Reading Reviews for Harry Potter and Drudic Magic
  
11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by DossyVilja The Cold Heaven

17th March 2017:
So :) after the first chapter I kept reading on :) I have to say I think the first was better - but this is difficult, so many have told already the story of Lily's and James's last day. So the fact that you couldn't tell anything new is not really your fault. Maybe you could have focused less on what we know already and more on your original ideas. For example I liked that you included druidic magic. (Will this be the focus of your whole story? I would love to see more!) And that it was not just one instance (the spell Lily learned) but also a song, etc. Also I love the idea that Lily is still breastfeeding Harry after his first birthday - that is a good message, and the way you introduced it was really natural. I'm curious what happens next :)

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Review #2, by DossyVilja A Currach on the Shore

16th March 2017:
Hi StarFeather :) I finally got here :)
I think the way you start you story is really important to get readers' attention and you did that well. But then I was confused, as you introduced so many characters in the first scene. I could guess that James was James Potter and Lily was Lily Evans/Potter as your summary said they were the mains. But who was the boy with freckles? At first I thought it might be James, but he didn't have freckles as far as I know, and I suppose you wouldn't call him 'boy' at that age. Also why did you choose precisely the name Petunia for the girl? It instantly made me think of Petunia Evans/Durslay, and wonder if there is some time-travel issue when past and present mix up and some characters get younger :) But this is pretty much the only critique I have. Although it's still strange that Lily uses the false name Petunia.
Ha, and did they name their son Harry after the gipsy boy? I was always wondering if wizards knew the gender of fetuses... I mean we muggles have ultrasound for that, and wizards have a "technology" for pretty much everything that muggles have, but they might still go the old-fashioned way, not wanting to reveal if it's a boy or a girl. Sorry, that's just a sideline.
I also like that you included Lily wanting to tell the gypsies about Hogwarts, it seems so real that she sympathises with muggle-borns.
When you mentioned that it was full moon I expected Remus Lupin to be mentioned. Maybe it's just me thinking too much about him, but I think that James is close enough to Remus that he would think of him in time of full moon.
I will keep reading :) and I think that says that in general I liked this
Vilja

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Review #3, by MargaretLane A Currach on the Shore

29th December 2016:
Apologies for the delay in reading this. I have had a very busy year and with the forums here closing, I didn't have direct links so easy to overlook things.

Love the mention of the currach.

*grins at their having taken part in a boat race*

Sadly, the Traveller's wife dying young is only too realistic. The life expectancy among the Travelling Community is extremely low - 61 for men and 70 for women.

This sentence sounds a little odd: "James sensed Lily use the magic." Did you mean "James sensed that Lily had used magic"?

There should be a comma after "she isn't a doctor's daughter," and not a full stop as "he replied" is part of the same sentence.

I'm also not sure he would say that at all. While it was usual in the '70s and '80s for members of the Travelling Community to leave school after primary school and he probably WOULDN'T expect his daughter to go on to any kind of secondary school, it was also the law that children had to attend school until the age of 15 and pretty much everybody except the Travelling Community would have done so. Free secondary education had been introduced more than 10 years before this story, so I'm not sure remaining at school beyond the age of 14 (which had been the legal age for a long time before it was raised to 15) would be associated with the wealthy. Especially when the Mercy, Presentation and Christian Brothers orders had been providing education to the sons and daughters of the poor for over 100 years by this point.

The Travelling Community leaving school so early is partly due to discrimination that meant schools probably didn't care to try and ensure their attendance and partly due to cultural differences between the Travelling and settled communities.

I like the fact that Snape tried to warn her.

I imagine Hogwarts would be quite difficult for a girl from the Travelling Community - being completely unable to leave the school for two years and then only leaving on the odd weekend when she is used to being outside almost constantly, continuing her education and being treated in many ways as a child at an age when her culture would say she should be an adult and thinking of marriage, being surrounded by settled people who she would certainly have had negative experiences with. And then all the difficulties of being a Muggleborn at Hogwarts.

The Travelling Community are vastly underrepresented in fiction so good to see them here.

Author's Response: Hi, Margaret. Thank you so much for your advice on the Travelling Community. My imagination about Frank's family, he hated to stay in the same place, 'cause he loves travelling and working when he likes. As I got the image from only the photo of the travelling people, your information is so helpful for me. And thank you for pointing out the comma. :)

I'm happy to know you grinned at the boat race.
While writing this one-shot, I couldn't avoid mentioning Severus Snape. It's hard to write about him for me, I managed to do it and I'm glad you like it. :)

Your challenge was so fun to write. I wish you'll have time to set another story challenge. Your thoughtful prompts and your voice in the community is our treasure!

I decided to set this one-shot as chapter 1 to begin with the new story.

Kenny


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Review #4, by TidalDragon A Currach on the Shore

11th May 2016:
And once more, with feeling - for a story I'm going to cheat a bit on and try to double-dip because I know I'm running late on my review thread. Hopefully, you'll forgive me.

This was another unique take on a oft-ignored period of James and Lily's lives. In the early going I was a bit confused for some reason with the names changing back and forth and the fact that Petunia was being used for someone other than Petunia Dursley, but once you explained it later it clicked better for me.

What I appreciated most in this story though was the descriptions that you gave of the settings - particularly toward the beginning and end of the piece. You have a gift for setting and resetting the stage for the fic and then particular scenes (especially important ones) that makes for excellent reading and coupled with the fact that you always use such carefully chosen words to carry these descriptions out it makes them all the more authentic and impactful. I'd absolutely encourage you to try and find a way to incorporate that strength more frequently and consistently as a strong thread throughout the various parts/scenes of the stories so that we retain that awe-inspiring feel when we read about your settings.

Thanks for everything, Kenny!

Author's Response: Kevin, you are so generous that you spared time for this. I really appreciate your kindness. #touchedbygryffindorfriendship

I tried to set their hiding life using the name, Petunia. So readers might be confused, but it was necessary. I wish I could write more tactfully.

What you pointed out is right. I've focused on some spots visualizing each secene deeply in my heart, however there a few spots to be added more descriptions. Looking back the past, I think this community made my writing developed. I was so lucky to know the members on the forums including you, Kevin!
Many many thanks to your dedication to the members on the forums.

I'd like to be back to your story, Evolution ASAP.

Kenny



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Review #5, by PaulaTheProkaryote A Currach on the Shore

11th May 2016:
I totally read this way earlier and I thought I left a review but apparently I failed to do so. I'm so, so sorry I'm so late! Three story challenges in one story is pretty impressive!

For starters I think you did a really amazing job characterizing both Lily and James. I particularly liked Lily. I just think you did an excellent job keeping her character toward the way she was described in the books. She's clever and ever so kind what with sharing the catch of the day with the hospitable gypsy family. She seems so in touch with the world, wanting to camp by the shore and fish and I just really think that gives her character more depth. She's not the kind of person meant for hiding away!

James is also an interesting character and I think all of the concern he has for Lily and their baby really demonstrates what kind of man he is. He's so sweet and fretful about where they should stay. I like that she argues a bit with him and he just relents. It's hardly worth it once she has her mind set!

"Our baby boy needs fresh air, too. A mother just knows, James. James just takes her word for it though with an "Oh, alright" which is funny because Lily in my head is just sort of this know-it-all and he just accepts that whatever she says is probably right, even if it's just a gut feeling.

I don't really know what Severus was expecting. Even if Voldemort did kill James and the baby, did he really believe that she would ever forgive him for it? Let's be real, she knows his involvement. She'd never ever forgive something like that. He led Voldemort straight to her! How careless! This is why he wasn't in Ravenclaw. The warning patronus is hardly enough to redeem himself in my eyes just because the whole thing boils down to him being selfish (I'm quite anti-Snape though so ignore my ramblings).

I quite liked you filling in the blank spots of the war with James and Lily on the run. I feel like the whole experience had to pull them closer to one another. I also like that it's very clear where Harry got his name and I honestly think it's very fitting!

I think you did a stupendous job with characterization (definitely your strong point), but I also think you did a great job keeping the readers on edge as the story progressed. The way that you set the scene is just absolutely gorgeous. Overall, I think you did a beautiful job with this story!

Oh, and thanks for the shoutout ;)

Author's Response: Hi, thank you for stopping by this! I really appreciate you gave me the idea about fishing. I could visualize the scene after the chat on the forums. I'll miss these interaction there.

I'm happy to know you could capture my Jilly ship. When you hear this story was written for three story challenges, you might think it's difficult, but I could mix them naturally. I have a soft spot in Ireland, and I thought of their hiding place set in the next country to Britain. I know the conflict between two countries from historical points, but I focused the beauty of the country and the HP Marauder's era, when they were forced to live like James and Lily under Voldemort's regime. Margaret's story challenge, I think, colored this story, not only political meaning, but uncertainty of human-being's life. And Stefi's story challenge added the mother nature beauty to this story and Griffin Duck's gave me the unique character, Frank, a gypsy man.

I really enjoyed thinking the plot and writing this story, so your compliments made my day! And your insight gave me a chance to look back my story deeply.

Kenny


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Review #6, by Felpata Lupin A Currach on the Shore

9th May 2016:
Hi, Kenny!
So, I thought I'd leave you one last review for your Hot Seat. :)
And well, I couldn't resist this, because... well... Jily! *wub*

Aww... this was so beautiful! Especially the description at the beginning... I loved the atmosphere you created, the little fishing village, the shore in the sunset... so beautiful!

And Frank's family was really adorable, I loved how close they got to James and Lily, and it is so moving that they named Harry after Frank's son!

Oh, it must've been so hard for the two of them leading such a life, always running from place to place, constantly starting over again and leaving friends behind... It's so sad... :(

I really loved this. Such beautiful descriptions, and your narration was so smooth and enthralling, and the emotions so authentic and sweet... Really wonderful job!

Much love and many hugs!
Chiara

Author's Response: Wow, you dropped one more! How sweet!

After joining Kevin's (Tidal Dragon) story challenge, I could continue writing descriptions which I'm not good at. And three challenges gave me the idea of this story. I really enjoyed writing this. If you have time to spare, please stop by "Harry Potter and a Daughter of Druid", yes, it's a novel and it takes much time to read, but if you read some chapters, you may find the background of this story. I have a soft spot about Ireland.

Thank you for compliments, you made my day on Monday, when my work began.

Kenny

P.S. I'll stop by yours again after music session is done.(Yeah, I know your Hot Seat Review week was done, but I have interest in your Marauder's.)


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Review #7, by adluvshp A Currach on the Shore

9th May 2016:
Hey Kenny =)

Aw, this was a sweet one-shot. I quite liked reading it. You showed a series of events that can easily fit with canon and yet are quite different. Your perspective on Lily/James' year on the run was fresh and interesting. I loved the inclusion of the Muggle family, and I really liked the characterisations of Frank and Harry. It's heart-warming to imagine that Lily named her son after Harry - it made sense too.

Your descriptions were just lovely. The scene where Severus is watching Lily and James was nicely done. I also liked how he sent his patronus to warn Lily. And her surprise that it was a doe. A very sweet touch.

I also absolutely loved the romance between James and Lily. You showed their love for each other amazingly. It made me smile, and it was a pleasure to read those moments. It was like light in the darkness sort of thing.

All in all, a very amazing and well-written one-shot. I really liked it! Great job!

Cheers
Angie
(Lost Muse)

Author's Response: Hi, Angie! Thank you for stopping by again!. I really appreciate that you spared your precious time for this. :)

After joining Tidal Dragon's story challenge, I could continue this story. Compared with the previous works of my own, I think my description skill apparently has been developed. Your review gave me confidence, too.

I've just started writing Marauder's era. I think there are lots to be developed in both Jily and Snape/ Lily ship. I wish I could have more time to read the other authors' Marauder's stories. I'd like to learn more from the fellow authors. And I'd like to read your works,too. I will make time for reading yours. :)

Kenny



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Review #8, by marauderfan A Currach on the Shore

6th May 2016:
Kenny!! I'm here for the Hot Seat! Congrats for being featured this week :D

This is a wonderful little story, and I like that you focused on that turbulent period when Lily and James were being hunted by Voldemort. The way you have them constantly on the run from place to place and not hiding in Godric's Hollow for a long time makes perfect sense, because if they'd been there very long Voldemort would surely have found them earlier. And so here you have them hiding in small villages with the locals, staying low key and on the run. The way they seem very comfortable turning an old wagon into a place to stay indicated just how long they've been keeping this up, the constant moving around.

I can't say I'm familiar with that artist you chose for the Masterpiece Challenge but wow, I just love your descriptions here, and even though I don't know the artist, I can feel the influence of the art here because your visual descriptions of nature are so powerful. I really think this story showcases some of your best descriptions that I've read in your work! There was one line in particular about pastel skies melting down over a purple horizon - so vivid and beautiful. Your settings here really are impressive.

James wished the next hiding place would be the last. He had fought back against Voldemort to protect his family three times. He wanted to end this endless war game.
-- oof. This was the line that hit me the hardest. Because, of course, the next one is their last hiding place as they died there. Not quite what James intended when he thought those words, I expect. Ahh it just breaks my heart but it's incredibly written - worded just so it sounds like it could be hopeful, but with the added meaning behind it that it certainly is not hopeful. It's just a sentence full of feelings.

Seems like James and Lily got the idea for Harry's name from Frank's kid :D That was sweet. I really liked the addition of Frank and his family.

This was a lovely story, Kenny! I really enjoyed the read. And for three challenges - best of luck! :D

Author's Response: Hi, Kristin! Thank you for stopping by for Hot Seat Review! You are a very generous person.

As you pointed out, J.K.Rowling left much homework to explore untold episodes. She hasn't revealed how it was like, the hiding life of Harry's parents. When I saw Margaret's story challenge, the idea just popped in my head. There must be much or less conflict during Voldemort's regime. I'm planning to write about it more in my other story, "Cygnus Black III and His Three Daughters", and I'm editing "Harry Potter and the First Mission" and "Harry Potter and a Daughter of Druid", in which I'm adding more information about James and Lily. I have an idea to connect Harry with his mother's blood magic.

Thank you for the compliment about the nature scene. I just wanted to write about the beautiful sunset I saw with my family in Ireland. Stefi's story challenge gave me a chance to describe the beauty.

And Griffin Duck's story challenge gave me a chance to create the original character, Frank. It was fun to write about him,too.

I'm so glad you liked my description about James. J.K.Rowling gave us hints about James who fought against Voldemort. I tried visualizing how he fought for the right thing.

Kenny


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Review #9, by Gabriella Hunter A Currach on the Shore

25th April 2016:
Hello!

This is Gabbie from the forums here with your review for our swap and I'm sorry that this took a minute! I wasn't feeling all too well and life kind of came by and smacked me into reality. Hahaha.

I'm here now though!

Can I just say that it's simply amazing that you've written for three challenges? I don't think that I would ever be able to survive it. I currently entered three and I'm not even sure if I'll get to all of them so this is pretty fantastic of you. The fact that you were able to weave a story around the different challenges is very impressive!

I think that this story has a kind of bittersweet feel to it. We're left feeling like James and Lily will suffer through the same life over and over again, meeting new friends and then being snatched away.

The beginning of this has such a whimsical feel to it and I have to say that my heart wasn't prepared for the ending! I think you did a good job of keeping me on my toes though, I wasn't quite sure what was going on at first and it took a minute for it all to sink in.

I've never been much of a Snape/Lily shipper and I'm not going to say that I read a lot about them as a couple or anything but this was so lovely. Snape comes across as such a nice, tender guy here in his own way. You can really sense how much he loves Lily and it's a different type of love than the one we see from James.

I think you did a good job highlighting that while also making the story darker and more compelling. I was so upset by that ending! So much betrayal and loss all at once! Agh! You wrote it so well though, it really packed a powerful punch!

Thanks for the read!

Much love,

Gabbie

Author's Response: Hi, Gabbie! I always welcome your insight. Yours is cheerful and you can write powerful message. I wish I could write review like you.

This was my first Jilly story. I have written about Snap and Lily a little before, but it was also a first time for me to write about Snape before Harry Potter was born.

Yes, it's confusing to read the names in disguise, I intended to write their complicated hiding life. I also tried to write about dark shadow which covered their happiness. As we know the end of their life, it was necessary to write like that. Powerful punch, you felt? Thank you so much! :) :)

Kenny


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Review #10, by victoria_anne A Currach on the Shore

24th April 2016:
Why, hello there!

Let me start off by saying how amazing it is that you managed to pack so many challenges into this - inspiration can't have run dry!

I also have to say that this is my favourite piece of writing from you. Obviously I love everything you do, but this has to be my favourite so far.

Your descriptions of the beach are just amazing - the scene played out beautifully in my head. I love the use of fake names, too. At first I was really confused about how Petunia came into it, but once I knew, it made perfect sense. They're in hiding, of course they need fake names if they sneak out!

I also love the detail of the little boy Harry - I'm wondering if this is where they got the name from? I wouldn't be surprised - that's a brave boy to name their child after! Also that Snape was watching them, that was sad but I'm glad he's watching out for them ♥

Frank is a great character too. I really feel for him, how confusing everything must have been but he took it all in his stride. I hope he gets used to it, seeing as his daughter is magic!

Again, absolutely love this story, and the best of luck to you in ALL the challenges!

- Bianca

Author's Response: Hi, Bianca. I wish I could write review like you do. I'm not good at writing compliments. Chat with friends like you on the forums inspires me to express my feeling after reading stories. :)

I wondered what name I should choose for the gypsy boy, then I thought was I allowed to call him just Harry? It might be too easy, but I thought it might be a good episode before Harry Potter was born.

I tried describing Lily's character and her feeling about her life through their situation. It's sad because we know how they would end their lives, but I wanted to express what a beautiful moment they could have.

Kenny


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Review #11, by True Author A Currach on the Shore

20th April 2016:
Wow, I'm really impressed by the way you have managed to write a story for three challenges. I once tried writing for two and it was a complete disaster. :P I DO need to take lessons from you about that...! Great job!

What a touching story! I am a huge Jily shipper though I always get all teared up when I read about or even think about how intensely Snape loved Lily. Basically I am still confused about whether I ship Jily or Snily and you just increased the confusion! The bond between James and Lily was tender but the Snape moment was beautiful and hitting. While the married couple made my heart flutter, Snape's pain managed to rip it apart. :( (Which is good by the way)

It's really believable that James and Lily kept switching their hiding places time and again to keep Voldemort away and it's also very possible that he knew where they were all along. It makes me strangely sad.

Did I say that the title you have chosen for the story is amazing? :D It captures just the essence of it. Simply perfect!

It was an enjoyable read overall...! I hope I'll get to read more from you in the future. Thanks for swapping with me! :D

Love,
Ashwini

Author's Response: Ashwini, thank you for leaving kind words! I wish I could be back to your story more often.

Writing about Jilly, it was the first time for me, so I felt happy to know you captured my intention in this story. I also didn't want to forget describing Snape's love for Lily.

As I've written about Harry Potter after the battle of Hogwarts, and I wrote about Lily's magic a little, so the idea just popped in my head given the situations under the names of the three story challenges. I really enjoyed writing, like drawing pictures. So, if readers can enjoy this story, I'll be happy as well. :)

Kenny


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