Disclaimer: J.K. is the mighty supreme goddess of our universe as we know it. All bow to her.
A/N: Hey all. So yeah. I know I took basically a year to update this story. But I found my groove again (lol, yes I am a very lame person), so hopefully this chapter doesn't disappoint. Thanks for anyone who is still following. And let me just make it clear that I'm sorry for not posting sooner. Hugs to everyone!
Chapter Five: No Lies, Just Love.
So the walk back from the forest was a tad awkward.
Good to know things are getting back to normal.
I was almost afraid I was seeing a different side of James Potter.
And Dylan actually came running over to see me.
As in a full out run. Right into my arms.
Like I was the yellow finish line he was running to after a marathon.
It was probably the yellow stripe on my tank top.
James nearly wet himself when this happened.
In fact, I may need to grab him a towel.
Oh dear, Sirius just said something over the laughter inside my head.
“Erm…what, Black?” I said quietly.
My inability of being able to pay attention is actually getting a little embarrassing.
He wants to watch a movie.
Me, in a dark room with those two?
That is only acceptable in the Potions room at Hogwarts.
Well if Dylan wants to go, then I guess I really have no choice.
I must follow my sheep wherever he wanders off to.
At least we won’t have to talk during the movie.
Oh, silver linings.
Of every single movie in the whole manor they choose Aladdin.
How very queer.
I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love this movie.
But seventeen year old boys?
Sometimes I wish I could just live inside their minds for an hour.
But that would be creepy.
So we’re sitting on the couch. THE couch, as in singular. One couch.
Apparently, Sirius and James feel the need to cuddle with each other on one couch whilst watching movies.
With Dylan and I right next to them.
I swear, if Potter so much as thinks about putting his arm around me, I’ll cut off his hair.
“Oh by the way, Evans, we invited Moony over so he should be here any minute.”
That’s really great.
One more kid for me to babysit.
Now Remus Lupin, (heaven knows nor cares why his nickname is Moony), actually makes for some good company.
When he’s not surrounded by marauders, that is.
But hopefully he’ll have changed. I mean, he did come of age this summer.
Adulthood can be character changing.
Here’s to wishful thinking.
“Okay that’s fine, I haven’t seen him since June.”
Well, it’s true.
“Oh, him you’re happy to see. Great Lily, pick favorites,” Sirius joked.
Can’t help it.
“I’m not picking favorites, Black, I was stating a fact.”
Honestly, the way that boy translates things is beyond me.
And what is with his hair. It’s worse then James’.
If I shaved his head and sold his hair to balding men, at least five of them would have a full head of hair.
It’s almost womanly how long its getting.
I bet even Severus cut his hair by now. And he’s not exactly known for having short hair.
“Sirius, can I cut your hair?”
Should have zoned back into the conversation at hand before chiming in.
“Erm...what? I thought we were talking about you being in love with Moony?”
Oh, so that’s what they were talking about.
What else should I say?
Why is James leaning closer to me?
“You can cut my hair anytime you like, Lily..”
Only James Potter would have been able to make that sentence sexual.
Does that count as a pick-up line? It’s borderline.
But I mean, he is within ten feet of me. The formula should be fully in effect.
Oh, saved by Remus, thank god.
“Moony!” yelled James and Sirius simultaneously.
Wow, he apparated right into the room. Impressive.
“Lily Evans! You look wonderful, what’s new?”
Aww, that was cute.
“Her company…just some good loving.”
James Potter. Ack. Why he feels the need to answer for me is so retarded.
“Potter! I can speak for myself, you know!”
Oh no, Remus is laughing.
Why is Remus Lupin laughing?
“I see nothing has changed between you two. Good to know.”
Oh. Well, yeah. I guess.
“Actually Moony, she’s falling head over heels for me. By the end of the summer, we’ll be engaged.”
I thought James stopped this charade.
And to think, I was thinking about considering a friendship with the boy.
He only has one thing on his mind.
“I’m sorry James, I don’t plan on getting married while I’m still at school. How would that look if the new head girl was engaged to the biggest player in school?”
That wasn’t really that mean.
But only because I know for a fact that he’s not the biggest player in school anymore.
And why are they all smirking at each other like grinning idiots?
I don’t have the energy for this anymore.
“What is so funny?”
I swear, someone better answer me soon.
This always happens. You hang out with the marauders and you become completely out of the loop.
“Evans, funny story..” Sirius started.
I have no idea what this could be about this time.
“Guess who got the head boy badge in the mail?”
Double oh no.
Please be Remus, please be Remus.
“That’s right Lily, we’re going to be spending a lot more time together this year, isn’t that exciting?”
James Potter head boy?
Has Dumbledore completely fallen off his rocker? Maybe all those muggle candies are finally getting to him. He should have run this one by McGonagall.
Looks like I’m going to be stuck with all the responsibilities. As per usual.
What else can I say?
“I’m sorry, Lily. But please don’t kill my brother, he didn’t get it on purpose.”
Aw, Dylan, I won’t.
Oh no, every time I look at the sheep I just want to tell him the secret.
JAMES IS YOUR COUSIN, NOT YOUR BROTHER!
Why can’t I just scream that into his face.
Oh yeah, Mrs. Potter is a little crazy.
“Um..yeah, Dylan, I’ll try not to completely kill your brother, but I can’t promise anything.”
No lies, just love.
So Aladdin is almost over, and no one is watching it.
A good movie and the boys just have to banter back and forth throughout the whole thing.
Not very quaint.
“So what do you want to do after the movie, Dylan? Your parents should be home within the hour anyways, which would mean that it’s almost supper time.”
Ah, don’t I feel grown up.
“Can I just hang with the guys after, Lils?”
Well, if he really wants to. Who am I to complain?
I can catch up on my reading.
“Yeah sure, I’ll just catch up on my reading.”
Okay good, he looks happy. And he just rested his head on my shoulder. That was rather cute of him. He also has nice black hair. But it’s not messy.
Insert smile here.
“Will you be reading in your room?”
What kind of lame question was that, Potter?
No, I’m going to go for an adventure and am going to read upon your rooftop.
I need to stop with the sarcasm.
Who asks that anyways?
“Well, I was just thinking that you never replied to my email, and since you’ll be in your room and everything, it seems like a good time.”
It’s not like it hasn’t even been 24 hours since I received his email, and it’s not like I’ve been busy doing my job all day causing no available time to reply...oh wait!
Ugg, again with the sarcasm.
McGonagall actually told me that it was really unbecoming of me. Whatever that means.
My friends don’t think I’m weird because of my sarcasm, do they? Nope. Absolutely not. They think I’m weird for other reasons, I’m sure.
“I’ll reply when I get around to it, Potter. Patience.”
And the movie is done. Excellent. Now I can header on down to my room, sit on the Zebra (bed), and curl up with my book.
“Okay, well I’m going to head to my room now then, so you guys have fun.”
“Wait, Lily…we were thinking about making a replica of Hogwarts out of Jenga blocks. Want to join?” James said very hopefully.
That could be fun.
But also weird.
You’d need a lot of Jenga blocks and a crazy imagination.
So they actually managed to somewhat make a castle out of the blocks that actually somewhat looks like Hogwarts.
That, or just a bunch of jenga pieces piled on top of each other at odd angles.
Oh well, it wasn’t too bad.
Got to talk with Remus. Who, as it seems, was sick twice this summer. That’s not pleasant, I hope he feels better now.
“James? Dylan? Lily? I’m home! Wash up for dinner. Fifteen minutes, dears.”
Mrs. Potter is home. How quaint.
And I’m starving, which is good.
“Come on guys, lets go wash up.”
Well really, time’s a wasting.
“Dylan can you go ask mom if these two can stay for dinner?”
Nice Potter, sending your little cousin to do your errands. How thoughtful of you.
I guess it happens a lot, because Dylan just ran off without even arguing or anything.
What a nice little boy. I should teach him how to stand up to James. God knows I have experience.
“Come on Lily, you and I can go wash our hands in the bathroom down the hall,” James said.
As he pulled out his infamous smirk for the millionth time today.
Is it sad how he takes pleasure in being able to wash his hands next to me?
Talk about a wonderful bonding experience.
Oh well, might as well humor him. After all, we are going to be head boy and girl together come September.
“Okay, let’s go then, James.”
And I got up and left.
But he must think I’ve got feathers in my ears or something, because right after I said that he actually whispered to Sirius ‘she called me James!’.
As if I wouldn’t hear.
Sometimes I really do wonder about that boy.
His mind seems to be a tad off balance.
Maybe it’s his hair.
“So, I’m glad you played jenga with us. I know it’s lame, but sometimes lame things can be fun?”
“Yeah, I agree, don’t worry. It was good times.”
And we’re nearing the bathroom.
Am I supposed to wash my hands first? Or do I let him? I mean after all, this is his house. This is his sink. But I’m the guest. Uh oh: dilemma.
Okay, we’re entering the sink area.
Oh, he stepped back. I guess that means he’s offering me the facilities. That’s nice of him. Props.
Please don’t say anything awkward.
“There’s something I really want to do, but I’m afraid of the repercussions.”
“Like I don’t want things to get awkward between us.”
They already are.
“I just wish you could read minds. This would be a whole lot easier.”
I was never quite skilled at Occlumency.
“Look, you know I like you. Can you honestly say that you feel nothing back?”
I’ll lose my job.
“If I kiss you right now, will you accept it like you know you want to? Or will you just curse me right into next year?”
Could be interesting to find out.
But not worth losing a job over.
“James, I don’t want to lose this job.”
He looks dumbfounded.
Wash your hands, idiot.
Oh no, he’s coming closer. No, no, no. Not fair.
I swear to god.
How do you pull away from someone?
I don’t have much experience with guys.
Why is my heart beating a thousand times per minute?
His eyes really are quite pretty.
What do I do with my hands? I guess just let them hang on either side of me like some caveman.
His lips are soft.
“James, I’m sorry, but we can’t.”
I know, not the nicest thing in the world.
But I had to get out of there.
I would be fired faster then you can say charms.
And now I’m heading toward the dinner table.
Ah, this is going to be awkward.
Why is it that the people we can’t stand most, suddenly become the most desirable?
When did we learn that in school?
Okay so dinner was surprisingly enough not awkward.
James was smiling like an idiot of course.
As was Sirius.
As was Remus.
But other then that, nothing out of the ordinary.
Except for my increasing curiosity to kiss James again and see what would happen if I did not pull away.
Did I just think that?
Well anyways, I’m back in my room now.
The marauders went home. I was almost fearing that they were going to sleep over. But they left. Only to come back tomorrow though, I’m sure.
So I’m on the Zebra.
Honestly, who goes to the store and purposely picks out Zebra striped sheets for a guest bed. Was Mrs. Potter just in a safari kind of mood one day?
Oh look, a new message.
Honestly, it must be after midnight.
I wonder who it’s from..
Hey, it’s James again. You know, sometime you’re going to have to get around to answering my emails, crazy. Okay, I’m sorry, I’ll cut the small talk. So about what happened at the sink earlier…I need your thoughts, dear. Because I’m pretty stoked, and it was hard holding off until now to write to you. Anyways, if you don’t completely hate me and think I’m the ugliest, bad kisser you’ve ever met…meet me in the kitchen in ten minutes?
P.S. Bring a sweater.'
Well, curiosity increased on my part.
I wonder which sweater I should bring?
Definitely the yellow one.
Okay, I’ll just brush my hair quickly and then attempt to find the kitchen in this currently pitch black manor.
The kitchen, well not to mention the whole house, is quite creepy at this hour. He better be here.
“Over here. Put on your sweater, grab a thermos from the table, and follow me.”
Apparently I do exactly as I am told.
For I now have a warm thermos filled with some form of hot liquid in my hands and am following James Potter outside towards his backyard.
The air is surprisingly chilly for a hot summers day. But then again, it does drastically cool down at night.
Wow, I could be a weather person. Except that is the extent of my impressive knowledge on weather. Oh well, can’t have everything I guess.
“What are we doing?”
An honest question.
And quite justified if I do say so myself.
“I want to show you something. Okay, lay down on your back.”
“Just, okay, lay down next to me on the grass here.”
But why…oh. Oh my gosh you can see hundreds of stars from down here.
Makes sense since we’re not exactly near the city lights.
Okay so that was lame and cheesy but I’ve never seen so many stars!
He’s moving closer.
“It’s amazing, isn’t it? I made hot chocolate for us if you’re wondering what’s in the thermos. But yeah, you can see so many stars from here, I just wanted to show you how beautiful it is.”
“Makes you feel so small, doesn’t it?” I asked.
His fingers are getting awfully close to mine.
“I know. It makes it seem like your problems are just miles away as long as you’re here in the present looking at the sky.”
Okay, his fingers have intertwined in mine.
And I don’t want to pull away.
Why don’t I want to pull away?
Because it’s cold out?
Okay, I need to distract myself with conversation outside of my head.
“So do you think there’s life out there?”
A fair question. And also a very difficult one to answer.
Ok, it's lame.
Oh good, he’s pondering it.
And squeezing my hand harder.
No, don’t think about that.
Please say something soon..
“Well, I don’t know. I mean, there’s really no evidence or anything for it. But personally…if the things on this planet are the only living things in the whole existence of everything out there…well I just think that would be an awfully big waste of space, don’t you?”
Well put, Mister.
“Yeah, that makes sense. I guess it’s just one of those things that we’ll never find out in our lifetime.”
Cute. But that really wasn’t that funny at all.
“So do you want to talk about it?”
I can’t read minds. I thought we’d already been over this.
“The kiss, love.”
Well, I guess so?
“What about it.”
That was stupid.
“You didn’t pull away right away, so does that mean…”
“But I did pull away.”
“Okay so if you weren’t working here, would you have pulled away?”
I honestly don’t know how to answer that one.
“Look James, I am working here. Can’t we just see how things go? See if we can start a good friendship at Hogwarts first, I mean we will be the heads of the school together. That means being forced to spend time together.”
He looks disappointed.
Sigh, I would be too if I were in his shoes.
This is the worst shut down I’ve ever had to do.
Because I don’t think my heart’s 100% into it.
Not good. Warning.
“I can’t wait much longer. You know I will, but it’s getting really hard. I’ve liked you for years and finally when you’re starting to be more then civil to me, you want me to back away? For the rest of the summer? A whole month? And then start up something small at Hogwarts? You’re slowly killing me Lily Evans, I hope you know that.”
Which is why I wonder how on earth he can still be into me?
Seriously, I’ve wondered about this every summer. Every day at Hogwarts. After every shut down I’ve had to offer him.
James Potter, you’re slowly killing me as well.
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