Chapter 9 : Differences
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Hermione had managed to avoid Draco for the rest of the afternoon, ever since he had finally put her down. Then the evening rolled around and they were once again together alone.
Draco was leaned over his work, and for once, Hermione was the first to speak.
“I’m sorry for kicking you earlier. I didn't mean to make such a scene.”
He kept his head down for a moment because he literally had no idea what to say. She had him completely baffled. Sometimes she hated him. Sometimes she kicked him. Then sometimes she seemed to actually maybe, like him.
She knew he had heard her, but it bothered her that he didn't answer. In fact, it downright infuriated her. How dare he act like that.
He could feel her staring at him. Good, he thought. Let her see how it feels.
He looked up suddenly, scaring her when he slammed the book.
“You didn't like it too much, did you?” he asked, when she jumped.
“What are you being mean to me? You’ve been so nice lately…”
He cocked an eyebrow. “So you are finally going to admit it?”
“I never actually denied it.”
“But you did. Over and over again.”
“You were right, you know,” she whispered, practically in his face.
“That you are a damn good kisser,” she whispered, meeting his lips with hers.
He pulled back slightly to gaze into her eyes.
“Why do you do this?” he whispered.
“Do what?” she asked.
“This,” he said. “Change your attitude like turning on and off a faucet. You hate me one minute, then the next you are throwing yourself at me.”
“I never threw myself at you,” she protested, but he stopped her.
“What do you call this then?” he asked, pointing at the two of them.
“I call it - you taking advantage of me, is what I call it.”
Draco snorted. “Taking advantage of you? Hardly.”
“Maybe I want you to take advantage of me,” she whispered, so low he could barley hear her. For a moment, he didn't think he had heard her correctly.
He tiled his head to the side and started.
“I think I am going mental. I could have sworn I just heard you say you wanted me to take advantage of you.”
She stared at him, biting her lip so hard she drew blood.
“You did. I did - I mean…”
“So you did…” he trailed off.
Her face lost all colour at that moment. Was he planning on - no, he couldn't - could he?
Her heart hammered in her chest as he moved closer. What was he going to do, she wondered.
He leaned into her ear. “Did you want me to do this?” he whispered, brushing his lips across her cheek toward her ear. “Or this?” as he gently nibbled he rear. “I know you certainly didn't mean this, though,” he finally whispered, as he kissed down her neck. She started to squirm and he couldn't tell if it was a good squirm or a bad squirm.
“You certainly didn't mean anything like that, did you?”
She swallowed, because at that moment, she didn't’ know what she wanted. Her heart was pounding so hard, she was sure that he could see it.
“You don't have to be afraid, you know,” he said, with a mock roll of his eyes.
She arched her eyebrow apprehensively. Then, as though he could read her mind, which she figured that he probably could, he said “I know I probably haven’t given you much of a reason to. I never gave anyone.” he shook his head. “I don't know why Harry saved me. I didn't deserve it. He should have let me die.”
“How can you say that? You don't deserve to die.”
“Oh no? What purpose do I have left? My parents are dead. Hell, my whole family’s dead. I have no friends left. there is nothing”
For the first time, Hermione’s heart truly went out to him. He had been mean to them, sure. Downright cruel, even. Except... He had spared their lives instead of turning them in. That had to say something about him. She gently put her hand on top of his and said, “I can be your friend, Draco.”
“Isn’t it just a big late for that?” he said, and her face went red. He was so infuriating!
Then his face went back to serious right in front of her eyes.
“Why did you say you wanted me to take advantage of you, Hermione?”
“I…I don't know.”
“Yes, you do,” he said. “You said it, so you had to mean something about it.”
“I am …I just want…”
“I'm sure,” he said. “You're trying to make Weasley jealous, aren't you? Even after that scene, you just can't let go.”
“You know something, Malfoy? You are a real pain in the ass.”
“Oh, so we are going back to last names now, huh, Granger?”
Somehow, his saying that, like that, really hurt, more that she would have thought possible.
“You really are a user, aren't you? You are probably just trying to get me to fall for you, so you can throw it in Ron’s face.”
He was silent a moment. It seemed to be the only thing he was doing these days.
“That isn’t me, Hermione,” he said finally. “I think you are the one trying to get back at Weasley. You are smart, cute, and sweet - when you want to be. But I don't want to be used. If you want to kiss me, I want it to be because you want to me - Draco Malfoy. Not because you want Weasley to get jealous and try to duel me over you. I don't want you to tell me to take advantage of you just to be able to say I did. There may be some guys out there who do, but, contrary to popular belief, I'm not like that.”
There was something about the way that he said it, but his words made her stomach flutter. Maybe it was because he had said she was cute - or maybe it was because he wanted to kiss her - and more. With that thought, her stomach literally flip-flopped. She remember his lips on hers, and the other places. How had he learned those things? He realised she didn't want to know.
She swallowed and looked him in the eye.
“I want you to kiss me,” she said. “You, because I want you to - no one else.”
“Are you sure?”
She nodded. “Yes,” she said, for the first time realizing that she really did mean it.
Ever so slowly he brought his lips to hers, but she met his full force.
He began to repeat his moves from a moment ago, but more gently this time.
Her mind was telling her to resist, but her body was telling her to give in. if anyone had told her a year ago, hell, even a month ago, that she would be kissing Draco Malfoy - again! - and enjoying it! - she would have said they were absolutely mental.
“What else would you like?” he asked, startling her and causing her to jump.
Blushing furiously, she shook her head. “Nothing.”
He arched an eyebrow questionably at her.
“Are you sure? Because you know, I could always…”
She shook her head, more determined this time. She couldn't let herself give in, she couldn't it was bad enough that she would kissed him - again! - and enjoyed it. If she allowed him to continue, who knew what might happen?
He pulled back once again and looked at her.
She hated that every time he looked at her, she nearly fell apart. Luckily she was a little better at hiding that fact.
Why couldn't Ron look at her like that? Why couldn't he make her feel like that?
She hated how her mine kept drifting back to Ron, over and over again, even though she knew in her heart that it was over between them. That was what confused her the most.
Draco continue to started at her so intently that she felt he could see her soul. And in fact, he probably could.
Then suddenly, a question struck her mind and she wanted to ask so bad, but felt awkward and embarrassed at even thinking it, much less wanting to ask it.
“What?” he asked, keying in to the fact that something was on her mind, something, and by the way she was acting he figured out what it was. He smiled to himself, thinking it was cute she wanted ask such a thing, and even cuter the way she blushed when confronted with it.
He decided to help her out just a bit with it, but that didn't mean much.
Not to mention that he was slightly curious about her answer, anyway.
“Are you a virgin, Hermione?” he whispered, casing her eyes to get wide and her jaw to drop.
“Why are you.. You can't ask me that!”
“Why not? He asked. “You wanted to ask me.”
“So you can read my mind! That's why you…”
“Now, now, Granger,” he said, tsking his tongue. “I can't read your mind. But I can deduce some information from it. There’s a big difference.”
“My ass,” she hissed, her temper flaring up again.
His eyes immediately drifted to that area of her body and she was seething.
He held out his hands in an attempt to surrender.
“I’m sorry. But there is one thing that we need to get straight here. And that's the fact that you are going to have to control that hot little temper of yours.”
"The first thing? Are you trying to tell me that there are more?”
He tapped his chin and looked at her. “There could be. I haven’t really decided yet.”
“You haven’t decided? Since when do you get to decide everything?”
He feigned a hurt look.
“I never told you that you couldn't make any decisions.”
She shook her head. “What decisions are you talking about?”
“It can be anything you want it to be about.”
She stood up and stomped her way over to the door way. “I have had enough for one night. I am going to bed.”
“Well, la-di-dah. Please don't allow me to disturb you.”
She clenched her hands so hard that they turned white.
“You. Are. The. Most. Infuriating. Boy. I . Have. Ever. Met.”
“That's nice to know,” he said calmly, leaning back in his chair.
“Why?” her eyes narrowed into slits.
“Because it means you like me.”
“Ugh!” she shouted, slamming the door.
Once she had left, he chuckled to himself. He hadn't felt this light hearted since… he couldn't remember, to be honest. Maybe he had never felt quite this light hearted.
It was a good feeling.
Hermione had never felt more awake in her life. He was evil, she decided. Maybe not in the same evil death eater way he had been before, but he was still evil.
What kind of game was he trying to play her for - and asking her if she was a virgin. How dare he try to turn her own question on her. At least she hadn't answered him, but then, he hadn't answered her either. What was that supposed to mean? And why had he asked her in the first place? He couldn't want to… then a thought struck her. Did he? Because, she was not sure that she didn't want to.
She didn't know why she felt so awkward about the whole situation, after all, she hadn't said anything - yet. Problem was, the only other time she had been asked that had been even weirder, and definitely hadn't had the best outcome, as she looked back on it. In fact, that was probably when their relationship had started to deteriorate.
Meanwhile, Draco was having some remembrances of his own .
“It looks nice that way.”
“You didn’t deserve to die.”
Why did such small sentences seem to mean so much to him?
Why did it always seem that when he couldn't sleep, he ended up in the same place as the one person who had caused it in the first place? It almost seemed like it was planned, but who would have planned that?
After what seemed like hours, but was really only about forty five minutes, Hermione came back to the common room just like Draco had known that she would. She was starting to become very predictable, and he was beginning to enjoy it.
He tried playing off nonchalantly, and smiled at her.
“Back so soon?”
“It was... it was warm in there. I have trouble sleeping such warm conditions.”
His eyes drifted to the blanket she had wrapped around her body, almost as though it held security for her.
“Warm, huh? Next time I get too hot, remind me to wrap in a blanket. Maybe it will help cool me off”
She finally had enough. She reached over and slapped him, and it was not until he grabbed his cheek that she realized what she had done. His eyes blazed fire and for moment, she was terrified.
He grabbed her arm and her entire body went rigid.
Had she crossed the line one time too many? She was afraid to find out. He pulled her next to him, so tight and close, she could feel his chest moving in and out as he breathed in and out.
He brought his lips to hers once again, and for the first time, she didn't even try to resist. He knew she wanted it as much as he did, and she knew he wanted it as much as she did.
She kissed him back with more passion than she had previously showed, causing him to deepen the kiss even more, if that were at all possible.
A/N: Alright, so much as much as I hated to, I decided to stop this chapter here :) Now, now, before you all hate me, I promise there is more, much much MUCH more, on it's way. I just can't resist ending on a cliffhanger. Not only do I think it makes a more exciting read, but to be honest, it helps me write better also.
And, before you mention it, yes, I know the way that this kind of bounces around may seem weird, out of character, and who knows what else. But to me, it's kind of how things happen. Denial then giving in, and over and over.I'm also sort of playing on the whole idea of, when they are in front of others they have one way they're trying to act, but when they are alone... so reviews tell me what you think of the idea :)
Thanks for reading!
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