That summer was torture. I have never not talked to my sister for so long.
And I watched her deteriorate before my eyes. Of course, my mother grounded her when she came home and watched her like a hawk. I noticed she ate more, to appease my mother. But I’m not so sure my mother heard her at nights, vomiting it all back into the toilet.
I didn’t say anything, only because I didn’t want her to hate me anymore. I was sick of her staring at me in hate, probably wishing I would die. That I was a typical Slytherin for doing this to her. For standing between her and her boyfriend.
My mother forbade her to see Sirius.
That never deterred her. I didn’t think Sirius Black would know how to use a phone, but apparently he did, because I sometimes listened to the one way conversations through the paper thin walls. I didn’t for long though; I didn’t need another reason for her to despise me.
My mother didn’t notice the subtle changes in her oldest twin. I did, because I think I began looking for them. Her cheeks became more gaunt; her hair more limp and thin; her bones more brittle and her skin more translucent. My mother thought she was doing a good job and sent us both off to Hogwarts with happy smiles and a bag of fudge each.
I don’t think she saw me, but I saw Karlie throw her bag of fudge out.
That year, Lily Evans and James Potter became Head Girl and Head Boy. It was also the year they began dating. I knew Lily had been my only hope in stopping Karlie, but now it seemed like she was spending all her time and energy on Potter. I despised myself for not being a Gryffindor.
I frequently caught her and Black in the halls after hours. I left them, not wanting to say anything, but whispered point reductions so I wouldn’t get in trouble. Either they didn’t notice or they didn’t care. Perhaps both.
It was in the middle of November the first time it happened.
I was patrolling the hallways right before curfew. Bella was with me and we were chatting about NEWTS and Quidditch. Hearing a familiar voice, I threw my arm out, catching Bella in the chest. We waited, hardly breathing, behind a suit of armor as Black and Karlie descended from the Gryffindor Tower.
“-looking a little thick. Chocolate?”
I saw red. I didn’t know what really happened next, except that Bella had her hand covering my mouth and her other arm around my chest; we were vibrating. I realized I was shaking, convulsing from my anger. Karlie’s answer faded into the background.
“I don’t know what it is, I’ve been dieting but…”
We both didn’t say anything as Bella let me go and we continued walking.
I didn’t think I could possibly take anything much longer. School work, homework, Quidditch, Karlie , Black, patrols and a bunch of other little things were constantly nagging me in the back of my head. I had a raging headache 90% of the time, I was now known for snapping at regular intervals and I constantly felt sick to my stomach.
The difference between Karlie and I, however, was that I wasn’t vomiting on purpose.
I caught Sirius Black and my sister chatting about the same thing they had that night on more than one occasion. And I wasn’t sure what to do anymore. I was done being a snitch- but I didn’t think she could hate me anymore than she already did. I kept silent.
Until one night during patrols.
I was walking past the Head Towers. I had just caught a couple of Third Years snogging and sent them off to bed with a couple of points removed from their house. I wasn’t in a good mood; I was tired, I was sick and I just wanted to go to sleep and forget about everything.
Then Lily Evans stumbled out of the Tower.
Literally stumbled out- she tripped, skinning the palms of her hands and knees, so that they were dotted with blood. I realized she was sobbing and she looked incredibly frightened. She was wearing a large t shirt, a pair of shorts and high socks, so I knew it was later than I realized. Her hair was in a bun and the makeup she had worn earlier in the day was in dark and heavy circles beneath her eyes. She saw me, then moaned, grabbing me by the robes and picking herself up.
“Oh my God,” she said, hiccupped. “Kadyn- Karlie- she’s- she’s- help-“
“Lily,” I said, prying her fingers off of my robes. “What’s going on, what happened?”
“Karlie, she’s in my Common Room. You have to help-“
“Is something wrong?” I asked, alarmed. She moaned again, tears leaking from her eyes.
“She’s not waking up.” My heart stopped for three beats and started back up again. I was breathless.
“Show me,” I said, pushing her back to her Tower. “Show me Karlie.”
I thought my world was going to end.
I thought I was just going to keel over and pass out.
I wished I would.
After we found Karlie on Lily’s sofa, the nurse came and magicked her out on a stretcher.
She died of malnutrition.
All I really remember of that night was afterward; Lily trying to calm me down before the nurse came. And then James Potter coming out of his dorm and holding me tight. It wasn’t sentimental- it was restraining.
I remembered that my skin itched. Crawling, like a thousand insects were fluttering feather light over my skin. I wanted to rip it off, rip it into shreds and stomp it into the carpet.
After the nurse came and magicked my sister- my sister- away, I didn’t want to be pried off of Potter. I didn’t want to go with that maniacal woman. She didn’t know. She didn’t know.
Then darkness began creeping over me. There was a sound, something loud, something sinister and unearthly. It was nothing like I ever heard before.
I remember the long, thin lines on my arms and on my torso when the nurse finally got me to the Hospital Wing. There were hundreds of them, hundreds and they were all crying and everything was crying. The sky was leaking water outside my window and I couldn’t help but let myself cry as well. The cuts were from my nails.
The noise was my screams.
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