Author's Note: The song lyrics are from "From this Moment On" by Shania Twain. The story is mine ;) EDIT (2/3/08): Space issues fixed.
The music flew through James’s brain, in one ear and out the other. It was the sort of song that was utterly forgettable, except for the feeling that its lyrics left inside him long after the music had stopped. It had branded itself into his heart and now he couldn’t stop humming it and reciting the words to himself, try as he might have.
And okay, maybe he had been too busy brooding to try.
I do swear that I'll always be there.
I'd give anything and everything and I will always care.
Through weakness and strength, happiness and sorrow, for better, for worse,
I will love you with every beat of my heart.
He knew this song had been sung before, millions of times to millions of girls. His mum had even once been serenaded with it, at her wedding. The thought made him a little queasy. It was a classic, made for soppy romantics and men filled with so much of the strange feeling called love that they no longer knew what to do with themselves.
Care to take a guess which one James was?
From this moment life has begun
From this moment you are the one
Right beside you is where I belong
From this moment on
One lazy summer afternoon, not a few months ago, James had come back home from hanging out with his friends to hear music wafting about his house. It was strange because there was almost never music played there. Most often, it was silent unless James himself made a racket.
But this soft, melodic song seemed so out of place with the world that he had just left, of rough laughter and carefree youth, that he followed it into his living room. A CD was playing, one he did not recognize, and his parents were dancing. They revolved slowly on the spot in the middle of the living room, eyes closed, as James stared.
He quickly made to turn away and walk to his room, embarrassed. He was intruding on his parents’ rare show of affection for each other. But the song’s lyrics caught and held him, and he sat down in the hallway, just out of sight, to listen.
When the song was finished, he heaved himself up and once again, tried to head towards his room. Instead, he found himself walking into the living room, where his parents were now sitting calmly, his father reading the newspaper and his mother flipping through a magazine. This was how he normally saw them. The spell that the song had cast had been broken.
“Ahem.” James cleared his throat, and his parents looked up. They had not heard him come in.
“Have fun today?” his dad asked with no particular interest. James knew by now that the question required no answer. It was only a filler question when real conversation eluded them.
Ever since he had started school at Hogwarts, six years ago, his parents had understood and resigned themselves to the fact that he was now, indeed, lost to them. It had been especially hard for his father, he thought, but now they were all used to it.
“Yeah,” James replied absentmindedly.
“Oh, well that’s good, dear,” his mother said. “It’s nice to have a little fun during the summer. When is Sirius coming this year?”
“We haven’t really talked about that yet,” James said. This was true. They mostly discussed ways to best leave their mark on Hogwarts during their last year of schooling there. “Sirius has a job, so he’s renting somewhere.”
His mother’s nose wrinkled. “Renting somewhere? Well, be sure to tell him that if he ever prefers to live in a nicer place, we have plenty of room.”
James was going to say something about how he’d been to Sirius’s and it was pretty nice, really. But he opened his mouth, and out came, “What was that song you were just listening to?” His face flushed, but his parents seemed not to notice.
“Oh, that old thing?” his father said, laughing his rumbling laugh. Though the man was tall and lean, when he found something extra funny he laughed like one of those jolly fat men James saw in pubs. “It’s our wedding mix.”
James had been born three years before his parents got married. At the ceremony, he vaguely remembered, he had run around awed by the splendor and extravagance, and the beauty and happiness of his parents. It had taken his nanny and two aunts to chase him down and hold him still while his mum walked down the aisle.
Now his mother smiled dreamily at the memory. “It’s the sweetest song, isn’t it? Your father requested it especially to be played for the first dance.”
James nodded and grinned a little. “It’s nice. Can I—um—borrow the CD?” he said with difficulty. There was something about that song, but it didn’t make it less embarrassing to admit to his parents that he liked it.
From this moment I have been blessed
I live only for your happiness
And for your love I'd give my last breath
From this moment on
Just as he expected, his father chuckled heartily and his mother laughed and both seemed unable to control themselves for some time.
“You like this song, son?” his father finally said, still smiling widely.
“I—um—well…” James stammered, and cringed inwardly at his own stupidity.
“I think someone’s got bitten by the love bug,” his mother teased like she used to when he was little. Before he met Lily Evans.
“Hey!” James complained. “I’m sixteen, not five, okay?”
His father laughed again and said, “That’s why you should have your fun and kiss your girls and drink a lot.”
His mother made a noise of protest, but his father continued, “Because you’re only sixteen. Leave worrying about ‘living only for her happiness’ and ‘giving your last breath’ until you’re done and old and know for sure you have the girl for you.”
His mother’s face softened and she reached across the couch to grasp his father’s hand. “That’s right, James. Sixteen-year-olds just don’t understand this kind of thing. Don’t worry about it.”
But they didn’t know that James did understand. He would do anything to make Lily happy, if only she would see that. It had been so many years. He lived for Lily, and though the thought was a little scary, he knew he’d die for her too.
From this moment as long as I live
I will love you, I promise you this
There is nothing I wouldn't give
From this moment on
All through sixth-year, they had been at least civil to each other. It had given James hope that Lily didn’t run away from him or hex him when he tried to approach her.
But nothing had happened. At King’s Cross two months ago she had hugged him and bid farewell like she had done all of her other friends, and the rest of the Marauders. She hadn’t written him all summer.
James had retreated quietly from the living room where his parents sat. They were still grinning at the ridiculous idea that a sixteen-year-old could know about true love. But the song had never quite left his head ever since.
And now he was brooding stupidly on his dormitory bed, surrounded by stupidly boisterous seventh-year boys, and immersed in his thoughts, with a stupid song still running through his head.
“Merlin, Prongs, what’s gotten into you?” Sirius asked. “You sit there all day like a lump on a log. I’m worried, mate.” Even Remus, who should’ve been glad at his sudden change of disposition, nodded in agreement.
“Are you sick?” Peter asked.
“I don’t know.” James really didn’t. He felt like he didn’t know anything. How could a song make any difference? How had his parents fallen so in love with each other? Could he just make himself finally give up on Lily?
“I know what’ll cheer you up, mate,” Sirius said. “Slughorn’s Welcome Back to School party is next weekend.” He grinned, clearly expecting James to brighten up too.
James shook his head glumly. “I don’t feel like going, Padfoot.”
But wait, he thought. A party. The image of his parents in the living room flashed in his mind. It was perfect. If this didn’t work, nothing would.
“Professor Slughorn,” James gasped, panting. He had leapt off his bed and run all the way from his dormitory to the Potions’ teacher’s office without explanation. All he held in his hand was a small disk.
“May I help you, Mr. Potter?” Slughorn asked, raising his eyebrows.
“Please, sir…could you play this at your party?”
James had searched frantically through the milling crowd of teenagers at the party for Lily, finally spotting her in the corner. She was talking quietly with one of her friends and looked beautiful in a white sundress.
Keeping close but unnoticed by Lily, James waited impatiently for the CD to come to the song. He looked around.
Sirius was flirting with a pretty sixth-year that he had never seen him talking to before in his life. Tomorrow Sirius would probably not even remember her name. Remus was snogging his Ravenclaw girlfriend in the corner opposite Lily’s, but James knew Remus didn’t even trust his girlfriend enough to tell her his secret. And she didn't care about him enough to notice how sick he was every month.
His parents were right, James thought. They really knew nothing of love.
Then the sweet and simple melody sounded through the room, and almost everyone became silent at once. What in the world was Slughorn playing? they all thought. Only James knew, and the knot in his stomach loosened a little as he heard the lady on the track start singing.
Lily was no longer talking to her friend, but had wrapped her arms around her middle and stood swaying to the music by herself, eyes gazing into the distance. James took a deep breath and walked over.
“Hey,” he whispered.
He seemed to call Lily back from a trance, not unlike his parents. Lily had an uncharacteristically soft expression on her face as she raised her eyes to his and whispered back. “Isn’t this song so beautiful? My parents used to play it at night when they thought I was sleeping.”
“I like it too.” His eyes were serious, but she didn’t believe him.
“You?” she asked incredulously. “I wouldn’t have—”
“Shhh,” James cut her off, laying a finger across her lips. He listened for where the song had played to. He needed time.
You're the reason I believe in love
And you're the answer to my prayers from up above
All we need is just the two of us
My dreams came true because of you
“Do you hear that, Flower?” he asked. “You’re the reason I believe in love. My dreams came true because of you.”
“James, it’s just a song—” she protested, but she had thought quite differently a second before.
James extended a hand. “Dance with me?”
Lily smiled in spite of herself and took his hand. She wrapped her arms around his neck. Everyone around them turned to stare in disbelief. James could hardly belive it himself.
I give my hand to you with all my heart
Can't wait to live my life with you, can't wait to start
You and I will never be apart
My dreams came true because of you
“So which James are you going to be tomorrow?” Lily asked conversationally, but her voice broke and betrayed her unhappiness. “The one who turns my hair blue for fun, who kidnaps me in the middle of the night for a broomstick ride that almost kills both of us, and who thinks he’s God’s best gift to the world?”
She paused, lowering her eyes. “Or the one who asks me to dance to love songs?” she whispered.
James grinned. “I’m both of them. No, I’m neither of them. I’m the James that would spend the rest of my life with you…right now, if you agreed. If you ever agreed. I can wait, Lily. I can wait for as long as you want me to.”
Lily smiled at him with new understanding. It was nice, but painful. He wasn’t at all like who she thought he was.
“Maybe someday,” she whispered, settling into his chest. “But only if you behave yourself.”
It was the happiest day, the happiest moment, of James’s life.
From this moment as long as I live
I will love you, I promise you this
There is nothing I wouldn't give
From this moment
I will love you as long as I live
From this moment on
A/N: Sweet, isn't it? Please leave a review! It means a lot to me.
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