Reading Reviews for Attack on the Death Eaters
  
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by looneylizzie Attack On the Death Eaters

5th February 2016:
Kenny!

So, Iím finally reading this story for the Name that Fandom Challenge after taking forever to get here. So sorry about that!

Wow. This story is phenomenal! I have to say, I think itís my new favorite of your stories!

The way you switched between Harryís POV and Dracoís POV in the moments leading up to and during the skirmish at Malfoy Manor is so wonderful. Itís really quite interesting to see how similar Draco and Harryís experiences are in a way. The way that they feel about how theyíre being treated by the Death Eaters and Voldemort is nearly the same for both of them.

I especially liked the theme of them feeling like livestock throughout the story. Itís so true for both of them and the fact that you highlighted that really allows us to see those similarities - which really changes my perception of Draco. He really was stuck in an impossible situation in a lot of ways.

I loved how much of a role House Elves played in this story as well, because you donít just have Dobby, but you have Tommy - who in a lot of ways is like Draco, whereas Dobby is a lot like Harry. If that makes sense. :)

The last bit is my favorite part. I like how you summed everything that happens after the skirmish up in a few paragraphs - and you do it in a way that really reminds us of how much Harry really did. And how important those things were to his victory over Voldemort. Incredible.

Anyway, fantastic story Kenny! Thanks so much for entering in my challenge!
Keep writing!
Lizzie

Author's Response: Hi, Lizzie! Thank you again while you're busy, for stopping by here. And thank you for giving me an interesting challenge. As you know, it was hard for me to write stories at that time, so it was a good chance to regain my attitude to keep writing on fanfiction. As I continued this, it got more interesting. As you pointed out, I tried to make the difference between Harry and Draco, and added another new house-elf for that.

The last scene popped up in my mind inspired by my country's author, Yasushi Inoue. I'm on my way to create my own world but this story became one of my style.

Kenny


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Review #2, by TidalDragon Attack On the Death Eaters

1st November 2015:
Howdy Kenny! Sorry I'm running a little late for the review exchange, but here I am!

What I enjoyed most about your story was the extra layer of humanity that it gave to Draco's character. Though I choose to believe that he never truly reformed, there's no question that the events you describe (and those in HBP as well) would have had a profound effect on him and the prism through which he views Voldemort and his movement. You put that on display nicely.

One thing that I think was a challenge for the story was addressing Harry's POV through scenes that we've, in essence, already seen from that POV in canon. While yours add an extra dimension of emotion and introspection, it just doesn't seem strictly necessary to split POVs here and might actually make a more coherent narrative if it were told in its entirety from Draco's perspective.

Though I wasn't precisely sure how the final paragraph connected with the remainder, I will say that I did enjoy it - something I didn't expect with a 2nd person POV on this topic. What makes it effective is that it really taps into some of the deep emotion at play for Harry in the times/situations described. For that reason I think it also presents a rather unique way that notwithstanding what I said above, you may be able to incorporate a Harry POV while maintaining greater coherence.

All in all a good start, and I want to compliment you on the leaps and bounds in your writing since I first started reading it. Keep going because all the effort I know you put it really does show!

Author's Response: Hallo, Kevin! Thank you for stopping by.

As you wrote," I enjoyed most about your story was the extra layer of humanity that it gave to Draco's character.", I can't stop portraying him like that, I like to focus on the villain's weak humanity. It may be very Asian ideology, "hate sin, don't hate the man who did sin".

I understand what you meant, Kevin. I wondered which POV would be better before writing this and conluded that it would be interesting to describe each scene from the both sides and I thought it might be more interesting to write the last part from the 2nd Person POV. I just tried to make both side's POV conspicuous alone and I tried writing the battle scene like our contry's author, Yasushi Inoue did in his work. If you have time to spare, I hope you can get English translated one, I recommend you to read, "The Silk Road" filmed in 1988.

Thank you again for your encouragement,Kevin!

Kenny


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Review #3, by Frankie05 Attack On the Death Eaters

30th September 2015:
Kenny!

So sorry to be so late on your review! This was the easiest flow of reading, that I have read of your work! I followed along easily and you elicited such deep emotions from me. Even though that isn't difficult with it being a story that honors Dobby. Seriously you gave him so much honor in this story, with swapping back and forth between Draco and Harry. The whole story wasn't focused on him and I really enjoyed that. The scene where Harry is talking to Dobby and digging his grave got me! Holy cow it was so beautifully written. All of this was so magnificent to read :) I don't have adequate words.

One thing I like is how you kept referring to them as livestock. It was a harsh image but I think it got the point across. This was one of the most descriptive works I have ever read of yours and it was done fantastically!

The only thing I thought was an interesting author choice was the drastic point of view writing change. It changed from 3rd person perspective to 2nd person the last couple of paragraphs. I'm not sure if that was by design or by accident. It was an interesting choice but it sort of works!
Great work! And good luck with both of your challenges on this!

Frankie

Author's Response: Thank you, Frankie for so much encouraging words!

Talking of the word "livestock" was quoted from the anime, "Attack On Titan". My son found it for me when I talked about lizzie's story challenge. As you pointed it out, the anime has lots of harsh scenes. I still can't understand so many children and young girls and boys like the anime. But I think I can understand the author's intention that the war is a silly thing. And I also thinik J.K.Rowling thought in the same way so I chose the theme. In that meaning, Dobby was also a victim of the Wizarding Wolrd War. So if you could feel it, I'm glad to finish this story.

Your impression is right. I wrote the last scene by design like Yasushi Inoue who wrote lots of stories about the Silk Road.

Thank you again for setting this story challenge and kind reveiw!

Kenny



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Review #4, by Musing Attack On the Death Eaters

26th September 2015:
Hi Kenny!

I am here for our review swap. Sorry for the delay.

This one-shot is really interesting and high on emotions.

I really liked the way you have shown the fear and helplessness of Draco. The war has taken its toll on him and all he wants is to just go back to his old carefree days. The way he remembers Dobby is really touching.

You have captured Harry's feelings really well. The feelings of helplessness and self-loathing he feels when his friends suffer is just so much like Harry.

In part IV, you have described the story from Dobby's death to the end of Voldemort in a few hundred words. That is really commendable.

There are a few grammatical errors here and there, but they can be easily fixed.

I loved the following lines. They are just so powerful. 'You try to give Evil the chance to show some remorse for the path that he walked and for the sins he committed, but you see no sign of regret. You resort to your last trick. With a wave of your wand, the Elder wand flies out of his hand and to you. Finally you are free. '

Thanks for the review swap and the lovely review on my story!

- Emm ^_^

Author's Response: Thank you Emm for stopping by!

I really appreciate that you left kind comments on this.

I'm struggling to weave words and it took much time to write this, so it's encouraging me. I'm glad to know you understand the both sides of the war, Harry and Draco.

The anime I chose for this challenge, describes the similar aspects of the human-beings and wars. So I felt relived you could grasp my intention.

I really pray for world peace by writing this story.

Let's do review swap again.

Kenny


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Review #5, by Slytherin Eagle Attack On the Death Eaters

26th September 2015:
Hi Kenny! I saw this story had no reviews, and I really like Dobby stories so it spoke to me and here I am now reviewing it for you!

It was interesting to hear some of Draco's feelings for Dobby. I also thought there were some really powerful emotions conveyed in the final sentence of this POV.

I found the rest of the story a little bit hard to follow in places, just because of the changing POV and timeline differences. The sentence 'She would be killed like an animal Burbage' doesn't quite make sense.

Dobby's death broke my heart like it always does.

Some of the sentence structure and grammar in the last section (IV) needs some work, but overall it was a very different, effective scene.

I really enjoyed this story and I'm glad I read this, hopefully we can do another review swap sometime.

Lea

Author's Response: Thank you Lea for stopping by!

I feel thankful you pointed out that the sentence was weird, for I also felt it after my beta did, I should've asked her but I left them 'cause she and I were, may be exhausted after work. RL often prevents us from even editting the stories properly. I'll fix it ASAP after I make an entry for frankie's challenge. I've let her wait for long.

I put some concepts of "Attack on Titans" Japanese aime so you might feel a little confused. If you have any chance to check it, please do. Then you may be able to understand this story.

About the sentence structrue and grammar in the last section, may I PM you? I'll appreciate if you can spare time for this.

Thank you for review swap!

Kenny


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