5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by BBHP { fresh pickled toads }

20th April 2017:
Sassy Al. This story is so intriguing and fun. Like, Harry Potter is really REAL and I can't wait to see how this messes with everyone.

Author's Response: Sassy Al indeed! I'm so glad you find the story still intriguing thus far, it makes me happy. Haha, yeah, that's what I was wondering when I thought of this story!

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Review #2, by AbraxanUnicorn { fresh pickled toads }

20th April 2017:
Hurrah, a new chapter! Thought I'd drop in with a review :)

Wow, Anjali and Hansika have quite the potty-mouths on them! I wonder what their parents must think of all their swearing?!

Lunchtime tables and the fact that people gravitate to the same place each time, until they think of it as "their" space - how true that part is. I'm glad that Hansika's friends didn't do anything more than glare.

I'm still getting my head around the plot, but I now have a theory as to what's going on. Hansika thinks that her Harry Potter books are entirely fictional, and she doesn't realise they are written about a family (the Potters) who actually exist? Although that doesn't explain why all 3 Potter kids are getting a muggle education. Hmm. May need to go back to the drawing board on that...

Hehe! I loved Al's playful reference to "a green pickled toad" regarding his eye colour. Made me smile. And Jamie/Lila's "yikes" expressions. I bet the Harry Potter references made him squirm, if I'm on the right track?

It's too early in for me to comment much on characterisation. Hansika seems quite confident in some ways, but also quite insecure in others. I found it sad that she seems to think that a boy wouldn't want to kiss her. Anjali seems to have a good friendship with Hansika, despite her being quite a forward, effervescent sort of person in contrast to Hansika's slightly more reserved approach to life.

Couple of bits of CC, which I hope you don't mind? There's a bit of a switch around with tenses from present to past and back to present again, especially in the first few sentences. Also, a "James" has sneaked in halfway through, I'm presuming in place of what should be "Jamie"?

Anyway. I thought this was a good chapter; easy to read and follow, and it flows well. Looking forward to the next one :)

Brax X

Author's Response: Your reviews always make me smile!

They do have a tendency cuss a lot, but isn't that what nearly every teenager does these days? It wouldn't be that uncommon to hear a bad word like that mixed in every other sentence.

I know! It's so true, and the commentary on that was highly reminiscent of what happened with me when I joined a new table to sit with a friend. It's unnerving how uncomfortable people are when a certain norm is broken.

Your theory is pretty on point, but I won't say anything about the muggle education. I don't want to give everything away.

The playful references and how Jamie and Lila reacted to that are both supposed to be a contrast to their characters, to how they both feel about their situation with their family. Jamie and Lila are both uncomfortable, but Al's comfortable enough to make jokes about it albeit having only a subtle connection to his parents.

I suppose they are quite like that. I don't really notice because I write them how I am with my closest friend. Don't feel to sorry about her thinking a boy wouldn't want to kiss her. Of course, she does feel that way, but it's not a particularly strong emotion, or a point of interest for her. She just feels neutral about it, and she jokes about it too. It's also how I feel about this too, since that comment came right out of one of the the things I have told my friends.

I will never, ever mind helpful criticisms. Tenses have always been hard for me, but I'll still see what I can fix. The Jamie-James slip up was a mistake, whoops! That's okay, it's supposed to be obvious who Jamie, Al, and Lila are, just not to Hansika. Poor her.

I'm glad it flowed easy, especially because when I wrote it, it came easy.

Thank you so much for taking the time to review!


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Review #3, by BBHP { off their rockers }

13th April 2017:
I loved reading this and cannot wait for the next chapter! I love the setting of this story - not the typical fanfiction. The characters are hilarious and awkward and it makes it so fun to read. So creative. You should probably just drop everything and spend all of your time writing more chapters ;)

Author's Response: This is so sweet of you??? Really???

Thank you for all the compliments, it shows me that someone appreciates what I have to offer, and that's a really motivating feeling, you know?

I wish I could spend my time writing it, but alas, life impedes.

I'm on a schedule for this story, so I can safely tell you that there might be a chapter next week.


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Review #4, by AbraxanUnicorn { off their rockers }

5th April 2017:
Hello :)

Ooh, second chapter! I was quite excited when I saw this in the recently added section, yay! Oh - etc etc is an amazing fic; I love it too :)

I'm really glad we get to see and learn a little more about Al in this chapter. I loved the interactions between him and his siblings, although Lila and Jamie sound slightly bonkers (but in a good, funny way). I'm intrigued as to what's going on and I can't quite work the plot out at the moment, but that's okay; I'm enjoying the journey to who knows where!

Thanks for the update. Great chapter - and I look forward to the next one :)

Brax X

Author's Response: "Lila and Jamie sound slightly bonkers (but in a good, funny way)" I'M CACKLING

I mean seriously, that was totally how I meant for them to be. They are bonkers, and it is meant to annoy people, yes. Much like the Hitachiin twins, actually like I mentioned. They're famous (in the wizarding world) but they scare away their fans by annoying them bless

The plot isn't supposed to be worked out in the story right now, but you'll start seeing hints as soon as third chapter. It's obvious but also is kind of like? It looks like something, obviously, but it also looks like nothing of importance. And to be honest, the plot is a ball of tangled up headphones. I'm not sure how to straighten it out and I give up a second after trying.


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Review #5, by AbraxanUnicorn { meet }

18th March 2017:
Hello!

This is an intriguing start to a story and quite unlike anything I've read before :) Your writing has pulled me in and now I really want to know what's going on? I'm guessing somehow Al and his family have ended up in an alternate reality where they actually exist?

I like your teenage Al; it's similar to how I picture him in my head. Just out of curiosity, in which country is this story set? Apologies if I missed something obvious!

I can't wait to see where you take this story, I think it has huge promise! BTW, I'm a INFP too ;)

Brax X

Author's Response: Wowie, that was fast.

I totally understand your confusion! I think you mean a reality where they don't exist. And no, it's nothing like that actually. I haven't yet seen a story where the Harry Potter books are available to the muggle world yet (whereas these books in the Wizarding world would be classified as non-fiction), so I guess that's what I'm writing. There's not much I could tell without giving away what the story is about. Oh well, what can you do?

This does take place in Britain actually, but I know why you'd feel that way. I've only ever been to an American school, and the Internet is kind of unhelpful if you haven't experienced going to a educational establishment in Britain!

Thank you for your kind words, my writing style is always ever shifting, and it's nice to know you like it.

P.S. I am an ISFP, one letter off!


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