Chapter 1:

“YOU ELOPED?!”

“Er,” I said, tugging at my shirt collar uncomfortably. Damn Scorpius and his job; we all know he just wanted to get away from the madness that would ensue when this was announced.

Damn me for picking such a wimpyfuck for a husband.

“Yes?” I finally answered and Dominique’s hand flew up and slapped me ‘round the face, the crack of her hand meeting my cheek resonating around the house.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?!” I roared, my hand clutching my face closely, my head bowed low as my back bent slightly to keep out of comfortable hitting range. “ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY DERANGED?!”

“MY FAVORITE COUSIN ELOPED!” She screamed as if she were on a soap opera, “I’M SO UPSET—I DIDN’T EVEN GET TO GO TO A WEDDING AND NOW I FEEL UNLOVED AND AS IF MY PRESENCE AT THE TIME WHEN SHE BINDS HERSELF TO THE MAN SHE LOVES IS UNWELCOME.”

“That was a really long run-on sentence,” Lily commented as she, Al, and Hugo wandered into the sitting room that Dom and I were standing in the centre of. “What’s going on?”

“ROSE ELOPED WITH SCORPIUS!!” Dom screeched, seeming to have made the decision that she would be the one telling everyone in our family, and she would be doing it very loudly and very bluntly.

“WHAT?!” Lily screeched back, her hand flying up and smacking my other cheek just as hard as Dom’s had.

“OH MY GOD.” I cried, my left hand now cradling the left side of my face as my right hand cradled my right. “I AM GOING TO BRUISE.”

“YOU DESERVED IT, YOU DAMN FUCKING WHORE!” Dom screamed dramatically, and I rolled my eyes, sending a thankful smile at my brother who’d aimed his wand at my face and healed both quickly-budding bruises.

“At least it was Scorpius this time,” Hugo commented. “I mean, Rose has been married like five times by now.”

“You married my best friend?” Al asked quietly and I blinked at him, the furious expression at Dom and Lily fading from my face. “And I wasn’t invited?”

“Al—we’re both sorry about that,” I said honestly, “But if we invited you, we’d end up having to invite everyone and my dad would have put a stop to it and Scorpius’ dad would have had a heart attack and we wanted it to be just us and no dumb fancy wedding.”

Dom looked slightly affronted at that.

“No,” Dom said after they all mulled over my words. “No.”

“No what?” Al asked, giving me hurt looks, but allowing me to settle on his lap in the old love seat anyway.

“No, you’re not not going to have a fancy wedding,” Dom clarified, looking at me with the single most scary look I’d ever seen on her painfully-beautiful face.

“What are you talking about?” I asked blankly, “We’re already married. We can’t have a wedding if we’re married.”

Dom and Lily exchanged meaningful looks, and then the wicked grin was on Lily’s face as well.

“You’ll have your wedding, Rose,” my littler cousin promised evilly.

“I don’t want my wedding,” I protested, leaping up from the couch once more and going to stand in between Lily and Dom so they couldn’t start having any ideas then and there.

“And we didn’t want to be snubbed an invite to your wedding,” Dom retorted.

“You’re getting a wedding, Rose,” Lily repeated.

“If it’s the last damn fucking thing we do,” Dom finished.

Oh dear fucking Merlin’s pants.

---

heh. heh. new story. this is written for coley's engagement challenge over at the forums--had this really epic idea (and so i signed up), and then that epic idea fell into a million pieces and i ended up with. . .this. . .yes, i know. poopage. but you know what? it'll either get better, i'll edit it (or i'll promise to edit it and never will), or it'll just stay eh-ish forevermore. i know it's short, but i'm pretty sure the chapters will get longer from here (unlike with my other story. . .). i'll be bringing in more people and dom will be more sadistic and lily will be more second-in-command and hugo will be more sweet and rose will have a wimpy husband, etc.

it would be so great if you reviewed though--i've never been engaged, so i'm just going off of my cousin's engagement (she got married a few months ago), and she was like sadistic. boy am i glad that i wasn't in the actual weddng. don't tell her that though. also, i just really like reviews.

oh, last: ignore the banner. it's subject to change. . .eventually. maybe. possibly. (unlikely)