mom talk about this book!” she added excitedly.
“Shhhh!!!” shushed Scorpius frantically. “Don't get excited! Help me find where this belongs! I think it's somewhere over there.” Scorpius pointed his finger at a shelf 10 feet away from them.
“Wait!” demanded Rose as she grabbed the book on Scorpius' hand – trying to take it from him. “Let me at least sneak a peek!”
Scorpius looked at her disbelievingly. “Are you mad? Let me.... put it back... to the shelf!” He tried to pull the book away from her. And as the two of them tried their hardest to get the book into their possession, a tall dark figure came creeping from behind one of the tall book shelves.
They froze when they heard the librarian gasping. They were caught red handed – two students inside the restricted section without permission, at the time when the library was supposed to be closed, holding a book which they shouldn't be holding. They looked at each other grimly, knowing what the future awaited.
The following evening, Scorpius and Rose were sitting in one of the class in the cold dungeon while trying to extract mucus from sloth brains without magic. There were five large buckets, and they were still working on their second one. He stole a glance at her. She seemed to be very serious on doing her detention. He thought that maybe she was trying to atone for her mistake. He bent forward and tried to reach for another sloth brain in the bucket.
It was very quiet. All he could hear was the squishing and squirting of brains and the slow dripping sound of mucus. To be honest, he couldn't bear the silence but was too afraid to break it. He was worried that Rose was mad at him for bringing her into this situation. He tried to sneak another glance at Rose, and their eyes met. They both quickly averted their eyes from each other. Then he heard it – a suppressed laughter coming from Rose's mouth.
“Wha... Rose?” He said wearily. Rose looked at him and she burst into laughter. He was confused, but seeing her laugh made him laugh too – nervously though. When finally Rose stopped laughing she said, “What's wrong with you? You were being very quiet.”
Scorpius frowned and muttered “I am usually like that. It's you who was being unusually quiet.” Rose seemed surprised and thought for a moment, “Hmm... really?”
Scorpius nodded and said quietly, “I thought you were mad at me because I dragged you into this mess.”
“No.... it's not like that,” she gasped. “It was my fault too. If I hadn't tried to take a look at that book, we probably wouldn't be here tonight. I don’t know why I did such bold actions just because I was so curious. I guess I do have that Weasley blood running in me,” she jabbered.
“Anyway,” she added in a more serious tone, “I really thought I should take this detention seriously. Maybe that's why I was quieter than usual.”
“As predicted...” muttered Scorpius.
“Sorry, what?” asked Rose as if she didn't hear him.
Scorpius shook his head.
“No.. nothing..” he said, and they both laughed again. The rest of the detention went with a lighter and more enjoyable atmosphere. However, it still took them forever to finish it. At around midnight, they were finally heading back to the main corridor.
“Well, it was sure a long and tiring night,” exclaimed Rose as she stretched her arms up. “At least we got to do it together, right?” she added in a positive tone.
Scorpius smiled and said, “Yea.. that's true.”
They walked up the dungeon stairs. Perhaps because of the cold, they walked really close side by side. Scorpius could feel their robes brushing each other’s. Then suddenly, their hands touched.
When our hands touched on our way back home together
My heart leaped and time stopped
Scorpius pulled away from her unconsciously. He then looked down on his left hand and moved his right absentmindedly to hold it as if trying to not let the sensation slip away. As he did so, he caught a glimpse of Rose doing the same. They stood there in an awkward silence for a moment which felt like forever.
“Umm.. let's head back to our dorm, shall we?” said Rose breaking the silence,
“Yes, we shall,” answered Scorpius still absentmindedly, not noticing the tremble in Rose's voice.
They finally reached the main corridor. They said goodbye and parted ways. Before he continued his walk down to the Slytherin dungeon, his eyes automatically followed Rose's back as she climbed the stairs leading to her dormitories – her long curly auburn hair bouncing lightly.
Scorpius Malfoy snapped back to reality. He dropped both of his hands to his side and sighed deeply. How many years has it been now, Rose? Did you ever notice that I was always there? Admiring you from afar… thought Scorpius.
***
The season of parting is getting closer day by day
I missed you and I felt lonely,
I thought of calling you many times
Scorpius Malfoy exhaled deeply. His head was resting on his left hand, his eyes staring blankly at a piece of blank parchment several inches from his face, his right hand tapping a quill rapidly to the table. He had been trying to write something to Rose Weasley, but still couldn't come up with anything. He was not sure what or how to write a letter that could sum up all of the feeling that had been building up in his chest for the past several years. He wanted to let her know how unbearable this summer holiday was for him not being able to see her or hear her voice.
Minutes passed, and at some point Scorpius finally began to write. The sound of his quill scribbling filled his bedroom, and after a while, he paused to read what he had just written. He scowled more and more as he read and re-read his letter. He grabbed his quill and began to scratch every single word in frustration. This sounds stupid! Why can't I ever get it right? thought Scorpius angrily.
He crumpled the parchment in distress and threw it into a trash bin filled with what seemed to be his other failed attempts. He jerked from his seat and threw himself onto his bed – feeling emotionally tired and defeated.
A sparrow owl with reddish-brown hues on the far corner of his bedroom hooted softly. Scorpius shifted his position reluctantly so that he could face the owl.
“I'm sorry, Boreas. No letter to send tonight either...” he said sadly. The bird hooted again. Its beady eyes stared deeply into Scorpius' as if trying to tell something.
“I know, Boreas, I know....” he added desperately. “I don't have much time left, do I?”
The first of September came and Scorpius Malfoy was standing alone at the buzzing Platform Nine and Three Quarters. He had asked his parents to not accompany him anymore as he was of age already.
Scorpius looked around slowly. The Hogwarts Express looked as strong as ever, ready to carry all this knowledge-thirsty students. Here and there he could hear the laughter and excited chatter between parents and their children, or between friends. He smiled a small reminiscent smile. This would be his last year at Hogwarts.
With a gentle flick of his wand, Scorpius made his belongings float and moved them inside the train. He followed slowly, and as he put his foot on the train door, he saw Rose Weasley coming out from the solid barrier of the platform. She looked as beautiful as ever – her face gleaming with excitement and joy. He gazed at her dearly – eyes following her every movement. Inside his mind he said to himself, Maybe this time, Rose...Maybe this time I'll be able to tell you everything... He took one last good look at Rose then climbed inside the train – his fist clenched in determination.
****
If Scorpius thought that he would be able to spend a good amount of time in his final year at Hogwarts with Rose Weasley, he was clearly mistaken. He had forgotten the fact that he and Rose had different future plans in mind, which caused them to take almost completely different subjects. He barely even saw her on the school grounds or library because of their different schedule.
They had but one class together. Even so, there was hardly any class since students in the 7th year were asked to do a big individual project instead. In some rare chances, he managed to see Rose in the class corridors or in the library. However, she was mostly having a serious discussion with a professor, reading, or doing an assignment very intently that he felt bad to disturb her.
Then on a week before Christmas break, the chance Scorpius had been wishing so badly presented itself. All 7th year students were gathered in the big lecture hall located on the ground floor of the castle.
He was one of the few students who arrived first. He seated himself in the back part of the class. More and more students came, and finally Rose Weasley showed up. She beamed and waved when she noticed Scorpius at the back row, but as usual, she took a seat in the front row seats. Scorpius's lips curved into a smile. It had felt like ages since the last time they interacted at all.
The Deputy Headmaster made his entrance to the lecture hall. He took a brief look around and started to speak. His speech mainly consisted of reminders for the students to hand in a progress report of their individual project or projects a week after the Christmas break and some other formal requirements for graduation. The Deputy Headmaster was still in the middle of his speech when suddenly there was a knock on the door. He stopped speaking and went to greet the guest.
Scorpius could faintly hear the Deputy Headmaster's conversation with his guest. A minute later the Deputy Headmaster announced to the class that an owl with more detailed instructions would be sent to them during the break. He dismissed the class and went to attend his guest once more.
Students poured out of the lecture hall. Scorpius waited until the wave had subsided. He then grabbed his bag and readied himself to head to the library to do some more work before dinner time. When he got up from his seat he was surprised to see Rose still sitting at her desk. She seemed to be writing something. He then heard her talking to her Gryffindor cousin, Albus Potter, “You go ahead, Albus. I just got some ideas for my project, and I need to write it down before I forget. I'll catch up with you later. This won't take long.”
Albus Potter shrugged and ran towards the door. He stopped midway and shouted, “Be sure to come. You don't want to miss this! Our last annual snowfight!!”
Rose chuckled and waved at him. When Albus was out of sight, she went back to her notes.
Scorpius swept the room to convince himself about the situation he was in. There was no one now besides him and Rose in the room. Scorpius felt his heart beating faster and faster. He was finally alone with Rose.
Seconds passed..... Rose was still at her desk, unaware that she was not alone. Scorpius, on the other hand, was trying his best to tame his thumping heart. He closed his eyes and took a very deep breath to calm himself down. As he did so, he could gradually feel the serene atmosphere of the classroom. The loud voices of people outside became fainter and fainter. All that was left was his soft heartbeat and the graceful sound of Rose's scrawls and scratches.
Scorpius opened his eyes, and he was greeted by the most magnificent view he'd seen so far. Sunset was creeping through the window and its brilliant light illuminated Roses figure. For a moment, Scorpius stood breathless. When he finally came back to his senses, he had decided that this would be the perfect moment for him to tell her what he hadn’t been able to tell her. He wanted her to know how much he liked her... how much he cared about her... how in love with her he was.... He wanted her to know everything.
Scorpius took a small step forward. He felt braver than ever, but at the same time more scared than ever. As he took his second step, his heart started to race again, and doubts started to swirl in his head. What if she didn’t feel the same way? Scorpius clenched his fist and move forward again.
What if she only saw him as friend? Scorpius ignored that thought; he could now feel sweat trickling down his face.
What if, worse, she rejected and they couldn't go back to normal....? Scorpius stopped and felt unsure for a moment. He could feel his breath becoming harder... He tried his hardest to dispel all the negative thoughts in his head and continued forward. It was like torture for him. He was so close, yet so far away.
Scorpius felt like his heart would burst at any moment because of the pressure... because of all the feelings that are waiting to be let out. He gulped and took one last deep breath... He finally opened his mouth to speak... His thoughts and heart was racing ecstatically knowing that he would finally be able to free himself from all the painful wondering he'd been doing all this time…when suddenly…the big bell of the east Hogwarts tower chimed from the distance, a chime which marked that school time had officially ended for the day.
The chime broke all the silence and tension in the room. Both Scorpius and Rose jumped in surprise. Rose looked outside the window and exclaimed, “Merlin! I need to get going! Albus is going to nag all night if I don't.” She got up and turned around to get her bag. Then, she finally notice Scorpius standing still behind her – face full of beads of sweat.
“Scorpius?” she said in wonder. “I didn't know you were still here. I thought I was the only one left.”
Scorpius wanted to answer, but his mind was still blank from earlier surprise.
“I'm sorry, but I need to get going now... I'll see you around, Scorpius!” said Rose in hurry, and she was gone in a blink of an eye.
Scorpius didn't know how long he stood there.... The bell was still chiming its glorious chime. A sound finally came out of Scorpius's mouth.
“Rose...” he said weakly, “Wait...I need to tell you something....”
But of course, it was already too late..... All that was left for Scorpius was his painful longing for the one and only girl he had ever had eyes for.
I liked you, to the point i can cry
I was afraid of breaking us that i couldn't say anything
so i could only watch you from afar
I thought about you to the point that my tears would fall
I kept being unable to tell you (these feelings), and time just passed by
Printer Friendly Version
