Chapter 11 : Decisions
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Draco sat down on the bed, and knew that it was late and that he should try to sleep, but he felt wide awake and knew that there was no point. He knew that Hermione and Weasley had been having trouble, but until that evening he hadn’t realized quite how bad it had gotten. .
The ending of the war had done more than just rid the world of Voldemort. He knew that he wasn’t the only one who had changed, after all, wasn’t the evidence of that right there in front of him everyday? Not to mention that he knew that if it hadn’t been for that, it probably would have taken Granger even longer to come around? And Potter... well, he didn’t even want to go there. Even after all of this time, it was still hard for him to accept, to have really let it sink in, that it had been Harry Potter who had saved his life. And not because there was anything in it for him, but because he had simply wanted to do the right thing.
Then there was Weasley. As much as Draco hated to admit that he understood where he was coming from, he did. However, it still didn’t excuse the way that he was treating her, or any of them. He would have liked nothing more than to slug him in the nose, but he knew that wasn’t going to help the situation.
It was ironic, he thought, how much they seemed to have in common after all of this time, and how, if hadn’t been so stupid and prejudiced and worried about what people thought, he might have actually have been able to have her as a friend. Sure, she said she could be his friend now, but that wouldn’t change the past; right all of the wrongs that he had done.
Why had he done them, really? Was he really so worried about what his father would have said? The answer to that question came to him in an instant. Yes. That’s why, even now, only when he was in the dark and truly by himself was he able to think about it.
Knowing that attempting sleep was useless, he stood up slowly, stretched and walked to the common room.
“Thank you for being there for me tonight,” Hermione whispered, as though she were waiting for him. “I didn’t really get a chance to tell you earlier.”
“I... it’s what I needed to do. It’s what you deserve,” he said, realizing at that moment that that was truly why he had done it. She definitely deserved more than what Weasley had been giving her, and it was a shame that it had taken him this long to see it for what it really was. “He was completely out of line, you know.”
She hesitated for a moment, and sank back into the cushions on the sofa.
“Do you... do you ever wish you could go back in time and change things?” she asked. “Like, if you had the chance, the things that you would do differently?”
“I’ve given up on that thought, due to the fact that I can’t, and even if I could, where would I start?”
“You’ve... you’ve really changed, Malfoy,” she said, throwing in his last name just to get a rise out of him. It didn’t have the same feeling as it once had, though.
There was an awkward silence in the air, and she realized that, as much as she had dreaded it in the past, she wanted nothing more at that moment than for Draco to take her in his arms and kiss her. Among other things. It was hard, dealing with that emotion, considering she had resisted so many times in the past.
She glanced at him, out of the corner of her eye and debated on whether or not she should try to make the move herself.
At the exact same moment, Draco was having the same feeling, except that it was in a different way. He thought about the times that he had kissed her before, and how it had been in a moment of passion, fiery tempers, or to prove a point. They had fought, he kissed her. She called him names, he kissed her. What would she do if he did it because he wanted to rather than just allowing it to happen? But before he could do anything, he realized that she had moved so that she was right next to him. He was unable to move for a moment, due to the shock that was choosing, of her own accord, to talk to him, to be next to him.
Without further ado, he met her lips with his, pulled her into his arms. At last she was able to let the feelings from earlier in the evening disappear and lost herself in Draco’s arms and embrace.
She gazed at him and whispered, “I want you to make love to me.”
He shook his head. “You... you want me to what?”
“You heard me,” she whispered, staring into his eyes. “I want you to make love to me.”
“What has gotten into you? You’ve never had that reaction before!” he said, half surprised, half happy at her reaction.
“All the talk about going back and changing things. Maybe I can’t change the past, but I could definitely change the future.”
At that moment, she didn't care what happened. All she knew at that moment was that there was no other place than she wanted to be than in Draco’s arms. Which felt really weird, but at the same time, it felt so right. He picked her up in his arms and she asked quickly, “What are you doing?”
“I’m not going to shag you here on the common room floor,” he said. “I'm going to make love to you in my bed.”
The thought terrified her and excited her all at the same time.
She wrapped her arms around his neck once again and held on tight. His room had never seemed so far away.
She wanted to, and was afraid of it all at the same time. She tried to shut off her brain, to make it simply shut up and think only about the way that he made her feel.
He laid her on the bed and stared down at her, taking in the sight of her, illuminated by the moonlight streaming in the windows.
She started up at him, noticing for the first time the way that the moonlight seemed to highlight his pale skin, which made him look quite handsome, attractive and to be honest, downright sexy.
She was surprised when he only silently joined her upon the bed, and gazed over at her, without trying to make a move. This once again confused her. Every time she thought she had finally figured him out, he went and did something completely different. It definitely seemed out of character for him, but at the same time, it seemed just like something that he would do.
As her eyes continued to adjust to the darkness of the room, she got a chance to really look around. The only time that she had ever been in here was the night when she had tried to apologize and hadn't really paid attention to what the room looked like. It was definitely different from the bright feelings and colours that Gryffindor house had, but it was nice, if you liked green and silver.
It had a more sophisticated feel about it that was pleasing to the eye.
She could feel his eyes on her, but she was not ready to look back just yet.
A shiver ran down her spine as he gently traced a finger down her arm.
“Relax,” he whispered, gently brushing her hair away from her eyes. He brushed her forehead with his lips, causing her to gasp involuntarily, he definitely had a way with his lips, she thought, and gave a shiver.
Misreading her signals and assuming that she was cold, Draco muttered an incantation and the room became warmer almost instantly.
“When did you learn how to…” she asked in amazement.
“I’m not a complete idiot, Hermione,” he said. “But do you really want to hear about the incantations that I know?”
If she had allowed her brain to have any input at all, it would have said, “Yes”. But she hadn’t given it permission to start thinking again.
He had a point; a very good one at that. He picked up where he had left off, starting at her forehead, and kissing down the side of her face.
“Kiss me,” he whispered, and she immediately complied. Up until now, she had only kissed him when he had kissed her and she felt very awkward at trying to imitate what he was doing to her.
“Don't ,” he whispered, making her immediately pull back, as though he had struck her. She couldn't believe that she would already messed up.
“No,” he said gently. “You don't have to do what I do, just whatever you want to do. You don't even have to do anything at all.”
She supposed that was supposed to make things easier, but it didn't. Experienced was definitely not a word to describe her knowledge.
She touched his hair, which seemed to be the only thing she really knew what to do.
She got a warm feeling in the bottom of her stomach and knew that he was good. Really good. She figured she would never blushed as much in her life as she had been blushing in the past week.
He grinned at her, and she realized, that when she was not busy hating him or he was not busy calling her names or trying to hex her, that it was not quite as arrogant as she had always thought.
“Does my hair really entice you that much?”
“Now who’s changing the subject?” she murmured, lost into her thoughts. Well, her thoughts and what it was that he was doing to her.
“You never cease to amaze me, Hermione Granger,” he said, pulling her close him and he could feel the small of her back arch against his hand.
She had never felt so awkward in her life, but at the same time, never felt so wanted. There was just something about Draco Malfoy that made her full of contradictions and she didn't know where to start to try to sort them out.
He slipped the first few buttons through the button holes until he was able to slip her nightshirt off, revealing her smooth, milky skin concealed by a lacy black bra.
He arched his eyebrows and glanced at her. “Is this what you usually wear when you go to sleep?”
She blushed, and it ended up covering her entire body. “N..no. I thought maybe...”
“It doesn’t matter,” he said. “I’m glad I get to be the one that gets to see it, though.”
He was mesmerized by the way that her heart seemed to be pounding so hard that it caused her breasts to rise up and down, causing him him to shift uncomfortably as his own clothing was becoming increasingly tighter and tighter.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered, “even if you may not think so.”
He began to unbutton his own shirt and it too fell to the floor.
He leaned forward and began a trail of kisses down her neck, and allowed his lips to linger when he reached her collarbone.
“If you want me to stop,” he said “I need to know now. I don’t want... I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want there to be any regrets.”
“I won’t regret it,” she whispered, “I promise.”
“Please,” she whispered. He lifted his head only slightly enough to ask, “Please what?” he teased.
“Please... don’t... stop.”
“Oh, you have no idea,” he said. “I have no intention of stopping. Not for a very long time.”
It was that moment that she decided that Draco had been right. Things happened for a reason that they were supposed to. She also knew that nothing had ever felt so right, than to be here, exposing not only her body to him, but the part of her soul that she had yet to share.
He propped himself up on his elbow and looked deep into her eyes, finding himself falling victim to to her hazel, doe like eyes.
He knew that this was his chance to prove, not only to Hermione, but also to himself, that he had been telling the truth. He didn’t want to hurt her. He had seen over these past few months how hurt she had been because of... he didn’t even want to think his name. There was no way that he wanted to cause her that same pain.
He knew right then and there that he wanted to make love to her, and he wanted to make love to her like she had never been made love to before, though he had no idea, and certainly didn’t want to know, what ways she had been made love to before. To be honest, he wanted everything to be new, and he knew it was strange for him to want to feel that way, because, if anyone were to ever find out about it, there was no telling what kind of rumors would start, but at the same time, he didn’t really care. All he knew was that she deserved the best, and it seemed that she hadn’t been getting that. He wanted to show her that not all guys were bad, and that some of them, he included, were capable of bringing a fantasy to life.
Hermione’s brain was telling her one thing, while her body was telling her something else. Never had she hated the contradictions more than she did right now. Each was pulling her so strongly in different directions that she didn’t know what to do. Was she... was she really here, right now, laying naked under the watchful eye of Draco Malfoy, of all people? All thoughts of that disappeared from her mind as Draco begin to make her feel as she had never before - wanted, and almost - loved.
A/N: This is going to be the end of Part 1. When I post up the next chapter, that will be the beginning of Part 2. I hope that you have enjoy reading up to this point so far as much as I have enjoyed writing it so far.
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