After her tears had dried Sarah understood that she had to do something to keep the thoughts about Severus away. Still, she hoped that he would come back. He had to. He had no one else to go to, but he had not come back for an hour already. She guessed that he wanted her to go to him and apologize. She wondered whether she should go to him. She understood that the situation was foolish, but she was too proud to admit that she should not have been so sharp with him, especially after what had happened.
She figured out that it would be more useful if she went to her work and helped to save some lives while she cleared her thoughts. She chose to Floo to the workplace. She hated this way of traveling, but it was the fastest one in this case. She Flooed straight to the room where healers from her department could rest. When she got out of the fireplace she saw her colleague Megan resting on the couch. She had shoulder length blonde hair, always wore provocative make-up and all in all was a very charming woman.
“Hey, Sarah! Have you heard the news?” she asked after throwing out her bubblegum.
“Which news?” Sarah asked back, just to be polite. She was not interested in any news anyway.
“There was a Death Eater attack on Hogwarts and they say that Albus Dumbledore has been murdered. Can you imagine something like that? If it’s not safe even in Hogwarts, it’s not safe anywhere…” Sarah thought that it was the first time she saw Megan worried. She was always too jovial to be true. So the news had reached everyone. She was worried about what everyone knew. Sarah had to admit that arguing with Snape had been silly, if she was afraid of being left without him more than anything in the world. She would not survive if he was sent to Azkaban. Still, she had hoped that everything would be alright. She could be lucky for once, too, but she was afraid to find out what was known. She did not want to crush her illusions about a bright future.
“Who killed Dumbledore?” Sarah asked without waiting for Megan to stop. She held her breath and hoped that Megan would not how anxious she was.
“I don’t know. One of the Death Eaters,” she shrugged her shoulders.
A huge weight was lifted off her mind. Sarah was relieved that Snape was not a murderer officially, at least up to that moment. She could hope that everything would be alright. The fight could not last forever, could it? She did not want to think about it. He should come back soon and apologize for being rude. She did not believe that he did not care enough for her to come back. He would do that eventually.
“Anyway what are you doing here? You went home just a few hours ago.” She was as curious as always and said everything what was on her mind without thinking.
“I just don’t have anything to do at home, but here is a lot of work,” Sarah lied.
“Don’t lie! No one comes to work just because there is nothing to do at home!” she stopped ad then suddenly said, “Have you had a quarrel with your boyfriend?”
“What? How do you know?” Sarah could not believe her ears. She had not even told Megan that she had a boyfriend. Actually, she had not told anyone that she had met someone whom she loved. Was it so obvious that she was in love? She tried not to express it in any way. It was a real mystery how Megan knew that.
“Well, I did not. I said it just like a joke!” she revealed confused, but an impish smirk crossed her face soon afterwards. She seemed very interested in her new discovery.
“Oh my god!” Sarah exclaimed. She definitely had not intended to talk about Severus with Megan. The whole St. Mungo’s would know everything that she told her after about ten to fifteen minutes.
“Why did not you tell me that you finally found someone for you?” she questioned her.
“I choose to keep my private life just to myself,” she said and hoped that Megan would not ask anything more, but it was a very small hope.
“So, you had a fight and broke up?” she asked.
“Yes,” Sarah admitted. It seemed that Megan knew everything. Sarah figured out that there’s no need to think about how she could conclude it.
“And he’s the guilty one?” Megan asked as straight as she always did.
“I would not say that I can’t be blamed as well,” she confessed although she did not want to.
“So what are you thinking about? Go to him and apologize. You were looking for someone so long and now, when you have found someone you love, you are wasting time by arguing.” Megan was quite furious.
“But why shouldn’t I?” Sarah asked for more explanation. She was not willing to admit that she was too stubborn and she should go and apologize.
“There’s a war going on! If the Death Eaters managed to kill Albus Dumbledore, they can kill him, too! Do you want to be alone again?” she said completely certain about her words.
That was definitely the worst example that she could provide, but Sarah got her point. She was right.
***
Sarah took some potions for clearing his wounds and Apparated to his house. She thought that he was definitely angry at her so it was better to Apparate straight into the living room, not in the street, because he could not let her in as well. It was not polite, but she did not care.
Everything was worse than she had imagined. Snape was sitting in an armchair with a bottle of Firewhiskey in the hand and was looking very miserable. She finally felt very sorry for him. He had been through so much, but she was angry just because of the worthless argument. She suppressed her pride, went strait to him and hugged him.
He did not return any love to her. Instead he glowered at her with no other emotion than pain and hearted and snapped, “What are you doing here? I have not calmed down and I have no intention to do that, so you are not going to receive any apology from me, if that’s what you want.”
“I haven’t come to ask for an apology although you said some unpleasant things to me….”
Sarah was intervened by Snape, “You should have gotten used to hearing truth from people long ago and not be furious for years and years that they do not think just the way as you do,” Snape retorted. He was fed up with her always thinking that she was right. It was an emotionally hard time for Snape and he had more important things on his mind than controlling his thought and temper, but she expected that he would be able to think about everything.
“But you are wrong!” she said obstinately.
“And killing a friend is wrong, too!”
“I’m sorry. Don’t be angry. Please!” she tried to comfort him, but he remained cold and angry.
“I am angry and I don’t want to do anything about it! You don’t know what it’s like. You haven’t seen the sparkle in Dumbledore’s eyes, but I saw the moment when it went out forever. You can’t even imagine how I feel, but you want me to be nice! Don’t be angry, but I would really like to be alone for awhile.”
“Alright, I will leave you alone so you can draw yourself in a bottle instead of talking it through with me.”
Snape was not looking at her, but heard how her steps went away. He was partly sorry for sending her away and being rude. He had missed her very much, but he did not want to take his anger out on her. For a moment he considered running after her and saying that he was sorry, but then he realized that it was definitely wiser to calm down at first. He did not want to risk with their love. Snape was surprised when she rushed back to him. He had hoped deep in his heart that she would not want to leave him alone and she would somehow find a way to make him feel better. He understood that he would not be so lucky, when he saw her carrying some bottles with potions towards him. He felt rather disappointed.
“What are those for?” he asked.
“For your wounds! Let me heal them.”
Snape repelled her soft and caring hands before they had touched him.
“Do you think that I’m incapable of healing my wounds myself?” he lost his temper completely. He needed her to help him sort out his emotions, but instead she was offering him potions that he probably had himself.
“Yes, you are. You are sitting here for hours in bloodied clothes!”
He wanted to scream at her and get her out of his house with all those potion bottles, but he managed to control himself. Sarah took his hesitation as allowance to heal his wounds. She magically took his robes off. He was surprised to see how many scratches and bruises he had. That creature had truly deserved to be beheaded. He got shivers running through all his body when she touched him. Snape had been longing for her touch, but he had never imagined that the reason for her touches would be his injuries. Snape lost the track of time since he felt very nice. It was until she applied some disinfecting potions. Then he felt like a small child again, because it was painful and he was too irritated to acknowledge how caring she was.
Sarah finished working on his wounds and was pleased with her job. He looked well and there was no sign that he had been injured just a few minutes ago. She cast some spells to mend his clothes and put them back on. She was partly sorry that she was done. It meant that she had to go home and wait for him to come to her, but she had no idea when he would do it and if he would. There could be a chance that he was angrier at her than she thought he was, but it was better not to think about that. She hesitated for some moments, because she hoped that he would reach for her and would not let her go. After some moments of silence when none of them moved she did not have another opportunity than to go away. At least she did not see another opportunity. She would not ask him an allowance to stay.
Meanwhile, Snape also was not as pleased as he should have been when she finished healing his wounds. He would have liked to feel her touch for longer. Everything could be alright if she stayed. He did not look at her, but he knew that she did not move away although it was not necessary for her to be at his side anymore. It meant that she would stay. Joy started filling his heart when she stood up and went away to the place where she had left her things. What if he asked her to stay? No, he could not do that. He had just asked her to leave. He never changed his thoughts so easily. He could not show her that he could not be without her. He had always been unyielding, he could not change now. It would not be him if he did. However, she was sensitive. She would definitely come back after a few seconds. He did not believe that she would really leave.
Sarah gathered her things and was ready to leave. Well, she did not want to, but she would never admit it. She waited a bit. She still hoped that he would ask her to stay, but she did not hear a sound from him. It seemed that he really preferred to be alone than with her.
Snape had almost changed his mind on calling her back when he heard a faint sound of Disapparition. “Sarah!” he called out, but it was too late. She had gone. He did not understand how it had happened. She had been so close, but he had let her go. Well, probably he could be fine without her. However, he noticed that since he had left her apartment he had thought just about her, not Dumbledore, Death Eaters, or his safety, just about her. So where was the use of sitting here and pretending that he was very angry if he was not? He knew that he won’t admit it, even to himself, but this time the best was to leave his pride behind and go after her.
Snape Disapparated and was on the way to restoring peace between them.
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