Reading Reviews for Not Fade Away
  
129 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Jane Lane Never Gonna Be the Same

14th April 2017:
Great! Would like to see what Hargreaves is up to in the next few chapters...

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Review #2, by whykay Never Gonna Be the Same

13th April 2017:
This was great!! I can see so many signs for the future . Never going to be the same again. True words.

Fate of Dearborn
Attitude of Jack
Black family disapproval of Sirius and Marlene
Wick and Lily
Lily and James

I admire Marlene in this - she has really shown her true colours and they are good. New friendships are likely to be formed.

Now, who was behind the attack? I don't think its Randal - does he have that much clout to get dementors?? Or .. it might have been him if someone higher up wanted him to prove himself at no extraordinary cost to themselves (meaning, muggles and poor muggleborns)..

I feel for Jack, who has to remember seeing his friend's soul sucked out of his body and dying. Mr.McKinnon did try to put a better spin on it, but yeah, Jack has lost his muggle friends and doesn't have many magic ones either. I suspect he is going to alienate Lily & Co. and go to blaming them for a while.

Lily, is only going to get stronger, more resolute and I think, more clever. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I think this has sounded the death knell for Lily and Wick, hasn't it? Sure, it's not going to be right away and just when Lily's been attacked, but it will get there eventually.

James has wizened up, I think Sirius is going to do the same, at a horrible cost to Marlene, I suspect and fear. :(

And as for Dearborn - I don't think he is going to last in Hogwarts for longer after this. A pity.

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Review #3, by whykay Gone Any Day

23rd March 2017:
OMG.. take good care!!

This chapter and the previous one somehow didn't feel very authentic to me, they don't click as well as your other writing and plots do. It just feels a little too grim and tidy, if I may say so, and nothing like the feeling the other dementors in your others fanfics inspired. I am hoping that the next chapter will prove me wrong! It throws the plot around a lot more.

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Review #4, by hedwig Gone Any Day

20th March 2017:
Oh. My. God. I don't even know how to respond to this chapterit was so incredibly written that I feel like I'm in shock after that ending. I knew this was going to be a darker, more raw look at the marauders era, but this was at another level. You are so talented, and I'll be eagerly awaiting the next chapter no matter when that is

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Review #5, by zira Writing on the Wall

7th March 2017:
This is really exciting! I'm relatively sure Marlene is behind Gutters, and it's nice to see that she's started to take a stand in different areas of her life (of course, I could be wrong about Gutters, in which case it's still nice but I'm assuming there's more behind the scenes than there is) and I hope she and Sirius don't last much longer (I'm not sure you intended the Sirius and Wick scene to be super flirtatious but that's how I read it and I thought it was hilarious).
Amy and Fletch... I have a feeling they're both going to die. I love Amy, she seems like the type to go out in a big explosion since she's already having trouble containing herself (she seems passionate and principled underneath her shell) and Fletch... was never mentioned in the books, which does not bode well for her. I love the dynamic between Amy and Graham, and I think it's going to push them both to commit. It's definitely elder Mulciber who is features in the books, so Graham... might die as well?
I can't wait for them all to get back to school!

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Review #6, by scintillated Whatever I Want

5th March 2017:
Your Graham point of view is really descriptive, like it just seems so airy, in a way. It's very different than some of the other POV's, and his point of view just seems very...dreamy, in a way. I really like it, though. Like about Amy and the doors - I thought that was a great comparison.

I'm surprised that they don't think that Lily is that much of a threat. It's probably because of their huge egos and prejudice, but still.

That part about Alecto was worded really nicely. I really liked it, especially since you know, I hate Alecto. And I'm not surprised that Saul treats women that badly.

Well I guess at least Randal's taking Lily seriously. He's in quite a predicament there, but he's the most serious about this whole blood purity thing than the most of them. Graham is on a much lesser degree than Randal, and it's obvious in their argument. But Graham is smart.

I seriously don't know what to think of Emmeline. She's very complex, that's for sure. But I want to learn more about their past, it seems to be tied into Graham's emotions immensely.

Wow, that Amy and Graham scene was something. The way you wrote it was amazing, especially this part: "He could feel the pressure of her fingertips through his thin shirt under the heavy, open-fronted robes, feel the warmth of her touch, feel, despite all her quavering poise, the lack of hesitation, the absolute certainty as she reached out. His breath caught, head spinning even further, the heady sense of escape, of freedom, of utter surrender to the whispers of the wind he’d tried ignoring his whole life -" Like I don't even know what to think anymore.

I think that Sirius is far from the war in terms of blood status. Like Remus is a werewolf, which makes him a target. James is a blood traitor, which makes him a target. Peter - well I don't know about him. But the Death Eaters could think that Sirius has a chance of turning back. But I think that soon enough he is going to get extremely involved.

Poor Remus. I feel bad for him now, too. I always feel bad for him, but I feel like so far in this story he hasn't been much of a focal point?? But I still love him.

Oh man, Fletch. I don't know what to think of her anymore. But I can see her viewpoint, and I think that her and Sirius, if she ever fesses up, could make good friends.

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Review #7, by scintillated My Name is Called Disturbance

5th March 2017:
I'm glad that you show some of Marlene's bad qualities - like how she really doesn't like Jack. And now I just feel bad for Jack, for the breakfast thing. I always feel kind of bad for Jack.

I love this line!!! " ‘He’s the prince of poncy wizards, ain’t he? Heir to the hair fortune.’ " It's actually so great. Especially when Jack then compares Lily to a queen.

Marlene is revealing a lot. I like how she doesn't like Jack that much, even though she's really nice and all that, it makes her a lot more realistic. And how Jack doesn't like her, either. But Jack really is loyal, that I can say.

I feel bad for Jack. Like a lot. I love how you manage to portray the characters differently from different points of view, like the James here has a different vibe than in Lily's point of view, but he still feels like the same character, you know?

With this conversation, I still feel bad for Jack. Like he's so used to being lonely, and Lily isn't even spending that much time with it, and well, I just feel so bad. And how he thinks he's the worst of the worst, just because he's poor.

I actually love Jack like so much. He doesn't really like James, but he's willing to play nice just so that Lily doesn't have to deal with fights between her friends. There are some people who wouldn't do that.

I'm glad you're portraying Hufflepuff in a different light. How not all people find it some sort of happy, cheerful place.

Jack is a really aggressive guy, and when combined with his loyalty - well I certainly wouldn't want to be Clagg. I don't like any of these Hufflepuff boys except for Jack, they all seem like a bunch of pansies, plus Travers who is just a jerk. Although they're all jerks.

Great chapter!

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Review #8, by mymischiefmanaged Anarchy in the City

5th March 2017:
I love this chapter. Jack's such a wonderful character and you've already given him so much depth, but seeing him here with the people he grew up with just increases that complexity and warmth inside him. I love that he has these people who are part of his history and who still care about him even though they know he's not being honest with him. And I think it goes some way to explaining just how much he resents the wizarding world - Hogwarts has given him a home but it's taken him away from these people he feels safe with.

I also like how strong you've made Lily. She probably is overreacting a little bit to go rushing off into London by herself when she doesn't really understand where she's going or know anything about the area, but she shows such genuine love for Jack and it's such a poignant moment when she insists that she's going to help him. He clearly doesn't expect her to stay, even though he should know by now that their friendship is something special, and it must mean a lot to him to have his two worlds join up like this.

Also I loved Lily using her Monopoly knowledge to understand London.

Wonderful chapter - I look forward to whatever comes next xx

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Review #9, by scintillated Heart of Stone

4th March 2017:
James seems to be growing up a lot, like he actually feels a lot different from the beginning of the book. It's kind of sad, really, how tragedy causes someone to grow up so fast. Like most guys his age are normally so childish and you know, teenagery - but here, everybody's being forced to grow up.

I really like this James/Lily dynamic. Like not as a friendship or a relationship or anything like that, but just the two of them and the way they interact. It's just really fun to read and I can really picture their conversation.

Poor Dory. I could only imagine how she's struggling with her feelings about Mary and not endangering her. I can see why Lily was so light about it though, from what I've seen about her character it seems like the kind of thing she'd do.

"Lily’s heart sank as she soaked in his white shirt, red tie; how very Muggle he looked as he approached. " This really made me realize that the Slytherins aren't going to take anybody who doesn't reek of wizard seriously. This whole section just made me sad, especially since this buildup is so realistic, like that could happen.

The conversation between Jack and Lily really shows the difference between a Hufflepuff and a Gryffindor. Jack is loyal, and Lily is brave. Like Jack will fight for whoever he cares about and Lily, you know, and she'd fight for anybody (even if it's a bad idea).

Oh man, I feel bad for Wick. Like he tried so hard to stand up to the Slytherins, but now that the Muggleborns are being attacked, he's blaming himself.

I really hate Professor Abernathy. He is way too prejudiced to be a professor.

Wow, the Slytherins are getting more and more brash. I'm glad Lily stood up to them, though, and that her lessons are actually helping. Plus, I really like this line: "‘Oh, I’m sorry,’ Lily drawled, not feeling courageous so much as drunk, like bravado had robbed her of wits and gone straight to her head." It's a really good description.

That final scene was really uplifting. How people united against the Slytherins - it's the biggest piece of resistance so far. The consequences are going to be bad, though. I'm worried for Lily.

Great chapter!

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Review #10, by scintillated Trouble on the Way

1st March 2017:
I really like your descriptions - they're so beautiful, like when you write this: "...the woods quivered with fear. The Forbidden Forest could never grow accustomed to these forays; no creature, no matter how deep they ventured, stood their ground easily against a werewolf." It's not necessarily a description, but the way it's worded is very good!! All your descriptions in the full moon are so beautiful, really.

What I like is how your writing changed a bit - like when they're animals, somehow I can sense the difference. It can't pinpoint it, but it's more - animally?

The argument between James and Sirius highlights Sirius' irresponsibility and James maturing. Is it also some sort of foreshadowing, for when Sirius accidentally leads Snape to the Whomping Willow? ;)

But then afterwards - James/Sirius is like the best bromance in the world.

Oh man, Gutters is back! I thought it was going to be a one-time thing, but I guess it isn't. Now that's getting me even more curious!

I feel so bad for Marlene. Like she obviously cares, and her heart is going to be broken. Poor Marlene.

Wow, Abernathy used to be part of the Knights of Walpurgis! No wonder he's so anti-Muggle, he could have been a Death Eater. Even if it really was nothing but a "rather melodramatic gentleman's club" at the time.

Amy's been skipping Care of Magical Creatures?? Wow, what happened with Graham really affected her. Fletch is also really not one for emotions, I can sympathize with her on that aspect.

Also, did I ever mention that I like how you use the word 'racist'? Because I think that in the books, they just called them purists - this makes the reality of the situation much more evident to us, the readers.

Avery scares me quite a bit. He's honestly very scary if you pay attention; even in Graham's POV, where they are friends, he is scary. Especially here. He's so good at manipulation as well. That, I think, is even scarier.

"she’d spent so long making herself there to soothe the insults and ease the needs of these kinds of rich boys that it was inevitable, she supposed, it would backfire some day." I actually feel bad for her now, especially when from this point of view. Like this section really made me sympathize with her so much more.

Wow, the Slytherins are even more cruel than I remembered. Just because Aubrey was singing - and I can tell you that you've done an amazing job with this chapter. I really feel with Fletch - like if I'm being truly honest with myself, I would probably do something similar to what she did. Especially when they did something like carve the word "mud" into Bertram's chest.

Amazing chapter!!

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Review #11, by scintillated You Can Run

27th February 2017:
Well, we're seeing Graham start to care about Amy. A friendship between the two would do wonders, I think, and I'm really excited to see how you develop the relationship between the two throughout the rest of the story.

And that moment between Graham and Amy, while it lasted, was glorious. I really liked how you wrote it; your descriptions of setting has always been really great. But what Amy said was true, about how he still treats Muggleborns relatively badly and doesn't stand up for them. Hopefully this moment makes Graham realize a few things!

"‘Are they?’ She looked up. ‘Or do we just say that so we don’t have to pretend we’re better?’" This quote really stuck to me. I really do not know what to make of Cornelia Fletcher.

Sirius doesn't suspect anything, and it makes me so frustrated. I really hope that he realizes something. But is Fletch feeling something along the lines of guilt as well?

I like Lily, and I like Wick, but I don't like Lily and Wick. At first, I was happy for them, but I don't know, the more I read about them together the less I like them as a couple. But I still really like Wick, and I still really like Lily, so.

And I'm so glad that Mary finally got to become the Seeker!

I really wonder who wrote Gutters. Maybe it was Wick all along.

Also I love how you're including a lot of the Potters' background in this. Like James Fleamont Potter and the whole haircare thing; all these tiny canonical details just make me squeal every time I see it.

Aw, Dory's reaction when Mary hugs her! That was so cute!!

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Review #12, by scintillated That's How it Goes

26th February 2017:
Fletch - Fletch is a complex person. I dislike her, sure, but that doesn't mean that I can't appreciate her character. I think you've done an extremely good job with Fletch; the neutral characters are often the ones that you have to keep your eyes out for. Those are the ones with the most conflicting ideas.

Like Amy, Amy's starting to show her Muggleborn pride and spirit a bit more. She's starting to become more honest. And Fletch, well her point of view actually makes a bit of sense. Like the more I read of her, the more I understand her. I don't necessarily like her more, but I do see the way she works; and wow, is she one heck of a character.

I'm glad that Lily really did get him over the match and into something else. Also the Marauder's Map! I'm actually liking James a lot more now: Like when he says: "I made this about the war.’ He tapped his wand on his hand, leaving inky marks on his palm from where he’d been inscribing. ‘So let’s fight a war.’" That is such a powerful line. When I read it, I just thought about the beauty of the line. Your writing is really amazing, you know.

And in this chapter, we really see James maturing. I know he still has a lot to go, but he's different than in the beginning of the book. I actually really like this James.

Also, I actually don't hate Peter. Like normally, I always hate Peter. But you've made him into this real boy, not this cowardly, traitorous man that he doesn't become until later. I'm very glad you did this.

You know, in a way, I'm kind of glad that Gryffindor lost. It got James to lift his head out of his butt, and I would have been scared to see Mulciber's reaction if they had lost the match.

Whoo hoo, James/Lily development!! Honestly, I'm so curious about Gutters now, I can't wait to see who wrote that.

Dearborn and McGonagall's conversation was an interesting one. Dearborn is obviously younger, and he definitely has different ideas as of how to protect the students than McGonagall. I see what she's saying, but I still think that she should pay attention to the people being attacked inside the school. And so that is why Dumbledore isn't there, because he's leading the Order. That's what I assumed in the beginning, because it makes a lot of sense!

This chapter was really great, especially with all the James/Lily interaction. Onto the next one!!

(Also, I realized in my review on the last chapter, I misread the scene of the Slytherin party. And while I do think that Randal is very focused on the war, I do think that the other Slytherins are choosing to ignore it right now. But they can't forever.)

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Review #13, by scintillated Landslide

26th February 2017:
Hey, Amy came to visit Graham! I'd like to think that this is the start of a budding friendship :D I also like Madeline a decent amount, she doesn't seem good or bad, but she seems like a good sister, and that's enough for me.

I think that Randal and Graham are lying to themselves, in a way that not everybody is thinking of a coming war or a political statement. The war has taken over their lives just as much as the Muggleborns, because war is inescapable. Especially for the people starting it.

The losing ideal - that really struck a cord. Even if the political statement is something that is a bit less to the snakes, it certainly was huge to everybody else. And this is definitely having an adverse effect. Well, at least you have to go down to rise, don't you??

I really don't know what's going on with Travers. He's definitely a future Death Eater, but being friendly to Jack, a Muggleborn - if their friendship was an escape in the first place, then why is he doing it now? I'm looking forward to see how complex you make Travers in the future; the fact that he's a future Death Eater and ex-best friends with a Muggleborn is already plenty complex.

This Quidditch match really was James' battle, of what he could do inside of the school. And you've described his defeat, his reaction quite elegantly. The James/Lily scene was really great, and for the second chapter in a row my Jily shipper heart is sCREAMING. But even more than that, Lily is pretty inspiring. She's definitely one of my favorite characters, in the top three.

Poor James! I feel really bad for him now - and his dad is definitely dying sometime soon, after all, none of the parents are around for their deaths. And poor Lily! This just shows the isolation that Muggleborns face in wizarding society - it shows the things they have to deal with.

This chapter was really deep, and I loved it so much.

Author's Response: Madeline has been sheltered from the worst of the war by both Graham AND Randal, for what little good it's done. We'll see more of her. Same with Travers; his motivations aren't that complex, but they're not easy to see right now.

This really is where the James/Lily train gets started, and Lily is finally starting to show how she can use her fire to help individuals, not just causes. James has a lot of healing to do along with all of the growing.

This chapter is one of my favourites, so I'm glad you liked!


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Review #14, by scintillated More Than One Day

26th February 2017:
This line: "This wasn’t just about a Quidditch match. This had become, with Potter’s frenzied pledges, a political statement." This line sums up so much. Even I was tense during this chapter, which just proves to show how much you've drawn me into the story; I feel for the characters and feel as if I, myself, am with them too.

Sometimes, I can see James' genuine feelings about Lily, and it makes my Jily shipper heart scream. I can't wait until James grows up and Lily grows up and they both have an epic romance, knowing your writing, it will be great even if it is most likely a slow burn.

To be honest, I strongly dislike Fletch. Like not just from other points of view, even in her own point of view I dislike her. But I think that's what makes the story so interesting, in a way.

You know, I predicted a Graham point of view for the Quidditch match, but I didn't think that Sirius would have one too. I really like the way you wrote the ending of the first Graham scene, it was really beautiful. I feel like Sirius is also starting to be suspicious; I really hope he figures it out and stops giving Fletch the tactics. I don't understand how people trust her - as I think I've said many times before, she is so shady.

Not surprised that the Slytherins are playing so dirty; in a game where you'd do anything to win, it really shows the difference between the Gryffindors and the Slytherins. The Gryffindors are being honorable, the Slytherins are not.

Ugh, Fletch makes me sick. Like I hate her even more than I hate Graham, the almost Death Eater. And that's saying something.

AND NOW I'M REALLY UPSET. I really thought something was going to happen during the Quidditch match, that Gryffindor would beat the odds. I guess not. But is that italicized bit in Graham's section him praying? Imagine the statement this win is sending. I'm cringing thinking about the outcome.

But this chapter was so enrapturing - you switched POV's so artfully, I was at the edge of my seat the whole time.

Author's Response: You are very right, James and Lily absolutely BOTH need to grow up. Fletch is being an awful person here; she's not at rock bottom but this is one of the more distasteful things she'll do. People don't distrust her that much because it doesn't occur to them she might be spying; for them, it's just a fun little way of gambling with their pocket money. They don't realise that for Fletch, this is a whole flow of finances which helps her get by.

And yes, that italicised bit is Graham praying. Faith will also play a part in this story, as another thing to examine in the conflicting cultures.


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Review #15, by scintillated What'll You Do Now

26th February 2017:
I feel a little bit bad for James, after seeing his reaction to Lily and Wick's date. Not that much, though, as we all know what happens in the end... ;) Now I feel bad for Wick!

I wonder who wrote Gutters - it must serve some other purpose than making Professor Drake look bad; those articles had to be written for a reason, about the Mulcibers and Dorothy and Dumbledore. I'm trying to think of somebody who has a grudge against all three of them, but really, I can't think of anyone.

The stress is really getting to James, isn't it? I feel bad for Dirk, and the whole team, really - they're going to lose, because of Fletch. Maybe she'll have some sort of change of heart, but I doubt it really. Or maybe - plot twist - Graham will. As in, he'll know what the game is about, and in some moment of heart, will let Dirk catch the snitch. I doubt it, though.

But right now, I like James a little bit more than I used to. Sirius' POV really gives insight into the real James.

When Graham is running to the stable, I really can't tell if he's doing it for the grade, or if he cares about the animals. But later on, I can see how he cares about them a bit more - I find it funny that Graham and Amy are the only students to show up. Don't any of the others care about their grade??

Wow, this really gave a lot of insight into Graham's point of view. I sympathize with him a lot more, about not getting his culture and traditions wiped out, but I still wish he'd find some way to stand up to everybody else. Because to them, it's obviously not about their culture, as Amy kindly pointed out.

I have a feeling that Graham's like a wild card in this story. I have no clue what he's going to do, he could go either way. Just like Fletch, to be honest.

Amazing chapter!!

Author's Response: James will get over it. Or, not. WICK might get over it some day. Or, not!

The writer of Gutters - all I'll say is that they have some political agenda, some personal agenda, and also a little bit of an agenda of writing so as to deflect suspicion away from themselves.

Dirk can't quite cut it in James' team, and James needs to relax. He probably won't. I'm glad Sirius' POV makes James more sympathetic, it's one of the main purposes of hearing from Sirius.

Graham is absolutely heading to the stables for the animals. As for the other students, they either didn't realise the stables were in trouble (Graham almost didn't spot the roof coming off, after all) or assumed it wasn't that bad and someone else would take care of it. And yes, Graham could go either way. Sirius almost has it easy, being a blood traitor - he hates his family. Graham doesn't, but his family and friends are wrong.


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Review #16, by scintillated You Started Something

26th February 2017:
I really like Jack and Dory's friendship! I don't think I've seen much of it, but from this first scene, it's really great :) And wow, I wasn't expecting Dory to like Mary, this should make some interesting complications. I really hope that Mary likes Dorcas back!! Also, every time I read Jack's POV, I just love him that bit more. That part where he compared his leather jacket with Sirius' made me sad for him, especially since Sirius is such a FOB.

Also, haha, Wick and Lily are such nerds! (I mean that in the most lovable way possible) And I was definitely not expecting that for Wick's family; I'm glad we got some background into his life. At least it explains why his name is Gerald!

Hmm I wonder what this paper is all about? I know that the Slytherins don't like Dumbledore, and that the Gryffindors hate Drake, but who would dislike them both? The only person I can think of is Fletch, and she wouldn't give her services out for free. Here's to hoping we find out in the next chapter!

Author's Response: This is the first real time we see just Jack and Dory; it's important to examine all parts of a trio! I thought it'd be interesting to draw attention to the class contrast between Jack and Sirius, not just the heritage contrast; Sirius is a bit of a poser, but he can do all the things the 'genuine' Jack cannot. Like pay for stuff.

This really is the chapter for class, though, because Wick is the other counterpoint to Jack; another Muggleborn, with a completely different experience of society. But yes, poor Wick, he has no desire to go by the name 'Gerald.'

Gutters shall continue to be a mystery for a while, yet. ;)


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Review #17, by scintillated Can't Hide

26th February 2017:
Jily is my OTP, but somehow, in this story, I find myself shipping Lily/Wick a whole lot more than I do Lily/James. I hope that the Hogsmeade visit goes well; somehow, I have a bad feeling about it. But I'm glad that Wick asked Lily. (Also, I laughed when Lily mentioned the thing about not being able to imagine herself marrying a pureblood, because, well, James).

Honestly, I don't like Fletch very much. I know that she's very neutral in this war; she does whatever benefits her. But while I don't like Sirius that much either, I do feel bad for him, as she's duping him quite a bit. And she's just so shady, I don't think anything good is going to come from what she does.

I really liked this chapter, though!

Author's Response: James is not yet worthy of Lily, and Lily is not yet... empathetic enough to be a match for James. Wick/Lily plays an important role, but one of those roles is certainly helping Lily grow up and think more of others in means beyond just fighting for them.

Fletch is up to no good, really, no.


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Review #18, by scintillated Black Dog

26th February 2017:
What Lily said in this chapter, I agree with, a thousand times over. I didn't even really know that I was feeling that until she voiced it, and it's true. It's funny, how you've made me dislike the Marauders, and honestly I love it. In all of these Marauders-era fics, everybody includes their pranks but very few include the war. And you- you show their immaturity, and their flaws. You show how they are idolized, but how they shouldn't be. You've made them so real and flawed.

On the other hand, every chapter I read, I feel worse and worse for Marlene. Sirius doesn't deserve her, a thousand times over; we can see that he's making somewhat of an effort, but he just doesn't feel enough. He knows he's stringing her along. And that makes me dislike Sirius just that much more.

I also really like Wick! He seems like a stand-up guy. Also, what Mary said really stuck to me: how being attacked is her life, and how Sirius cannot understand it. You've really made this a war of the Muggleborns, something which is really important here. Loved the chapter!

Author's Response: The point with the Marauders at this stage is that the war is coming and they're still doing their teenaged pranks. They haven't caught up with the idea that things are serious. So most of the school still loves them, but those who are wiser to the wider world, like Lily, just find them insufferable because they could BE more and they're doing very little.

Sirius does not deserve the sympathy, you're very right; Marlene absolutely does. But I think we see a nicer side of Sirius through Mary, who isn't trying to attack him with her point - he DOESN'T and can't understand, not fully, and maybe if he realises this it'll make a change in him.


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Review #19, by scintillated He That Gazeth on the Skies

26th February 2017:
I never know what to think of Graham, when I read his POV. He' s definitely not a leader, but a follower; but he's still on the wrong side, isn't he? But it seems like he might start changing, especially since he started to stop Snape from cursing the child. His point of view is always really interesting to read, because again, I never know what to think. From the few times he's been mentioned in the other points of view, he's not a good guy. He's a pretty bad guy. And I can see that when I read this chapter, but it just makes me think - what if he changes?

Overall, I really liked this chapter! Graham's chapters are always really thought-provoking and fun to read :)

Author's Response: One thing to bear in mind with Graham being seen through the eyes of others as a 'bad guy' is that he gets tarred by his association with his brother, and other junior Death Eaters. Of course, this makes him complicit in the things they do, which is almost as bad, really. Graham certainly has the CAPACITY to change; the real question is will he?

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Review #20, by scintillated Say You Want a Revolution

26th February 2017:
Lily was very angry in this chapter, which I think fits the chapter title nicely! I really like how she keeps this in such importance; there are too many fanfictions that I've read where the war doesn't seem to affect her besides with her relationship with James. But of course it would be the center of her - this is something against her.

I wonder what's up with James, by the way.

I also really like Professor Dearborn! He seems like a great guy; I know he's part of the Order of the Phoenix, which makes sense based on his personality. I like how he's the Muggle Studies teacher; it's a subject that's normally considered easy and dumb, but it just shows the empathy he has with the Muggles as well, which is an important part of fighting against the Death Eaters.

And I actually want to slap Professor Abernathy - he's so blatant about his dislike of muggles. I like how he's the Head of Hufflepuff, so you're showing that not all the bad guys are in Slytherin. Just like Emmeline, a member of the Order that is in Slytherin. Also I'm really starting to like Wick! I feel like in this story, you're introducing a lot of Muggleborns, and their bravery against this prejudice and attacks they face, and it's really great.

Great chapter!

Author's Response: Too many fanfics place the Marauders, not a Muggle-born amongst them, at the heart of the war. I wanted this to be Lily's story; she's the one who'd be eradicated.

Professor Abernathy is self-absorbed and petty; his is the kind of institutionalised bigotry where it's easier for him to blame Muggles and Muggleborn as scapegoats for problems than actually tackle things, and because it makes his life easier to side with the Slytherins (and their influential families).

How one faces prejudice is very much a point of the story, so characters like Wick give us different angles to Lily. And Jack.


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Review #21, by Kristina1990 I Am What I Am

26th February 2017:
So, Graham is being pulled into a world he doesn't want to belong to by his brother and seeing even his mother uncomfortable with the situation, raises more doubts. Will he go along with it, or keep his read low and hope for the best, or finally show true color?

Wow, what a blow for Sirius. I think there is no worse punishment than pleasing his parents. But it's what he will do about it now that's important. Perhaps this will help him to step up and help James.

I'm afraid Lily will be too late. Maybe it's a wrong gut feeling (I certainly hope so)...

Author's Response: Graham's true colours so far have been to put up with what's going on, because anything else would force him to separate himself from his family and the friends he's had his whole life. It's hard to tell what he really believes right now.

Sirius is turning a corner. The question is which one? Lily... is in for an interesting Christmas Eve.

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #22, by scintillated Forgotten Boy

26th February 2017:
Poor Jack! I feel so bad for him - how bad must it feel, to have an old friend voicing all your insecurities and making fun of them. I'm glad we got some background on Jack and Travers' friendship, though! It makes me feel better when I think about his friendship with Lily and Dory, though. At least he has them - even if Marlene doesn't act all that nice to him (in a way). Also, that one line about him eating breakfast alone; that made me really sad.

Lily and Dory really are good friends - in this chapter, what I noticed about Lily was her bravery. The first time was when she was ranting about Muggleborn and conformity, the second time with Mary; even that, though, was tied into something a little negative (a whole lot of anger at something that most people consider small, her recklessness), which makes her so much more complex and real. I also liked Jack's bravery. It wasn't like Lily's, but it seemed to be done out of loyalty, and simply knowing what the right thing to do is. And that's important as well.

I can't wait to find out what happened between Mary and Mulciber - it seems to be something awful. And aw, the ending was so sweet! What a great chapter!

Author's Response: Jack and Travers had a complicated past. Or not so complicated; Travers was a rebel (a little like Sirius) who made different choices (in part because his family, while horribly bigoted, are not just as Plain Awful as the Blacks are, and thus harder to hate).

Marlene isn't trying to be unpleasant to Jack, he just makes her supremely uncomfortable and very nervous. He is excellent at taking her words the wrong way, and she's realised this, which makes her more apprehensive in picking her words, which makes her put her foot in her mouth more often.

The story of Mary and Mulciber is, yes, just plain awful.


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Review #23, by scintillated Make Me Smile

25th February 2017:
poor marlene! the more sirius keeps stringing her along, the more upset that she's going to feel. i understand why he's doing what he does, but the more he does it the worse i feel for her! remus seems to be the only one out of sirius' friends that minds what he's doing to her, which again, really sucks for marlene :(

wow, drake really is a bigot. if he's a friend of professor abernathy... i'd hate to see what might happen in the future. i feel like this kind of shows the spreading of this idea? like a professor shares somewhat the ideals of Voldemort - it honestly feels like a good buildup. Like, no place is safe from the war.

And I feel like this is the beginning of Emmeline's trek towards the good side? Because as we've seen, her relations with the Slytherins are shaky at best. I feel like in Graham's POV, we see that he believes in the ideas that his friends spread, but not as strongly, and he doesn't do anything to stop them. While that's not as bad as them, it's still plenty bad.

This chapter was great! You managed to start out light and slowly blend into dark, and the transition into it was so well done - also, there was more Emmeline, which always makes me happy :)

Author's Response: Sirius is being entirely unfair to Marlene, and Remus knows it. Remus and her are prefects, so he knows her and he likes her, but who can tell Sirius Black what to do, especially when it's something he wouldn't WANT to do?

And yeah, I find it hard to believe, with anti-Muggle-born sentiments so widespread, that they wouldn't make it to the teaching staff at Hogwarts. Drake is just supremely unpleasant.

Graham and Emmeline have been in similar situations and made separate choices. Graham doesn't STRONGLY share the beliefs of the anti-Muggleborns, as we'll see - it's just what he's been raised with and he's obviously not good at dissenting. Emmeline's gone another way.


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Review #24, by scintillated That You Dare to Dream

25th February 2017:
YIKES

Did we already know that the Marlene thing was a bet? Because I feel even worse for her now, if that's possible. I'm strongly disliking James as of now - I hope that he has a chance to grow and mature, seeing as this is their sixth year. He just seems like kind of a bully right now.

On the other hand, Fletch seems to be playing with danger quite a bit. Why does she do what she does, and not just stay out of it? I guess that's just Fletch for you.

Also, I'm extremely curious about Emmeline Vance. She's part of the first and second Order, but she's a Slytherin - that's something that I've never seen before. I'm excited to read more about her and what exactly is going on with her, and how she seems to hold so much sway over the Slytherins. It seems like she used to be part of their group, terrorizing Muggleborns and all that, but not anymore? She's very much an enigma.

Another great chapter!

Author's Response: I believe the chapter of the Marauders on the Hogwarts Express addressed some of the bet stuff, but I could be wrong. But no, James and Sirius made a silly bet which got WAY out of hand, and now Sirius has to dump Marlene and feel incredibly guilty, or stay going out with her and try to make the most of it. James is right now supposed to be unsympathetic, don't worry. He'll have a chance to change.

Fletch goes where there's money, and there's money in Team Slytherin. We will absolutely get the story of Emmeline Vance in the future!


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Review #25, by scintillated Move On Up

25th February 2017:
this chapter was really good! the switching of POV's was really smooth, and i enjoyed it a lot! i think that part about teachers overlooking is a good addition, because i feel like that's what realistic, especially of slughorn and what i know so far about abernathy, and even flitwick and mcgonagall. especially since tension is building up.

i also liked jack in this chapter, just because i feel like more of his flaws were exposed. like somehow i like him a bit less but that makes me like him more, if you know what i mean? and i feel so bad for Marlene, i can't wait to see when this blows up in her face (hopefully that doesn't make me seem like a completely horrible person).

also i wonder why james' prank was so mean? not that dorothy didn't deserve it.

great chapter!

Author's Response: Originally NFA was just one POV a chapter, but that became clunky as hell so I dropped that. The first 6 just get to introduce their own POVs.

The school kind of has to be ineffective if the junior Death Eaters are to thrive, so there are flaws in Hogwarts' teaching. McGonagall is awesome and tries her best, but she's outnumbered by the weak (Flitwick is not an authoritarian), the beleaguered (Slughorn is in a tough position with the Slytherins), the decent ones without enough power/influence (Dearborn, Sprout), and then there's the corrupt like Abernathy, who's on a power-kick and so wants things to be quiet. Inspired gently by Buffy's Principal Snyder.

James has his Problems right now and it's making him less than pleasant.


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