Reading Reviews for Hopeless Manifestations
  
22 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Strawberries202 Of Prefects And Panics

15th January 2017:
I love the characters so far! Aria is so complex, but I like that about her, it's more relatable for me that way. I'm looking forward to how the story continues to grow and develop. And don't worry about the story, I like it the way it is. It's serious, which I like, but it does make me wonder what will happen to Aria when the Sacred Eight find out about how she really isn't like them. And how the general population of Hogwarts will react to her being a Rosier.

Best of Luck!

-MK

Author's Response: Thank you, it's nice to hear you love them and Aria. I'm so glad you think she's complex because I really didn't want her to come across as two dimensional as there are quite a few sides to her though not in a two faced sort of way, more down to the fact that she has to act differently around different people. Things will certainly get hard for her when James finds out she's a Rosier and when Keres and Co find out she's not like them. I hope you stick around to see it all go down, thanks for the review!

~ Charlie ~


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Review #2, by adorably cute Of Prefects And Panics

9th January 2017:
Oh this is so good! Just read this all, loving it so far!

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm really pleased that you love it, and I hope you continue to :)

~ Charlie ~


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Review #3, by luna1306 Of Prefects And Panics

9th January 2017:
No aria don't do it you're just going to get in trouble!
It's not worth it, she should stay away from Potter but yeah what fun would that be for the story?

Update soon

Author's Response: Aria certainly has a knack for getting herself into less than desirable situations and hey, who doesn't love a good story where all the wrong decisions are made you're right ahah. I'm already writing the next chapter as we speak, well type.
Thank you!

~ Charlie ~


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Review #4, by luna1306 Of Cauldrons And Conundrums

8th January 2017:
Great story!

I really need to know what the numbers mean!!
I love that you use all these fancy words it makes me feel very intelligent even though I have no idea what they mean.

Update soon please!

Author's Response: Don't worry, the next chapter is already in the queue waiting to be validated so should be up within the next 24 hours and you get to find out about the numbers :)
I'm glad you love the pretty words because I do too, especially the colour names ahah.

Thank you for leaving a review and I hope you continue to enjoy Aria's adventures,

~ Charlie ~


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Review #5, by bella_heath Of Cauldrons And Conundrums

3rd January 2017:
This story is really enjoyable, I like how you've written Aria. Ravenclaws are my favourite ;)

Look forward to seeing how the story progresses and the mystery of the numbers...eerie!

Author's Response: I'm happy to hear that you're enjoying it and that you like Aria's character, and thank you for the review!
Yey for Ravenclaws! I'm actually a Gryffindor but, personally, I find the other houses more fun to write about (because then they're not around James & Co constantly).
You'll find out about the numbers in the next chapter which should be put in the queue within the next few days :)

~ Charlie ~


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Review #6, by shewhomustnotbenamed_ Of Cauldrons And Conundrums

3rd January 2017:
Really enjoying this story. I like arias personality and her sarcasm is great.

Author's Response: I'm glad to hear that you like both the story and Aria woo! She can be very sarcastic when she wants to be ahah.
Thanks for the review and I hope you continue to enjoy future chapters :)

~ Charlie ~


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Review #7, by Kristina1990 Of Desserts And Deceits

20th December 2016:
Ha! I like it :). It's perfect, filler or not :D.

Author's Response: Thank you, I'm glad!

~ Charlie ~


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Review #8, by Kristina1990 Of Cauldrons And Conundrums

19th December 2016:
“If only you were to put as much effort into your punctuality as you do flirting with these girls here then maybe you would actually make it to your lessons on time."

I like this guy.

“Do you know me,” he repeated, “and by that I don't mean did you read one of those pathetic Witch Weekly articles or follow me around everywhere I go like those fourth years seem to, I mean do you really actually know me.”

Very fair point.

“So you admit that I'm talented?” he called after me.

Looks like he always needs to have the final word.

I really liked this chapter. I figured out again why I never wanted to share a dorm with four other people (I would be Zoey) ;).

Author's Response: I didn't intentionally plan on having any overly sarcastic teachers, but as I wrote he just kind of appeared and I'm rolling with it, I like him ahah.
Neither of them really know the other, they just have a lot of prejudiced views which really need sorting out but he certainly has to have the last word, that's just James :)
See I'd be the opposite, I would wake up at the crack of dawn and be bored for like two hours whilst everyone else is sleeping ahah.
Thank you for another review and I hope you continue to enjoy!

~ Charlie ~


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Review #9, by Lady G Of Cauldrons And Conundrums

18th December 2016:
Oh, James, really? Bubotober pus? *sigh* I hope you had the decency to apologize to Verity since she had nothing to do with what happened. :/

I really appreciated your response to my review from the last chapter, and it's going to be interesting to see James reveal his true self, and I hope that's what Lily was alluding to a bit when she talked to Aria? With the whole "..the high horse he keeps insisting sitting on", like she's leaving clues that her big brother isn't what really what he wants strangers to see.

I'm glad James and Aria actually had a conversation, and hopefully Aria can remember some of his words about how she doesn't really know him (even if James of course couldn't let go of the facade all together), something I hope James can remember if there's a conflict between them-- he doesn't know Aria either. Aaand I'm guessing James has access to his father's copy of Advanced Potion Making? Or he's just ace at potions, that's also an option!

Now, I don't know if it's a mistake or just how you want it to be-- and I feel a bit bad pointing this out, but I'm a stickler for canon ages, lol-- but if James is in his 6th year then Lily can't be fourteen, since she's 4 years below James (2 years below Albus (starts Hogwarts in 2017) who is 2 years below James, who started 2015). Even if you made Albus a 5th year (I can't remember), Lily should be thirteen, unless her birthday was September 1st, of course.

Author's Response: Yeah, bubotuber pus, a bit of a low blow though he can do better. Although it's not seen in the chapter, he does apologise to Verity and it will probably be mentioned in passing in the future. We both know that he's a nicer person than he lets on which is why he is still with Chelsea despite having no romantic feelings towards her. It's not his intention to lead her on, not in the slightest, but he's more annoyed at Aria for her sake rather than his own as he doesn't think Chelsea deserves this.
Lily is smart, and somewhat mysterious. She leaves Aria with more questions than she answers.
They did finally have a conversation woo, although they still have a lot of prejudices towards each other and argue for the sake of arguing. The Half Blood Prince's potion book may have something to do with his skill ;)
No it's not a mistake ahah, and don't feel bad in the slightest! If you ever have anything negative to say feel free, constructive criticism is helpful!
Since I changed the ages and years up I should probably clarify:
James - 6th year | 16 years old.
Albus - 5th year | 15 years old.
Lily - 4th year | 14 years old.
Like you said there should be two years between each but I made it one year. I was originally going to keep their canon ages because I much prefer to if I can but that would make Lily twelve and I wanted to have this sort of mysterious, omniscient and an almost slightly intimidating (not in a cruel way though) air to her and I couldn't get that across from a twelve year old.
But yes, I'm sorry I hope it doesn't bother you too much.
Thanks for leaving another review!

~ Charlie ~


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Review #10, by LittleMissAutumn Of Desserts And Deceits

16th December 2016:
I really like your story so far! You have great writing and I love your use of pretty words! This reads more like a book than a fanfic story and I'm loving it. Aria is me, OMG. We have the same personality haha but trouble is brewing! Her mother is horrid and I'm sure some obstacles are going to come up the more she interacts with the Potters. I'm excited to see how James will react when she starts patrolling with Albus! I hope they become friends. Update soon please. :)

Author's Response: Thank you for reading and leaving a review! I really do have a love of pretty words so I'm glad you feel the same ahah. It honestly means so much that you like my writing style as I'm always scared that it won't come across quite right or it will read weirdly, so the fact that it reads more like a book to you makes me happy.
Oh and trouble is most certainly brewing for her, she just wanted to stay under the radar but life apparently doesn't agree with that plan. I'm excited for you to properly meet Albus (probably in chapter 5, so not too long away) and I also hope you like him, he's going to have his own little story line.
As for the update, you are in luck! I just finished chapter four last night and uploaded it so it will probably be validated and available to read within a day or two. I think it went a lot better than this chapter (which I wasn't very happy with) as a lot more happens so I hope you like it :)

~ Charlie ~


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Review #11, by PaulaTheProkaryote Of Friends And Foes

11th December 2016:
HELLO AGAIN OLD FRIEND!

Okay, I've left you a grand total of one review so old friend might be a little much, but I'm back! I'm stuck in grad school and I'm mostly around on other sites so when I came back tonight I knew I'd have to swing by!

Also you mentioned River Song and YES I LOVE DOCTOR WHO AND I'M SO GLAD YOU MENTIONED MY TRUE LOVE IN THIS CHAPTER.

There you go again with these amazingly descriptive introductory paragraphs that manage to set the scene in such a way that I'm completely sucked in.

I like the fact that it didn't take Molly long to realize she didn't even half way care about the blood purity nonsense. I also like the fact that she was vigilant enough to originally keep an eye on her. It's just another one of those repercussions of war, I suppose! Clio Yaxley sounds like bad news even though she's not too bad apparently. The name Clio just makes me suspicious. It's the name of a very mean girl or a very small dog and I'm not crazy about either.

It hurts my little heart that she can't just be openly friendly (here's to hoping though).

Whoops, I spoke too soon. Ignore Clio, Keres is a monster.

She's a nosey little snot. ALBUS POTTER LOVE OF MY LIFE.

Lowkey kinda super hate James right now. He's skeevy. If he's meant to win over Aria he has a lot of work left! Although I do like the challenge! I loved, loved, loved her dealing with his shenanigans by throwing him into it head on (rather literally). I'm afraid that's just going to pique his interest!

I really liked meeting Zoey too! She's going to be a really good addition to the cast!

Without going on my usual spiel about flow and characterization and blah blah blah (which you nailed all of it), I'll just end this by saying I really enjoyed the chapter and I can't wait to read the next one (even if it's the middle of the night here and I have to be up in a few hours)

Author's Response: PAULA YOU'RE BACK!
(Well I'm assuming that's your name ahah)
Your last review really made me smile so I was so happy when I saw you'd left this one :)
YES DOCTOR WHO WOO, I literally grew up with that show and was really hoping you'd get the reference.
But that's enough of my fangirling, so Molly..
She's a very independent person and likes to formulate all her own opinions rather than believing whatever anyone else says so yes she was weary at first (which she probably should be really) but she is also an accepting person.
And as for Aria she really isn't the very open type bless her soul, Zoey is only person she has ever opened up to, though she is heading in that direction with Molly. As you will see in the coming chapters she's also friendly with her dorm mates and one of Zoey's friends called Aiden, but in his case it's less out of choice, more because he's an overly friendly person who doesn't quite understand the concept of personal space. Despite her being sociable with them all, she doesn't really consider them her friends (although they are, she just doesn't realise it yet) more like classmates who she never opens up to.
Keres is a monster yep.
AND YES YOU LOVE ALBUS, he deserves more appreciation in the next gen universe. If two of your true loves are Albus and Doctor Who then I'm starting to like you more by the second ahah. He's going to have his own story line woven throughout this fic so I hope you like it, I couldn't not give him one.
As for James I agree with 'skeevy' being a good word to describe him so I guess we will see how this one pans out. And you're right, all she's done is sparked both James and Alfie's interest.
I feel like seeing as Aria is so closed off and negative she needed someone to balance all of that out and thus Zoey was born, the complete opposite of Aria (bar their shared love of sarcasm). I hope you continue to like her :)
I'm happy that you thought it flowed nicely because I think that's quite important in a story so wooo thanks!
In case you haven't read chapter three already, I apologise. It's very much just a filler and however many times I rewrote it, it just didn't work. I am, however, almost finished chapter 4 which has gone a lot better so hopefully that will make up for it.

Thanks so much for this lovely review,
~ Charlie ~

(P.S. you get to properly meet Albus in chapter 5)
(P.P.S. Keres too)


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Review #12, by putitonpaper Of Desserts And Deceits

2nd December 2016:
Ah, don't sell this chapter short! I liked this chapter because it gives a window into Aria's thinking and how she interacts with people who aren't her friends or "enemies." Looking forward to how this story progresses!

Author's Response: Aw I'm really pleased that you actually like this chapter, I felt like not much happened and the story didn't really progress but more goes on in the next chapter wooo. I'm about two thirds of the way through writing it so it should be up soon!
Thank you for reviewing again, I really appreciate it.

~ Charlie ~


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Review #13, by Lady G Of Desserts And Deceits

29th November 2016:
Not gonna lie, I hope Aria's meddling blows up in her face, because all it does is prolong Chelsea's suffering, you know? Sure, it annoys James but all he's got to do is break up with her again and he's done with it. And giving out a fake name but choosing the girl who's apparently his biggest fan? I get the point of giving a fake name, but since James knows how Aria looks it wasn't a good choice to pick Verity since it's not going to last for long.

I really like your start even if I'm not a fan of how you've fallien into the old "James is an arrogant idiot"-trap, it would have been nice to see something different, but this is what you went for and I'm sure it will be great! As I said, it's a really good start. I hope we'll see James' positive characteristics soon, or that Aria (who ironically enough is very prejudice against him) will see them.

If you can't tell, I love James to bits and I'm always going to defend him against almost everything, lol. He's always villifyed by the fandom because he dared to tease his little brother, as if that is not a regular occurrence in every family on this planet.
Just as James doesn't know Aria, Aria doesn't know James so I look forward to her getting to know him, and I hope you're stepping out of the "James is an idiot" thing sooner rather than later - I refuse to believe Harry and Ginny would raise a child who'd be a bully, a misogynist and prejudiced, it's totally against what they went through growing up. I can buy James not being mature (he's a teenaged boy after all) and being suspicious of the Sacred 8, because why not? Pureblood-mania has only lead to bad things and the fact that they are still holding on to that after the War is imo gross. I hope he and Aria can find each other there, because it's obvious Aria doesn't agree with her family's thinking.

Sorry if I went off on a rant just there, but I really really like your story, even if it's a bit clichéd in some places (which is not bad, clichés are that for a reason) and were only three chapters in, I think this is going to be great! Can't wait for your next update :)

Author's Response: Don't apologise for going on a rant, I like to hear what you think about things and someone needs to defend him! As for your love of James, that makes me really happy; he's my main man in the next generation and I honestly adore him hence why I decided to write him slightly differently. Right now he is very cliche as you said. He comes across all arrogance extraordinaire, thinks he's Merlin's gift to the wizarding world but he isn't necessarily like that.
See in most of the fics I've read, it has the cliche James is an idiot but the main character slowly starts to change him yet I completely agree with you in the sense that Ginny and Harry would never raise a child like that in the first place.
In this, the potter children all deal with their parents fame differently.
Lily is not bothered, she takes everything in her stride.
Despite not showing it on the outside, Al always feels like a disappointment to his father even though Harry could never see him as that.
James however, struggles with peoples expectations of him. He believes they expect him to be confident, a bit of a womanizer with that slightly arrogant attitude and prejudice towards purebloods so that's who he's tried to be this entire time even though he really isn't that person. His family and close family friends know him as someone completely different and a much better person. He just needs to realise that people will accept for who he is and hell, they will probably like him even more so he needs to take down this facade.
I couldn't make James a bad person at heart as I really do love him but I admit I have fallen into the arrogance cliche ahah.
As for Aria, she truly is a flawed character. She hasn't grown up in the nicest of environments so she always sees the worst in others, including James. In a way, she's in the same situation as him, pretending to be someone she isn't. Her family expects her to be this perfect pureblood child so that's how she acts even though we know that's not her at all.
And don't worry, James will certainly put Aria in her place when the time comes :)
Anyways, I'll stop before I spoil something. Thank you for this long review, I really like to know what other people think of the characters from a different perspective. I hope you continue to read and enjoy!

~ Charlie ~


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Review #14, by putitonpaper Of Friends And Foes

1st November 2016:
The Aria/Molly relationship is super interesting. And I'm such a fan of your James Potter. Obviously the best part of the chapter is this line right here:

“James Potter is looking for you, he was saying something about making a mistake and you being the best he's ever had.”

Ha, pumped to see how Potter gets her back for this :).

Author's Response: Thank you for leaving a review, I'm so sorry it took ages to reply, school has been taking over my life slightly but I'm back now and currently writing chapter 3.
I'm pleased to hear that you're a fan of James despite his blatant idiocy which I'm certain you will all see more of ahah.
And as for that line, let's just say he certainly wasn't happy about it :)

~ Charlie ~


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Review #15, by Kristina1990 Of Friends And Foes

23rd October 2016:
James Potter is looking for you, he was saying something about making a mistake and you being the best he's ever had.

Hahaha... 1:0 for Aria.

I just don't think this was the solution for getting him off her back. Maybe she should tell him a wrong name? That would be funny...

Author's Response: Yeah, that was most certainly not the best solution in terms of getting him off her back, not in the slightest ahah. Although it managed to get rid of him in that moment she will find out soon enough that if anything it means he's going to pester her even more.
I actually really like that idea of her telling him the wrong name. I'd never thought of that before but now you've said it, it's given me an idea so thank you :)

~ Charlie ~


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Review #16, by PaulaTheProkaryote Of Returns And Reunions

17th October 2016:
Hi! I'm Paula and I'm here for HPFT's Werewolf vs. Vampire reviewing event for HPFT Team Werewolf Review!

I don't think it's ever mentioned enough, but I really think you wrote a very strong story summary that made me stop scrolling and actually click. Excellent job there!

One of your major strengths in writing (based on this single chapter I've read) is your writing voice. Especially in the first few paragraphs. It's very engaging and made me want to hurry up and finish this chapter to move on to the next one.

My favorite lines in this chapter were ones like this one: "Be that a sprawling metropolis of interconnected lives each with their own inherent doubts, ambitions and insecurities that you may never once posses in the fleeting time you are given to make your mark on the world." but I think it's brilliant that you juxtapose these sort of lines with characters like Alfie and his undressing eyes and his special private tours.

Whoahoho (idk, I'm trying to make this phrase a thing and as you can tell it hasn't quite caught on yet) I love how you just sneak in casually that she's a Rosier. A ROSIER. That already makes the story even more intriguing.

I seriously love your beautifully crafted main character. She's smart, quick witted, and absolutely snarky. 10/10. I particularly love that instead of being openly defiant she just sort of appeases her mother and then does whatever it is she wants to. I think that's a very viable approach and it's not the expected one that I read so often in fics.

Also, SACRED EIGHT? I love that you've cut them down so much (twenty whole families). Between dying out and marrying out that's just amazing. It shows that they are a dying breed. That will probably just motivate her mother more though.

You said in your author's comment that this wasn't a normal writing style for you and you're a little insecure about it, but I see no reason for that in the slightest! This was a very strong chapter and I can't wait to read the next one!

Paula

Author's Response: Whoahoho (let's make this a thing ahah), I honestly don't know what to say, this is the nicest review I've ever recieved so thank you so much.
Firstly can I just say I'm really glad that you picked up on the little things like the Sacred Eight. At first I was just going keep it as twenty eight but I kind of realised how unrealistic that would be with so many pureblood families being killed in the wizarding wars. Then I planned to cut it down to the Sacred Seven but that just sounded like a low budget superhero movie meaning it got scrapped pretty quickly, and thus the eight was born ahah. And yeah, you're right they definitely are a dying breed in this fic which means they have little power and are repressed by society (which isn't really a bad thing in this case) so although their views of superiority remain the same in the case of the Scared Eight, they can't act upon them like they once did. After the victory in the second wizarding war, society's views changed meaning that purebloods are now seen as inferior and that prejudice is something you will see Aria have to deal with a lot despite her not having the same views as her mother.
An yes a Rosier ahah. I fancied writing something with the main character being a pureblood as I thought the prejudice I mentioned will add another dimension to the story, and I mean, why not go all out and stick a Rosier in there right? Because of these views towards her, she tends to keep to herself and her little group of friends (who you will meet soon, and hopefully like), to the extent where James not only doesn't know her name but is yet to find out that she's actually a pureblood. I don't know if you've read chapter two yet, but they way he acts around her in that will change dramatically when he finds out who she is.
*puts on River Song Voice*
Spoilers.
*sincerely hopes you watch Doctor Who so you understand the reference*
(Apologies, I'm too much of a fangirl)
Also, I thought I'd mention that I'm so so pleased that you love Aria, it wouldn't really be much good if you hated the main character. With the other fic I've published on here, I felt that all my characters felt pretty two dimensional and the writing was a bit all over the place so for you to call her 'well crafted' means a lot as I really tried to get it right this time. I can't say how glad I am that you like the writing style as it was new to me and I really wasn't sure what people would think of it, and with some bits (like the first few paragraphs) being a bit different to how fanfictions are, I didn't know if people would like that either, but you said you loved that bit which makes me happy. And as for the appeasement, something tells me that it won't last forever ahah.
Seriously though, thank you so much for this review because it really made me smile, I hope you continue to read and enjoy Aria's adventures.
Sorry it took so long to reply I've had a fair bit of work to do (A levels will be the death of me) and wanted to write a proper reply so waited until I had time.

~Charlie~


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Review #17, by Ameera  Of Friends And Foes

16th October 2016:
I just discovered your story ! And I love it !!!
I've never read one with the Rosier family but I can't wait to read more !
Aria is an amazing character and James is just like I expected !
Great Job. 🎉❤️

Author's Response: Aw thanks for this review, and I hope you continue to like it ahah.
I'm glad you like Aria as I would hate to have a main character that nobody likes because I don't think anyone would want to read it. I couldn't write a James/OC without making James completely arrogant and self centered which is a little predictable I know but oh well.
Thanks :)

~ Charlie ~


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Review #18, by m Of Returns And Reunions

28th September 2016:
ahh this was SO nice plus i love your writing and the protag is quite interesting too. looking forward to the next chapter!! xx

Author's Response: I'm glad that you enjoyed it thanks for the review!
I'm really pleased that you liked the writing actually as I was worried it wasn't quite right since it's a new writing style for me so it makes me happy to know that people do actually like it yey.
I'm halfway through the next chapter so it should be finished within the following week or two, hope you keep reading and enjoying it :)

~ Charlie ~


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Review #19, by Kristina1990 Of Returns And Reunions

17th September 2016:
For my part, I would like to find out how the tale continues :).

Author's Response: I hope you like the next chapter then, it should be up soon!
Thanks for reviewing,
Charlie


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Review #20, by blackzero Of Returns And Reunions

16th September 2016:
Well the introduction seems excellent.Waiting for next chapter for further character development of Aria.

Author's Response: Aw I'm happy to hear that you enjoyed the introduction and thank you for the review!
As for Aria I'm hoping to develop her into a deep and well rounded protagonist as there's nothing like a bit of good old character development. It annoys me when characters seem shallow or underdeveloped so I'm hoping Aria doesn't turn out the same but I do have a few ideas in mind for her.
Thanks
Charlie


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Review #21, by Nameless Of Returns And Reunions

15th September 2016:
Hi!

I like this so far; interesting and captivating. I like her Ari's muses :) I'm a fan of that type of lit

Anyhow, great job! Can't wait for more

~M~

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing this and I'm so pleased that you want to read on.
After spending all of her life pretending to be someone she clearly isn't and abiding to the pureblood expectations which she despises, Aria really has developed quite an interesting outlook on life which I am honestly quite excited to develop further because I do think it could be quite interesting.
Thanks,
Charlie


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Review #22, by putitonpaper Of Returns And Reunions

14th September 2016:
I really like this! I already want to know more about the Sacred 8. Octavia seems like she'll be a very interesting character. For some odd reason, I picture her falling in love with a Weasley lol -- that's based on nothing. Anyways, great start, I'll be looking out for the next chapter for sure.

Author's Response: I can't believe I've gotten a review this early since it's been up for less than 24 hours so thank you so much for that.
If you do continue reading you'll be sure to find out a lot more about the Sacred Eight as they have some pretty important inputs to the story, and lets just say they aren't quite as harmless as they may seem. Mysterious yet unsurprising ahah.
As for Octavia, she was a complete spur of the moment addition actually, I started writing and she just sort of came into being. I'm glad she interests you though because I do actually have a few ideas for her that I'm hoping to fit in somewhere, I guess we will have to wait and see how that pans out.
Thank you so much for the review and I hope you continue to enjoy future chapters!
Charlie.


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