34 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Violet Potter 434 XII.

20th April 2017:
ummm you gotta write more now

please hurry up with it

you cant just leave me on that

its too good to be left that way

from me xx

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Review #2, by lovegood27 I.

18th March 2017:
Here for Nargles BvB :)

Okay, why have I never left a review or even read this before. *mentally beats up self* This was absolutely hilarious! Lyra's character immediately jumps out to me and it was so much fun to read about her and Scorpius :D

It was interesting to read about a girl who isn't into romance for once. But I get where Lyra's coming from, I would be put off by Albus and Scorpius too (unless she's exaggerating her details lol)

I also liked the way you portrayed the Malfoy family. I already see very little of a next gen Draco as it is, but I honestly have never found a fic that shows him as caring, all for Muggle stuff (movie nights! Why did I get so excited by that?) etc. I think it's likely Draco would have changed, especially if he became a father and it was nice to see him as an evil Slytherin we're really biased against (I blame Harry)

Lyra's introductions about her friends were fun to read, and I'm looking forward to actually meeting them in the next few chapters. Omg, I LOVE the idea of Lyra being friends with someone who's named after Benedict Cumberbatch. I just find it really funny :)

Anyway...I really enjoyed this. It wasn't too long and kept me interested all the way through. Good luck with the Nargles ;)

Author's Response: Hey there, so glad to see you here!

I love Lyra, and I'm so glad that you like her too. I definitely love writing the Scorpius - Lyra bicker sessions; they're so much fun!

Oh she is! I definitely enjoy her not being in a relationship too. It won't last long, haha.

I love them too. They just seem like they have a better ability to be mushy than their usual stern glowers and pressed tailored clothes (they of course still wear them, but the stigma's obviously gone). I blame Harry too :)

I don't even know why I did that, but I love it too!

Thank you so much for the kind review, I hope to see you back.

-Lily xoxo


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Review #3, by Dirigible_Plums I.

17th March 2017:
Hello!

I'm taking a break from my revision and I thought it was high time that I left some reviews for the Nargle entries. So here I am, wondering why I didn't come here sooner :P

Honestly, the relationship between Lyra and Scorpius cracked me up. I love reading about siblings, especially when they bicker to no end, and that seems to be the gist of their interactions here :P Honestly, their little argument stole the show here, especially with Draco's overly nice roars. Poor Draco. He's without a shadow of a doubt 100% done with these two.

The stuff about Scorpius' relationship with Al was hilarious to read. I'm sure I'd be just as traumatised as Lyra if I was in her position but I, luckily, am not so reading about her pain just made me laugh. The fact that no one else in the family takes her complaints about the PDA seriously XD

I like the fact that Scorpius is sassy as hell but still a Hufflepuff. What a cutie.

Also, this probably seems random but I really like that Lyra's name suits the whole ~theme~ of the family. Sometimes it rubs me the wrong way when I see Scorpius' sister being called Michelle or something for some reason - it's just so ordinary!

Another thing I enjoyed was the style of the chapter. I don't just feel like I'm Lyra, I feel like I'm someone she's confiding in if that makes sense. Almost as if I'm her journal or somethig along those lines. It really engaged me throughout.

Cracking first chapter and congratulations on your nomination!

Plums xo
♡♡♡

Author's Response: HEY so excited to finally see you here! Awww, thank you.

I love writing Lyra - Scorpius dialogues. They're so much fun, especially when they're bickering.

I love Scorbus, so it seemed very unnatural not to add it someplace in this story. This story needs more 100% straight couples, haha; I mean already with Al and Scorp it's covering a quarter of the rainbow that the story continues to round out. I mean, bi-Scorpius, gay-Albus-TJ-Ben, ace-Lyra, les-Poppy-Rose, Agender - Marka.

*I know you haven't met some of these characters yet, but if you continue on you'll meet them in no time! Know that Marka isn't in GTOLM, but in the sequel.

I love hufflepuff!Scorpius with all of my heart. He's sassy, but Lyra will (of course) never admit it.

No it's not random at all! It rubs me the wrong way too when the general Scorpius' sister character is called Michelle, or Charlotte, or Halee. Urk.

That totally makes sense, and that's really cool. I'm glad that this first chapter has connected to you in that way.

Thank you so much, and I hope to see you back for another chapter. Congrats on your nom. too, you totally deserve it!

-Lily x





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Review #4, by Mirrormirrorlove  XI.

12th March 2017:
Hi so that'd chapter was lovely and i am having such a great time reading this story!

Ok so "girls who call other girls Ďsl*tsí have a 90% higher chance of dying at age twenty" I read that line and I'm like huh that sounds familiar and then I read your authors note at the end and I am like
AHhhHhhh! Because I just finished watching all of skam and I am insanely obsessed.
So yeah I thought I would comment (I'm ususally far to lazy to comment and just choose to selfishly enjoy ;)

Alright so now that I am commentating I thought I'll review a bit. Ok so I really love all of your couples and you really get the reader to ship them.
I like Lyra however I feel that she can be overwhelmingly much at times
Also I feel that this story is kind of rambling on at points and needs more of a central conflict to tie the whole book together.

Ok thank you for taking your time to write this!!!

Eli

Author's Response: Oh hello and thank you for reviewing! Thank you for your constructive criticism as well. I am wondering however, since you haven't reviewed any other chapters, if you've read them.

Lyra is *supposed* to be overwhelmingly much, so if you don't like then that's okay (I don't really see why you would read this far if you dislike her character), but her outrageousness is a big part of her character and is important to the story.

Thanks for stating your opinion on the rambling. I really don't think that's the case but I appreciate the comment. There is central conflict, but we're only eleven chapters in, so perhaps patience is in order.

You're welcome. Thank you for the review.

-ImaRavenclaw


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Review #5, by paulatheprokaryoteistoolazytologin X.

16th February 2017:
Hi Lily!

TJ always nearly makes me spew my coffee. He's a dream and just so out there. Just such a wonderful way to start a conversation. Honestly TJ's dialogue was how I knew I'd like you so much as a person.

SOoo I have questions about the mechanics of finding that birth certificate. He states that he was in the midst of a certain *ahem* action and he found them. SO was he rummaging through stuff while *ahem* in the middle of the action? If so that raises even more questions.

Poor Longbottom.

"Cedric Diggory and Oliver Wood were in a romantic relationship at some point" Totally true.

"the original Lily Potter was bisexual" Also true.

Okay I'm here and alive for this TJ/Lyra fake date of the night. Will it just be the night? Will this charade keep up? I feel like sweet big-mouthed Lyra could not keep that secret. "It's not my fault, okay?" NO NOT OKAY, TOTALLY YOUR FAULT, TJ.

I love her vomit because I did this in class once. We were reading Oedipus and I was already sick that day but the nurse wouldn't send me home. Got to the mom and Oedipus bowchica part and I projectile vomited all over this girl, Emily, who refused to talk to me for the remaining two years of school. If she saw me she'd literally turn around and go the other direction.

As per usual, great chapter! I'm excited for the next one! (and for my James)

How is Scorp doing? I hope he's okay. Send him my love.

Author's Response: PAULA!

I know, I love TJ too. I think he's my favourite, and I always enjoy writing him.

Oh gosh I need to go back and re-write that! No he was in the midst of *ahem* action, saw them, stopped *ahem* action, picked up the papers, and read them returning to *ahem* action.

Poor Longbottom, I agree.

Yep.
Yep.
All true.

It is totally TJ's fault. I actually had no idea that any of that was going to happen, ha ha. It's just for the night, but let's face it, Lyra helps them WAY TOO OFTEN.

Oh my God, really? That's so funny but now I feel really bad.

Yes, hopefully I'll find away to have more James soon.

Scorp is a cheating scum bag, but Albus will forgive him (eventually)...

Nice to see you Paula!

Xxxx Lily


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Review #6, by Melinda X.

15th February 2017:
When's the next chapter!!! Oh and it is so awesome!!😁

Author's Response: Oh thank you very much!

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Review #7, by dreamgazer220 II.

31st January 2017:
Hello my dear! I'm here with your review ♥

Thanks for coming back to request because this story is really starting to grow on me. It's such a quick read and Lyra's narration is hilarious. She really acts like a teenager, which is hard to write; sometimes teenagers come across as older and more mature in fics or in TV, but you do a great job of keeping her true to her age.

OMG, I can't believe Ben pushed her out the window! What a jerk. I can't wait to see the aftermath of that and if/how it'll effect their future friendship, although I don't think it's a grudge that Lyra will hold for long.

Also, I loved the banter with Albus and arguing over Scorpius. I have a feeling though that Albus really does care about her.

Speaking of which, it was refreshing to see Draco and Astoria referred to as "Mum" and "Dad" instead of a typical Mother and Father. It spoke volumes about their relationship and their upbringing, and I'm glad that they were all there at the courtroom for her. ♥

Also, I hope we get to meet TJ! He sounds like an interesting character. And this line made me LOL: Okay, so you guys donít want to sit through a horrible court story, so instead Iíll tell you about Benís boyfriend, like I promised. I don't know why but it was just perfect.

In terms of CC, I don't have much that I didn't mention in my previous review, but more descriptions (even if they're quick) would be good. Also, here: ďJust checking up on my soon to be sister in-law.Ē He says. I think you can have a comma separating the "sister-in-law," and the "he says", like that. If that makes sense. But that's just a nit-picky thing. XD

Otherwise, you're doing a great job with this and as I mentioned, I'm really starting to enjoy Lyra's character and her narration.

Thanks for the request!

♥Jill

Author's Response: Hey Jill, you're welcome and thanks for getting here so quick with that review!

Well, I myself am a teenager, so I think that's why. Normally adults create teenaged characters, so they've kind of lost touch with what it's like to be Lyra's age.

Yeah, they're definitely a very happy friendly family!

They were however all at the house. Only her father came to get her.

Oh you do, he's a good friend of Lyra's!

Thank you, and you're welcome!

Thanks again Jill,

-Lily


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Review #8, by victoria_anne III.

23rd January 2017:
LILY!

I love you so much and I missed you and it makes me sad that I stayed away for so long! Am I forgiven? I have cookies and dragons?

For some reason, the line "the whole enchiladaĒ made me laugh so much. I don't think that's an actual saying, but it made me hungry.

I'm pretty sure I say it in every chapter but I really really do love Lyra and Scorpius' bickering. I live for bickering, and it just comes off so naturally for these siblings. I would just sit in the corner of their bedrooms with a big grin on my face.

I can really relate to Lyra, because a fed Bianca is also a happy Bianca. But I still don't have an enchilada.

*squee* Albus and Scorpius are so fluffy and cute! And I'm glad to see Lyra having a good time too! I hope she enjoyed her cake.



Author's Response: BIANCA!

I love you too, and I've also missed you very very very much. Yes, of course you are forgiven! How could I not forgive you my dear friend! I will happily share cookies and tea with you and your dragons.

I'm so glad that you do. When I first started writing it I almost thought it was over the top, but it's one of the reoccurring things that people comment on, is how realistic it is. And I wouldn't know much about sibling banter because my only sibling is a half sister who I've never lived with and who lives on a different continent (though sometimes we do fight, and it's not exactly bantery).

I very much also relate to Lyra. I love my food.

I know, but there will be moments when they won't be so fluffy and cute. Stay tuned!

She did, and she thanks you for asking.

Hope to see you creeping around my ap more often. I might come creep back. Sorry I took so long to answer!

Lots of love,
Lily



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Review #9, by PaulaTheProkaryote IX.

23rd January 2017:
Hello lovely!

Lol. I'm dying at the start of this chapter. I mean I should be laughing, but TJ and Audrey under the Hufflepuff table is everything.

I 100% could totally see all heck breaking loose if Albus and Scorpius broke up. Especially given the circumstances. The duel was perf. Poor Longbottom.

I LOVE THE IDEA OF PLANTS EVERYWHERE IN NEVILLE'S OFFICE.

Expulsion would be perfectly reasonable.

Lily really needs to work on her relationship with Albus because obviously this is going to cause a rift in their relationship!

Poor Lyra! Okay, TJ and Ben. I'd be laughing too.

SoOo...obviously this chapter was too short to satisfy me WHERE IS THE NEXT CHAPTER WHY ARE YOU TORMENTING ME SO?

Loved it and can't wait for the next one!

Author's Response: Oh hello!

Yes, I know right? When I wrote it I could literally just picture them quivering, on their hands and knees under the table and Lyra being like "what is that smell?"

And Audrey being like: "It's the smell of fear."

But that's only because I really love the movie Get Smart with Steve Carrell.

Poor Neville, and yes of course there would be a million plants in his office.

Yes, yes it would. But that wouldn't help the story, now would it?

They definitely do, especially since they didn't have the best relationship in the world to start with.

Yes, we just need to have Ben and TJ making out whenever Lyra's trying to tell them something.

Your torment will soon be over! Chapter Ten is in the queue!

Thank you so much for loving it!


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Review #10, by PaulaTheProkaryote VIII.

22nd January 2017:
Hello lovely!

Why do I love your chapter summaries so much?

I agree with the entire first paragraph. Except I'll argue that my ed was way worse because it was taught by a local pastor who was a virgin. Yes, a thirty something year old virgin. He taught exclusively abstinence and I had to sign an oath saying I'd never do the frickity frack until marriage to pass the course. (I lied). Odd and completely off topic, but he now runs a booming coffee shop in town that's amazing. Good lunch options too.

Back on track.

Dang Chiyo, did you get lost on your way to the sorting hat? Total claw material.

Okay off track again, but I took a sip of my drink at the invitation to come sit with her friends and looked back up and read "Theyíre a nice dark wood, alohomora resistant, and have undetectable extension charms on them" and for a half a moment I thought she was describing her friends. I mean it's partially true. Lockers are nice too though and tbh students would totally need them at a place like Hogwarts.

I love the idea of Lyra running an apothecary and hello, yes, I'm ready for a spin off sequel. Let's get this thing happening!

I can't wait to read the next chapter! I swear Lyra is my spirit animal and moreover, I'm 90% sure we have the same attention span.

Author's Response: Hello to you too, lovely!

I don't know, why do you?

Oh wow that really blows. I can't imagine what that must have been like. I can't believe they ACTUALLY MADE YOU sign a thing. I mean obviously you didn't listen to that, I'm sure a lot of people didn't. I would've lied too, but the courses I had were never abstinence based. I very much appreciated you going off topic, that's so funny. Would would've thought? So you still live in your hometown?

I think quite a few people got lost on their way to the sorting hat. Though he makes an excellent Hufflepuff because of his dedication and loyalty, Cedric Diggory would've made a damn fine Claw. Oh us claws, we're greedy, we always want more people in our house. Ha ha.

Oh my God, that's so funny! You have no idea how hard I'm laughing right now. I don't think I'd ever describe TJ, Ben, and Audrey like that though.

Same. And yes, I can now say that there will be a sequel! It's already all planned out. I just have to finish writing numero uno. Maybe there will even be a third novel where they're adults (because II is set in their 7th year).

Haha, bye now. Thanks for popping by to review (and sorry that I took a while to respond!)


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Review #11, by marauderfan IX.

4th January 2017:
Okay, I'm back!

Sooo I take it Albus found out. Ah, yes, there's the destruction of things and even some flames as a bonus. Oh my.

I don't remember if you mentioned this before but wow Neville is the headmaster and I kind of love that idea. Especially the fact that he's filled the office with potted plants. And that when Albus is in trouble he won't let them call him Uncle Neville because he needs them to know that this is serious. Although still... no detention. (Neville, that is called playing favourites.) Also I still need to have a talk with both Scorpius and Lily and ask them why on earth they made such bad life decisions.

TJ is being a pretty bad friend here. Although I guess it's not really his fault - Lyra did have the worst possible timing to want to have an actual discussion :P For real, Lyra? She couldn't wait to vent until he was actually there to listen to her? *headdesk*

Yep, that does sound like a bad day. Hopefully things get better. Pls yell at Scorpius for me, thanks.

Author's Response: Yay, you're back!

Yes, yes he did. Of course I needed to add some drama in there! It wasn't just going to be "I cheated on you with Lily"
"Really? I hate you but I'm glad that you told me so let's make up and move on." Nope, don't think so.

I love Neville as a headmaster too, and yes an office filled with plants and him demanding that Albus call him Professor whenever he's in trouble. I just thought that it was great, so I'm glad that you like it!

Shameless self promo one-shot on that story coming soon...

Oh TJ really is a terrific friend, it's just that Lyra's an idiot about when she should talk to her friends.

For sure. Okay, I will!


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Review #12, by marauderfan VIII.

3rd January 2017:
The new lockers sound about 1000x better than the one I had in high school. Undetectable extension charm too! That's awesome.

For all TJ and Ben said earlier about staying in the closet, they sure aren't very good at it, haha. Maybe they both do want to come out.

I kind of love that Lyra calls Hogwarts 'Hoggy'. It sounds silly, but honestly there's something very realistic about that. Everyone at my high school called the school by a silly nickname too (which sounded totally normal to me because I was used to it, but probably sounded weird to anyone from another school who heard it) so the nickname Hoggy is such a neat, weird detail that I never would have thought of myself but it really works.

Poor Lyra. It's hard to do well in classes you don't even like. :-/

Okay but what about Albus and Scorpius? That was a big piece of news you just dropped in that last chapter and I want to know if they are okay! Did Scorpius tell Albus? Helllp I need to know. And this is the last chapter up for now so I hope you update soon!

I've had a lot of fun reading this today, and I'm so glad we were paired in the review exchange! Great story! Again, I'm really sorry it took so long for me to do it. Hope you had a good holidays. ♥

Author's Response: Yeah, I figured they kind of needed lockers. I mean, I get undetectable extension charms on bags, but it's not like everyone knows how to do them.

They aren't. They really aren't. They will eventually, don't worry.

I love Hoggy too.

Yeah, for sure. I have this English class, and I used to get 90%s in English (As) but now I get like 80%s (Bs) and it's only because I really don't like my teacher, whereas last year English was my absolute favourite subject.

I already know that you read the next chapter, so no comment.

Same! I really love your story too, I've read some of it but I have to review it now. I hope you did too.


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Review #13, by marauderfan VII.

3rd January 2017:
FYI I did end up having breakfast food for dinner. I made an omelette.

Back to the story.

The beginning of the chapter with this guy walking in there with shiny golden locks and the sun illuminating him ... I totally feel like this paragraph happened in slow-mo. There was probably really dramatic music playing at the time as well, something with strings. Or a powerful song from the 80s like Open Arms by Journey.

Another couple just confirmed my theory that James is the only straight character. The fact that they're both named after flowers is amusing :P

Oh wow I didn't expect that plot twist with Scorpius either. Especially after all the PDA and love confessions with those two. What could possibly have prompted him to do that? *shakes head* Ughhh, Scorpius. I can't believe Lily has that little respect for Albus either. Please tell me there's another explanation for this. Is Lyra dreaming? alskdhfahsdjk

Author's Response: Oooh yum. Now I want an omelette. But it's only 1:09 for me, so doesn't really matter. Omelettes aren't exactly breakfast food, are they?

Same. This is basically Tim, just right there man. I definitely agree.

To help you out: James - Straight, Audrey - Straight, Parker - Straight, Lily - Straight, Lyra - Straight (but ace), Hugo - Straight, Tim - Straight. That's all that I can think of for now. But I do agree that it's funny. And yes, Rose and Poppy are very amusing.

I love my plot twists. Hang on tight because there's going to be a few more of them. I know, he disappoints me. I'm going to write a one-shot from Lily's point of view though, so you'll get to see what happens. Just know that it didn't really mean anything.

No unfortunately. Lyra only dreams of unicorns that fart rainbows... Ha ha, just kidding (about what Lyra dreams about), the thing about Scorpius cheating on Albus is definitely not a dream. Sorry! Don't hate me.


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Review #14, by marauderfan VI.

3rd January 2017:
A blueberry muffin sounds delicious right now and I just realized that I am hungry and should probably make dinner soon. It will probably be breakfast food because Lyra's breakfast inspired me.

SNITCH PUFFS, yes, I love really goofy analogues between the wizarding world and real one.

It's really cute that her parents showed up to see the game!

Of course the match continues as he is taken to the Hospital Wing, -- Hogwarts in a nutshell. Literally everything at the school is dangerous and no one blinks an eye at it, instead they encourage 14 year olds to play broom sports hundreds of feet in the air. I'm amazed there aren't more lawyers in the wizarding world.

Okay, so you know that thing I mentioned in my previous review about something to ground the reader really in the moment? This chapter is it. This was great! I loved the Quidditch game and how you wrote it focused on specifically the things Lyra is concentrating on - not the commentator, but on what's happening in front of her with the quaffle and who fell.

Oh no, Madam Pomfrey went a little overboard with all the details of how he might have died. haha Seriously, no one wants to hear stuff like that - no reason to unnecessarily worry people! But then again... wizarding world's sense of safety. Falling to your death is just a mundane kind of event it seems. :P

Awesome chapter!

Author's Response: Mmmm yum, I should eat something actually. I woke up two hours ago and I still haven't hit the fridge. Ha ha, I've been having a lot of breakfast for dinner lately. My parents are busy with work and I have exams to study for soOoO I'm kind of just like, "this takes no time to make and is really delicious. Let's do it!"

SAME! And I thought that it was just me!

Oh they show up to see EVERY game. They're really very clingy.

Yeah, it's really funny. I know right? Really it's like: Want to play a dangerous sport? Sure go ahead Harry. Want to have a dangerous class with a Hippogriff? Definitely Harry. Want to entire a tournament with three horribly dangerous task, one of which you'll have to fight Voldemort after? Why the bloody hell not Harry. Oh, going to the candy shop? Sorry Harry that's way too dangerous, you need a permission slip. What was that? I can't hear you with all of that blood in your mouth.

Yeah, Paula actually said it was one of the most interesting matches she'd ever read. I was very pleased. I think I thanked her a little bit to much.

Yeah. I read this fic once where Albus went to see her all of the time to ask how things worked, so I kind of got my idea from that except that this time LYRA DOESN'T WANT TO KNOW.

Thank you so much!


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Review #15, by marauderfan V.

3rd January 2017:
Aw, Lyra really is growing up. She didn't even break Hugo's nose. Instead she used her words. I'm proud of her.

The idea of all these wizards and witches waiting in line to sign the cast of someone they don't really know just because signing a cast is a big deal in a place where they usually have leg-regrowing potions instead of casts... that's hilarious. And also I would expect nothing less from Draco Malfoy than for him to already have the potion. It's extra funny because you just know some kid waited a really long time just to sign Lyra's cast and probably had to sign on top of some other large signature that was taking up too much space, and then it didn't matter anyway because Lyra got the cast off two hours later. Bahahaha.

Can we talk about the fact that Draco has an owl named Romeo. Headcanon: Astoria has one named Juliet.

On a scale of 1 to spatttergroit, how much do you think Draco enjoyed Lyra's response comparing him to Harry Potter? I bet he frowned grumpily and then started re-reading The Fault In Our Stars.

I'm really enjoying this fic so far, though one thing I'd love to see more of would be a bit more scene setting. I feel like it kind of hops from one thing to another pretty quickly and I never feel like I'm entirely in the moment. Maybe take time to describe what things look like, or what Lyra is feeling, or kind of get into her head more so the reader can really understand what makes her tick, as a way to complement all of the dialogue?

It's your story though so you write what you want to write - that's just a bit of CC/personal opinion if you want it. Either way, I'm definitely still enjoying the ride. :) To the next chapter! ♥

Author's Response: I'm proud of her too, she really needed to handle things the prefect way.

I don't even know where I came up with that idea, I just know that as soon as I started writing it I fell in love with it and decided to keep it.

I never even thought of that! Ha ha. But it might interfere with some later events in the story... Hint, hint, hint.

Maybe. But I suppose since Scorpius and Albus are dating they've probably gotten a slightly better relationship. And they work together (something you'll get to see at some point), so.

I've definitely been trying to do that, and I think it's especially improved quite a bit. But it's definitely hard to do, because I feel like with all of the humour and 1st person it gets a bit cluttered and hard to do. But I'm definitely trying!

No, please. I absolutely LOVE CC, how else would any of us get better? I mean really. If it weren't for you guys being like 'that's not right' or 'it's than not then' then where would I be? Especially since I'm not as used to writing in English, be it the fact that it's not my first language.

Lots of love,
Lily


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Review #16, by marauderfan IV.

3rd January 2017:
I just realized that we have the same style of summary for our stories. Except yours are definitely more comprehensive summaries, haha.

The information Ben chooses to share about the city in Italy is amusing. I mean, normally when I want to know something about a place, the first question in my mind is who is its patron saint. :P

Lyra comes off as a bit... unbalanced here. I mean, being so dramatically revolted by the couples and then actually punching Albus in the nose (possibly breaking it)? ... yikes! I can see why Draco called her a troublemaker.

Tall Awkward Gangly Friend. -- !! You've just invented a term that describes me 100%. I hella relate to this.

Wow, sarcasm does not work as well when not spoken. -- ALSO something I relate to. I have to resort to goofy looking emojis instead. See above statement about the patron saint. :P

I noticed Lyra watching Audrey walking. Do I detect a crush? I hope so because it would really round this story out into a nice rainbow. :D After all, there are no straight people in this story so far, except James.

Am I jealous or do I find love disgusting? -- She might be aromantic! Either that or she's a lonely, bitter teenager surrounded by people in love. Both equally likely options, and I'm not sure which one it is at the moment (neither is Lyra, I guess).

Hogwarts has an Orchestra! My nerdy violist self is very happy about this.

I like that you took into account how Hogwarts would have so many more students - in terms of sorting, and the number of professors teaching each class - as it'd be sort of a baby boom generation after the war, so I like that you included that as it feels pretty realistic.

I'm also excited that they're back at Hogwarts. And I'm still wondering how Lyra got the status of prefect even though she punched Albus in the face.

Great chapter!

Author's Response: We do? Cool. Don't worry, yours are definitely perfectly easy to understand, but with a complex undertone that makes it interesting.

That's Ben, always giving every detail!

Draco didn't really call her a troublemaker, it's just that she is one. I plan to show some of her pranks in the future. She especially likes punching people, if you haven't noticed... Or palming them in the nose.

I hella relate to it too, ha ha!

Nope, no crush. Just best friends who care a lot for each other (Audrey's straight and she has a boyfriend called Parker, whom you'll meet later on in the story). I could have done that, but I chose not to because I absolutely despise stories where EVERYONE is LGBTQA+, they just really annoy me and if you think about aren't inclusive because they leave out straight people (which, let's face it get represented quite enough), but it's a lot more normal to see the balance between straights and gays and aces and transgenders then just having everyone be gay. Oooops sorry, I got a bit ranty there! I apologize.

You play viola? Cool, I play the cello! Yeah, I was going to have Ben play cello, maybe trumpet if I'm feeling up to it.

For sure, I definitely want this story to be silly and out there, but also down to Earth.

Well... She had it before she punched Albus in the face, and no one really saw so.

Thanks so much! Sorry that I've been taking a million and a half years to answer these, I'm normally so quick to answer reviews (because let's face it, I don't get many) but they just started piling up and I found no time to answer them, and when I did I'd procrastinate it. But I promise you that I read all of them when I first got them, and I loved them (and still do).

Bye now!


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Review #17, by marauderfan III.

3rd January 2017:
Here come awkward meeting the family shenanigans! I can't wait.

Her way of helping is to just tell her parents when Scorpius has been missing for two days... Helpful!

Lyra is totally right, free food is the #1 way to get anyone to go to anything. That and an open bar.

The long string of Mr Weasley and Mrs Weasley's made me laugh. There are so many of them! And I love how Lyra just described them all as the same thing with their name as an after thought.

I like that she was accepted so easily by all the Potter/Weasley bunch. And most especially that it went over well with Scorpius meeting everyone too - that sounds like a pretty intimidating thing, even if he's known a few of them for a while through school, but this is a different context.

Yay for everyone being happy! Even Lyra, because although she has to put up with her brother and his boyfriend finishing each other's sentences, at least she got some cake out of the deal so it's fair.

Author's Response: Well, I mean he's already MET most of the family, but this is the real deal man.

Honestly that's my way of helping whenever people ask me to come to places that I don't want to go. And yes, free food is amazing. I can't drink quite yet (soon), so an open bar wouldn't exactly convince me, but definitely free food.

Yeah, it's always a joke that I like to mention. Mrs. Weasley, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, are we done yet? Ha ha.

Yeah, it's definitely super intimidating. I wouldn't know, I've been a singleton my entire life. Just haven't found the right person yet.

Cake is her bribe, and she'll put up with anything for it. (More cake bribery to come).


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Review #18, by marauderfan II.

3rd January 2017:
That must have been terrifying to fall out hte window! Like, that's really not a lot of time to think fast and come up with some way to not break both of your legs and/or spine. I'd be kinda angry at Ben if I were her. Also I have a feeling Ben's last minute plan was pretty ineffective because his mother would have heard a scream from outside the window, probably heard the Accio, and then seen someone fly away from below Ben's window. Good try Ben, but no. :P

Thank goodness Hogwarts now has a sex-ed class. After all the fics I've seen about teenage pregnancy at Hogwarts it was about time that they have that class XD

Albus and Scorpius really are the cheesiest :P

Onward!

Author's Response: Okay, okay I'm here (after a million years)! I can't imagine, though I have jumped out of windows before (don't worry, they weren't very high up), I've never actually been pushed out of one. Lyra is very angry, but she's actually a big ol' softie so she'll forgive him.

Yes, Ben is one of those boys who is EXTREMELY book smart but a little bit real world stupid.

Yeah, I just wanted Lyra to have to suffer the awkward pains of sex ed class.

They are, aren't they?

Thanks so much Kristin!


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Review #19, by marauderfan I.

3rd January 2017:
HI LILY!!! ♥ First of all, let me apologize for being so incredibly slow with this. I promise I didn't forget about you - I was working 50hr weeks in addition to applying to grad schools and trying to visit family. So, it was insane and I had no time but now I am very much here for this story. Here we go!

Your chapter image is gorgeous.

I love the idea of Scorpius having a younger sister! Especially one who's kind of bad at being a Malfoy, at least in the tradition of all the others - at least from the first section of this, I can tell that she's a bit of a troublemaker, as opposed to Draco and Lucius who were each really focused on their reputation. Though it seems the war and its repercussions have really changed Draco. His kids being a Hufflepuff and a Gryffindor? I love it. (I bet Draco didn't, but hey what can you do. :P) Also, I must admit I'm really curious about their family movie nights. Mostly just the image of Draco Malfoy watching muggle movies and enjoying them. Now I have a new headcanon: he would tell people he really likes serious movies like The Shawshank Redemption but secretly his favorite film is The Notebook. Am I right?

AM I PICKING UP HINTS OF SCORBUS? Seriously, how fast did Scorpius switch from surly to jumping for joy at a letter from Albus. I rest my case. :D

...Okay, so I guess I got ahead of myself there, because the subtext I was picking up on was actually just text. This is what happens when you review as you read. Anyway, yay for scorbus. I love them as a couple, but seeing them through Lyra's eyes is pretty hilarious because it's so realistic to how anyone would feel about getting TMI about their sibling's love life. It's a fun twist because I'm reading about a ship I love but through the lens of someone who is bored/disgusted by it, she's like "Get a soundproof room and leave me alone."

Iíll give you a paragraph. Read it very quickly, and imagine me talking fast. -- Lyra is such a fun narrator! This section made me laugh. It's kind of like this is her memoir or something that she just handed to the reader to read rather than telling a story, and it makes for a really fun way of storytelling.

The sibling bickering between her and Scorpius is adorable, and how they still race each other down the stairs to open the door just for the sake of competition. And Draco's half hearted attempts to get his children to shut up because their immature arguing is annoying him, even though he knows it won't work because this is literally what happens all the time. But he still makes the attempt in hopes that they'll be quiet this time, because he's trying to watch The Notebook but the room is too noisy. I know this to be true.

Hahaha, Albus and Scorpius are the worst, and couples like this in real life drive me nuts... but I love scorbus anyway.

What book is Draco reading? My bets are that he is holding up the jacket to a John Grisham courtroom novel, but inside is actually a John Green novel. That's why the jacket was upside down.

Okay, so, in summary: I really enjoyed this first chapter! Lyra's narrative voice is a lot of fun and I look forward to getting to know her and her family better in subsequent chapters! I'm so glad I got this story for the review exchange. :)

Author's Response: Hey Kristin, glad to see you here! It's totally okay, RL gets crazy for all of us.

Oh thank you, but even though I'd love to take credit for it, it is actually the lovely Callisto @ tda who made me that.

Same, though Lyra really isn't supposed to be "bad" at being a Malfoy, she's just a troublemaker. Draco was kind of a troublemaker in his own way at school, if you think about it.

No, Draco was fine with the houses of his children. He's really not like his father.

Ha ha, I never thought of that! Maybe.

Oh darling, those aren't hints, ha ha. It's okay, I review as I read too.

I definitely wanted the bickering to be believable and yet be funny. However Draco wasn't really supposed to seem half-hearted when he was trying to get them to stop fighting. Ha ha!

I know. It's my own experience with couples too. I'm not aro/ace, but I just get really annoyed when couples are all puppy puppy puppy with each other.

Ha ha, no I don't think so. They're just trying to seem as if they're busy in their books so that they don't have to deal with their teens and their angst.

Thank you very much, I'm really glad that you like it. This story is "literally" (figuratively, obviously) my child.

Thanks again for this awesome review, and have a really happy new year!

-ImaRavenclaw



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Review #20, by PaulaTheProkaryote VII.

11th December 2016:
HEllO Lily! :D

Okay,

Like...

I LOVE TJ. I love him because he's the king of comic relief at any given time. I swear humor just rolls off your story and I also leave it laughing. His shock value comments, his endless teasing,

the male specimen. I'm dying.

Idk man, the whole no to hogsmeade but yes to something else seems shady to me. Even with the barfing excuse. Shoutout to Lyra for fearlessly asking though. I'd probably just barf on him instead. Keep up the theme and all.

Oh, yay, fun date. Quidditch practice. Yeesh, he really is Oliver's kid.

I like the flower dating the other flower though. That's cute!

NO I TOTALLY DONT GET IT YOU GO ON A NOT DATE WITH MY LYRA BABY AND THEN YOU'RE JUST LIKE OH HEY LET'S BE FRIENDS. I get that he's dreamy but ugh.

SCORPIUS YOU LITTLE. UGH. WHY YOU DO THIS? Dude I'm even more upset with Lily why would you take away your brother's happiness? Also what kind of cheating? Emotional? A kiss? A much-more-than-a-kiss-but-gotta-keep-my-review-12+?

As per usual, I loved your characterization. Especially of Lyra/my one true love. The flow was nice and easy to read and you've got plenty of suspense built up for the next chapter.

Technically I'm still slammed with school (dang it, I'm going to finish my thesis or bust), but I'm trying to be more active. Hint hint more chapters! ;)

Author's Response: HELLO PAULA :D

I'm so sorry, I've been so bad a responding to reviews lately. BUT I'M HERE NOW HOORAY!!!

I love TJ too. I always feel awkward when I talk about fan fic TJ because I used to know (not really well) a TJ in real life, so I just find it funny. Except that this TJ is almost nothing like other TJ, besides being blonde and funny. (I know that Miles Heizer isn't blonde, but he was the only decent looking face claim that I liked for TJ). Okay, moving on.

Though we're still on the topic of TJ, I felt the need to start a new paragraph. Okay so, yes I know. The shock value comments and teasing are my fav to write.

I don't even remember where I got that line. It wasn't in a book or anything because then I'd have to credit, but I think one of my friends said it in a conversation. Ha ha. That's going to drive me crazy.

It's not shady! Paula you misread that. It's kind of supposed to be because I don't really like writing Hogsmeade. If you haven't noticed I don't write it too much. I already put it in so now I'm like "eh". Also it's kind of supposed to be more romantic. I DON'T KNOW, BUT IT'S NOT SHADY.

Yep. I had another comment but I deleted it because it would've been too much of a giveaway of what happens in future chapters.

I did it for a reason, Paula. There are CERTAIN THINGS that HPFF doesn't allow *cough*

Don't worry, I'm writing a one-shot called "Forgive Me" that will describe the event in detail. It was going to be another TJ/Ben, but I knew you'd rip my head off if I did anything bad to them (I still hadn't figured out what). Oh, I will though. Muhuahuahuahuahua*cough*

Thank you very much Paula/my wonderful friend who gives me squee comments. Oh yes I do.

Good luck with your thesis! Yes, there will be certainly be more chapters for you! VIII is finished and IX is on the way.

And just for you, a little summary of the next chapter: In which I make a Japanese friend, fail an essay, and fall asleep in Sexual Education.

Let your imagination come up with the rest!

-Lily





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Review #21, by 800 words of heaven I.

8th December 2016:
Heya! I'm dropping in for your review request :)

I really enjoyed this first chapter. Like you said, not much happens, but it was still fun.

Lyra seems like a fun character. She's sarcastic and a little weird. So far, she seems like a typical teenage girl. I'm looking forward to seeing her gain some depth in character. Not character growth since it's far too early in the story for that, but just some more fleshing out on who she actually is, beyond the sarcasm and tendency towards slapstick humour. I do like her use of lists. I approve of lists greatly.

Since we didn't get much on individual people, I'll just lump the rest of the Malfoy family together. I'm really looking forward to getting more Scorbus that doesn't just involve smooching - probably in the same boat as Lyra, there. I am not sure how likely this is going to be since this story is in Lyra's point of view, so of course we're going to see their relationship through her biases. I love this new and improved Draco Malfoy. I am all about the "father-of-the-year" Draco Malfoy trope. However, I'd love to see how he got there. I know this is also unlikely since sixteen-year-old daughters don't really care all that much about their parents' character development. But still, I think it will help this slightly out-of-character Draco make a little more sense if we got a little backstory on this miraculous transformation.

As to humour, I really enjoyed myself! I am a big fan of the humour genre, and this was a lot of fun. For me, most of the humour in this chapter came from the dialogue itself, rather than Lyra's internal monologue. I'm not sure how that's going to change over the chapters. On the note of dialogue, I really enjoyed it. It was fast and snappy and felt realistic. However, I would love a little more description of what's going on immediately around Lyra. I got enough background knowledge for an opening chapter, but not much on where Lyra actually was or how anything looked or felt our sounded. I had to fill in a lot of those gaps myself.

Typos:

"Oh, so your Hufflepuff with muggles, but not with your own sister? Wow, Scorpius."
- "you" should be "you're"

(we share a dorm for christ sake!)
- "Christ" should be "Christ's"

This was a great opening chapter, though! Looking forward to more :)

Author's Response: Hello, sorry for how late I've been in responding. Real life has been really crazy for me.

Thank you so much for your kind review.

Lyra is definitely a fun character, and I do flesh her character out a bit more. But not that much until the climaxes in the story.

Yes, I definitely love that Draco too. In most of the fics I have he's like that (I do have a few where he's mean and strict though, for versatility).

Thanks so much on the humour. That's certainly the most important part for me. There is definitely more description starting in about the third chapter or so.

Yep, I'll definitely change the your - you're, just a typo because I type super fast.

Christ however I'll keep the same, because that's just kind of how she talks. In fan fic when I do that I like those things to be more of swears than religious things, because I don't really want to represent religion unless it's important to my story. So instead of God I usually put Godrick, instead of Jesus or God there'll be Merlin, or something like that. So christ in this sense is a swear rather than a person.

I'm glad that you enjoyed it, and I will definitely keep some of your suggestions in mind when I write future chapters.

Thanks!

-ImaRavenclaw


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Review #22, by PaulaTheProkaryote VI.

4th December 2016:
hello lovely,

TJ reminds me of Oliver Wood as captain. I love him. Arguably one of my favorite OCs.

Muffins are my fave so obviously that makes Lyra even more of a genius even if she's hateful toward blueberries.

I like May too. I can't remember when I was awake at that hour last. I've crafted my schedule to avoid it as thoroughly as possible (except for one poorly picked ornithology class that started at 6 am even though we typically had half a foot of snow at any given time).

I'd toss the slogan too, but I can't think of anything cooler. I whisper weird things to myself all the time though so I can't be judgey.

You're really, really good at writing action scenes. I can't tell you how many quidditch scenes I've scrolled straight through because they can be so boring.

Good victory! I'm proud that the Malfoys showed up for the game. They're such good parents.

As always, I love Lyra so, so much. I definitely missed some good Scorp drama though. Soon, I hope?

Author's Response: Hello to you too, lovely. Sorry that it has taken twenty days to respond. You know how RL gets.

TJ's tough, but I'm glad to be getting more and more into his character with those one-shots that I'm writing. They're helping me write GTOLM better.

The slogan was just a thing I threw in there. I wanted it to be kind of like Pitch Perfect 2 where they're just like "DSM ja!" it's stupid but it works.

Thank thank thank you very much. I was a little worried that it'd be boring, but I guess not.

Yes, they are.

Yes, you will get some good Scorp drama. *smirks*

Thanks so much for the review. Lots of love!

-Lily



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Review #23, by PaulaTheProkaryote V.

22nd November 2016:
Hello lovely!

I'm taking a quick break from Nano and school and craziness to pop in and check on my Lyra love. YOU'VE POSTED SO MUCH I CAN'T WAIT TO READ!

I swear she's my soulmate. "Need coffee." Me every morning. Like don't even talk to me until I've had two cups. Don't breathe in my direction. I'd scream like a banshee.

I can't blame Audrey. The gay ones are always the cutest ones. The day of the tape was hilarious. At least Lyra gets her coffee though.

Oh god, Hugo. Oh no. Ew. YES ALBUS, YES. There's my baby love. Although I fully support her temptation to stroke Tim's hair. That would be the best and I hope it happens.

Stupid Slytherins and their stupid violent tryouts.

I think the signing signatures ontop of signatures thing was funny. That happened to me when I broke my arm. Like it's just a cast. I DON'T GET IT.

Thank Merlin for Draco Malfoy.

She totally aced it. I'm so proud of sweet Lyra. And you for writing her!

Author's Response: Hi Paula, sorry that it has taken me literally a month to reply to you. RL has had me running around in circles like a dog trying to catch its tail. I'm back now though, and I'm taking the time to answer your amazing reviews.

Thanks for taking a nano break for me. Yes, many chapters have been posted and I'm glad to see that you like them all so far. Maybe you'll get to be a beta again sooner or later.

Yeah, I know she's your soulmate, ha ha. I don't have a caffeine dependency (I like a good cup here and there, but I don't drink it every morning) so I can't really relate, but I thought it'd be funny to have her be like that.

I know. I really liked this boy at my school maybe a year or two ago (he's transferred to a different secondary school now, though), and he turned out to be super hella gay.

I just wanted to emphasize that though Lyra hates love, she has kissed before.

Well, um... The Tim Wood story line is one we will get to.

Yes I agree. Stupid Slytherins (thank Merlin we're Claws).

Ha, I've only ever broken one bone in my entire life (I think I was like four or five or six. It was so long ago that I don't remember), but I do remember people constantly wanting to sign my cast.

He's her dad and he's always got her back.

Thanks so much Paula. For your awesome reviews and your great friendship!

Happy Christmas!

-Lily


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Review #24, by IchigoPan I.

12th November 2016:
BvB Review!!

Quite a nice start to Lyra's story in Malfoy Manor. Between her parents' complacency (and disbelief of her being a Prefect) and her brother's constant PDA (amongst the noises she wish she could unhear) with "Albie," what's a girl to do?

I've always found writing in first person somewhat easy, but challenging when describing the actions of others around said person; you've done that quite well.

Just a few minor corrections:

"Okay, more then a paragraph."

The "then" should be "than."

"That sorting hat has lost itís mind"

The "it's" should be a possessive "its" without the apostrophe.

And the period after "Iím pretty sure he has OCAED" could be replaced with a colon or semi-colon since you're explaining what the acronym stands for after.

- ichigo :D

Author's Response: Hey there, thanks for the review!

Thank you very much for the tips and kind review! I fixed up those corrections just now. I hope to see you for the next chapter.

Thanks again for the review!

-ImaRavenclaw


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Review #25, by CloakAuror9 I.

8th November 2016:
Hello!

First thing, I'm so sorry that this took me a couple of days. I was just cleaning some IRL mess but anyway, I'm here with your review :)

Humour is definitely a constant element of this chapter and its a strong point about it. I think that it works very well and you have some A+ banter going on between Lyra and Scorpius. I think this is one of the few stories I've read where Scorpius has an actual sibling --not just him being 'like siblings' with one of the Weasley children. So, I find that quite interesting as well since the two seem to have a warm and solid relationship.

I also like that Scorpius is a Hufflepuff! How cute. I'm just imagining platinum blonde Malfoy and his yellow and black scarves.

I'm not sure of how I feel about Lyra though. She definitely has a strong voice since this is a first person POV, but I feel like her thought process tends to disrupts the pace of the story sometimes? She bounces from one thing to another real quick and if that's the kind of narrative that you're aiming for then I say you did a great job.

The structure of the story is a bit different, not at all what I expected but I still like it! I think what you're doing and where you're going to take this story is very interesting. You've written a very nice introductory chapter with a strong main character!

I enjoyed reading this!!

- Izzy

Author's Response: Hey Izzy, thanks so much for the kind review! It's okay, I hope that RL gets easier for you.

Great, I'm really going for the funny with this fic! Most important thing EVER!!!

I love Hufflepuff Scorpius, but I've always Ravenclaw headcanoned him. I wanted to try something new, and I was inspired by ad astra's No Strings Attached Scorpius to do a Hufflepuff Scorp (he's not much like her characterization of Scorpius though).

Lyra is supposed to have a voice so strong that you can hear her power in Argentina. That's just how I planned her. And yes, that's also kind of the narrative I was going for in this first chapter, she's kind of supposed to annoy you.

For me it was really important that this story be unique. IMPORTANT!

Thank you so much. Have a lovely day!

-ImaRavenclaw


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