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Chapter 19 : Learning to say Goodbye
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I started out thinking she wouldn’t faze me, knowing she wouldn’t be able to, but as the week went on she started to wear on my strength. Every time I went down to her cell to talk to her she had me coming more and more to her side.
“So do you think you will ever get out of here?” She asked me one day still believing I was under house arrest.
“Maybe, someday, if the dark lord fell.” I answered calmly but I was losing it on the inside. Why was she getting to me?
“Why do you call him that? I thought only death eaters called him the dark lord?” She asked curiously. I was impressed that she caught that one. She had changed a lot, maybe it was from working in the order or maybe it was from being locked up in this awful place.
“I was raised that way.” Was all I could get out looking at the ground like I was disappointed with myself, or was I just pretending?
“That doesn’t mean that’s who you are.” She stated strength powering her ever word and I looked up. I understood why this was so hard, why I would never be able to finish this mission, why I would never be a real death eater ever again. I was in love with her.
“You really think I could get out of this place?” I asked forgetting my mission, forgetting my old life, forgetting how to lie.
“Jess, you are probably the strongest person I know! Anyone who grew up like you did and is still sane and still understands how to be a good person can do anything.” She stepped towards me and before I knew it we were only inches apart.
“Thank you,” I whispered. Leaning down closer to her a voice came from upstairs.
“JESS!!! GET UP HERE!!! NOW!!!” It was Cooper. I stepped back shocked that someone could have gotten through to me.
“I’ll see you later.” I muttered. And I left the cell locking the door behind me. I reached the kitchen and I still couldn’t speak. I took a seat at the kitchen table and Voldemort began to speak but I didn’t listen to a word, just thinking about the girl who had managed to work a miracle.
It had been a week since the death eaters had established a deadline which now had to be met. I had managed to get a lot of bits and pieces of missions out of her but nothing substantial and I was out of time. I knew no matter what I found out I wasn’t going to tell them anything. I was going to protect her at all costs. Bounding down the stairs, I reached the door of Emma’s prison cell.
“Jess?” Came an unsteady voice from the back of the cell when I opened the door.
“Yea, it’s me.” I responded shutting the door behind me. The only light in the room came from the small window in the door.
“Oh, thank goodness, you scared me!” She said coming over to me. My eyes adjusted to the darkness and I looked at her. She had changed so much since those days at Hogwarts. Her long blonde hair was tied back in a messy bun with strands of hair falling on her face. Her face was dirty but still just a pretty and her eyes gleamed with courage the same way they always had.
“Listen, I can’t leave you here anymore. I love you, Em and I’m gonna get you out of here tonight. I’m going to come with you.” As I spoke her eyes lit up. I told her the truth but only half of it, today was the day, it was the day of the Potter mission. I was going to leave death eaters and I was going to save James and Lily and Harry. I knew I could.
“Really?” Was all she could find to say.
“Yea,” I whispered. Leaning towards her, before I knew it I was kissing her and she was kissing back but it didn’t last.
“WHAT IS GOING ON!??!!!?!?!” A voice screeched from the doorway. Turning around I saw Bellatrix and Peyton standing there with four others. Bellatrix was angry as anything but Peyton simply smiled slyly.
“I think we should discuss this upstairs, don’t you, Jess?” He stated calmly.
“Yea that’s probably smart.” I said putting my hands in my pockets and walking nonchalantly passed the fuming Bellatrix. We exited and shut the door.
“Muffiato,” I muttered than I turned on the death eaters, yelling “WHAT THE HELL?! I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF GETTING IMPORTANT INFORMATION!!!! I ALMOST HAD IT!!!!” I lied flawlessly.
“Sure looked like that, Jess.” Peyton said leading the group up the staircase into the kitchen where the other death eaters were gathered with Voldemort.
When we reached our destination, the gathered silenced and waited for Peyton to speak. “Well, Jess was trying to get information-” but he was cut off by a hysterical Bellatrix.
“HE WAS KISSING HER!!!! I walked down there and all I see is MY fiancé kissing some mudblood in some dark prison cell!!!! This is EXACTLY what I told you would happen!” She finished her tirade and collapsed into a nearby chair.
“How dare you!?” Lestrange got up then and came over to me. “How dare you hurt her!? You little punk! You don’t deserve her at all!!!” Then he turned to Voldemort and his voice became more controlled and serious.
“Master, I beg you to reconsider on the matter of this marriage. The Clancys will be gone soon enough! It seems like every year we are betrayed by one of them!!! And besides that, Jess has already betrayed us, don’t you recall? The first year he went to Hogwarts? He was disowned.”
All looked at me waiting for a response. No one, ever, spoke of when I was disowned. It was only for one year, they wrote me off as a traitor and that’s how I got close with the marauders. But I couldn’t do it, I needed my family, so I caved and soon I was reinstated for committing a much needed murder for the death eaters.
“What did you just say?” I asked Lestrange rising out of my chair and walking slowly across the room. He was nervous, not even his talent could hide that.
“I just, you were and you don’t deserve Bellatrix...” His voice trailed off. I was ready now, I could loose it on him and no one would do anything, I was the free death eater, the only one who could escape that inevitable death.
“AND YOU THINK YOU DO!?!?! YOU ARE A LESTRANGE AND THE LAST THING YOU SHOULD BE DOING IS PUSHING AROUND A CLANCY!?!? WE ARE THE BEST, NEVER WILL WE BE REPLACED, EVER, AND YOU KNOW IT.”
“Jess, calm down now,” Voldemort began, stepping in between the two of us. “I believe that you are not ready to be married, Jess. Lestrange you and Bellatrix will marry. I forsee a bright future for both of you.” In a way I was relieved. I didn’t want to marry Bellatrix, but in another way I felt a shot at my family. I was going to escape, so before I left I offered one more surly comment for good measure.
“Good luck with that one Lestrange, she is a piece of work.” I turned to leave but Voldemort stopped me.
“Wait, boy” I turned, not even able to think anymore. I just wanted to get upstairs and think about what I was going to do. “Did you ever get any information from the mudblood?”
“No” I shot back, my word accompanied by a bit of attitude. I wasn’t even thinking about the random facts I had found from my long time with her. Voldemort didn’t question my lie, instead he spoke to Bellatrix the words that I would never forget for the rest of my life.
“Then I guess you got your wish, Bellatrix, kill her.” I whipped around faster than I could think.
“No, wait, I have information!!!” I shouted in vain. The death eaters laughed cruelly.
“So you have fallen in love with the girl, have you boy?!” Voldemort laughed with them. The only ones not enjoying the joke were Peyton and Cooper who simply glared.
“No, I just-” I tried to counter but was interrupted by Lestrange.
“I told you we would be rid of the Clancys soon!!!” Similar comments followed and I stood silent.
“SILENCE!!!” Voldemort yelled, immediately silencing them, “Bellatrix, make quick work of it. Jess, my office, now.” I followed Voldemort out of the room my mind racing. I could see it now, Emma was waiting in the basement and would hear someone come down the stairs and unlock the door to her cell. With a smile of her face she would call out my name, the last word she would ever say.
It was quicker than I could imagine, by the time we had reached Voldemort’s office I heard it. The noise that tore me apart. I would never forget that scream. Her last breath of life, a scream.
I took my usual seat, sinking down into it heart broken for the first time ever. Little did I know how close the unbearable prison that I was locked away in was to being opened.
I sat, looking unfazed by the whole ordeal, but inside I was losing it. I couldn’t believe the one flicker of light in my dark world had gone out as quickly as it had come. I didn’t do such a great job at hiding my internal turmoil, however, as Voldemort began to speak.
“Jess, don’t look so depressed. You deserve way better than that piece of trash. Anyways you need to be ready for tonight.” I had completely forgotten about the mission for the first time in months. When I didn’t answer he spoke again.
“Clancy,” he began and when I didn’t look up at him he sounded a little bit distressed. “Clancy, I can’t stand to see you like this! Forget the girl! I knew it was the wrong decision to keep you locked up here.”
“I can’t do this anymore, master.” I muttered expecting death but I wanted it. Finally I understood what a death eater really was. We were people who want death in the end, beg for it. I never thought I would, but sitting in my master’s study that night made me want everything to be over.
“I know that.” He said causing me to finally look up. “I am willing to make you an offer. After the mission tonight, I will set you free to live among your friends and the order and when we rise to power you will be honored just like the others.”
I couldn’t believe it, freedom? Was this for real? But I hid my enthusiasm from the dark lord, well this time.
“Why would you let me do that?” I asked with an attitude.
“Jess, I can’t take being the reason for your depression. You, you are truly your father’s son and I can’t put you through this anymore. I ruined his life when I ended it and yours. I know that and I know that I can’t I can no longer put your life in jeopardy. I no longer have the strength Jess.”
“I accept your offer, Sir and thank you.”
“Very good, now go get ready for your mission.” And with that I left the dark lord and went to my room. I packed my things quickly and set the duffel bag on my bed next to me. I sat there in my jeans and black sweatshirt. Sitting there, I knew what I was going to do. This was it my last mission, but my hardest.
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