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8 Reviews Found

Review #1, by nott theodore the power

2nd April 2017:
Abbi! Hello! I thought it was about time you also got some love for all your hard work in the CTF game (and also just because I like reading my friends' stories).

Anyway, I really enjoyed this first chapter! I already really like Lettie, and I was sympathising with her from the very start of the chapter, because really, who needs that much embarrassment when it's the start of the school term? Especially since it turns out that the embarrassment wasn't her fault, but Louis was actually causing her to be embarrassing (more on that later).

One thing I really liked was the way that you introduced the little details about her, like her love of pink coconut ice - not just mentioning it, but her friends giving it to her to cheer her up. I think that was a great way of showing the depth of the friendship between these three girls, too, since they clearly know each other very well. I liked the dialogue between them, too. It made me laugh that they didn't really try to comfort Lettie too much, or lie to her about how embarrassing she'd been. I think it really shows how close they are when friends do that.

(Also, as a side note, I would like to second Lettie's comment about nobody ever remembering all the good things that you do. Everyone just remembers the silly and embarrassing things. I feel her pain.)

There were a couple of things I noticed here that just took away a little bit from how smoothly the rest of the chapter read, like some run-on sentences. They're only tiny things which are easy to fix, though. If you want a hand looking over it or anything, feel free to ask :)

I thought it was really good of Dom to tell Lettie that Louis had been using his powers on her, which is why Lettie's been doing so many embarrassing things around Louis. Her reasoning behind telling her, and not using the powers herself, are really believable, and I'm glad she said something. I also like how defensive and protective of Lettie her friends became when they heard, because it really isn't okay.

I'm not sure if this is going to become a Louis/OC story in the future, but I'd definitely be interested in seeing what his explanation for using his powers on Lettie is, especially since he can control them... there's going to be a lot of explaining for him to do - if he can get anywhere near Lettie without Cash hitting him again, that is :P

I really enjoyed this first chapter, and I'll try and get back soon to read more chapters of this!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Sian!

I lovelovelove this review. you're such a sweetheart!

I'm glad you liked the interaction between the girls as I really want their friendship to be part of the story as well as a romantic aspect of it which will obviously feature. I look forward to your reviews in the future and to see how you like the character development etc..

I'll tweet you about a bit of extra help with grammar issues! you're the best! xo

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Review #2, by scintillated captain potter

24th February 2017:
i really liked this chapter! i'm so glad that we get to see why louis did what he did, and now, i sympathize with him so much more :) can't wait for the next one!

Author's Response: thank you so much! I've very pleased the reactions. I can't wait to write more, I'm doing quite a bit of Lettie/Louis interaction in the next chapter soon. Louis isn't a bad person but he's handling his emotions terribly like most blokes! so pleased to receive your review xo

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Review #3, by RubyEyes123 captain potter

20th February 2017:
I've been reading this story since the beginning and so far It is going great, I love the story idea and the plot line so far. Keep up the good work and update as soon as possible. Great Story!!

Author's Response: aww, thank you so much for reviewing! I'm so pleased that you're enjoying this! hopefully you'll like the next chapter, I better get my skates on writing it then! thank you so much again! :) xx

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Review #4, by loverofcolours captain potter

20th February 2017:
keep them coming! please update asap

Author's Response: thank you so much for your review! so pleased that you're enjoying this! I've noticed that you've reviewed before too, I'm really chuffed that you liked it enough to review more than once! I'll try not to keep you waiting too long! lovely people like you keep me going! :) xo

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Review #5, by scintillated the party

10th February 2017:
this is great!! i really like it a lot, and i cannot wait for the next chapter. fingers crossed that louis will finally get to explain himself!!

Author's Response: yay! i'm glad you're enjoying it so far! I'm working on chapter 3 at the moment. there will be plenty of time for Louis to explain himself! xo

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Review #6, by scintillated the power

10th February 2017:
haha this is really nice! i've never read a story where ~the veela power~ really comes into play so i'm excited to see where this goes :)

Author's Response: thanks for your review! I'm looking forward to this too! it's an idea that's been in my head for a while so I thought it was time to tell it. :) X

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Review #7, by loverofcolours the power

8th February 2017:
please write more! love it

Author's Response: hi!

I'm glad you've enjoyed the first chapter! I've just put 2nd chapter in the queue so won't be too long before you see this story pop up again! :)

thanks for your support xx

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Review #8, by blackzero the power

7th February 2017:
Interesting storyline. Veela Superpower

Author's Response: I've had this idea for a while so I decided to finally write it out! hopefully you'll like how it progresses!

thanks for reviewing :) xx

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