One way or another, I’m gonna find ya,
I’m gonna getcha, getcha, getcha, getcha,
One way or another, I’m gonna win ya,
I’m gonna getcha, getcha, getcha, getcha,
One way or another, I’m gonna see ya,
I’m gonna meetcha, meetcha meetcha, meetcha,
One day, maybe next week,
I’m gonna meetcha, I’m gonna meetcha, I’ll meetcha,
I will drive past your house,
And if the lights are all down,
I’ll see who’s around…
-“One Way or Another” by Blondie
“No, Amos wouldn’t work,” Lily shook her head. “Benjy thinks that he’s a total pansy. He wouldn’t ever see him as competition.”
“I know!” Alice exclaimed, “James Potter and Sirius Black.”
“ Alice, no!” Lily protested.
Alice played oblivious to the obvious reason why Lily was vetoing the idea, “You’re right. Just James-”
“NO! He’s a total player and he hates me. He’d never agree to it.”
“Actually he might,” Elle said.
“And why would he do that?” asked an incredulous Lily.
“He and Benjy hate one another. It’s always been a constant competition between the two since they were toddlers, everyone knows about it.”
“You forgot the part about how he hates me! He thinks I’m annoying.”
“But he hates Benjy more, my dear,” Alice told her. “So it’s set, tomorrow we’ll talk to James about it and by Wednesday it’ll all be set in motion.”
“But-” Lily stammered, trying to protest.
“Lils, I get that you think he’s a bully and everything, but do you want Benjy or not? If you do, you’re going to have to go all out, and James is the key,” Alice told her.
“Fine, I’ll do it,” Lily conceded.
Where do you go with your broken heart in tow?
What do you do with the left over you?
And how do you know when to let go?
Where does the good go? Where does the good go?
-“Where Does the Good Go” by Tegan and Sara
Alice and Elle had spent the night with Lily in her dorm, but in the morning when both woke up and noticed that Lily was still asleep, the two moved to the common room as not to wake her.
“You know, I didn’t get to tell you last night, but thanks for going through with all of this. I know that you didn’t like the idea or anything, but you went through with it anyway and that means a lot to me. I really couldn’t have done any of it without you,” Elle told Alice.
“It’s fine, really. I think you may have been right anyway, at least this way we can use it to our advantage, have some sort of impact on her, and maybe even mess with the wanker’s head a bit. Now, as far as I see it, it’s a win-win situation.”
“Glad to hear it. I wanted to ask you, why’d you want the ‘boy toy’ to be James so much? You usually wouldn’t care so long as he was an attractive bloke, but you were really pushing for him. What are you panning?”
“James is a great mate, and I think he can really help us. I mean there is a reason why all the girls want him even if he is a commitment-phoebe. It’s not just that he has this golden boy image, but he can also charm the pants off of any girl. Lily…Lily just doesn’t realize how special she is—no matter how many times we tell her, she’ll never get this picture out her head where she isn’t worthy. I figure that if I talk to James about it, he could really help us with boosting her self-esteem, help her forget this idea of hers that Fen-Prick is the best that she can do-”
“Wait a minute, Fen-Prick?” Elle asked her with an amused smile.
“My new nickname for him, I think it’s rather well deserved.”
“I’d like to think so. Anyway, going off topic-”
“We always do, it’s a bad habit.”
Alice laughed, “True.”
“Seriously though, do you really think that James can help us?”
“He doesn’t really know Lily. I think he might actually like her after he spends some time with her; I’m mates with him for a reason. I know what he thinks of her and it’s the total opposite of what she’s really like.”
“Wait, you think that he’ll fall for her?!”
“No, I don’t think James is even capable of monogamy, he’s tried it two times, both were a total failure, that’s enough for him. Yet, I think that if he gets to know her, he’ll want Lily to finally see how much she’s worth. How she deserves more; he hates cheaters.”
“Are you sure about all of that?” Elle asked doubtfully. “Because, honestly, it sounds like a bit of a stretch.”
“I’m hopeful— very hopeful.”
“But what if it doesn’t-”
Elle was interrupted by the bedroom door opening to reveal a groggy Lily. She walked over to where they were sitting on the couch, sitting next to Alice and Elle, hugging herself. “I feel pathetic. I can’t get that image out of my head. I try to, but whenever I close my eyes, I see them.”
“Sweetie,” Elle pulled her into a tight hug. “It’ll get better, I promise. If you ever get sad about it, we’re here, helping you out every step of the way.”
“I know,” Lily told them in a defeated voice. “It just gets to me; it comes out of nowhere, just when I’m starting to feel better and I just… I just don’t get it! I mean, why Rachel of all people? Why one of my best friends? What makes her so much better than me?”
“Nothing Lily, absolutely nothing,” Alice told her. “You’re prettier; you’re smarter, wittier, and just more fun in general. You’re the full package—everything a guy could possibly want.”
“Just not full enough,” Lily spitefully bit out, trying to keep the tears form coming.
“Lily, he’s just a horny bastard. Honestly, I think you deserve way better and I don’t know why the bloody hell you even want that prick back.”
Lily looked at her, her face contorting in confusion. “Why are you helping me? If you think that, why are you going along with this?”
Alice shrugged, “You’d do it even if I didn’t help you and most of all, you would do it for me even if you didn’t agree with it. I figure I may as well be as supportive as I can be. After all, it’s your life, your mistakes, your prerogative.”
“Thanks?” Lily told her with a small smile.
“No problem, just don’t expect me to let you forget that I totally don’t agree with all this. I still, and will always, think that you deserve better.”
“There’s no one better, I need him,” she told her as she got up. Lily took a deep sigh, regaining composure, trying to put on a firm front—more for herself than anyone else, to try and feel like she was stronger—a better person.
“We should get ready for breakfast. Want to meet up down there in fifteen minutes?” she asked.
“Okay, we should head back to our dorms to changes,” Elle told her.
Let’s dance in style, let’s dance for a while,
Heaven can wait, we’re only watching the skies,
Hoping for the best, but expecting the worst,
Are you gonna drop the bomb or not?
-“Forever Young” by Youth Group
“Oy, Prewitt,” Sirius called out to her as she and Elle walked into the Great Hall, “Eat with us today, we miss your sarcastic comments.”
“You really know how to charm a girl, don’t you?” she asked him with a smirk as she and Elle took seats their seats next to them.
“Sad part is that his lines work on so many girls,” Frank quipped.
“You’re just jealous,” Sirius told him.
“They don’t fall for his words, but his face,” Elle commented.
“Oy, I’m right here you know?” Sirius exclaimed.
“I think they’ve noticed, mate,” James told him with a smirk, obviously enjoying the situation.
Elle, Frank, and Alice broke out in hysterics when they saw Sirius pouting. “Poor baby,” Elle sympathized. “What can I do to make you feel better?”
“A kiss would be nice,” he told her with a sly smirk.
“Not going to happen, sweetie,” she told him.
“Something’s missing,” Frank commented out of no where.
“Where did that come from?” Alice asked, laughing at his randomness.
“I know what it is, where’s Lily, isn’t she always with you two?” he asked, choosing to ignore Alice’s comment.
“I don’t know, she should already be down here,” Alice said, looking around the great hall to see if she had missed her friend when she had come in.
“Knowing her she probably walked into a wall or something,” Elle said.
“True,” Alice agreed.
“She walked into a wall?” Remus asked incredulously.
“Yes I did, and I’d rather that you didn’t remind me of it. Painful memories,” Lily winced, moving from where she was behind him to take a seat between him and Alice. “And you were wrong Elle; I didn’t walk into a wall, today at least.”
“You didn’t? But you’ve done that ever day since first year, it’s like clock work.”
“It’s true, it’s practically tradition,” Alice agreed.
“Who would have thought that perfect Evans walks into walls on a daily basis,” James commented with an under tone of taunting.
Lily chose to ignore it, figuring she’d have to stay on his good side if she wanted him to help her out. “In my defense, it’s really hard to see when you’re all bleary eyed when you just woke up. It’s an honest mistake, an error in judgment if you will.”
“You’re so desperate to make it out to be normal, don’t justify it. Lils, you walk into walls, there’s no excuse for that one,” Elle laughed.
“What I’m wondering right now is how you didn’t walk into a wall,” Alice said.
“Just didn’t,” Lily said proudly. “Although I did have a little mishap with the door and the stairs."
“How little?” asked a curious Frank.
Lily’s face darkened once she mentioned it, a scowl marring her face, “I pulled at the door rather forcefully rather then pushing, you can figure out what happened from there. As for the stairs, I fell into the trick step,” she muttered, blushing in embarrassment as the entire table erupted in laughter.
“You’d think that after seven years here you’d finally figure out where the trick step is,” Alice teased her.
“It’s not my fault! I didn’t have my coffee yet, you can’t possibly expect me to function properly without it. I’m still in a sleep induced coma until I have my second cup.”
“Bloody hell, she even manages to use big words in the morning. Remus, my dear, I think we’ve found your perfect match,” Sirius said.
“You’re forgetting that she has a boyfriend,” Remus dryly commented.
“Where is he anyway, aren’t you two always attached by the hip?” James asked.
Lily shifted uncomfortably once he made that comment. Alice immediately noticed her discomfort and answered for her, “You think he’s an annoying wanker, I figured you’d be rejoicing over the fact that he’s not here rather than asking for him. Are you secretly in love with him, James?” she teased him.
“No,” James said, pouting, his ego obviously offended by the comment.
“Classes start in five minutes, we should go,” Elle announced.
As everyone got up to leave, Alice pulled James to her so that they were walking behind the rest of the group, “What’s going on?” he asked, brows furrowing in confusion.
“I need your help with something… something important.”
James looked at her, worried by how serious she was, a feat for Alice to say the least. “ Alice whatever it is, I’m there, you can count on me. You know that.”
Alice smiled at him, “Thanks, a little reassurance is always nice. Just please meet me at the Room of Requirement at five… and keep what you just said in mind when I tell you what I have to tell you,” she told him before walking away and joining Lily and Elle.
“What the hell did I just agree to?”
If you could rewind your time,
Would you change your life?
Do you like you?
Do you love your wife?
Or did you pick what
You’re told was right
-“Rewind” by Stereophonics
“Okay, I’m here,” James announced as he walked into the Room of Requirement to meet Alice. “So what’s going on? What do you need my help with?”
“How about we put a little pause on the Spanish inquisition you have going on there until the others get here.”
“I’ll explain when they get here.”
“I would just like to state for the record that it’s Lily’s fault that we’re late,” Elle announced as the pair walked into the room.
“It’s only three minutes,” Lily pouted.
“Love, you’ve never been on time for anything in your life.
“Shut up, you’re going to make me cry,” Lily whined.
“Will someone please explain to me what’s going on here?” asked an exasperated James.
“Well, you see they’re doing this thing called bickering. Elle’s currently mocking Lily’s time management skills,” Alice teased him, well aware of how annoyed he was with her for evading the topic at hand.
“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” he told her through gritted teeth.
“Okay, okay, no need to get all riled up Jamie-Poo,” she told him as she pinched his cheek.
“Jamie-Poo?” Lily and Elle echoed.
“You promised you wouldn’t call me that name in front of other people,” he whined.
“What can I say? I lied.”
“She does that a lot,” Elle quipped.
“Shut up,” Alice told her.
“You know as fascinating as this is, I do have other things to do,” James announced. “And what are Evans and Poirot doing here anyway?” James asked Alice.
“Well that’s kind of why Alice asked you here- you see- well-” Elle stumbled for words.
“Oh, spit it out already,” Alice snapped.
“Well, if you think you could do a better job, then go ahead.”
“Fine I will. James, how much do you want to get back at Fenwick?” Alice asked him.
He looked at her, utterly baffled as to what she was alluding to, “And how do you propose I do that?”
Alice silently answered his question by shifting her gaze to an obviously uncomfortable Lily.
Write a Review The Original I Know That You Sleep With My Boyfriend: Phase I: Boy Toy Wanted