15-year-old Lily Evans and her best friends, Jessica Alderez and Charlotte Selene, headed down to the Great Hall, still fussing over their hair.
“Jess, you really should make more of an effort with your hair. It looks more like a nest than a ponytail,” said Lily, eyeing her friend’s messy jet-black hair.
“Yeah, Jess,” chimed in Charlotte, giggling, “you’d better hope the mail doesn’t come early!”
napped Jessica, “you guys are just jealous of my beautiful
looks. Plus, Charlotte, blonde hair and blue eyes are so
“Neither is black hair and hazel eyes,” pointed out Lily, “but on the other hand, green eyes-no-startling green eyes and red-no-vibrant red hair are slightly more…well, unusual, not to mention highly beautiful.”
Suddenly a voice came floating across the hall.
“Yeah, Evans, I’d have to agree, but really, you shouldn’t brag.” James Potter and Sirius Black casually sauntered over to the girls.
“I agree,” said Black seriously, “I never brag. Just look at this handsome face!”
“Sure, Black,” retorted Jessica, “whoever told you that was seriously misinformed. Take a look in a mirror, just don’t die of shock.” And with that, she turned and walked into the Great Hall, closely followed by Lily and Charlotte.
“Did I say something?” Sirius asked James in mock innocence.
James shook his head and began pushing his friend into the Hall, to join Remus and Peter.
“Hey, guys,” said Lupin, “what took you so long?"
“We ran into Evans and co.,” replied James, piling sausages on his plate.
“Padfoot, are you okay?” asked Lupin, waving a hand in front of his friend’s face.
Sirius was staring up the Gryffindor Table with a glazed expression on his face.
James followed his gaze and found himself looking at the three girls they had encountered earlier.
“Hey! Lily’s my catch!”
Sirius snapped out of his daydream.
“Not Lily, you idiot! Her friend. The messy black haired one. The one who told me to take a look in a mirror.”
“But she insulted you!”
“Exactly. She’s a feisty one!”
Moony rolled his eyes. “How long have you had the previous girlfriend? And how many this month?”
“Hey! Twelve, but I’m a free man again!”
“Yeah,” said James, “since Yesterday!”
“What’s her name again? J…Joanne? Um…”
Lupin sighed. “Jessica, Padfoot, Jessica Alderez. Honestly, she’s one of Lily’s best friends!”
“ That’s even better!”
“Good one, Jess!” Charlotte gave Jessica an appreciative pat on the back.
“Yeah,” complained Lily, “they’re so full of themselves. But I don’t think you should have said that, Jess.”
“Why?” exclaimed Jess, rounding on Lily. “It deflated his head a little.”
“Because Black’s staring at you like he’s never seen before, which I’m sure he has, judging on the amount of girls that were with him on the train.”
Jessica snorted. “I’m not as gullible as those girls. Besides, you’d have to be damn right stupid to fall for Potter or Black.”
“Hey!” a large group of girls shot Jessica a filthy look before turning back to drool over Black.
Charlotte giggled and went back to her breakfast.
“Come on, let’s go.”
The three girls got up and began to head towards the doors.
“Since when did this heat start?” complained Charlotte.
“Dunno,” said Jessica, “but I’m really hot.”
Spotting black on her left, who was eavesdropping on their conversation, she leant over and whispered, “literally!”
Black swivelled around, clutching a glass of iced pumpkin juice.
“I can fix that for you.”
And, before Jessica had time to register what he’d said, Sirius had poured the entire contents of his glass down her back.
There was silence in the Great Hall as Jessica let out a loud squeal.
She snapped around to look at the table where the teacher sat, and was surprised to find that there were none there. Remembering that they were at an urgent meeting, she shrugged, and with that, she launched herself at Black, pinning him to the ground and sitting on his stomach.
“Charlotte!” ordered Jessica, “Gimme that jar of honey!’
Charlotte was standing there, looking scared, but, nevertheless, cautiously handed her the jar of honey.
“Sirius sodding Black! You are the foulest creature to walk this earth!” Declared Jessica loudly, and preceded to pour the honey over a very, very stunned Black.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, a girl screamed:
“Hey! Don’t dis Black! He’s cute!” At these words, the entire population of Hogwarts girls launched themselves at the Gryffindor table, attacking everyone with various foods. Charlotte shrieked and dived under the table, as a Fully Fledged Food Fight began.
Lily was just about to throw a handful of squished strawberries at James when McGonagall burst through the doors, closely followed by the rest of the staff, going unnoticed by the students.
Her eyes scanned the Hall and found the source of the commotion: Jessica Alderez sitting on top of Sirius Black, currently pouring chocolate milk over his food-splattered face.
McGonagall set off a couple of ear-splitting bangs with her wand, and the school froze in mid fight.
Jessica quickly got off Black as Lily, Lupin, James and the rest of the school dropped the food they were holding and Charlotte crawled cautiously out from under the table.
“POTTER, BLACK, LUPIN, PETTIGREW!” yelled McGonagall, “UP TO DUMBLEDORE’S OFFICE, NOW! And for heavens sake, Black, get off the floor!”
She waited as the marauders filed out of the Hall, James rubbing his glasses to get off the marmalade Lily had thrown at him and Sirius attempting to rid his face of honey.
ALDEREZ, EVANS, YOU TOO!
Lily began to storm out of the Hall as Jessica grabbed a still-scared Charlotte by the tie and dragged her out too.
The marauders, Charlotte, Lily and Jessica were standing in a line in Dumbledore’s office, staring guiltily at the floor. Dumbledore was pacing before them, apparently amused by their antics. McGonangall was standing furiously in the corner, her nostrils flared.
Dumbledore stopped in front of them.
“Jessica Alderez, you have a talent for trouble.” He paused, nodding at the marauders. “Same goes for you four.”
“Mr Black and Miss Alderez, it has come to my knowledge that you two began this food fight. As a result of your actions, you two shall serve two weeks detention, along with the one month’s worth of detentions that I am handing out to everyone in this room. You shall all clean up the Great Hall tonight, and you can leave your wands behind, as you will not need them for this task,” concluded Dumbledore, a smile playing at the corner of his mouth.
They all opened their mouths and began protesting, but Dumbledore offered them two months of detentions instead of one, an offer which they hastily rejected. They were dismissed and quickly filed out of the room.
“That will be all,” said Dumbledore, still looking highly amused, “Thankyou, Minerva, and please let everyone know that lunch and dinner will be eaten in the Common Rooms.”
McGonagall nodded curtly and left the office.
“Thanks, Jess,” said Lily sarcastically, biting her lip. “You got us all in detention!”
“Don’t look at me, look at Black!”
Black rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Yeah, ‘cause everyone loves to look at me.”
“No, thanks,” piped up Charlotte, “I don’t like honey-coated guys.”
Sirius put one arm around Lily and the other around Charlotte, leaving honey and a mush of food on their uniforms.
“Come on, guys! You can’t pretend you didn’t enjoy yourselves,” said Black, clearly enjoying himself, as Lily and Charlotte struggled to get free.
At 7 o’clock, the girls were joined by the marauders on their way down to the Great Hall, to begin their cleaning.
McGonagall, who checked that they had no wands, greeted them.
“This is all your doing, and you’ll clean it up.” McGonagall locked them in the Hall, leaving them with mops, brooms, sponges and several buckets of soapy water.
There was a long silence as they stared at the disgusting mess in the Hall, broken by Charlotte’s feeble “ew.”
“Do you guys realise that staring at it won’t clean it up? Besides, I have better things to do than clean up until midnight,” said Jessica, her hands on her hips, bringing everyone back to earth.
Sirius stepped in front of her, and, with a deep bow, said, “As you wish, Your Highness!”
Ten soapy buckets of water later, McGonagall let them out of the now pristine Hall, and sent them up to bed.