Chapter 1 : Weasley Revenge Day
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Also for ronhermione4evr’s ‘The Survival Tips Challenge’ : ‘Don't go easy on the Hufflepuff Quidditch team. They're ruthless on the inside.’
Neville Longbottom was not having a good day. However, when Albus Potter was dragged into Neville’s Head of House office by his ear, Neville got the feeling that it was about to get a whole lot more complicated, and a whole lot worse.
Already that day, he had been woken up at 3am by a hysterical first-year who had been scared by the Bloody Baron, which meant that he then overslept and woke up extremely late.
This then meant that he had to skip breakfast – which never boded well – and run down to the greenhouses lest he be late, stomach grumbling all the while. Neville then discovered that two panes of glass were broken in Greenhouse Three, and that the mandrakes were rolling around on the dirty floor, out of their pots and wailing fit to wake Dumbledore. Fortunately, they didn’t knock him out; Neville cast the silencing charm just quick enough.
When he eventually arrived at the right greenhouse - number four - he discovered that his class were Missing In Action, and when they eventually arrived, Neville had grumpily handed out a good fifteen detentions for tardiness before anyone bothered to explain that McGonagall had kept them behind to talk about OWLs.
Over lunch, he had received two crying Hufflepuffs and a hysterical Ravenclaw, despite none of them being in his house. The traumatised students' hysteria fits were caused by the Great Hall flashing a violent purple and green when they had entered it at lunch (which was almost certainly not a deliberate act of vandalism on the part of Filch; Neville suspected that the castle's cleaning varnish had been swapped for purple paint by some rascal, probably of the Weasley-Potter variety).
Now, he had been sat in a slightly comatised state in his office for a precious few calm moments, revelling in the state of silence and wincing when loud footsteps were heard in the corridor beyond. Why would new drama be brought to his doorstep today? I've surely done my duty to the school's wellbeing already, he thought wildly.
No, he was not about to jump for joy when Proffessor Crosby, the new potions master, dragged Albus Potter in and quickly ran out, slamming the door on the way. Neville hated it when people slammed his door – it was a lot better open, looking much friendlier and the way he preferred to be viewed.
Despite the fact that he had just been deposited in Neville's office by a small, cross teacher, Albus did look a little surprised and put out when Neville put his head down on the desk and groaned loudly.
Albus asked slightly warily, “Professor? Are you ok, Neville?”
Against the desk, Neville banged his head once for the boy's informality – he had been trying to get the Weasley-Potters to drop the first name for years – before picking himself up again dejectedly and sighing heavily.
“Erm… why - ?”
Neville put up a tired hand to halt the questions that were surely about to flow. He had no strength to parry Albus' curiosity.
“Why, Mr. Potter? Well, my day was just made that little bit better by Crosby turning you up in this office, with something therefore about to go very, very wrong.”
Albus started to protest but Neville gave him his best, stern, don’t-you-deny-it look and he shut up, much to Neville's relief. It had taken him years as a Professor to develop that look.
“Another Weasley-Potter prank, or was it one by yourself? In fact, why did Professor Crosby bring you up here in the first place?” Neville scratched his head, but Al just frowned and scuffed the floor with his toe, keeping silent, as though hoping Neville couldn't find out what he'd done if he kept stum.
Neville sighed for the multipleth time today (he had sighed so much he had been forced to invent a new word for all the times that he had sighed), moving around to the front of his desk. Crosby was a cross little man and they both knew it, and although it was probably for almost nothing that Al had been thrown in here, the potions master must have had something to convict Albus with.
Albus mentally sighed too. Neville would get it out of him by force of Guilty Conscience sooner or later, so he may as well tell him now.
“He dragged me here for hexing Rose’s boyfriend, Nathan Nott,” Albus scowled. Jonathon was a Slytherin, so of course Al was prejudiced against him. Neville had long ago given up on the house hatred, although he did empathise more with his own House. He was Head of Gryffindor for a reason.
Instead of shaking his head at Albus, Neville raised his eyebrows. “But shouldn’t you respect Rose’s choices, and drop the overprotective act? Save it for Lily." Neville's attempt at humour was a little lame, but Albus still grinned before looking away quickly from his Professor's gaze.
“Um, yeah. That was the reason I hexed him, yeah. Stupid idiot…” He trailed off, muttering to himself.
Something seemed slightly off, but Neville dismissed it. Albus needed a detention, and he would try to be kind to him. No doubt Crosby had already drummed into Albus the potential consequences of the spell.
“Alright. Well, as a detention, you have to help me gather some of the Asphodel plants at the edge of the Forest for half an hour – that’s it.” Neville eyed Albus, who looked immensely relieved, his stance relaxing entirely, before quickly following Neville out of the door and through the winding castle.
As he went down the steps and out into the Hogwarts grounds, Neville looked behind to check Al was still with him - goodness knew the boy was good at losing himself -and saw him furtively muttering to his cousin Louis in the castle doorway.
“Albus!” he called, and the boy came quickly, grimacing over his shoulder at the blonde and befreckled boy – the Weasley traits always seemed come up dominant.
They walked at a quick pace across the lush grounds to the edge of the forest, passing near to the broom shed. From up in his office, Neville had noticed some figures moving towards it, and as he now rounded the corner, he saw who it was. Needless to say, the sight only confused him.
Lily Potter, Harry Potter’s youngest child and only daughter, was slouching on a single spot, having stopped next to the broomshed for apparently no reason. To hear her, she was breathing very heavily, although to look at her, she was barely breathing at all.
She also seemed to be giving the evils to a spot somewhere to her left, whilst greeting her Professor with her arms crossed in a sassy stance.
Neville was immediately suspicious. He was always slightly wary around the younger Weasley-Potters, since everything seemed to explode around them much more frequently than around other students; this scene seemed fairly fishy. Mentally, he ran through the list of various things, people and events this could be, and what could potentially burn nearby (because frankly, finding a random Potter giving thin air the stink eye was not normal). Neville’s suspicions were confirmed, however, when he saw slight foot-shaped depressions in the grass at the point Lily was glaring, and Al grimacing at her behind him.
Raising an eyebrow at Lily in asking for permission, at which she wryly grinned, Neville whipped his arm forwards amazingly fast and yanked the edge of the invisibility cloak, revealing a rather dishevelled James Potter and Fred Weasley. Neville congratulated himself for a moment on being right and uncovering another potential prank.
“Family reunion,” Neville commented before internally sighing. He would have to call Albus back later to do his detention, and take this lot to his office to go through the questioning procedure. What a slog! Of course, none of the Potters were exactly thrilled either, and they whispered behind him as he dragged them back up the long hill, contemplating how much easier life might be without the clan of them running around.
It had, all in all, been a rather uneventful day thus far - at least, it was uneventful compared to what was about to come. Perhaps if Neville was able to get his future self to time-turn and explain the events that were coming, he would have just let the Potters get on with their furtive broom business, and cleared out of there with Al. He could at least have dragged Louis Weasley away from his post in the Entrance Hall when they went past earlier…
But instead, things being as they were, Neville was feeling rather tired when he eventually reached the Entrance Hall. He failed to notice the absence of Louis, and the agitated whispers of the Potters (and Fred) from behind him, thinking only of the steak and ale pie that was rumoured to be on the menu for tonight's dinner.
However, he did turn to the Great Hall in surprise when screams issued from it, accompanied by smashes, bangs and what sounded like a herd of rampaging elephants having a water-fight.
Neville assumed that the water-fighting elephants were actually the Hogwarts students finishing lunch. They were usually, anyhow - but today, this sounded a little different to the usual herd of rampaging elephants having a water-fight.
So he dragged the Potters and Fred into the Great Hall... only to have complete and utter blackness smack him in the face as the door slammed shut. Neville’s last coherent and clear thought was Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder! before all hell broke loose around them.
Students were running around, hitting each other, tripping up, and falling all over the place. Where the crack of light had been, many frantic bodies rushed, only to start shouting in frustration around a buffeted Neville; the door had been locked, and they were all trapped inside.
It was complete and utter chaos. Everyone was screaming and crashing into each other, food was being thrown by some rather silly students, tables had become trip hazards, and only the Ravenclaws had had the sense to stay seated where they were. There were a few professors about, trying to shout over the din, but Neville couldn’t hear himself think, let alone them.
He attempted to wade through the students towards where he thought the high table was – yes, he should have known, but this blackness was very disorientating – only to find his way blocked by a sobbing girl who he accidentally walked into.
She was the first of many, however – Neville was tripped twenty-four times and fell flat on his face seventeen of those. He was cursing the Potters and Weasleys a hundredfold by the time he reached the other end of the hall, because who else could have caused this mess? The Potters and Fred had slipped out of his slackened grip the minute they entered the fray, and nobody had a mischievous side quite like Molly and Arthur’s descendants.
Instead, Neville picked himself up (for the eighteenth time) off the floor, and brushed himself off before raising his wand to the ceiling and shouting “Lumos Rexus!” A burst of light appeared overhead and the students quietened down, stopping where they were. The Ravenclaws looked quite impressed by his spell, George Weasley’s very own superior Lumos spell created purely for this purpose and a huge Weasley's Wizard Wheezes secret. Neville wasn't sure he was supposed to have used it in the presence of others, but it didn't matter now; they could all see again, and that was what mattered.
The light was quite dim, but the darkness could at least be seen through now. Neville muttered “Sonorus,”, intending to say a standard Professory speech about “Please make your way to the exits and don’t panic,” blah blah blah, but instead of his voice, a chilling laugh filled the room.
Neville’s blood ran cold. He would know that laugh anywhere – it haunted his nightmares, and though he had tried for many years to erase it from his memory, his subconscious always returned the sound to him. As the students began to scream again (his ears would never be the same), a billowing figure was seen leaping from the shadowed rafters and down to the floor, before taking off towards the doors.
Before he had time to think about what he was doing, Neville shouted “CATCH THAT BADDIE!” and sprinted towards the doors. He had planned about a millisecond beforehand to say ‘catch that man!’, or ‘catch that ninja!’ or just plain ‘catch him!', but had forgotten to connect brain to mouth before speaking.
He was probably supposed to be telling the students to get under the desks, or to not panic, or something equally stupid - if Voldemort was back, he needed to be caught!
The doors had been flung open by some students and as Neville sprinted towards them, a small army of Gryffindors, along with some other assorted house members, joined together behind him. He saw Professor Chang flash by, slightly gobsmacked, but he had no time to consider anything except the lasting image of black billowing robes whipping through the doors.
And thus ensued the greatest chase in all of Hogwarts' history.
The charging army of Hogwartians ran into the entrance hall, only to see the laughing figure disappear up a staircase. As they tried to follow, the stairs would decide to move, and bring them to a third floor corridor, not sixth, but still Neville pressed on, running up staircases until he got to that floor.
Amazingly, the figure was only just leaving, and led them a merry way up to the North Tower, even climbing up the ladder. Still Neville and the Gryffindors chased, students slowly dropping behind. The remaining group was forced into single file onto the roof outside Trelawney’s stuffy room, as the small, robed figure leaped over a gap ahead of them and ran along the rather lengthy battlements.
Everyone chased after the figure, but Neville was starting to have doubts grow in his head. The circumstances were rather odd, and something seemed very off…
All the stunning spells they had been sending, the ‘Dark Lord’ dodged. He aimed Stunners right back at them, but never hit anyone, and just carried on running, occasionally stumbling over the long, black cloak he wore.
It was quite obviously not Voldemort himself, Neville knew that much by now. And not even a decent Death Eater – they had all been locked up in Azkaban, killed by the aurors, or were too sadistic to leave all those students in the Great Hall alive in favour of running a marathon.
No, it was not someone evil, but then - who?
Neville was trying to organise his jumbled thoughts as he panted along the battlements, over halfway to the end, whilst the hooligan smashed open the highest window on the next tower over; the attic of Ravenclaw tower, if he was correct. The person looked back, face masked in silver, and dropped themselves through the gaping hole.
Neville stopped for a moment, huffing heavily, but not trying to regain his breath. He was trying to form a plan.
The seven Gryffindors, one Ravenclaw and two Hufflepuffs still with him were ridiculously out of breath too, but had questioning looks in their faces as they bent over, looking at him for directions on what to do next as the only professor in the vicinity and leader of the impromptu chase party.
Neville looked down towards the ground, then to the forest. Then back to the stone battlements. Then to the forest again. He slowly smiled as he formed a plan – how simple, really! Yet ingeniously so.
“We,” he told the students, “are going to take a ride.” He grinned. It would have been quite dramatic if several school owls had not then decided to swoop down on him, attempting to find any owl treats hidden on him (there were none). They didn’t often get visitors this high up, after all.
There was then, of course, the problem of summoning them. In order to fly down, Neville needed to get them up here. There was one easy way, of course, but it was not particularly polite…
Desperate times, desperate measures. “Accio thestrals!” he shouted into the wind, flinging his arms out to either side and listening to the faint echoes of his spell bounce down the castle walls until they faded entirely, leaving him with a ragtag band of warrior students clinging to this one hope.
However, Neville was starting to feel a little downhearted when the white sky was still empty moments later. Maybe the Summoning Charm didn’t work on animate objects. Maybe –
“Look! There they are!” The Ravenclaw was leaning over the edge of the battlements, excitedly pointing out the winged horses bearing down towards them, still tiny for the moment, but getting bigger every second. Everyone else looked confused, eyes unable to trace the invisible creatures, but Neville beamed. The old ideas were always the best!
“Alright everyone! If you can see them, get on. If not, either summon your broom quick, or go back the way we came. This is no time for explaining invisible flying horses!” Neville commanded. The Ravenclaw and a Gryffindor clambered on, but the others looked confused, several summoning brooms, and the Hufflepuffs deciding to run after ‘Voldemort’ instead.
Neville hauled himself up and patted his thestral on the nose before looking around nervously. The figure was running across the Northern courtyard below… hundreds of metres below. He had never been very good with heights, not since Uncle Algie dropped him out of that window!
Well, there was no going back now, so he shut his eyes and shouted into the wind, “On the count of 3…2…1… FLY!”
They took off together: one irresponsible teacher leading a good eight excited and adventurous students into the Hogwarts sky, feeling the beating of the great winged beasts beneath them and chasing a potential baddie through the grounds.
The thestrals seemed to know what their riders were trying to do, because they spiralled down in tight, dizzying circles so rapidly it made all their ears pop. The students on brooms descended above them, so as to not get caught on any rampant hooves.
The feeling of freedom entirely took over Neville as they swooped down; he felt dizzied and overwhelmed by it as they all but dropped out of the sky. It brought him back to when he had last ridden a thestral; excited, worried, adventurous… Now, he was at least a little more on top of the situation, and chasing a fake Voldemort this time.
They swept down, down past the thousand years of ancient masonry, passing all manner of scenes in the windows, there for a second in the next were gone. Before the troupe knew it, they were almost at ground level, and Neville pulled up his thestral a few floors above the stone floor waiting to greet any over-eager fliers.
“Shout when you see him!” Neville called over his shoulder, scanning the ground for that blasted black figure. Where could he be? Perhaps he was still inside the castle?
A second later, he had urged the thestral forwards as the figure tore towards the greenhouses. Those were his greenhouses! He would do many things to catch this vandal, and many more to protect his precious plants that were the mark of years of toil.
They swooped down on the elusive person, chasing him right to the edge of the Black Lake, where ‘Voldemort’ nearly jumped in before Neville had a chance to tumble off and snatch him. He was out of breath, panting hard, and filled with adrenaline that started to drain away now he was on the ground and the criminal had been captured. After a good hour of chasing, Neville was at his wits’ end, and his last nerve severely trampled on.
In short, he was entirely not in the mood for niceties.
Neville picked himself up off the rather small figure, and glowered down at him. The person had gasped at this command, and Neville just glowered harder.
“Yes, suspension. You didn’t think you’d get away with that lightly, did you? You just caused a LOT of panic, lots of injuries, and there’s almost certainly something in a wizarding law somewhere about impersonating Voldemort! It is illegal. Or it certainly should be. So you’re lucky you’re only suspended, not expelled!” Neville burst out.
“Oh nooo,” moaned the person, slowly standing up and brushing themselves off, and muttering curses under their breath.
Enough was enough – Neville needed to know who had caused all this chaos. He leaned forward and yanked off the mask, as the figure muttered, “Mum and – ow! – Rose are gonna murder me.”
Neville’s eyes widened in surprise and shock, then he put his head in his hands. The image of the ‘Dark Lord’s face was burned into his eyes already, though he hadn’t needed more than a second to realise who it was.
Of course, Hugo Weasley would pull off something like this.
“Right, you’re coming with me, Hugo Oscar Weasley,” Neville groaned, taking the curly-headed boy by the wrist and starting to drag him towards the castle. Neville got a very strong feeling of déjà vu, from when he had pulled the Potters up the hill to his office just an hour ago.
Of course, Neville was ten times more fed up right now. It had all been a stupid Weasley prank after all; the chasing was for nothing, the complete chaos at lunch had been pointless, and all those terrors that had been re-awoken in him were needless.
“So, Hugo,” Neville said through gritted teeth, as he pulled him upwards, the adventurous troupe trailing behind him, “why, in the name of all that is good and sensible on this earth, did you do that?
Hugo shrugged morosely behind him. “I dunno. I just wanted to show the others that I’m not a stupid baby, I guess. I wanted to do something big, and wild!” His eyes were shining now as he described it, his free arm gesticulating wildly.
Neville’s heart softened a little bit. He remembered feeling like that – wanting to do something, be recognised. That didn’t mean that it was okay to scare the bejeesus out of him – not to mention the rest of the school – but maybe he could afford to make Hugo feel a little less upset about his suspension.
“I know, don’t worry,” he said, more quietly now. He was very much empathising with Hugo, although not yet willing to dismiss his own anger. “But I can’t get you off suspension. And yes, your family will have to hear about it,” he said, turning around briefly to see the boy’s scrunched up face. Well, who wouldn’t be scared in the face of Hermione Weasley when she heard about what stunt Hugo had pulled?
They approached the grand front doors of Hogwarts, and Hugo pulled back to slow them down, but Neville forged ahead, forcing the giant doors open with a flick of his wand.
Inside, the crowd of milling students fell silent at the sight of Professor Longbottom with the pretend Voldemort. Most had been in the Great Hall for lunch, after all, and the people who had dropped off during the chase had come back to tell everyone else what was happening.
Neville was quite used to all attention being on him by now – he was a teacher, a prominent member of the old anti-Voldemort movement, and Head of Gryffindor House, but even he had to admit this was slightly creepy in the way that the eyes all followed him without words.
Hugo walked behind him, chin up and striding out in the glares of the students. He was handling it very well, and Neville was rather surprised until he remembered that Hugo was the son of two of the Golden Trio. Of course he was handling it well – the stupid wizarding paparazzi had been hounding him all his life.
Neville had the vague feeling he was supposed to take Hugo straight to the Headmistress’s office, but he wanted to take Hugo back to his own first, and get a few things straightened out before anything else could take precedence.
They were solemnly stumping down the corridor – which was thankfully free of hysterical students by now, although the portraits insisted on watching – when a babble of noise from inside his own office caught Neville’s attention.
How odd. He paused for a moment, taking in the space, because in fact… the whole corridor looked as though a troll had come charging through!
Hugo looked fairly terrified as his professor glanced around and took it all in. His expression would have made Neville laugh most other days, especially considering he had just chased the same ‘Voldemort’ around the castle, but this was a rather unfunny situation.
Contemplating taking his wand out, Neville went for just entering his study the normal way, and nearly gasped out loud with Hugo did.
This really wasn’t what he had expected.
Fortunately, Neville was very practiced in keeping a calm demeanour, including when in shock. Instead of shouting, or backing up, he simply raised his eyebrows and strolled casually through the crowd to his desk, tugging Hugo with him, and sat down to take out a Suspension Form from the desk drawer.
He started to write Hugo’s name across the top and, without looking up, said “Can I just ask why you have all graced my office with your presence?”
He laid down the pencil and propped his chin up with his fist, slowly looking around the room at what had to be the oddest assortment of people ever to stand before him.
Lily Potter, the Hufflepuff quidditch team, James Potter and Fred Weasley, Rose’s hexed boyfriend, Rose Weasley, Molly Weasley, Albus Potter, Dominique Weasley (holding a golden-haired baby), Albus’s girlfriend with a nasty jinx on her face, Lucy Weasley, Roxanne Weasley, and to top it all off, Louis tied up to Neville’s mini chandelier that had been stuck with a Permanent Sticking Charm to the ceiling (he had tried to remove the tacky fitting many times, to no avail).
Furthermore, all of them (except Dom) were covered in glittery pink goo that Neville chose to ignore for the time being.
It was by far the strangest group of people he had ever had in his office at one time, especially when it was in such a state. Fortunately, his various decorative plants had not been damaged, merely splattered by the sparkly, pink goo.
“I have to admit that this looks like a very interesting tale,” Neville added in a measured tone when nobody answered him.
That was all it took. Every single person started talking at once; even Louis started struggling to make ‘oomph’-ing noises through his gag. Neville grimaced at the wall of noise and put up his hand for silence, and sighed. He would have to do this the slow way.
Why couldn’t they all just take it in turns without him having to order it all?
“Ok,” he started, walking around the desk to the other side, “who did this start with? Hands up!”
Sheepishly, Al put his hand up, along with Rose, and their respective dates. Neville hadn’t expected that.
“Ok, well how did it start then?”
Al and Rose exchanged glances, before she launched into it.
“Well, we caught our girlfriend and boyfriend in a disused classroom together. So it actually started with them…” she shrugged, and Neville understood what she meant.
“Go on,” he coaxed.
“Well, we wanted to get them back for it, you know? But it would be too obvious if I hexed Nate and Al hexed Daisy. So we were going to hex the other person’s date. I managed it without getting caught,” she said proudly, but Al glared at the floor, “except Al was caught, by Professor Crosby.”
Neville nodded, he knew that bit. “And then I brought Al down to do a detention and found you lot,” Neville swivelled to turn to Lily, James and Fred, all of whom were trying to look innocent (and failing).
“Trying to steal and jinx our brooms!” someone called from the other side of the room. Neville turned, and saw the captain of the Hufflepuff Quidditch Team glaring ferociously at the three in the corner.
“You captured our lookout and tied him up!” James shot back angrily.
“Because you provoked us!”
“You started sending spells at us first!”
“No, only because you were trying to free Louis!”
They all had their wands out again, but turned to glare at Neville instead. He glared right back at them.
“Let me get this straight. When you were down by the broom shed,” he gestured to Lily, James and Fred, “you were trying to get their brooms,” he gestured to the team in yellow and black, “and jinx them?”
Pretty much everyone in the room nodded.
“And you set Louis here,” he pointed to the ceiling, “as a lookout for you in case they were coming… but the team kidnapped Louis as revenge, or an exchange to get you to take the jinxes off the brooms when you told them about Louis?”
Pretty much everyone nodded uneasily. The baby in Dom’s arms started to cry, and Neville glanced distractedly at her for a moment before turning to James in exasperation, waving his hands a little in an effort to understand him. “Can I ask why you thought it would ever be a good idea to jinx another teams’ brooms and not expect revenge?!”
James screwed up his face before muttering, “We wanted to beat them in the next quidditch match for sure, but we didn’t think they would do anything to us back. They’re meant to be the nice ones!” He gazed beseechingly at Neville who didn’t alter his steely gaze, but sighed and turned to the rest of the Weasleys. His gaze came to rest on the two who seemed to be the most splattered of all the Weasleys; Roxanne and Molly. They were both positively drenched in the stuff, and had a number of strange burns over them.
They looked in panic at each other, before Lucy timidly spoke up from beside them. “Erm… sorry for the mess?”
Roxanne rolled her eyes. “The goo was an accident. All the Wheezes shop orders were coming through for us to collect, but then baby Marie here arrived in the fireplace for some reason, on top of a box of Easy-Start Firecrackers, and although they didn’t hurt her, the fire had set them off, so she was crawling around bawling when she knocked over some Burn-Away Gel - ”
“- which exploded over everything when James, Fred and Lily ran in, trying to free Louis, with the Hufflepuffs hot on their heels and jinxes flying everywhere!” Lucy said brightly. “Then we lost Marie underfoot, and Molly and Dom fell in through the ceiling - ”
“- only because the fairies magicked it away when I accidentally poked the Fairy Queen!” Dominique cried indignantly. “We were doing quite well until then! And the hole’s not too messy, is it? We tried to repair it as best we could, but we were dodging spells at the same time.”
Roxanne cut in again. “Yeah, but we were trying to stop the burn stuff exploding when Lucy fortunately accio-ed the fairy treehouse thing down, and the fairies were so worried about getting burnt that they turned the Burn-Away Gel into glittery pink goo, so we stopped being burned, and just got… makeovers, instead.” She disgustedly tried to flick some off her hand, but just hit the baby – who, Neville vaguely recalled now he was confronted with her, was actually Teddy and Victoire’s baby girl – instead.
Dom scowled at Roxanne, and muttered “Oi, Victoire’s already going to have my head. Please DON’T make it worse,” and Roxanne scowled back.
Neville just stood there, trying to make sense of it all, as James smoothly cut back in.
“So you see, it wasn’t our fault at all; it was Marie’s, for knocki- ”
“Wait, what?!” Neville exclaimed. “How did the baby get in the fireplace in the first place?!” He looked around, still measuring it up and reasoning out loud.
“She got in because of my fireplace being open to the Floo Network because of your orders…” he pointed at Roxanne and Lucy who looked sheepish, “and knocked over Burn-Away Gel that exploded because of your duel…” he pointed to the bedraggled Hufflepuff Team, James, Fred, hanging Louis and Lily, who looked defiant, “but it turned pink and glittery because you fell through the ceiling, summoned the fairies and they charmed it?” He asked lastly of Molly and Dom, who nodded.
“Is there even any point in asking what Hugo, Al and Rose had to do with this?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
“I didn’t do anything!” Hugo exclaimed, but was silenced by Neville’s look and the Suspension Form still on the desk.
Neville sat back, while they all waited to see what judgement would be put upon them. It would certainly not be a good one, but how harsh was he going to be? At least it was not Professor Crosby who had caught them, but…
He just laughed and laughed, while the Weasleys, Potters and Hufflepuffs stared.
“All right,” Neville chortled, “I’m going to make you clear up this mess, but that has got to be the funniest set of pranks I’ve seen pulled in a long time. It’s like you all decided to get revenge – or just cause mischief – all on the same day! Genius…” He was smiling now, remembering some of the funnier things that had been pulled when he was at Hogwarts, and all the assembled group knew it.
“So, I name this day Weasley Revenge Day from now on, in homage to the interesting events that have taken place today.”
Everyone was grinning in relief now, and Louis was untied and trying to climb down, with no apparent success so far.
“…I’m only going to make you clear this mess up as punishment,” he announced to the grins of everyone, especially Hugo, although Rose was glaring and motioning cut throats at him from across the room.
“But,” Neville called out, “I do think that we should take morals away with us today!” They all groaned, but Neville was trying to maintain his teacherly status that had been partly blown away by his lenience. Giving morals, lectures and lessons to anyone who would (or would not) listen was teacherly, in his opinion.
“Well, I’d say… when committing revenge, don't go easy on the Hufflepuff Quidditch team. They're ruthless on the inside.”
That got chuckles, and he carried on.
“Never do anything against the rules unless you’re sure of the consequences; like impersonating the Dark Lord, or ordering highly explosive substances through a fireplace…” They all smiled or glared at Roxanne and Lucy, who seemed indifferent.
“And never underestimate what coincidence is going to throw at you… oh, and be careful when poking fairies, too. That’s a good one.”
They all laughed again, and filed past quickly to get out before Neville changed his mind. James even tried to high-five him, but Neville raised an eyebrow at that and crossed his arms. James left quickly after that.
All was silent in the Head of Gryffindor’s office. It had been scourgified (mostly by the Hufflepuffs), Dom was going to the Headmistress’s office to return Marie to Victoire and Teddy, and Rose was shouting at Hugo in the corridor beyond.
Neville sat down, humming to himself, and chuckling as he thought over the day’s events again. It had turned out to be quite a good day after all, although he had no idea what had happened to those Herbology classes he had missed because of the chase on Hugo. They could be worried about later.
He was just taking a sip of his tea when a horrible thought occurred to him, and he almost spat out his mouthful onto the desk:
If he had just named this day Weasley Revenge Day, then what was going to happen next year?
*A/N: Hey there! Just to say thanks to Huffleherbs and ronhermione4evr for the challenges that inspired this one-shot. It wouldn’t be here without them :)
Also, this chapter is disclaimed.
Hope you enjoyed it!
Edited August 2012.