Reading Reviews for Cloaked in Silence
  
8 Reviews Found

Review #1, by SilverMoonFairy T H R E E

23rd October 2016:
HPFT Team Werewolf Review *salute*

For a first attempt at angst, you had me in tears this whole chapter. It's just not fair, but life isn't fair and you really can't hide from death. I think you illustrated that perfectly here. And once I stop sobbing, I will finish this review, my God!

I hate how crying makes you stuffy. I just got done being sick, too.

The Other place, I am assuming it's like the place Harry went to talk to Dumbledore in DH? The strangeness of her sister- it was eerie and I don't even really know her sister. But her almost violent rejection of the way her sister was acting spoke volumes. It made my skin crawl. I don't know what I would do in that situation. The fact that her heart stopped- I almost wondered if perhaps Death really had tried to take her up on her bargain.

I sort of wish she had been able to explain herself to the Potter's, but after going through something like that, I can see why she wouldn't. What else matters after something like that? Take your stupid cloak and leave. It can't save anyone.

This was a beautiful story and it was torturous to read.

-Liz

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Review #2, by SilverMoonFairy T W O

23rd October 2016:
HPFT Team Werewolf Review *salute*

So, first off I want to say I love the bit about the GPS. I am actually really interested to know how our newer technologies react to magic and I like that Godric's Hollow blips in and out of existence. (What sort of illness does the character have, while I'm thinking about it?)

It's really interesting to see all of this from a muggle's POV. I think it's the best part of this challenge and I very much love how you portray it here. She has no idea what to expect and I love the line about becoming a potion ingredient! Very brave, to sneak into a known wizard village and break into a known wizard house to steal a known wizard artifact. It's amazing what we do for the people we love.

Oh, she's the doner...

This is so gut-wrenching. I've lost so many loved ones to cancer. I don't know what I would do if one of them survived only to go through this hell. And every miracle cure in the world never helped. I've literally gotten into fights with friends over some of the newer forms of 'healing' because not a d**n one of them worked for anyone I knew. Good God, I picked the wrong short story to read. But I have to know what happens. Why do I get the feeling that the cloak won't do any more good than the healing methods we tried? *sigh* I have tissues on hand...

-Liz

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Review #3, by SilverMoonFairy O N E

23rd October 2016:
HPFT Team Werewolf Review *salute*

I was looking for dark/horror stories for the review-a-thon and came across this. I was in the same challenge, so I'm excited to see where this goes, but holy crap, my heart is already breaking! I was about in tears reading the first section with the doctor and explaining the cancer and the car accident and it's just so sad. And I think I can already see where this story is going and I just... I'm going to need to read some comedy after this, aren't I?

Your writing is very powerful. I wanted to cry with the character and as the chapter came to a close, I felt the excitement of hope that somehow, maybe somehow, there was a way, a chance. And the reaction at St. Mungo's? It's so sad. I want to punch the purple haired witch FOR your character.

Speaking of, I would very much like to know who it is. There is no name, no reference of gender. At first, I saw a man in my head but by the end, it was a woman. Very interesting. Intriguing. I wonder how long you go before making the reveal, if you reveal them at all?

I'm beginning to see why this one first place!

A couple technicals:

for the past months.
month.

As for as cancers go,
far

That's all I have!
-Liz

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Review #4, by Sam T H R E E

10th October 2016:
Hey, great job with your ending! It's much more powerful and thought-provoking than it would have been as a "happy-ending." Thanks!

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Review #5, by marauderfan T H R E E

25th September 2016:
Hi Paula!

So, I found this story when I was looking for a fic to review for the hufflepuff monthly newsletter (i.e. someone finds and reads an underappreciated story and talks about it) and so I ended up here. And seriously, I can't believe this story doesn't have more reviews already because it's phenomenal.

First, I love your summary! I love that it doesn't tell much, it's just this ominous, mysterious, and desperate question, which really sets the tone for the whole story.

And to the story itself. Gah, it's heartbreaking. I didn't realize it was going to be about a child dying in a hospital after having cancer. Stories about people dying too young, especially with cancer involved, really get to me on a personal level and from the instant I read about Mia's past struggles I was already really invested in Laura's quest to find a way to save Mia. So, yeah, reading this story was kind of like being run over by a truck, but I mean that in a good way I promise :P like, it was so powerful and so sad and then there's a glimmer of hope but then stomps on my heart at the end, and you should be proud that you wrote something so powerful. I was amazed that you said this was out of your comfort zone. For someone who only writes fluff and happy endings, you did an amazing job with this angst fest. You should write sad stories more often, because you're really good at it.

Not only that, but the perspective is really unique, since Laura is a Muggle, and it shows a really interesting eye into the wizarding world from the outside. It breaks my heart that she knows things could have been different if she'd been able to gain access to a wizard hospital. But what she does end up doing was really interesting - it was quite a leap to decide to steal the invisibility cloak. It was interesting that stealing it was her first thought, I felt she should have thought that over a bit more :P but I loved the way you put a spin on the use of the cloak, it was a really clever use of a familiar object in a new way. And the way the doctor wants to keep using it to save children! Wow, I just loved that use of it and how it really puts them in a whole new light, because I was almost indignant at the Potters for hanging onto it as a family heirloom when they have this miracle cure to themselves.

speaking of the cloak, there was a bit of a weird moment in the third chapter when Laura sees Mia's hands sticking out, covers her back up, and summons the nurse... but wouldn't the nurses not be able to see her?

Okay but anyway, the descriptions are truly wonderful, from Laura's bold midnight theft to the sweet moments with Mia in the hospital. It's easy to see this whole story play out right before your eyes because of how detailed the prose is, focusing on the little but important things. There's a lot of visual description, but most of all what's described are feelings and sensations, like her heart beating, or the way her mouth feels dry because she's so nervous. These are such important details and I feel like stuff like this often gets forgotten, what's going on with a character's body, but those are important details because you notice these things as a person in real life, so of course a fictional character will feel these things too. And so it places the reader right there in Laura's shoes so effectively - I feel what Laura feels. I love that you included that. The emotional power of this story is its strongest feature.

Overall, it's a beautiful story. It's incredibly well written and I'm so glad I stopped by!

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Review #6, by adluvshp T H R E E

23rd June 2016:
Hey! Lost Muse here for your challenge review.

Wow, I was not prepared for the pool of tears this fic drowned me in. I really really was floored by this though. What an amazing 3-part-story. You really wrote this inclusion of a Muggle into the magical world wonderfully. The concept of this was beautiful and heartbreaking. I really loved it (even though it shattered my heart). The little inclusion of the Potters was nicely done. And well the entire journey of the Muggle to find the cloak and save her sister's daughter from death was really so well written and moving. I really dont have much to say here except that this was superb and you have a strong entry on your hands here. Great job.

Love
Angie

Author's Response: It's very sad that I'm just now clearing through reviews.

I'm so very glad that you liked it! It was my first time writing something that wasn't completely fluffy (it's an addiction, I can't help it).

Thank you so very much for such a wonderful review! It means the world to me and winning the challenge meant even more! Thank you!


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Review #7, by Jo Raskoph T W O

20th May 2016:
Ode to a fluffball:

Your words so precise. Feelings so sharp.
The clock is ticking, who will pay the price?
Aunt, sister, mother and child.
Their pain is real, the urgency too.
Something, someone, somehow save her!, I plead.
But who?


I'm sorry, I really can't rhyme and I shouldn't. But your work would be deserving of poetry! You might be fluff to your bones, but you're doing really well at this too.

The story idea in itself is very intriguing. It's exciting to worry and wonder what Harry and his will do and if it will work. And as far as tantalising angsty plot goes it's brilliant: Knowing about magic, having it so close, but being unable to use it. But still needing it so so badly. That's a cruel fate, pure genius on your part. And perfect for this challenge.
And I keep wondering: Will you do what the books suggested, will the cloak not work at all? Or will you have mercy and let it work out? I'm inclined to believe the former, and the whole "fearing for the characters because the reader knows more than they do" adds another layer of delicious angst.

My biggest fear is that Mia will die while under the cloak and that the whole thing will somehow prevent the muggles from saving her. It's certainly keeping me on my toes and I can't wait for the next chapter.

So, plot? 10 points to the fluffball, I'd say.

What's next? Expression, I'd say. You set a great scene of desperation and your words work out perfectly for me. Like this tiny gem: "Sleep never came." So few words, yet so very ominous. It's really well done.
One precious sentence is: "Sleepy thoughts brought me back to where they always took me." It's very beautiful.

What I'd love, personally, would be shorter paragraphs and a little less complicated sentences. I get the impression the hectic style does work to convey the urgency of the situation, so it's definitely a legitimate techique. Just, for me it was too much in certain paragraphs. For example the paragraph starting in "The garden was lush, " is really difficult to read, and it's a shame because it's so exciting and I was rushing to read faster, because Laura was in a hurry.

The flow of the story is very natural and the flashbacks make great sense and never felt out of place. The additional information you revealed is important for the plot of course, but it always felt like it was the character needing to get these thoughts out, never you as a writer.

All in all it was a lovely read. I was already very happy to see you had something new up and my expectations were surpassed even. Thank you for trying your hand at something new and doing it so wonderfully.

You seem to be worried because you don't usually do angst, but, for me at least: I would never have guessed it from your writing. Apparently you're like Tanya good at everything ;-)

Have I mentioned I'm really looking forward to the next chapter? Not to be demanding or anything.

Lots of love,
Jo

Author's Response: JO! :)

Have I mentioned that you're my favorite person! I'm not worthy of such a magnificent poem!

I've never been as insecure about a story as I am at this moment. Angsty dark stuff is just so hard for me!

Thank you so much for all of your insight. I took your advice and I went through and chopped it up and simplified a lot of sentences. I'm hoping that it'll be easier to read now! That entire paragraph you mentioned was a mess and I'm unbelievably glad that you pointed that out.

I wish I could be like Tanya (don't we all?) but I'll graciously accept your flattery! ;)

Thank you so much, seriously, for that wonderful review! It was so much help!


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Review #8, by victoria_anne O N E

16th May 2016:
Hi Paula! ♥

Here's me scrolling through stories, la dee da, when suddenly - ANGST!
I'm not entering in this challenge, but I know I'm gonna love reading the entries muahaha.

Oh golly. Now this is heavy. That is SO SAD that St Mungo's wouldn't let them in, deeming them to not be magic enough. How frustrating! I bet they could have healed Mia in a heartbeat :(

Oh my goodness I cannot tell you how glad I was to read that there's more (like obviously, you couldn't leave it there!) I love how you've weaved the magic into this Muggle story with the Deathly Hallows. I love how Lala (as Mia calls her, not sure if that's actually her name!) is going to try and find the Hallows to save Mia! I'm very excited to see where this goes - let me know when you update!

Love Bianca ♥

Author's Response: Bianca! ♥

Angst is my worst fear because I kept trying to slip fluffy stuff into it.

It was definitely very heavy and I hated that St. Mungo's wouldn't let them in.

I think Lala (Laura) was reasonably motivated to find the Hallows. I channeled my aunt vibe to try to attempt to pull of the desperation she should feel. If it were my babies I'd do anything, I think.

Thank you so much for such a lovely review you wonderful person! It means the world to me!


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