Reading Reviews for October 31st
  
3 Reviews Found

Review #1, by victoria_anne October 31st

13th March 2017:
Hey Kayla!

So wonderful to see you writing and uploading again! Not gonna lie, when I saw what this was called and what it was about, I was a bit like, "uhhh is this going to make me cry?!" But then I was all, "Nah, James obviously survives. Hooray!" BUT YOU KILL SIRIUS INSTEAD?! Yep, there are tears.

Okay gotta fix this blubbering mess of a review.

I forgot Remus spoke to other werewolves during the war (at least, I think he did? Awkies if not) so I like that you included that.

Wolfstar ♥ I heart them so much, especially when you're behind it, and even when they're fighting.

Man you gave me chills with: "there is a rat inside the Order of the Phoenix". DAMN RIGHT THERE IS. Ugh so sad that that mistrust exists between him and Sirius though, and it's affecting their relationship.

The way you write, especially the interactions between Remus and Sirius just has me glued to the screen.

Even now, even to Sirius, Remus is ashamed of people knowing anything to do with him being a werewolf, and it's very in character and very well done.

Trust Peter to have so many locks on the door. You have all these tiny details included and I just love it so much. That scene is reminiscent of when they caught Peter in the third book.

Argh Sirius with Harry makes my heart melt into a big gooey mess! If you ever write more of them all playing happy families, I would totally be down to read that.

I have nothing to comment on, this piece is so perfect. I was gripped the whole time. Beautiful, beautiful work, Kayla. I hope you write more soon ♥

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Review #2, by dreamgazer220 October 31st

10th March 2017:
Kayla! I'm here for our review swap, and holy crap! Not only am I glad that I got a chance to read this story, but how have I not read your writing before?!

Okay so I have to admit that I was a bit skeptical about this, but you convinced me. You convinced me so much that I was even seeing it like a movie running through my mind, and you had me gripped throughout the entire story.

Let's start with Remus and Sirius. I love the way you wrote them, the way they figured out who the rat was, but I also loved Remus' inner thoughts about their relationship and how it was failing. This line in particular really stood out to me: He never used to notice the flaws so much back when they first moved in; they were young and in love, and the flat was shabby but it was theirs. Hes not sure exactly when the dripping tap became louder than their morning conversations, but now it seems to be all he hears. It just felt so realistic and so painful becuase things are different, but when did that happen? It's easy to imagine that happening over the time of war, especially when they can't really seem to trust each other. I really think you did their relationship justice and my heart was breaking for them the entire time. And when they thought the other one was a Death Eater and Remus had Sirius roll up his sleeves? JUST TAKE MY HEART OKAY.

I also loved their personalities in this. You did an amazing job of showcasing Sirius' loyalty to the Potters and showing us his bravery, too. And poor Remus, I can't imagine having to try and convince the werewolves to get on his side and then not being able to talk to Sirius about it. Their love was just so tragic in this story, I really felt for them.

And OKAY, when they both stormed Peter's hide-out! THAT WAS AWESOME. I was getting all excited, thinking that they were all going to live happily ever after, except for maybe Peter, because, well, he's a rat.

AND THEN YOU WENT AND YOU KILLED SIRIUS INSTEAD, WHAT. HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?! I'm actually pretty impressed because I know he's your favorite character so I definitely wasn't expecting that ending from this piece. I really thought they were all going to make it, but then I guess Harry wouldn't be the Boy Who Lived anymore. :'( And poor Remus, having to find his body like that! UGH.

So if you couldn't tell, I really loved this and I think you did an amazing job creating a different reality. Everything felt authentic, from their personalities to their relationships. The language and descriptions you used were on point, and it was a smart choice to tell this in present tense because it really helped with the pacing and keeping me intrigued.

Excellent job, thanks for the swap!
♥ Jill

Author's Response: Hey Jill! So sorry I took a while to respond to this.

Well, I'm very glad to hear that I convinced you! :) Yeah, Sirius and Remus break my heart. I always see it as such a tragic relationship (mostly towards the end) and I'm glad I managed to capture that here.

I'm so happy that you liked the scene at Peter's house. I've never really written anything so action-y before so I was really nervous about it.

Hahaha! I was definitely trying to take people by surprise with that ending. When I was trying to figure out what I was going to do for the challenge, I was really focusing on ideas where Harry would still be the Boy Who Lived, so I knew someone still had to die. I toyed with Neville getting chosen instead or Lily still dying, but I thought this would surprise people the most.

Thank you so much for the wonderful review, Jill! We'll have to swap again sometime!

-Kayla


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Review #3, by TreacleTart October 31st

28th February 2017:
Hey Kayla,

Just dropping by to leave you a review. You already know that I loved this story. I thought you did a beautiful job of creating an alternate scenario where James didn't die. You certainly surprised me with the twist at the end. I never expected it coming from you.

I do love how Remus and Sirius came to the conclusion that Peter was the mole. I thought it was really clever how you played with the two of them blaming each other and it all dawning on them. I thought you did a great job of capturing the sheer terror in that moment when Sirius realizes its Peter.

You did a great job of showing off Sirius' best qualities in this. His loyalty to his friends. His instinctive need to protect him. It was easy to understand why his friends loved him so.

Your writing was really good in this too. It was really polished and clean. Your description was on point. Really great work there!

I'm so excited to see new writing from you! I hope you'll be posting more soon. :)

~Kaitlin

Author's Response: Hi Kaitlin,

Thank you! I'm really excited that you liked this, since I wrote it for your challenge, and I'm even more excited that I managed to surprise you because wanting to surprise you was how I came up with the idea in the first place hahaha

I'm happy to hear you say that I captured Sirius's loyalty and protective instincts in this, because I feel like those things haven't been very prominent in my other stories about him, yet they're such a big part of why I love him so much.

And yay, a description compliment! I struggle with description a lot so it always means so much to get compliments on it.

I hope I'll be posting more soon too! Hahaha.

Thank you so much for the lovely review!

-Kayla


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