Not sure how many more properly witty disclaimers I can come up with, and as am tired, really not down for trying. So basically, this is all J.K's, enjoy xD.
Woke up. Stumbled from bed to mirror. Even in sleep muddled state, looks really rather spectacular. High-fived self. Top work Dominique. Decision to leave hair long totally paying off. Even if friends were all like ‘Cut it off Dom, it’ll look way hot, trust.’ I knew better. Sort of thing best left to those less stunning than self (or possibly just Annah.) Besides, own hairdresser temperamental at best, ideas above his station. Seems to think he knows better than self, when obviously doesn’t.
Realised after more minutes of gazing at mirror that had absolutely no idea what was going to do with day. Day, after all, was Friday. Friday v. overrated day in own opinion. Biggest tease of all the days. Friday is a toy, a bit on the side, a glowingly tanned cabana boy just waiting to be jumped. While normally all in favour of such characters, am distinctly unimpressed with Friday. It being all like, almost weekend time, except then totally not at all - until the very end of the day by which point in time am normally far too tired to even be slightly bothered with going out, seducing the unwilling and generally acting own age/disposition.
For a tiny, if unfairly leggy, person, Annah possessed ridiculously loud voice.
Scowled. Glowered (menacingly). Glared. Scowled some more.
“It’s, 9.30 Dom, which means you’re like - at least half an hour late. And that means, Harry’s actually going to kill you.”
Considered this for a moment. “Nah, he won’t.”
“Nah, he won’t.”
“Nah, he - “
Found self drenched in water. As living in London, weather miserably cold, water seemingly started to freeze on self. Rather than jumping and screaming en route to shower Louis-style, instead cast Drying Charm on self.
“Fine, I’ll get up, whatever.”
“Harry is so
going to kill you.”
Arrived at work not all that much later. Drew stares as walked through Ministry atrium. Not unusual. For all that the Muggles are really pretty shocking, they do make lovely clothes. Realised just how lovely when saw Madam Bones, the Minister for the Interior, striding down the hall. Nice woman and all, but really, robes just plain unflattering.
Skipped through to the elevators. Didn’t trip over heels once, congratulated self for general awesomeness twice. Entered dilapidated elevator and immediately regretted decision.
In the Muggle films and books and stuff, why is it when the single (female, brilliant, beautiful, stylish, etc.) protagonist gets in the lift, there’s a stunningly dashing gentleman-type in there as well. V. misleading as all know in actuality is always the last person, or persons, one actually wants to see. Although to be fair, on reflection, did promise to be rather fun.
“Domini-” they both started. Then both stopped and looked at each other. Then at self. Then back at each other.
Considered saving them the trouble. Decided against it. Boy #1 was in fact, not boy, rather a senior official in the foreign ministry, early 30s or so. Boy #2 was rather a boy, around own age, possibly younger. Very pretty, not very smart. Likely why he tends to run around getting people pumpkin juice, coffee and the like.
Small chance was seeing (read stringing along) both at same time. While could be considered poor form, was really just a bit of fun. Catch and release, keeping skills intact and all. Annah would roll eyes, Louis would be distinctly unimpressed, Molly (bitch) would have slept with both already. So really was benevolent and magnanimous seductress. Should practically be grateful.
“How do you know her then?” Boy #1 started, in rather outraged tones. Seemed almost aggrieved.
“Well how do you
know her?” Excellent retort Boy #2
“I happen to be seeing her, thank you very much.”
“Umm, I don’t think so.”
“And why’s that then?”
“She’s my girlfriend innit?”
At this point in time may have been doing very best to hold laughter in. Struggling, subtlety never having been own strong suit. Best left to Victoire that. Decided to leave the two to their own devices, surely would sort selves out sooner or later.
To the dulcet tones of clanging lift doors and voiceover ever so kindly informing self that was arriving at the second floor where office was held, as part of greater Auror Office obviously. Found distinctly amusing that Boys #1 and #2 had forgotten to get out.
Turned with a charming smile. “Well, this is me, have a nice day lovely.” Blew kiss in general direction of both, then spun on heel, hearing at least one nasty thumping sound behind self. Stepped down corridor with smile on face. Smile only slightly diminished when rounded door to own cubicle only to find Harry (Potter, the uncle - kind of) lounging on chair, twirling wand. Decided to go for brazen approach.
“Umm… That’s my chair you’re sitting in!”
Brazen possibly showed poor judgement. The ‘indeed’ had at least a five second pause between the ‘n’ and the ‘d.’ May have gone too far. Seemed unlikely however.
“My office. Now.”
Marched at wandpoint into office of Head Auror ie. Harry. Should theoretically be intimidated, however, not. Harry made gestures towards a rather uncomfortable looking chair, all straight-backed and wooden. Miserable old bas -
“And your excuse this time is…?”
“Well, the thing is, it was yesterday. Tracking that stupid bastard all across Wales. What with his apparating everywhere and all. Do you know how hard it is to track Apparation without any sort of Tracking Charm? It’s really bloody hard, and he just wouldn’t give up even though he was completely bloody exhausted, think I might have scared him a bit - gotten a bit carried away with the threats, but still - you can’t just go stealing the Minister’s cloak can you? It’s really just, I mean, it’s the youth of today isn’t it? Back in my day I would never - “
“Dominique. Shut. Up.”
Pouted. Normally has rapid effect on males. Harry unfortunately not normal male.
“You do realise that sooner or later you’re going to get fired if you keep going like this, don’t you? In fact, I was actually told to get rid of you today - your boss isn’t the biggest fan it seems.”
“Oh fuck right off, who, Corner? Not even man, that’s just because I didn’t hook up with him at that last work party! He’s been trying to get rid of me ever since.”
“Umm… yeah! As if you didn’t know that?”
“Well it’s not like you told me is it?
“I did just then!”
“And I’m going to be dragging him into my office next, aren’t I? Anyway, didn’t I just tell you to shut up? I did, so listen. I’m not going to fire you.”
Shrugged. This was obvious. Am far, far too good to be fired. Seriously, am really just amazing. Freakish talent.
“If, however, you screw up what I’m asking you to do, you most certainly will be fired, got it?”
“Well, what is it you want me to do then?”
“I need you to go to a party for me.”
Grinned, then realised party unlikely to be as good as promised. Every silver lining has a cloud or similar.
“And what exactly am I going to be doing at this party?”
“You’ve heard of the NDE?”
“New Death Eaters?”
“Yep,” nodded All Powerful Harry. “They’re nothing to worry about really. Just another lot of blood supremacists, completely useless of magic of course. Not that that’s ever going to stop them. Point is, we’ve been hearing rumours for a while now that they’re going to have a go at one of my kids - kidnap them, kill them, you know - something idiotic like that.”
“So you’re using James as bait?” I inferred dramatically. Noticed voice had shifted from nonchalant into rather cold and curt tone. Despite a loss of contact in recent times, James was far and away my favourite of the Potter-Weasley clan. “That’s really not cool. Does he know?”
“Better that he doesn’t.”
Felt lips set in very, very thin line. Reached up to tousle hair. Harry might be a hero, might be the saviour of the wizarding world, but could also be downright cold and ruthless when had to be. Feel sure this is why Louis worships him. Louis being incapable of cold and ruthless. Couldn’t be if he tried. Using James as bait for the NDE was, in fairness, genius. Party would probably be some huge thing, completely exposing him. Knowing the NDE, they wouldn’t be able to help themselves, would send what passed for crack troops to get him and then (if brilliant Harry Plan succeeded) would be captured by self and other Auror-types.
“I’ll send a briefing down to you in a minute. But seriously Dom, look after him okay? There’s a reason I’m putting you on this, he better stay alive.
Saluted immaturely. “Si el capitane!”
Received unimpressed glare in return.
“Alright fine, fine. But seriously, Lily
could take these guys.”
Harry laughed rather grimly. “Have you seen Lily recently? She’s just like you, only smaller and, you know, angrier.”
“Less talented though. Maybe not much
less, but I mean, you know…” (here made expressive hand gestures indicating self.)
“Mmm dunno, would be pretty close - at the same age…Anyway, I wouldn’t stress about it, she’s more into politics at the moment - got some crazy idea about getting rid of the Prefect system, Head Boy and Girl and all.”
Burst out laughing. Idea of Board of Governors abolishing a system steeped in hundreds of years of tradition being, well, laughable.
Calmed self enough to say (read, exclaim) “Well, that’s never going to happen!”
Harry shrugged, slight glimmer in eye. “We’ll just have to wait and see I guess, you should owl her - she’s always liked you.”
Joined in modest shrugging. No point denying these things. It’s not everyone that likes me to be fair. Would be approx 59-40 split between like and love. Remaining one percent merely bitter and twisty. Fact.
“Alright, I will when I get home then, haven’t heard from her in ages.”
“Ahh no, no. Tonight you’re going to a party.”
“Umm, I’m pretty sure I’d know if I was going to a party.”
Tuh. Famous Harry Potter. Thinks he knows my schedule. Everyone knows I don’t do Fridays.
Famous Harry Potter looks unimpressed. May have forgotten something.
Famous Harry Potter glaring.
“Err, haha, I totally knew that. Just didn’t really consider it a party. What with it being such an important job and all. Didn’t want you to think I was taking it lightly. Because I’m definitely not taking it lightly and if you think that I -”
. I’m your niece!”
Green eyes bulged behind recently-turned-hot glasses. Decided tactical retreat was in order. Retreated.
Apparently party not so much party as function. Pre-season draft for the Quidditch. Reason for James’ appearance at said unclear. Something to do with him being good at the game no doubt. Realised that wearing half-boots had been a genius idea. If assailant-types present, significantly easier to run around and injure them in. Unlike ridiculous looking creature with purple dress and red heels who was presently clinging to nearest robed official in vain effort to remain standing. Watched with mildly interest then cast a Trip Jinx. Watched trip, flail, shriek, inevitable fall and howl upon landing. Smirked to self, walked on.
Unfortunately was not allowed to sit with James as any NDE-types would obviously see self and run. Also James might wonder why at Quidditch function when have next to no interest in the stupid game. So was well and truly hidden up the back of hall. Pout at full throttle, wand beginning to twirl idly. Tapping out a beat on the tablecloth in front of self.
By the time the seventh pick, an uninteresting looking young man who rather resembled a barrel, was chosen by Caerphilly and therefore confined to a life of misery in Wales, had completely tuned out. Felt eyes flickering closed, and head drifting inexorably towards table.
Woken up some time later by a scream. Looked up through narrowed eyes to see Purple Dress screaming pointing and screaming hysterically.
Was pleasantly surprised to see a bolt of red light come flying through the air and smack her one. Always a place for a good Stunner. Suddenly realised potential implications of said Stunner combined with screaming and pointing that precluded it. New Death Eaters. Stupid bloody name. You’d think if going for terrorist organisation, could at least come up with own name.
Shook head a bit to flip hair out of eyes and see what was going on. Rolled eyes at stupidity of scene before self. Barrel Boy who had just been drafted by the Catapults had James in a headlock, wand at temple doing his best to look menacing. Weedy looking little guy also had his wand pulled and was hopping around excitedly. Sickening arrogance really. Stood up with a sigh, pulling wand from super-subtle wand pocket in dress as went. Clearly weren’t actually going to kill James as if were going to, would have already.
First cast Anti-Disapparation Jinx which, for most, is not easy. While doable, requires significant amounts of magical power. Fortunately however, am not most people.
Started to wind way through tables towards them, the fact that all else had heads down on their tables may have had something to do with the fact that Weedy Little Guy spotted self quite quickly and started waving wand quite wildly. Had a squeaky voice which fitted his stature quite perfectly.
“Hey! You! Hot girl! Sit down!”
Whilst mildly flattered, silenced him from a distance. Face took on an interesting mauve shade as clearly tried and continually failed to express outrage. Flicked a stunner at him that was mildly surprised he managed to deflect away. Barrel Boy seemed in two minds as to what to do. Decided shouting would help his cause.
“Sit down or I kill ‘im!”
This was laughable. Clearly didn’t have it in him to cast Killing Curse, and even if he could, he wouldn’t - as would have already if this was intention.
Turned to him with derision. Twirled wand, slowly drawing thin line of fire from it. Spell Harry told me Dumbledore had once used, took me a whole week in Sixth Year to work it out, but got there eventually. Looked all kinds of awesome, and really quite dangerous. Waited until was looking dangerously long then started flicking it the room idly. The two muppets looked terrified. Probably justified.
“Go on then, give it your best shot.” Taunting criminal elements always good fun. James however looked outraged.
“Do it then!”
Out of corner of eye, saw Weedy Little Guy raising wand. Flicked tongue of fire at his legs and he went down with a comical scream. Sort of like ‘Eeeearrrggghhhhh I’m DYING!’ But, you know, all high pitched and funny. James’ eyes widened. He was a sheltered type after all.
“Come on then, are you going to kill him or not? ‘Cause, I mean, you’re next matey, there’s no way I’m going to let you leave now.”
Barrel Boy stiffened up. Could almost see cogs in brain turning. Did very silly thing. Spun in circle in attempt to Disapparate. Failed miserably due to jinx had cast earlier.
“That was a pretty
twirl,” I congratulated him. “Now are you going to kill him, or just give up?”
Seemingly incensed beyond all reason he turned his wand from James towards self and screamed “Avada Kedavra
Blinked in surprise as bolt of green light flashed in general direction of self. Either had underestimated him, or had provoked to the extent where was tapping into hitherto unsuspected levels of magic. Fortunately aim was very poor.
“Now really. That’s just plain uncalled for.” Flicked the fire in his direction and watched as James screamed as snuck between him and Barrel Boy. Barrel Boy joined in screaming, let go of James and began running round hysterically. Weedy Little Guy had given up on writhing and was lying quite still, possibly fainted. Finished Barrel Boy off with quick Stunner then walked over to James.
“You alright then?”
“What? Oh, yeah, I’m fine. What are you even doing here?”
He rolled his eyes. “Typical. Erm, Dom, is that fire you throwing around that stuff dad told us Dumbledore used?”
“Yep, is. Worked it out myself.” Allowed self smug smile here.
“What! That’s Fiedfyre you crazy! Except, Dumbledore worked out how to control it a bit, you know - so it wouldn’t just keep going forever. I mean, it’s still completely illegal. That’s why no one knows how to use it!”
Minor detail really. Although potentially problematic. Flounce in order.
“Well, was lovely to see you again James, should totally do this again soon! Ooh, wait, what house is Lily in again? I’ve got to write her a letter.”
Appeared somewhat shellshocked, perhaps unsurprising. Shook his head. “Oh, um, Gryffindor.”
“Ahh, right, lovely. Have a nice night!”
Couldn’t really be bothered undoing jinx, so dashed off in direction of exit, once again exceptionally glad for boots, and began to write lettter in my head.
You know what, Fridays really aren’t all that bad. In fact, they can actually be quite a lot of fun…
Bounced off gigantic marble pillar. Scowled. Realised was out of jinx zone. Disapparated.
Okay, this should make sense if you haven't read Monday, Monday,
and/or Any Given Sunday
although will definitely be funnier if you have. Anyway, I do hope you enjoyed it, I had quite a lot of fun writing it! Dom is just a lunatic to write, doesn't behave at all -sulks- Anyway, shall reappear soonish with a MM chapter, hopefully anyway.