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Review #1, by lia_2390 The Meeting

14th November 2016:
Hi there! I'm ailhsa23 from the Ravenclaw Tower here with your review.

I loved HP and the Cursed Child, especially the Albus + Scorpius relationship. I often got the inkling that it was more than just platonic.

Anyway, I really liked where you're going with this. The exploration of the relationships Draco and Astoria might have had beyond their families and friends at Hogwarts, especially after the war.

A few things I would caution you on is introducing so many characters at once. You did make Lexi's linkage to the Potters, Granger-Weasley clan known and all of a sudden, Teddy appears and we've barely gotten to know your main characters. Speaking of which, I really like Lexi. It seems as though she had her son at a young age, and I'm interested in reading more about how she came to be where she is.

Perspective is important here too. I feel like if you're going to interchange them, perhaps allow one of them to have their voice heard for more than one scene. I noticed in both chapters, you jump around a bit. Since you are using third person, you'll have to decide whose eyes your audience reads from. Taka, for instance, his POV would have been great throughout this chapter - one: he never saw Malfoy Manor before, so he could describe it for us, and his thoughts of his mother's reaction to being there again. On the flip-side, writing it from Lexi's perspective - this is important, her narrative reveals her own apprehension of being at the Manor, and certainly about seeing Draco again. If you choose to continue the omniscient POV, then each person should have at least a scene and carefully flow between each others. (I hope that makes sense - basically, if you write Lexi's, it should flow nicely into Taka's.)

Another thing about perspective here is you can alternate chapters, so Lexi's is the first, Taka is the next.

Okay, then there is dialogue vs description. I found this chapter to be leaning more on the dialogue side. A healthy balance can work well. here to appeal to both sides of the audience.

I hope this was helpful. I already want to see where these characters go, and I'm already shipping Draco/Lexi with all my heart and soul.

If you have any questions, don't hesitate to drop me a PM.

- Lia

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