Reading Reviews for Not Fade Away
  
118 Reviews Found

Review #1, by scintillated That's How it Goes

26th February 2017:
Fletch - Fletch is a complex person. I dislike her, sure, but that doesn't mean that I can't appreciate her character. I think you've done an extremely good job with Fletch; the neutral characters are often the ones that you have to keep your eyes out for. Those are the ones with the most conflicting ideas.

Like Amy, Amy's starting to show her Muggleborn pride and spirit a bit more. She's starting to become more honest. And Fletch, well her point of view actually makes a bit of sense. Like the more I read of her, the more I understand her. I don't necessarily like her more, but I do see the way she works; and wow, is she one heck of a character.

I'm glad that Lily really did get him over the match and into something else. Also the Marauder's Map! I'm actually liking James a lot more now: Like when he says: "I made this about the war.’ He tapped his wand on his hand, leaving inky marks on his palm from where he’d been inscribing. ‘So let’s fight a war.’" That is such a powerful line. When I read it, I just thought about the beauty of the line. Your writing is really amazing, you know.

And in this chapter, we really see James maturing. I know he still has a lot to go, but he's different than in the beginning of the book. I actually really like this James.

Also, I actually don't hate Peter. Like normally, I always hate Peter. But you've made him into this real boy, not this cowardly, traitorous man that he doesn't become until later. I'm very glad you did this.

You know, in a way, I'm kind of glad that Gryffindor lost. It got James to lift his head out of his butt, and I would have been scared to see Mulciber's reaction if they had lost the match.

Whoo hoo, James/Lily development!! Honestly, I'm so curious about Gutters now, I can't wait to see who wrote that.

Dearborn and McGonagall's conversation was an interesting one. Dearborn is obviously younger, and he definitely has different ideas as of how to protect the students than McGonagall. I see what she's saying, but I still think that she should pay attention to the people being attacked inside the school. And so that is why Dumbledore isn't there, because he's leading the Order. That's what I assumed in the beginning, because it makes a lot of sense!

This chapter was really great, especially with all the James/Lily interaction. Onto the next one!!

(Also, I realized in my review on the last chapter, I misread the scene of the Slytherin party. And while I do think that Randal is very focused on the war, I do think that the other Slytherins are choosing to ignore it right now. But they can't forever.)

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Review #2, by scintillated Landslide

26th February 2017:
Hey, Amy came to visit Graham! I'd like to think that this is the start of a budding friendship :D I also like Madeline a decent amount, she doesn't seem good or bad, but she seems like a good sister, and that's enough for me.

I think that Randal and Graham are lying to themselves, in a way that not everybody is thinking of a coming war or a political statement. The war has taken over their lives just as much as the Muggleborns, because war is inescapable. Especially for the people starting it.

The losing ideal - that really struck a cord. Even if the political statement is something that is a bit less to the snakes, it certainly was huge to everybody else. And this is definitely having an adverse effect. Well, at least you have to go down to rise, don't you??

I really don't know what's going on with Travers. He's definitely a future Death Eater, but being friendly to Jack, a Muggleborn - if their friendship was an escape in the first place, then why is he doing it now? I'm looking forward to see how complex you make Travers in the future; the fact that he's a future Death Eater and ex-best friends with a Muggleborn is already plenty complex.

This Quidditch match really was James' battle, of what he could do inside of the school. And you've described his defeat, his reaction quite elegantly. The James/Lily scene was really great, and for the second chapter in a row my Jily shipper heart is sCREAMING. But even more than that, Lily is pretty inspiring. She's definitely one of my favorite characters, in the top three.

Poor James! I feel really bad for him now - and his dad is definitely dying sometime soon, after all, none of the parents are around for their deaths. And poor Lily! This just shows the isolation that Muggleborns face in wizarding society - it shows the things they have to deal with.

This chapter was really deep, and I loved it so much.

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Review #3, by scintillated More Than One Day

26th February 2017:
This line: "This wasn’t just about a Quidditch match. This had become, with Potter’s frenzied pledges, a political statement." This line sums up so much. Even I was tense during this chapter, which just proves to show how much you've drawn me into the story; I feel for the characters and feel as if I, myself, am with them too.

Sometimes, I can see James' genuine feelings about Lily, and it makes my Jily shipper heart scream. I can't wait until James grows up and Lily grows up and they both have an epic romance, knowing your writing, it will be great even if it is most likely a slow burn.

To be honest, I strongly dislike Fletch. Like not just from other points of view, even in her own point of view I dislike her. But I think that's what makes the story so interesting, in a way.

You know, I predicted a Graham point of view for the Quidditch match, but I didn't think that Sirius would have one too. I really like the way you wrote the ending of the first Graham scene, it was really beautiful. I feel like Sirius is also starting to be suspicious; I really hope he figures it out and stops giving Fletch the tactics. I don't understand how people trust her - as I think I've said many times before, she is so shady.

Not surprised that the Slytherins are playing so dirty; in a game where you'd do anything to win, it really shows the difference between the Gryffindors and the Slytherins. The Gryffindors are being honorable, the Slytherins are not.

Ugh, Fletch makes me sick. Like I hate her even more than I hate Graham, the almost Death Eater. And that's saying something.

AND NOW I'M REALLY UPSET. I really thought something was going to happen during the Quidditch match, that Gryffindor would beat the odds. I guess not. But is that italicized bit in Graham's section him praying? Imagine the statement this win is sending. I'm cringing thinking about the outcome.

But this chapter was so enrapturing - you switched POV's so artfully, I was at the edge of my seat the whole time.

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Review #4, by scintillated What'll You Do Now

26th February 2017:
I feel a little bit bad for James, after seeing his reaction to Lily and Wick's date. Not that much, though, as we all know what happens in the end... ;) Now I feel bad for Wick!

I wonder who wrote Gutters - it must serve some other purpose than making Professor Drake look bad; those articles had to be written for a reason, about the Mulcibers and Dorothy and Dumbledore. I'm trying to think of somebody who has a grudge against all three of them, but really, I can't think of anyone.

The stress is really getting to James, isn't it? I feel bad for Dirk, and the whole team, really - they're going to lose, because of Fletch. Maybe she'll have some sort of change of heart, but I doubt it really. Or maybe - plot twist - Graham will. As in, he'll know what the game is about, and in some moment of heart, will let Dirk catch the snitch. I doubt it, though.

But right now, I like James a little bit more than I used to. Sirius' POV really gives insight into the real James.

When Graham is running to the stable, I really can't tell if he's doing it for the grade, or if he cares about the animals. But later on, I can see how he cares about them a bit more - I find it funny that Graham and Amy are the only students to show up. Don't any of the others care about their grade??

Wow, this really gave a lot of insight into Graham's point of view. I sympathize with him a lot more, about not getting his culture and traditions wiped out, but I still wish he'd find some way to stand up to everybody else. Because to them, it's obviously not about their culture, as Amy kindly pointed out.

I have a feeling that Graham's like a wild card in this story. I have no clue what he's going to do, he could go either way. Just like Fletch, to be honest.

Amazing chapter!!

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Review #5, by scintillated You Started Something

26th February 2017:
I really like Jack and Dory's friendship! I don't think I've seen much of it, but from this first scene, it's really great :) And wow, I wasn't expecting Dory to like Mary, this should make some interesting complications. I really hope that Mary likes Dorcas back!! Also, every time I read Jack's POV, I just love him that bit more. That part where he compared his leather jacket with Sirius' made me sad for him, especially since Sirius is such a FOB.

Also, haha, Wick and Lily are such nerds! (I mean that in the most lovable way possible) And I was definitely not expecting that for Wick's family; I'm glad we got some background into his life. At least it explains why his name is Gerald!

Hmm I wonder what this paper is all about? I know that the Slytherins don't like Dumbledore, and that the Gryffindors hate Drake, but who would dislike them both? The only person I can think of is Fletch, and she wouldn't give her services out for free. Here's to hoping we find out in the next chapter!

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Review #6, by scintillated Can't Hide

26th February 2017:
Jily is my OTP, but somehow, in this story, I find myself shipping Lily/Wick a whole lot more than I do Lily/James. I hope that the Hogsmeade visit goes well; somehow, I have a bad feeling about it. But I'm glad that Wick asked Lily. (Also, I laughed when Lily mentioned the thing about not being able to imagine herself marrying a pureblood, because, well, James).

Honestly, I don't like Fletch very much. I know that she's very neutral in this war; she does whatever benefits her. But while I don't like Sirius that much either, I do feel bad for him, as she's duping him quite a bit. And she's just so shady, I don't think anything good is going to come from what she does.

I really liked this chapter, though!

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Review #7, by scintillated Black Dog

26th February 2017:
What Lily said in this chapter, I agree with, a thousand times over. I didn't even really know that I was feeling that until she voiced it, and it's true. It's funny, how you've made me dislike the Marauders, and honestly I love it. In all of these Marauders-era fics, everybody includes their pranks but very few include the war. And you- you show their immaturity, and their flaws. You show how they are idolized, but how they shouldn't be. You've made them so real and flawed.

On the other hand, every chapter I read, I feel worse and worse for Marlene. Sirius doesn't deserve her, a thousand times over; we can see that he's making somewhat of an effort, but he just doesn't feel enough. He knows he's stringing her along. And that makes me dislike Sirius just that much more.

I also really like Wick! He seems like a stand-up guy. Also, what Mary said really stuck to me: how being attacked is her life, and how Sirius cannot understand it. You've really made this a war of the Muggleborns, something which is really important here. Loved the chapter!

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Review #8, by scintillated He That Gazeth on the Skies

26th February 2017:
I never know what to think of Graham, when I read his POV. He' s definitely not a leader, but a follower; but he's still on the wrong side, isn't he? But it seems like he might start changing, especially since he started to stop Snape from cursing the child. His point of view is always really interesting to read, because again, I never know what to think. From the few times he's been mentioned in the other points of view, he's not a good guy. He's a pretty bad guy. And I can see that when I read this chapter, but it just makes me think - what if he changes?

Overall, I really liked this chapter! Graham's chapters are always really thought-provoking and fun to read :)

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Review #9, by scintillated Say You Want a Revolution

26th February 2017:
Lily was very angry in this chapter, which I think fits the chapter title nicely! I really like how she keeps this in such importance; there are too many fanfictions that I've read where the war doesn't seem to affect her besides with her relationship with James. But of course it would be the center of her - this is something against her.

I wonder what's up with James, by the way.

I also really like Professor Dearborn! He seems like a great guy; I know he's part of the Order of the Phoenix, which makes sense based on his personality. I like how he's the Muggle Studies teacher; it's a subject that's normally considered easy and dumb, but it just shows the empathy he has with the Muggles as well, which is an important part of fighting against the Death Eaters.

And I actually want to slap Professor Abernathy - he's so blatant about his dislike of muggles. I like how he's the Head of Hufflepuff, so you're showing that not all the bad guys are in Slytherin. Just like Emmeline, a member of the Order that is in Slytherin. Also I'm really starting to like Wick! I feel like in this story, you're introducing a lot of Muggleborns, and their bravery against this prejudice and attacks they face, and it's really great.

Great chapter!

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Review #10, by Kristina1990 I Am What I Am

26th February 2017:
So, Graham is being pulled into a world he doesn't want to belong to by his brother and seeing even his mother uncomfortable with the situation, raises more doubts. Will he go along with it, or keep his read low and hope for the best, or finally show true color?

Wow, what a blow for Sirius. I think there is no worse punishment than pleasing his parents. But it's what he will do about it now that's important. Perhaps this will help him to step up and help James.

I'm afraid Lily will be too late. Maybe it's a wrong gut feeling (I certainly hope so)...

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Review #11, by scintillated Forgotten Boy

26th February 2017:
Poor Jack! I feel so bad for him - how bad must it feel, to have an old friend voicing all your insecurities and making fun of them. I'm glad we got some background on Jack and Travers' friendship, though! It makes me feel better when I think about his friendship with Lily and Dory, though. At least he has them - even if Marlene doesn't act all that nice to him (in a way). Also, that one line about him eating breakfast alone; that made me really sad.

Lily and Dory really are good friends - in this chapter, what I noticed about Lily was her bravery. The first time was when she was ranting about Muggleborn and conformity, the second time with Mary; even that, though, was tied into something a little negative (a whole lot of anger at something that most people consider small, her recklessness), which makes her so much more complex and real. I also liked Jack's bravery. It wasn't like Lily's, but it seemed to be done out of loyalty, and simply knowing what the right thing to do is. And that's important as well.

I can't wait to find out what happened between Mary and Mulciber - it seems to be something awful. And aw, the ending was so sweet! What a great chapter!

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Review #12, by scintillated Make Me Smile

25th February 2017:
poor marlene! the more sirius keeps stringing her along, the more upset that she's going to feel. i understand why he's doing what he does, but the more he does it the worse i feel for her! remus seems to be the only one out of sirius' friends that minds what he's doing to her, which again, really sucks for marlene :(

wow, drake really is a bigot. if he's a friend of professor abernathy... i'd hate to see what might happen in the future. i feel like this kind of shows the spreading of this idea? like a professor shares somewhat the ideals of Voldemort - it honestly feels like a good buildup. Like, no place is safe from the war.

And I feel like this is the beginning of Emmeline's trek towards the good side? Because as we've seen, her relations with the Slytherins are shaky at best. I feel like in Graham's POV, we see that he believes in the ideas that his friends spread, but not as strongly, and he doesn't do anything to stop them. While that's not as bad as them, it's still plenty bad.

This chapter was great! You managed to start out light and slowly blend into dark, and the transition into it was so well done - also, there was more Emmeline, which always makes me happy :)

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Review #13, by scintillated That You Dare to Dream

25th February 2017:
YIKES

Did we already know that the Marlene thing was a bet? Because I feel even worse for her now, if that's possible. I'm strongly disliking James as of now - I hope that he has a chance to grow and mature, seeing as this is their sixth year. He just seems like kind of a bully right now.

On the other hand, Fletch seems to be playing with danger quite a bit. Why does she do what she does, and not just stay out of it? I guess that's just Fletch for you.

Also, I'm extremely curious about Emmeline Vance. She's part of the first and second Order, but she's a Slytherin - that's something that I've never seen before. I'm excited to read more about her and what exactly is going on with her, and how she seems to hold so much sway over the Slytherins. It seems like she used to be part of their group, terrorizing Muggleborns and all that, but not anymore? She's very much an enigma.

Another great chapter!

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Review #14, by scintillated Move On Up

25th February 2017:
this chapter was really good! the switching of POV's was really smooth, and i enjoyed it a lot! i think that part about teachers overlooking is a good addition, because i feel like that's what realistic, especially of slughorn and what i know so far about abernathy, and even flitwick and mcgonagall. especially since tension is building up.

i also liked jack in this chapter, just because i feel like more of his flaws were exposed. like somehow i like him a bit less but that makes me like him more, if you know what i mean? and i feel so bad for Marlene, i can't wait to see when this blows up in her face (hopefully that doesn't make me seem like a completely horrible person).

also i wonder why james' prank was so mean? not that dorothy didn't deserve it.

great chapter!

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Review #15, by scintillated Wrapped in Golden Chains

25th February 2017:
wow! this story is so good; you have the point of view of the good side, of the neutral side, and now the bad side - honestly, this makes is so complex. it's kind of weird, but i like graham a bit, even though i know i shouldn't, because you know, he's a death eater in training. maybe as the story progresses i'll start to dislike him.

and i LOVE professor kettleburn! he's so loud and outrageous and ridiculous he literally cracks me up. like when he says this: ‘after an Assyrian Manticore shot its quills though my palm, impaling me against a tree on the banks of the Zarrineh River! I had to chop it off so I could escape! Driving a rusty nail through your hand would be --- in comparison but sometimes, Hargreaves, we have to do things we don’t like! Mulciber, get over here!’ like that is HILAROUS i died reading that.

great chapter! professor kettleburn is my new favorite professor :D

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Review #16, by scintillated Spider in a Cobweb

25th February 2017:
i love how you include people that are in the neutral side of the war; obviously, there's a lot of complex stuff going on there, and you started to explore this with fletch. i'm not really sure what to think of fletch, i mean she's that kind of shady person who deals with black markets and all that - i can see why she doesn't take either side, but she reminds me a bit too much of mundungus.

... and here is me just realizing that they have the same name HAHA I'M SO DUMB

well that explains a lot more about fletch's personality. i like amy and stebbins, though, even though I'm a bit worried for amy as a muggleborn. well, either way, it really shows a lot about the neutral side of the war, which i can honestly say i've never seen in a marauders era fic so far. you have so many characters, and you manage to make them all so complex and realistic, it's great!

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Review #17, by scintillated The Boys Are Back in Town

25th February 2017:
this was really good! i'm glad that we got to venture into Sirius' mind; even though he's treating Marlene badly, i do now like him just that slightest bit more. i'm also wondering about his relationship with Mary - why did they split up? i guess i'll just have to read and find out!!

the relationship between all the marauders is something we finally get to see in this chapter, and the way you've written it is great! peter isn't that random useless guy that he is in most marauders stories, which makes me very happy - even though he's a coward and a traitor, he was also just a boy, and obviously had some decent characteristics, and you show this here.

as a whole, this chapter was really great! i love how your POV changes are all so similar yet different; like there's a definite writing style there, but it quirks a bit depending on the character. it's awesome!

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Review #18, by scintillated Cross-Fire Hurricane

25th February 2017:
in this chapter, you managed to do two things: a party, and include a death eater (almost), and both of them were done very well! the contrast between jack & carrow was so evident; pureblood vs muggleborn, rich vs poor - also, somehow, you've managed to make me dislike sirius! i don't know how, but hopefully i'll grow to like him again. overall, this chapter was really good!! it really delves a bit deeper into jack and just makes me like him that much more. but i'm also really starting to like marlene! to be honest, i relate to her in the sense of the nerdiness factor. also i like dory a lot more! she's really growing on me :)

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Review #19, by scintillated Teenage Wasteland

25th February 2017:
this chapter was really good! i was enraptured the whole time i was reading; i couldn't tear my eyes away from the screen. as of now, my two favorites are Jack and then Lily (although i do love Dorcas, she has a spot in my heart). i really like Jack, i can't put words as to why, but i just do - and Lily, oh Lily, she is so realistic. like so often, i see these stories about how Lily is this and that and so perfect, but here, she seems so real and flawed. i think this really showed how all these characters interact with each other, and the way they do seems exactly like a group of teenagers would. i loved it!

(also, Mr. Evans is awesome. just saying ;) )

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Review #20, by scintillated Year 1: A Storm is Threatening

25th February 2017:
this chapter was great! in a way, it kind of reminds me of the beginning of a movie: how you have all these separate scenes and characters, and then they all end up uniting in a scene - which, in this case, is the mckinnon party. i'm really excited to see how you flesh out these characters; it already seems fascinating. especially since you've included action and death eaters in the first chapter, already - the war aspect of the marauders era is my favorite part of it, and i can't wait to read your interpretation of it! overall, i really really liked this chapter :)

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Review #21, by whykay I Am What I Am

17th February 2017:
Sirius - It is really laughable that his parents were pleased with him because of THAT. OMG, now we will see the fireworks.. Sympathizers of muggle-borns will be formed or broken these holidays.

Sybilla is not happy, but they can't get out now, can they, without seeming to disapprove of the choices made by Randal? I think all they wanted to do was look down upon people and let things come to a pass without actually doing anything. Now, that's not to be. Sigh. I really don't feel sorry for them. Not even Graham in this chapter.

I feel too worried for Jack and Lily.

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Review #22, by Esk Writing on the Wall

26th January 2017:
A painfully realistic view of tensions.
Graham's position of give up his morals or give up his family and society, not a nice choice. Especially as he's clearly aware that Emmeline is right, it's not going to get any easier.

Nice to meet Mundungus! I've been waiting for his introduction since Fletch is clearly an excellent sister. I enjoyed seeing the other side of Fletch, the child she's buried to survive. It's the relationships I enjoy most in your writing, everyone shaped by everyone else.

The spat between the boys was another brilliant scene, Sirius taking out his frustration over Marlene on James and Peter's brilliant defusion. It's nice to see him throughout as a real person and he might prefer leaving managing James and Sirius up to Remus but when the occasion arises Peter's up to it.

Lily's fears seem very valid too and I hadn't really thought about the horrible position a muggleborn student is in to go home, isolated from any magical connection and if under 17 not even allowed to perform magic, easy pickings. So I understand while certains students think Lily shouldn't have annoyed the Carrow's even though it would have happened sooner or later anyway. First they came for the communists and I did not speak out for I was not a communist...

Can't wait for the next chapter

Author's Response: Graham is in an awful situation considering he's not had much context or reason to take the sort of dramatic action he'd have to take to do the right thing. Sure, he's not an idiot, but he'd have to turn his back on his friends and his family and destroy his life and that's hard.

I wasn't sure if people would have realised old Dung is Fletch's brother! But yeah, and the guy's got a lot to go through before he becomes the one we see in canon. I'm hoping through Fletch we'll see some insights into this figure who's fairly unsympathetic by the time we see him in OOTP.

Peter can be an odd one to fit in. I am trying very hard for him to be, if not an equal, then an appropriate and believable Marauder, so I'm choosing to interpret him being somewhat less of a lickspittle and more a fan of the easy road which makes him follow Sirius and James around - but not an idiot and he's earned being listened to.

Lily is right, her detractors are right. The problem is Lily's MORE right; doing nothing won't help, and while Lily might be escalating, she's doing so on her terms and she's being smart and having a plan. There's no plain sailing and there's a price for standing up against evil, but the price of inaction can be everything. An apt quote.

Thanks for reviewing!


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Review #23, by whykay Writing on the Wall

25th January 2017:
That's a really refreshing take on Peter and Sirius. Like Sirius had to learn to be serious and take a stand and Peter who was at most, the right side of nonchalant (as opposed to Graham being on the wrong side of nonchalant) didn't mind. I am not sure what changed for Peter then. I guess Sirius has had to work really hard at being brave for others and unselfish - I am hoping we get more insight into Peter as I've always had an impression of him as a nervous, squeaking rat (pun unintended) and how McGonagall described him in canon (even while thinking of him as a hero, her description was very watery and lukewarm).

Marlene did good. I think. Because Sirius wasn't going to dump her soon.

Lily, please watch your back over the holidays!! Randal will attack her family. There will be some repercussions I think.

I am curious - will you be defining the three incidents where Lily and James defied Voldemort? I feel one of them might happen over these holidays.

Oh, I was right about Graham. Also, a little sad. Everyone is facing their battle and treading on the thinnest lines drawn in their mind, lines that will keep their balance, their lives and their minds.

Emm, keep safe.

Fletch - OMG - MUNDUNGUS?! Oh oh oh. I really can see the resemblance between the two - freezing to silence while watching Aubrey and disapparating from the scene once he saw Voldemort. Am I detecting a streak of fear/ lack of courage among the Ravenclaws? I can't say if I saw it in Methuselah.
But this brings me to this question - isn't it better to define the houses by what they tend to lack?

Author's Response: Sirius' arc in Year 1 is slow but it's going to be dang important. I figured it'd be too easy to start him out as this firebrand who was already fighting against injustice, and also I've been always slightly uncomfortable with the stories where rich pureblood James and Sirius are front and centre of the fight against the eradication of Muggle-borns. So they both need to Become these people, and through Lily and others showing them the way.

Peter's a tough one. I won't deny he is the canon character I am going to have to take the most liberties with, because I think a straight reading of the text really makes it freaking unbelievable that he was as trusted and favoured by James and Sirius, which honestly entirely undermines his entire bloody betrayal. So I am trying to take what I can of canon nuggets and spin them to a more well-rounded figure whose betrayal has actual meaning, instead of him being the tagalong loser James and Sirius liked first because he stoked their ego and then because... I dunno? Basically if the Marauders' MASCOT betrays them then that's hardly Shakespearean. But you're right, as he currently is portrayed in NFA is somewhat at odds with sources like McG, and that's not unintentional. The explanation is simple: Peter hasn't had to fight yet. I'm interpreting McG's memories as being the most recent she had of him, and Peter is going to be a sort of casualty of war long before he even thinks of betrayal (though it will feed into it). He can be a good friend and a pleasant companion and still not have the stuff for war, and that kind of change can also change how he's remembered.

Marlene had to do something. The problem is she's immature (as is he) and a bit besotted and we'll have to see how it goes.

I will absolutely be defining the three incidents where James and Lily defy Voldemort, BUT we will not be getting one of those in Year 1. However, it's interesting you've got a bad feeling about the Christmas break...

Graham is sticking to the easy road for now, because that's the only road he knows how to really take. Even if he'd stuck his head in the sand and done nothing that would have changed little.

Yeah, Fletch is a chip off the old block in many ways. It wasn't intention to depict a lack of courage amongst ALL my Ravenclaws (In NFA we should have some ballsy representation from Wick, the McKinnons, and Hargreaves). Methuselah's end was immensely courageous, though we can't forget his ORIGINAL reaction to Dementors, almost leaving others behind.

I think defining houses by what they tend to lack is valuable; identifying and recognising our flaws help us fight them and make us stronger. But this could become a longer topic for my review response. :D


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Review #24, by Esk A Devil Put Aside

23rd January 2017:
Just amazing, started reading yesterday and haven't been able to stop.

At last a Lily who isn't just a smiling shadow (who's greatest ambition is probably to became a healer to complement James as an auror) or equally as bad a mirror of James complete with three matching maurader esque girls.

I've always felt that Lily couldn't have both been Severus' best friend and still be besties with her dorm mates, so it was great to see a Lily as a nice if rather bossy outsider(and so much more than that). Dory is brilliant bringing Lily and Jack together so they don't have to be outsiders alone.

Jack is such a brilliant character love the class division you've captured the world is always more stratified and Jack and Amy have gone from the bottom of one society to the bottom of another without the social grace or finances to be able to play the game even if they wanted to - and if that's how life treats you why would you even want to.
Love the subtle rebellion through good work Wick and the consequences it brings, ever act of defiance prompts greater punishment - the most beautiful portrayal of the pains of rebellion.
Your portrayal of the mauraders is also one of the fairest and in my opinion most canon I've seen. Your Peter is nice and funny and just wants everyone to get along, Remus is decent but has too many of his own troubles to raise his head above the parapet. James is balanced but not a saint and I really enjoyed seeing the vindictive side we see in Snapes worst memory explored whilst also seeing he has many many redeeming points. Sirius again is balanced he's still connected by tendrils to his old life and is advantaged by it and damaged and shaped by it, I love the way you can really feel that all your characters come somewhere, they had homes and families before Hogwarts and most of them continue too. I could continue to wax lyrically about, each is complete and you've really explored the complexities of the mixing of cultures. Graham not wishing his to be obliterated in the name of progress and Dory in the middleground, effectively a first generation immigrant to the magical world.

I really liked you brought up the unfairness of flying/quidditch back in Amy's chapter, the grusomeness of the complete inaquality of the school sport where the quality of the kit is so important that any ambitions to join in must be instantly quashed. How many poor students must pretend a disinterest in involvement when they simple cannot afford a full involvement.

Jack's football chant of ‘No one likes us, no one likes us, no one likes us, we don’t care!’ is just brilliant an anthem of the outsiders.

Will go back and enthuse more topically on the different chapters now but seriously excited for a update.

Author's Response: God, I hate those depictions of Lily. Kinds. I hope it shows; I really wanted this to be LILY'S story. How can a story about the First War, against Muggleborn eradication, have pureblood James and/or Sirius as the frontline protagonists? This is Lily's war, and while there are other supremely important characters, she is the focal point. In some ways, making her a bit of an outsider was a cheap way for me to have her making brand new bonds and friendships 'on screen', and it makes Lily's story more powerful if she's becoming this person in full from the start of the story (instead of already being long friends with Dory from Chapter 1).

Class is such an important part of this story as well as heritage, and we're going to continue to explore it. The Muggle world and magical world are NOT going to be kept separate in this story, from attitudes to geography to clashes. And I really wanted to address the ways in which Muggle-borns like Hermione have to be quite unusual in terms of how easily they settle into the magical world. From education to culture to economics, there are obstacles (like Quidditch).

I never feel the Marauders are my strong point in this story so I'm glad they're working out. Sirius and Remus in particular have some stonking plotlines in Year 1 but they're not there yet!

Glad very much you're enjoying the story and thanks for reviewing!


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Review #25, by Ella A Devil Put Aside

8th January 2017:
I love reading this story and your analysis of Dumbledore...especially cause it validates my own feelings that Harry and the rest shouldnt have forgiven him as easily as they did. I feel like dumbledore for the most part has his intentions in the right place but sometimes goes waaay to "big picture" with everything and forgets about individuals and their own happiness/well-being

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