169 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Jeff Colwin Lily and Happenings

18th March 2017:
Right, now that I've got that very Peter-like admiration out of my system, I'll move on to the actual review.
I read the entire thing in close to an hour and I'm just so addicted already, it's not even funny. There's so many things remarkable about this story, both glaringly obvious, and so easy to take for granted, so I'm going to list them out one by one.
First, and perhaps the most blindingly obvious, is how gorgeous your characterization is. You've portrayed nearly every character so flawlessly that I can barely contain the flood of praise I'm about to dole out. I'm not so sure about how convincing Marlene is as such an airhead, especially after how selfless she came off in first year, but it seems like just a phase, and you're doing it realistically enough. Another thing which struck me as a bit off was that incident when James told Lily that there was no point in fighting a losing battle, because that doesn't sound like James AT ALL. James is the kind of guy who never gives up and never backs down, something which came across really strongly in his pursuit of Lily in Hogwarts.
But apart from that. Oh, sweet Merlin.
I wish I could list out all the moments where I just went, "That sounds EXACTLY like her/him!" Everything about each character's lives affected them so realistically. James with his incredible upbringing, and his goofiness and lightness and idealism and grit. Sirius with his abusive background, and his strong walls of recklessness and courage hiding his wounds and incredible empathy. Remus with his innate goodness and desire to let no one hurt like he did, and his instinct to comfort and nurture. Peter, with his complexity of thought, his indecision, his hero-worshipping and his desire to belong. Lily, with her fierce sense of right and wrong and her equally fierce loyalty, two things which constantly grapple with each other during her friendship with Snape. (At this point I'd also like to commend how you didn't just make her a goody two-shoes, but a far more complex individual with the exact kind of flaws which only James would truly understand, but the kind of qualities that would make both him and Snape fall in love with her. I especially loved the moment in the hospital wing when James sees right through her guilt and tells her to make sure her decisions are worth it.) Snape is especially gorgeously written, with his jealously, and unquenchable curiosity, and his bitterness and indecision coming through very clearly.
The support characters are amazing too, and really well fleshed out- Mary with her Muggleborn background, Dorcas and her dead father and newly discovered brother, and Marlene with her sincerity and enthusiasm. And did I mention Adhara? God, I LOVE Adhara. She's absolutely, heartbreakingly, incredibly written. I can't even express how well I've connected to her and what a great job you've done of making me fall in love with her character. When she took that Bludger for James, when she followed Dorcas to the Flumes' house, when she rescued Sirius at the party and kissed him, when she got cursed by her brother- every moment of hers in this story is just perfectly written. It's breathtaking.
It's not just the characters either. It's their interactions as well. You've got their dynamics down so well- the Marauders and their fierce protectiveness and loyalty and sense of adventure, Remus and Lily's mutual respect and kindness, Snape and Lily's fluctuating friendship, James and Lily's erratic relationship, the observant and supportive group dynamic among the girls, and the rivalry and hatred between the Marauders and Snape- all of it comes across so well it feels like I'm right there with them.
Something not so obviously fantastic, about this story, however, is the pace. You've gone through nearly three years in 20 chapters, covering the major events but not making it seem too detailed, not getting caught up in immediate aftermaths but somehow portraying the consequences in subsequent events so effectively, its really very commendable. I've tried to write stories like these before, and always got so caught up in mundane details and effects of minor parts of the storyline that I never make any progress, or touched upon every event so lightly that I never had any meat left in my story anymore and the ending made no sense. You're maintaining an incredible pace with your story, but doing a really great job of getting everything across at the same time, and I really hope you can keep it up.
Lastly, I really love that you're sticking so close to the original version of events as far as possible. Everything is so chock-full of references, and you've incorporated so many details that most people would have forgotten, and its really nice for super-fans like me to see them included in the story.
Wow, this has been a really long review. I hope you appreciate the feedback, and update soon! But I'd also like you to know that I'd rather you update later and give it your best than update sooner and give it half of what you could have. Take all the time you need, and I'll still be your fan :)
Jeff

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Review #2, by Jeff Colwin Lily and Happenings

18th March 2017:
Argh why have I never found this story before?
I hereby declare myself to be evermore your disciple and forsake all worldly pleasures for the noble purpose of being your humble student and protegee. Please o' literary venerate, accept my lowly pleas and allow me to enter your tutelage.
Yours devotedly,
Jeff

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Review #3, by Dobbyandginn Lily and Happenings

9th March 2017:
I have just read all 20 chapters and I am loving it so far. I hope Lily and Marlene and the rest off the girls will forgive each other. I am looking forward to the next chapter because I am really interested.

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Review #4, by elsa Lily and Happenings

8th March 2017:
it is amazing am desperately waiting for the next chap

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Review #5, by Felpata Lupin Lily and Happenings

6th March 2017:
BETEE!!!
I thought I might leave you a review, while I'm at it! ;)

This was such a great chapter (I'm sure I already told you on Google docs, and anyway all your chapters are, but I guess you don't mind the repetition, do you?)

I especially loved your interpretation of Peter (I'm obsessed, yeah, and not even sorry). He was honestly perfect, the way he didn't know how to deal with Lily's mood changes (really, boys have the emotional range of a teaspoon... ahahah!), the way he wished someone else to be there in his place, the way his every action was lead by what the Others would have done. And above all, the way he felt guilty "betraying" Lily, but did it anyway because it would make him look good in his friends' eyes. That's so Peter. Don't you ever say you can't write him again, you write him wonderfully! ;)

Poor Lily, how hard must it be to feel so alone, to have everyone angry at you... I know it will be solved soon, but right now I feel so bad for her... And talking about how perfect your characterization of everyone is... this paragraph:
"Unanswered questions were never something Lily had been able to handle, the need to know burning in her head until it took over her every waking thought. The only way she knew she was going to get some sleep that night was to get herself some answers." This is just so Lily! I love it!

The opening scene with Severus and the closing scene in the Hospital Wing with James were both so perfect as well. Loved, loved, loved it all!

I need a new chapter... soon... hurry up and start writing, okay? :P

Love you so much, my little betee!
Snowball hug,
Chiara

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Review #6, by 5th_Marauder The Big Row

3rd October 2016:
Update please. Ive been waiting for like 5 months now. Lol

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Review #7, by YES The Big Row

15th August 2016:
Ahh I love this, please update it!

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Review #8, by James Hamro 2nd Year - Quidditch and Queer Things

17th July 2016:
AWESOME. Loving your knowledge and tactfulness

Author's Response: Thank you so much!

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Review #9, by True Author 2nd Year - Snowballs And Showdown

2nd July 2016:
Another great chapter!

The first scene was highly significant. The way you highlighted the difference between Snape's behavior was amazing. I could totally feel his confusion and how he was trying to please both the Slytherins and Lily. Also, Lily using the word "Always" was such a great detail. :D It made me feel so bad!

The friendship of Lily and Severus is highly complicated because there is nothing that bonds them except the moments they have shared back at home when they were kids. Things are slowly changing here as they know more and more about the differences between them and you are capturing that in a realistic way. I always liked to think that Lily didn't abruptly break her long friendship with Snape only because he called her a mudblood. The end of their friendship was more of a process. That particular insult was the moment when Lily had had enough and decided to stop being friends with him. And as always, I loved how you used dialogue to do so.

The Marauder scenes were as lovely as usual. :D Your ability to write natural yet witty dialogue really enhances this story as friendship seems to be the core idea. Friendship deals with communication so writing about the Marauders works wonderfully for you. Well done!

I've started to like Adhara a lot. She is a relatable and complex character which is a great combination. I can't wait to read more about what happens in her life!

Great job overall! Keep writing! I'll be back for more soon. :)

Love,
Ashwini

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Review #10, by True Author 2nd Year - Quidditch and Queer Things

28th June 2016:
Hi Ysh! It's me again!

Before I dive into this chapter, I would like you to know that I just revised chapter five of Through the Darkest and now it's in the queue. So it'd be great if you would read it once it gets validated tomorrow or the day after. :)

Now on the review!

Wow, this chapter really gave me the chills. This marks as the start of the war which makes me kind of sad yet curious to know what's going to happen and how they are going to be involved in it. It would be pretty interesting to know about Peter and his thoughts about Voldemort and his allies at school age. I hope you have touched the subject somewhere!

Btw I LOVE the way you write dialogue. It's always well written yet seems natural. Aargh, how do you do that? I'm going to have to take lessons from you! ;)

The scene with Adhara and Sirius has made me even more curious about Adhara's role in this story. She somehow seems like a character who is supposedly unimportant and suddenly becomes vital for the plot. I may be completely wrong, but that's what she seems like to me at the moment. You have a character with great potential. :)

Oh, poor Remus! He's really bad at covering things up isn't he? You've captured his state of mind perfectly. I can't wait to know how he is going to deal with his friends finding out about his furry little problem. (A sudden thought-Remus being a werewolf would have been the biggest plot twist ever only if we didn't know about it already. Just saying.)

The last scene was so amazing! Why can't we have friends like that? :P

Great chapter as always! I'll be back for more tomorrow!

Love,
Ashwini

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Review #11, by True Author 2nd Year - Hogwarts Express, Take Two

26th June 2016:
Ooh so many exciting things going on! Regulus coming to Hogwarts, Snape sitting with the rest of the (future) Death Eaters... Aah, the feels...!

Severus is a complicated character and how he happened to join Voldemort is merely a consequence of how he was treated by everyone else. I felt really bad for him here. Marlene not paying him much attention and James making fun of him along with Sirius... It was terrible! :( Great job with creating sympathy for him...! I can totally see why he loved Lily so much. She was probably the only human being who treated him right and believed in him apart from maybe Dumbledore. I was thinking of writing some Snape centric fic and this is definitely going to help me. :D

The tension between Regulus and Sirius was well written. I liked how you used dialogue between James and Sirius to convey the issues between the brothers. You did not dump the information but merged it in a brilliant way. :)

Adhara looks like an interesting character. Now I'm curious about what part she has to play in this whole drama..!

Amazing chapter as always! I miss talking to you so much...! :( Make sure you read my review response.

Please excuse any typos, I'm on my phone.

Love,
Ashwini

Author's Response: Ashwini! I miss talking to you too :( Whatsapp would be a good mode, but I don't want to share m number here that's why asked you to find me on Twitter! Have you joined HPFT?

Oohh a Snape centric fic... I wonder what it's going to be about. Snape is actually the toughest character for me to write about since I don't really like him you know, so any praise you send along his way really makes my day.

Haha, Adhara remains an enigma, but not for long though. I'm so glad you enjoyed this chapter as well, and looking forward to reading more of yours as well.

Love,
Ysh


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Review #12, by Storiesbooksandnovels The Big Row

21st June 2016:
Please don't leave me hanging here!

Author's Response: The next chapter will be up soon!

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Review #13, by Storiesbooksandnovels 3rd Year - Unos Pro Omnibus

21st June 2016:
No. Always is said just enough that you get that it's they're special word.

Author's Response: Yeah, it's just so sadly poetic, isn't it?

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Review #14, by Storiesbooksandnovels 3rd Year - Impulses

20th June 2016:
Why does Snape resist? Can't wait to go on. Love it!!!

Author's Response: I wanted to show the fundamental difference between James and snape... how when confronted by an impulse, James take the chance to give in to it while Snape resists it.

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Review #15, by Storiesbooksandnovels 2nd Year - The Uprising

20th June 2016:
As usual I love it!!!

Author's Response: Thank you for that :) :)

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Review #16, by Storiesbooksandnovels 2nd Year - Quidditch and Consequences

20th June 2016:
James may be arrogant but he, and you are both genius. I love reading your fan fiction. This is a totally not put down! What is your pen name so I can read more of these amazing stories?

Author's Response: Haha... yes, James is a tad arrogant, isn't he? I simply enjoy writing him!

Aww, you're too kind! Thank you so much. You can find me under Flaming Quilltips, and as flamingquilltips on tumblr.


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Review #17, by Storiesbooksandnovels 2nd Year - Hogwarts Express, Take Two

20th June 2016:
Oh My God I love it! You write just like JK Rowling! You are
so talented I can't wait to keep reading!

Author's Response: Oh my god that's an amazing compliment, thank you so much! You've made my day, honestly!!!

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Review #18, by td The Big Row

18th June 2016:
Awesome story! Please write more soon!!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I will be updating soon :)

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Review #19, by Toni The Big Row

17th June 2016:
Nice story so far, but you have named Alice a Longbottom already. I am also hoping that Amos Diggory is older than Lily & James, as Cedric was born in 1977, while they were still at Hogwarts.

Author's Response: Oops,thanks for pointing that out Toni, I'll correct it right away. And Amos Diggory is three years older to the Marauders, so I thinkthe timeline works, thanks for checking though :)

And hope you continue reading!


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Review #20, by JilyFever The Big Row

16th June 2016:
Great chapter, love the ending, it just makes me more excited to read more! I do believe lily should be more open minded but she lived in the 70's so I guess it's normal, but I kind of hope that when she grows she'll understand better (which I think she will)
I'm really loving this story and I must say I kind of missed James in this chapter ahah
Once again great chapter and I can't wait for the next one!

Author's Response: Every person has their flaws, and Lily
s is that she is a tad bit judgmental. But as time goes you'll see her slowly shake out of it and evolve... besides don't we all have that one friend who is annoyingly judgmental?

Ah yes,James wasn't around here much. But this, and the next couple chapters,do focus on the dynamics between the girls. You don't become as close as they did without a few hitches in the way.


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Review #21, by JilyFever 3rd Year - The Snake and the Snitch

15th June 2016:
Finally finished re reading everything and im still loving it and I just cant wait for them to grow into teenagers. I must say I really like that the story starts really from the beginning cuz that way we can see all the feelings starting to show and its lovely. I love the little jily moments and Sirius and adhara moments, also currently trying to figure out who would be cute with Remus..
Anyway as I said before great story and I can't wait for more :D
Also, I'm quite in love with this chapter I think it's my favourite one so far!

Author's Response: Hello Marta!

Aww, I am so glad you're still sticking with the gang. Yes my intention was the show the story develop slowly. Besides, their lives were annoyingly and depressingly short, and it would indeed be nice to focus on the times when it wasn'tthat close to doomsday, don't you think?

This chapter is one of my favorites too. We get to see Lily isn't all that perfect either.

So nice of you to leave a review, and hope you stick with us till the end!


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Review #22, by True Author 1st Year - Broomsticks

14th June 2016:
Hey Ysh! I'm so sorry that I'm late... I was actually in Madurai visiting my friend who lives there. Me and another friend I went with had decided to take some time off Internet and enjoy the company of nature. :) I wish I could talk to you over PM! I'm terribly missing the forums!

Now on the review!

I already like lily and her small group of friends. They have potential for a really sweet friendship. :) Also how Lily trusted Snape for not hurting her and not making fun of her breaks my heart a little :( Knowing what's going to happen to all these characters is bad sometimes...!

I always wondered how Peter joined the Marauders because he was so different than the rest of them. Remus suggesting taking him along with them really fit.

You have created a nice warm environment of the school which I love. All the friendships are growing and evolving in a natural way and nothing seems like it was purposefully done because it's canon. :)

Love,
Ashwini

Author's Response: Oohh How was Madurai? I'm sure it was really beautiful.

I know what you mean about knowing the future of the Marauders. it does make writing their happy moments really really sad. The Lily and Snape friendship was something I was reluctant to write about but it has turned out to be my guilty pleasure because I'm really beginning to enjoy shouwing their co-dependancy (in the later chapters)

I'm, honored that you think it's developing naturally, because I didn't want anypart to feel forced at all. Peter joining the marauders was always a touchy point with me, and tbh I still feel it could have been done better... maybe while revision?

Thank you for your review,
Love,
Ysh


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Review #23, by Marta (JilyFever) 1st Year - Broomsticks

12th June 2016:
Hey! I know I haven't been reviewing in a long time, but that's cuz I had some computer problems :s anyway, I'm re-reading all chapters to get to know the new characters and it's cool how theyve been introduce in a subtle way, I really like it and I hope they develop more as characters in future chapters.
Once again I hope my review helps in anyway and I do think youre writing a lovely story and I'll definitely keep reading it!
P.s. I kind of would like to know your opinion on something.. ive been reading a lot of fics and getting really inspired to maybe write my one.. but I'm too conscious of it and very shy too put my ideas out there.. got any tips? Thank you so much!

Author's Response: Hey Marta!!

I'm glad your computer is okay now. I'll be updating Chapter 19 anytime now. I needed the new characters for some future parts, but I do hope you got the feel of them, though they'll be remaining minor for long.

I do love your reviews, it's reassuring to know you're reading and enjoying my story :)

Also, I think it's wonderful that stories here have inspired you to write. I really do think you should take that plunge. Most of us started out that way... why don't you join some forums like on fanfiction. net (rating M) or hpfanfictalk. com (rating 15+) to get you started? I personally prefer the latter. Look me up there, I'm 'Flaming Quilltips' There are some amazing posts about how to set off, and some challenges that can start you off as well.

Love, and hope you keep reading!!

XOXO
Ysh


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Review #24, by Eileen 3rd Year - The Snake and the Snitch

9th June 2016:
Loved it so far. Waiting for the next chapter. Have been binge-reading since afternoon! :) Keep going!

Author's Response: Thank you so much Eileen! I will update right away :D Hope you keep with the gang till the end :D

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Review #25, by True Author 1st Year - Laying the Bricks

4th June 2016:
I like how you are shifting the point of view to include all the characters you are focusing on. This seems like the best way to handle so many characters who belong to different groups at once. It gives a good insight of everyone.

Aah, Remus! Even though my favorite Lupin is Teddy, I absolutely love his father too. *heart eyes* The first part where he wakes James up was hilariously sweet. I loved that bit! The Marauders are developing an amazing friendship. :) The title of this chapter is very appropriate!

Poor Sirius! I cannot believe his mother came to meet Dumbledore for changing his house! It's very disgusting but pretty much believable. I can imagine Mrs Black doing this. The characterization was on point!

I loved Lily too. She indeed is smart but not another Hermione. I like that. :) Can't wait to read more about her. She seems like an interesting character.

Overall it was a fun chapter! I've always wanted to read about the school days of James, Lily, Snape, everyone so I'm really excited about your story. :D I'm guessing you have fun writing this too!

Great job! I'm loving it so far!

Love,
Ashwini

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